WHAT'S NEW IN THE NEWS

 My kids are starting to make fun of me . . .   (Well that's really not true, they have been making fun of me for years.   I tell them I am just providing them with material to laugh at when I die,).  The most recent source of entertainment in their world is my constant source of information.  Most of my conversations these days begin with, "You know what I read in the paper today?" 

 After all those years of never having time to read a paper it is one of my indulgences that I truly enjoy.  There are many days when I don't take the time to sit on the lanai and read the paper as I eat breakfast so I end up with a stack of newspapers that I "really have to get to" but never do. My recycle bin is full every week with "old" papers.  

I started getting the daily paper after husband died. He was the ultimate source of local information because of his attention to EVERYTHING in the paper and on TV.  I have taken up his passion for newspapers but for a totally different reason.   I honestly don't care about the sports section and classifieds but the rest of it is quite entertaining.  I can ALWAYS find a story about something stupid that someone has said or done. That's a given when you live in Flori-DUH.    But there is interesting stuff too.  

Today I read that the desert sands from Africa are headed this way so watch out hurricane season.  Did you know that our hurricanes begin in Africa ?  The sand there fills the air and blows out across the ocean where those sand particles pick up moisture.  They then gather and grow into storms.  (That's the very simplified version0. The more sand blowing the more storms.   I'm not quite ready to put up my hurricane shutters but I will be paying attention.  

Along with that our Death train, the Brightline, in in financial trouble.  I guess they have had to pay for too may funerals for all the people they have run over. Which really isn't fair since the train did not case down these idiots who insist on walking or driving on the train tracks.  I really think victims should be paying the poor engineer of the train who is now in major therapy for PTSD after killing someone who jumped in front of the train or was too stupid, drunk or stoned to realize a train was coming.  As for the idiots who drive across the tracks while the gates are down, lights are flashing and bells are ringing as the train races down the tracks at 80 MPH while blasting its horn . . .  Well, honestly they are no loss to humanity since they are the dumbest of the dumb. 

Also in todays paper . . . one of Jeff Bezos' rockets blew up at Cape Kennedy yesterday.  No one was hurt but it was quite the show. The flames lit up the sky for miles and miles.  I was not outside last night so I did not get to witness this but from what the paper said I probably could have seen it from the beach near me.  

Lastly, there was a good editorial about The Donald recently going for his annual physical.  (Stay with me here. I am not pushing my political opinion.). The writer of the editorial voiced all the things that I have been thinking for years.  There is NO comparison between the health of The Donald and that of Biden when he was president.  It seems that one of the BIG "concerns" of those trying to make us believe that Trump is unfit for the job of president its the fact that he has large purple bruises on his hands!!          HELLO !!!!!! . . .   Anyone over the age of 70 is familiar with that affliction.  If you don't have large purple bruises over 90 % of your. body you are blessed for sure.  All I have to do is gently bump into a pillow and I immediately turn purple where ever I bumped.  Dwayne experienced the same thing. And NO, neither of us were/are on blood thinners.  We did/do take a small amount of aspirin each day but My shin would get these bruises even before I started on the aspirin a day routine.  People are constantly asking me what I did to cause such a mark.  If I fell down a flight of stairs or something.  Nope, I just knocked into the sofa or some equally innocuous item.  

The other observation that is being made of our president is that his hands appear swollen.  Yes?  And?  This is seemingly unusual to some folks who are not old enough to experience the joys of aging.  Not only does our skin get so much thinner so it bruises much easier but swelling of the extremities is very common in us older folks.  Standing or sitting for long periods of time causes feet and legs AND HANDS to swell.  It is unavoidable unless you choose to lie in bed all day and do nothing.  Contrary to popular opinion excessive activity or rest isn't good for old folks.  We need to learn moderation. something I and my president seem to be unable to do.  I could not keep the schedule President Trump keeps. I would be dead in a matter of weeks.  

It is also a proven fact that the older we get the less filters we have.  If I THINK something there is a really good chance I will SAY it.  I victim of a double whammy in that department.  My mother was famous for no filters.   Open mouth . . . insert foot.    There was no knowing what she was going to say. And this is true of her from the day I was old enough to listen to her.  (Not listen as in obey, because that NEVER happened. But listen to her when she was speaking to other people.  She was someone who people loved in spite of what she said to you.).   I do try to think before I speak but that is getting harder and harder the older I get.  There just comes a point in your life when you say, "Screw it !!!  I think it so I say it!"  Sorry if it offends you but that's how I feel.    

I guess that's why I blog. 

TODAY'S MAIL

 I would like to ask all of you out there to pray for my mailman.  He is going to need surgery to repair the hernia he is getting from delivering my mail.  I'm sure that after bringing all this crap to me for the past 9 years he will be due for surgery very soon.

I started my morning today by walking out to the parking lot to bring in my paper recycle bin from yesterday's trash pick-up. Then I walked around to my mail box to collect yesterday's mail. Good thing I had the recycle bin with me because I had SEVENTEEN  requests for donations stuffed into my mail box.  Seventeen ?  I'm sure most people. don't get that much mail in a month.  Lucky me !!!

