THE OLD MAN

Many years ago I had a discussion with my BFF Sharon about who was worse,  little kids or old men. Being a nurse Sharon though old people were much easier to deal with than small children. Having been a kindergarten teacher I love little kids. We decided she could deal with all the old folks who came into our lives and I would handle any kids that should show up along the way.  Between us we had 6 kids so she got to deal with her 3 and my 3 on many occasions. She did GOOD !  I'm not saying she didn't finish a bottle of Jack Daniels once I picked up my kids but while she was watching everyone all was well.  

We never had many occasions to deal with old folks except for those she encountered at work. My dad was a sweet heart so Sharon loved when he was visiting.  When the older relatives of mine would visit Sharon would get an ear full once they all left.  She would calm me down and explain how I should cut the older folk some slack because, well, because they were OLD ! I didn't really buy into that but because they were relatives I often gave them a pass on their quirky behavior.

But now WE are the old people and I am feeling that my peers are getting stupider by the day and I still don't have much tolerance for them.  Especially when I am living with a classic example of OLD.

What's that ?  You want to know what a classic example of old is ?  Well here goes . . . 

1.  Twenty second phone conversations that take twenty minutes !  Do you honestly think that the person at the Post Office needs or wants to know how often you eat at Burger King?  I realize this makes no sense but when The Man gets on the phone anything is possible.  He has a great deal of difficulty staying on the topic at hand. 

2.  Do I REALLY need or want to know how often he changes his socks ? One small sentence will suffice if you care to share but that seems beyond the capabilities of The Man. Once again I get a blow by blow description of why he is changing his socks on a Tuesday, which drawer the socks are in, how he decided on which pair to choose and which foot he will start with when putting said socks on his feet. 

3.  Shower time . . . I don't want to know and I especially don't want details !!!!!

These are just a few examples of how my patience is worn thin. But worse is when I see The Man putting someone else in his sights for one of his detailed conversations.  I can just imagine the poor girl sitting at her desk in what ever office she works for. Her phone rings, (usually 3 minutes before quitting time because there is no other time schedule than his). She picks up the phone at 4:57 on a Friday afternoon only to be treated with The Man. A half hour later she is late for her dinner date and The Man is still rambling on about where he put his teeth last night.  

Little kids !!!  All the way !!  Even though old people often revert to child like behavior they are still a pain in the butt.