TIME FOR CHANGE

 Although I do think our nation REALLY needs to change its course that is not what I would like to write about today.  The change I am talking about has to do with The Man.  

I know men think differently but I can't wrap my head around their thought process. I guess men in general just think about things much more literally.  For instance if your man says something to you that you just can't believe you might respond by saying, "Get Out!", or in other words, "NO ! I just can't believe that!"  But when The Man hears you say, "Get Out" he becomes highly insulted thinking you actually want him to "get out". (Which, at times, is a valid assumption.) It seems to be a guy thing . . . what ever words you say they take literally so you really have to be careful with what you say. 

 I don't know if it is that men think differently or perhaps it is that they just don't listen with their full attention. Then when you say something like, "Get Out" they forget the entire conversation you were having and just hear those two words totally out of context.  I can't figure it but I know it's true.  It's like they only hear half of what you are saying.

This behavior spills over into their lives each and every moment of each and every day.  You will be in the middle of a conversation with a man when suddenly they start talking about something totally off the topic.  Example . . .  you are discussing what to have for dinner when The Man will say, "I need to get the oil changed in my car."  I usually stop talking and just look at him wondering where that came from and wait to see it it going to spill over into something else. It could go either way.  Sort of like where this blog is wandering all over the place.  Anyway . . . .  I can't figure out how this man thinks.

Back to yesterday.   I was out and about doing several chores before our house guests arrived when I got a call from The Man asking me to pick up beer at the big liquor store near us.  (Our house guests enjoy their beer and when they are here The Man will drink a lot more than he does when it is just the two of us. Thus we need to have a large supply of beer on hand along with an empty recycle bin which will be filled with empty beer cans in a matter of days.)   I was on the opposite side of town but I gladly made the stop and brought home 2 cases of 18 cans of beer.  I dragged them into the house and stuffed as much of them into the fridge as possible.  

(Please note that I do all the grocery shopping. I pay for ninety percent of the groceries and I cart the groceries into the house, put them away and then do all the cooking.)  I don't mind any of this BUT . . . 

When I got the beer put away The Man asked how much it cost. I told him it was twenty seven dollars and change.  He gallantly offered to pay which I thought was only fair because I do not drink any of this beer AND I had just spent over a hundred and fifty dollars on groceries for us and our guests who happen to be his family.  

Now here is where I have a problem. If the situation was reversed I would have offered to pay for ALL the GROCERIES and the beer but he did not. So I was just happy that he offered to pay for the beer. Again if the rolls were reversed and he told me I "owed" him $27 I would have just given him $30 and called it even. This man spent ten minutes looking through his pants pockets, dresser drawers and where ever else he stashes his cash until he found TWO single dollars to add to the ten and the five that he handed me.  

SERIOUSLY ??????????   I did NOT ask him for the sixty-three cents in change or how ever much it was over the $27 dollars.  I didn't even think when I rounded off the cost of the beer.  It was just easier to say $27 . . .  If I had known he was going to be so "exact" I would have told him the damn beer cost $30 and then considered myself lucky to get gas money included for my drive to the liquor store. 

It's a small thing but it just isn't something that a woman would do.  I never will understand the workings of the male mind.  

NO OFFENSE

 I am offended !  It seems that now a days EVERYONE needs to be offended by something or you are not normal.  (Normal being a very relative term.). I am offended that everyone is offended.  It's a crazy crazy world we are living in.

I would like suggest that all of you people out there who are offended each and every day by the slightest things spend a week with my family.  THAT would REALLY give you something to get your panties in a twist. You think you know what offensive behavior is ? HA !!!!  You haven't lived in my world.

I grew up with a German immigrant grand father living in my house and he ruled the roost with an iron fist.  His daughter, my mother, did not fall far from the Weiner Schnitzel tree.  My mother knew who was in charge and God help you if you forgot that person was her.  Not only was she a strict disciplinarian but when she spoke she had NO filters.  (In case you're not familiar with "filters", that is the little voice inside your head that stops you from saying cruel or stupid things at inappropriate times.)  I never knew what would come out of my mother's mouth when we were with people.  She would say things like, "OH, You're not as fat as you used to be." (That was my all time favorite because it was said often.)  or if it was raining out she might say, "Go on out, with your sour personality you won't melt." ( A take off from "go out in the rain, you're not made of sugar so you won't melt"). These offensive comments were made often and without malice.  It was just how she spoke and everyone who knew her gave her a pass when she would say something like that.  

Sadly this trait of speaking without thinking has taken root in most of my mother's family.  The Helfrich side of the family hosts many a non-thinking but well meaning person.  First and foremost of these is my oldest cousin who tells me that my intelligent and beautiful daughter must take after her father because she certainly doesn't take after me.  (A direct quote and in complete seriousness.) 

If I were an easily offended person, as it seems we are nurturing in our current society, I might never speak to the rest of my mothers family EVER again. But because I have had years and years of practice in developing a very thick skin, I just shake my head and write a blog about them. They are an endless source of entertainment.

Going along with all of this I would like to comment on the highly offensive questions that are now evident on every single form that you fill out when going to do anything medical.  You know what I'm referring to . . . Go into any doctors office and you are asked to fill out a stack of  papers asking about your medical history back to the day you were born.  (Why does the podiatrist need to know what my maternal grandmother died from?) But before you get to all those medical history questions you have to fill out the page asking for your personal information.  Name, address, phone number(s), e-mail address, insurance information, social security number etc.  And then down at the end of that page are the questions asking about your race . . . "circle one" . . .  African American,  white,  Hispanic,  other .  Other ???   As in Indian from India?  Asian ? South American ? Central American ? Mid Eastern ? South Eastern. West Eastern ?  North Eastern ?  East South West North Eastern ?????   REALLY ????  Why in God's name does any of this make any difference in how you're going to remove a mole from my butt ?????????

But it gets even better.  The next line asks for your Ethnicity ??  And this is a joke because the two choices here are . . . Hispanic or Latino  OR  non Hispanic or Latino . . .   WTF ?????  It should ask "are you alive or not alive".   But I guess it isn't necessary to ask that last question because if you are filling out these forms on your computer the VERY LAST question you need to answer is . . . (check the box)

                                                        I AM NOT A ROBOT 

So after all this all I have to say is "Get over yourselves people !  Stop looking for things to be offended by and start being nice to others so you don't offend them !"