Included in this collection of solicitations from various cancer societies, missions, medical aid groups, homes for children in need, the blind, the deaf  and Lord knows what else,  I have received a garbage can full of FREE gifts.   For some reason these charitable organizations seem to think that if they send me a gift worth one dollar I will in turn send them a check for $35 or more dollars.  (The good old days of sending a check for five or ten dollars are long gone. The base amount of a contribution is now $35. All that for sending me a pen that doesn't work.)

But wait . . .   The charities have gotten very creative these days.  It used to be I would receive twelve bazillion address labels in the mail in the course of a month. (Half of which had.my name spelled wrong, all of which I tossed in the trash). I guess I wasn't the only one who had no need for that many address labels.  The charities decided to get creative with their. gifts. Now I no l longer have 12 bazillion stickers, Instead I have 12 bazillion plastic grocery bags!!!  I could probably stand outside of Publix grocery store for 24 hours handing out a bag to every customer going into the store and I would still have enough to come back another day.  (I am actually thinking of sewing the bags together to make rugs for my living room and bedroom.  Possibly the dining room too.). 

Fortunately we are not limited to just grocery bags.  Some of the organizations really have gotten quite creative. In yesterday's mail I received the following:  2 bleach pens for getting stains out of laundry items,             1 combination pen-flashlight-screw driver,         A box of 6 reusable straws (I have no idea what that is all about but I will give them a try),            1 bowl scraper to use when I am baking the apple pie, fry bread and fruit pudding that I received the recipes for,         1 2027 wall calendar,        a check for $1.95      and.           a one dollar bill, (which I promise not to spend all in one place.). 

Very creative indeed.    Now you understand why I am concerned for my mailman's health.  This mail all arrived in one delivery.  If you multiply that by 6 days in a week,    52 weeks in a year I figure my mailman will be in need of surgery in about 37 weeks.   If I send you all a letter asking for a contribution will you please send a check for at least $35 for the Mailman's health fund?  

Sorry I don't have any more plastic grocery bags to add to my request but I gave them all away to different charities.  

WEIRD STUFF

 I bet you've been sitting on the edge of your chair just waiting for this blog.  Wasn't it two or three days ago that I promised I'd give you part 2 of my last post TOMORROW . . .  Oops . . .  I got distracted.  Every so often I will have a day where I actually have ambition and energy and if I don't jump on it I will just sink into the couch and do nothing productive.  That was the case this past weekend. The lanai has been a mess, weeds, dirt, furniture not in its place. I think I may have been going for the "City dump" look, which I achieved.  I spent the weekend outside in the hot sun trying to clean up the patio to the best of my aching body's ability.  I found out that my garden hose has sprung a leak that rivals Old Faithful.  It was hard to power wash the cement when half the water was pouring out from the middle of the hose.  I sure hope Snidely the snake wasn't out there because he would have been washed away.  (Yes I have a snake or two living in the overgrown weed patch that I call a garden) Every so often I will go out side and find him sunning himself in the middle of the lanai where it is nice and warm.  He's about 3 feet long. (Not any where close to the size of the Pythons that are over running or should I say slithering all over the Everglades.)  

But I digress.   I am back now at 5:30 in the morning to finish the story that I started on Friday. Onward to the weird stuff. 

The morning after my grand daughter's high school graduation I had a bone density test at a local hospital. (Something my doctor likes me to have done every 2 years. I keep telling her that my bones are fine, it's my brain that I worry about.).  Off I go for the scan and when I arrive at the hospital I realize I don't have my drivers license.  (I have been changing pocketbooks almost daily because of all the different events.). I fully expected it would be a problem to register for the scan but fortunately I was "IN THE SYSTEM" Which kind of worries me at times.  Who is in charge of THE SYSTEM?  What do they know?? When did I first enter THE SYSTEM???  Can I get out of THE SYSTEM ????  So many questions.

But in this case it was a good thing. I was not required to prove to anyone that I was indeed who I say I am.  (If I had known this I may have decided to be the King of France or someone much more interesting than me.).  

To continue . . .   I do the scan and drive back home very carefully so I will not give any cop a reason to pull me over and ask to see my drivers license. Which I don't have.  All the way home I am going over in my mind where the holy hell I have put my ID.  I of course come up with nothing.  I knew I had it on Thursday because I showed it to the guard at the gate of my daughter's community. Beyond that I haven't a clue. We had gone to dinner, attended the graduation and out for a second dinner so my grand daughter could finally eat.  (She had been on the go all day and was starving.). I got home at 10:30 PM and went to bed.  Next day my ID is missing.  I had been taking tissues and phone in and out of my purse all during dinner and the graduation. I could have dropped the license anywhere.  I call my daughter and ask her to check her house and car. I look ALL over my place. I go out to my car TWICE to look under the seats, in the door, between the seats, under my car. I looked everywhere !!!!!  I dumped all three pocketbooks out on the bed and went through every pocket and wallet. NOTHING !!!  I checked the 2 bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, dining room, living room AND the messy lanai.  The ID was no where to be found. 

