As if I don't have enough things floating around in my head I now have added gravel to the medley. Who in their right mind is thinking about gravel at four in the morning ????? Apparently me.
It all began several months ago when The Man decided his dirt driveway needed a new coat of gravel. (This is apparently something one must do every couple of years if you live in the woods) I was not living up here the last time The Man had this done so the whole adventure was new to me and I was sitting front and center when the HUGE, long dump truck backed up the driveway two weeks ago. All I needed was a bowl of popcorn and I was all set for the show. Let me mention that there is no way in Hell that I could ever have backed that large a truck up this narrow "path" from the road to the house. The driveway is about 300 feet long and about 10 feet wide as it winds through the woods but this guy was a pro and before we knew it he was parked by the garage fiddling with chains and latches at the back of the truck. Once he climbed back into the cab the back of the truck began to lift and as soon as it was high enough for the gravel to start sliding down onto the ground. At this point the driver knew just how fast or slow to accelerate down the driveway so that the gravel poured out in an even stream until he reached the street and the truck was empty. (I even took a video!). As the truck drove off into the sunset, (not really because it was only about 6 in the evening and the sun doesn't set up here until at least 10:30) I had to walk the length of the drive to check it all out. The gravel was beautiful if you can consider dirt and rocks beautiful. The rocks are all a lovely grey and white color so it looked so clean and new. I was delighted with this new road. The gravel was loose so it was almost like walking on sand at the beach but over the next several days we packed it down with the car each time we drove in and out of the property. By the end of the week we had a hard packed new surface that was better than any potholed mess of road that I have ever driven on. I loved it !!! (Please note the use of the PAST tense . . . lovED rather than love).
All was well in my world but this apparently was not the case with The Man. It seems that the Swiss Alps were a sticking point in his mind.
When the dump truck started up at our end of the driveway by the garage it dropped a small pile of gravel before it got up enough momentum to move on down the drive. This SMALL mound of gravel was maybe 10 inches high and as wide as the truck. This mound bugged The Man for the next several days. With every trip in and out of the property The Man would mutter about the PILE of gravel at the end of the drive. In his mind the small mound had become as large and as high as the Swill Alps. This would NOT do and he HAD to get it taken care of ASAP. One afternoon soon after the "drop" I decided I would just take a rake and drag the stuff around to smooth it out. Do you know how heavy dirt and rocks are? One attempted drag of the rake and I was done with that brilliant idea. My thought was the lump would eventually smooth out. I kept that idea to myself. The Man, on the other hand, had a plan. Because he has lived here for years he has a "fix" for smoothing out his dirt/gravel driveway. Now most residents up here own pick up trucks on which a snow plow can be mounted on the front. Some folks have snow plows that can be mounted on the from to their tractors. Either way, almost everyone has a snow plow tucked away in their barn or garage just waiting for the many snows of the UP winters. This snow plow is also used to drag the dirt roads in and out of most properties out in the country. Instead of plowing forward with the plow you drive backwards dragging the plow along the dirt. This smoothes out bumps and fills in holes all at the same time. Ingenious !!!!
But wait . . . we don't have a snow plow.
Ahhhhhhh, that's not a problem for The Man. This clever fellow has come up with his own version of a road grader/plow. Somewhere along the line The Man has figured out that an old box spring from a mattress, when pulled along in back of his tractor, acts in the same way as a plow. Where he ever got this idea from I don't know but it explains why most homes out here in the country have a rusty old mattress spring sitting out in the tall grass somewhere on their property.
And so The Man plan was to have our 2 neighbor boys drive their ATV over here, hook the box spring, (which is sitting out in the tall grass by the shed on the edge of the woods), onto the back of the ATV and run it across the Alps a few times. Good plan. (I personally thought it was not necessary but who am I to think?)
Last week, before we lost our power for a day, (that blog will be coming soon), we made our bi-weekly trip to Manistique for pulmonary rehab. When we returned we saw that "The Boys" had been here, cut the grass, weed whacked AND dragged the Alps. They also dragged the damn box spring up and down my lovely packed down driveway. I don't know if the driveway drag was in The Man's plan but when we got home and I saw what had been done I was upset. I kept that to myself waiting to see what The Man's reaction would be. HE LOVED IT !!! Granted, The Alps were gone but in their place was a large swirl of gravel spread across the driveway in front of the garage AND out into the grass leaving a large circle of dirt in the center. (Picture a donut). The smooth, PACKED driveway was now covered in a loose mess with bare dirt spots in the middle and gravel sprayed off to the sides. Did I mention The Man thought this was GREAT ???? I am wondering if he thinks it is as awful as I think it is but he just won't admit that his idea was STUPID !!!!! ???????? I'm sure I will never know.
And so every time I walk up and down the driveway to the mail box or the trash can I must chant my new mantra . . . "Not MY driveway, Not MY driveway, Not MY driveway".
And yet here I am in the middle of the night blogging about gravel. I think I need a lobotomy or at the very least a good psychiatrist and some powerful drugs.
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