Do you happen to remember my cousin Lu Lu ? She is my cross to bare but she also provides so many good laughs. To refresh your memory, Lu Lu is 94 years old. She cannot remember that and asks me every time I see her, "How old am I?" When I tell her she is 94 she either starts planning her 95th birthday party or she starts listing all her ailments. "I never had pain in my legs before! Why do I have it now?" We then discuss the fact that being her age comes with a lot of aches and pains which are all normal. She also wonders why she can't remember things. Again I explain that she has 94 years worth of "stuff" in her head. It is not surprising she can't remember much. Of course the few memories that she does have are shared with me EVERY time I see her. Things like "When I was a Girl Scout I walked all over the neighborhood knocking on doors. Cookies were fifty cents a box . . .." There are so many things that I have heard a thousand times but it makes her happy to talk about them.
And then there are the REALLY crazy things that she comes up with. Two weeks ago I got a phone call from her at 2:48 in the morning. Thankfully I had my phone turned off. When I did get up I called her to see if everything was OK. She had no idea that she had called me. She often mistakes the phone for the TV remote so anything can happen. When she does call me I can expect the same introduction to the call. My phone rings, having caller ID I know who it is, I answer by saying, "Hello Lucile, how are you doing?" And the answer EVERY time is, " Cathie ??? Did you call me?" I play along and say, "Sure". (It's just easier). And then we get down to the reason for the call. The call from 2 weeks ago was to tell me she is having an operation to take the bone out of her hip. She has a lot of pain so the doctor is going to take out her hip bone because it is pressing on her bladder. My response is, "Really!" We continue to discuss her up coming surgery. As soon as I can get off the phone I call Lu Lu's aide to ask what is going on? After the aide stopped laughing she told me she had taken Lu to the DENTIST because she wanted him to pull a tooth that was bothering her. Somehow or other a pulled tooth became the removal of her hip bone.
Then today I got a call . . . "Cathie ??? Did. you call me?" That call was to tell me she is having her toe cut off. The doctor said it was no good so he was going to cut it off !!! OK, we entertain the toe surgery for a while and then she hangs up. Once again I call the aide who is now rolling on the floor. Lucille has a hang nail on her big toe. The doctor told her he will fix the toe nail as soon as the infection is taken care of. He prescribed an antibiotic and will see her again next week.
I swear to you I am not making any of this stuff up. Every phone call is an adventure and I never know what the crisis of the day will be. I do keep laughing and PRAYING that I do not become a cousin LuLu when I get really old. At this rate I'll probably die before Lu.
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