Now I have to tell you that the entire time I am searching I am talking to my Guardian Angel, Maggs. Think what you will but I KNOW we all have a guardian angel who can hear us when we speak. I talk to Maggs, (short for Magnificent ) all the time.  He/she does not answer me, (I do NOT hear voices in my head) nor can I see this celestial being but I know he/she is doing a great job watching over me.  (Lord knows how I ever would have made it this far without an angel.).     So here I am, walking around the house searching for my ID card while asking my angel to help me find the stupid thing.  I go out to my car for the third time and still have no luck, I even walk over to the mailboxes to see if I might have dropped it there. At this point I'm deciding how and when I can get a new license.  I walk into the house muttering to myself and look over at the kitchen island and there sits my drivers license . . .  In the middle of the empty counter . . .  The license is white, the counter top is black . . . I could NOT MISS seeing it.   Yet I had spent an hour walking back and forth past this counter and not seen ANYTHING !!!!!!!!!!

I checked my closets for someone hiding in there because there HAD to be someone in the house who put my card on the kitchen counter.  Nope . . .  There is no hole in the ceiling where the ID fell through from outer space . . .  WHAT HAPPENED ????????????????????????

I have no explanation for this . . .   except   THANK YOU MAGGS.  

STUFF AND WEIRD STUFF

 It's only a month and two days since I told you I would write more often.  My Bad.  The days are flying by and I no longer choose to run in the rat race.  I am getting tired just watching my kids trying to stay ahead of life. I remember sitting in school waiting for the bell that signaled freedom. The day seemed endless.  Now I just blink and the day has gone by and I have accomplished nothing except getting out of bed and eating everything in sight.  I only eat one meal a day because I don't have the time to squeeze in any more.  Ahhhhhhh. the joys of getting older.

Yesterday was a testament to this.  Grand daughter #2 graduated from high school !!  My little baby girl is now 18 years old and headed to college this summer. WHERE HAVE THE YEARS GONE ?????????????  So many memories and it still feels like she was born yesterday.  How is this possible ?   

K had her graduation party this past Sunday. Friends and family. Lots of excitement but not nearly as much as yesterday. I swear that girl was vibrating like a guitar string. She was SO EXCITED.   She spent the last 4 years working hard and getting the full high school experience. She was secretary of the student government for 4 years. She took college level classes and she had a zillion friends.  And FINALLY, here it is . . . The BIG day !  I think I was as excited as she was if that were possible,  

Graduation was at 6 PM at the South Florida Fair Grounds. 500 kids in her graduating class. That is a shit load of kids. But I must say it was extremely well organized and in 2 hours from start to finish we were heading back to the car. With a thousand stops along the way for the girl to take pictures with EVERYONE ! My girl wore her sashes, ropes and medals proudly and didn't stop smiling for one second.  How ir was possible that I enjoyed her graduation more than my children's or my own??  (I know why I enjoyed this graduation more than my own because for the entire duration of MY graduation day I was expecting someone to reach out and stop me because I really didn't have enough classes to graduate.  I HATED high school and to this day have blocked out most memories of those 4 years of agony.)

But here I am. Watching my daughter's daughter walk across that huge stage to get her diploma.  WOW WOW WOW !!!!

By the end of the night the excruciating pain in my feet and legs was nothing. I would do anything for my girls.  I can't tell you how long it has been since I wore new shoes WITH a heel. (That REALLY reminded me of my age.) Of course we walked and stood in lines for hours before, during and after the ceremony.  It was worth every blister, bunion and bruise. (But I DID LOOK GOOD!).  

We had eaten an early dinner/late lunch before the ceremony so we were able to survive the endless parade of graduates crossing the stage and the speeches by students, faculty, school principal and district superintendent.  All of which were thankfully short and almost entertaining at times. But the festivities didn't end there.  K just didn't want the night to end so we went to a local restaurant so she could eat,(at 10 PM). My daughter and I had mocktails, (No alcohol because we both would have fallen asleep.) We all sat and chatted until K's "little" brother almost fell asleep at the table. ((He is 15 and so tall and skinny. But when 10 o'clock rolls around he is DONE !!! )

We all said goodnight and I was home by 10;20 and I am WIDE AWAKE !!!  I tried watching some TV. No luck. I took a hot shower, nothing.  I lay down in bed reading. Nope.  I get up and wander into the kitchen to make a cup of tea with honey and go sit in my favorite recliner. It's dark, it's comfortable, the tea is hot and I have a good book. Still I am not tired !!  THAT is how awesome the day was.  I finally went back to bed at 5 AM but had to get up at 10 for a bone density test at the hospital. (Something I have done every 2 years)  Since my normal night's sleep is TEN hours I was so tired that when I came home from the test I crawled up on the bed and slept for 2 hours.  

I'm feeling great right now but I wonder what tonight has in store for me.  Maybe if I can't sleep tonight I'll have some ice cream at 3 AM to see if that puts me to sleep.. 

Come back tomorrow for the "Weird Stuff" part of this blog.