Last night when I returned home my mail was waiting for me outside the kitchen door. It had been held for 2 months by the post office and then delivered to my door in a large white postal container that was over flowing. I picked up the bin and brought it inside thinking I would go through it later. I didn't get to it until this evening when I took it back outside and sat with the box of mail on one side of my chair and the paper recycling bin on the other. So far in this collection of trash I have received ONE personal card from a friend, 4 bank statements, 2 packages from Amazon and one bill from the water company. The entire remainder of the LARGE postal container is filled with C R A P !!!! That is not to say I have not gotten gifts in this large pile of junk. Or so the organizations who have sent me all this garbage would like me to believe because 4 out of 5 envelopes have written on the outside of them, "YOUR FREE GIFT IS ENCLOSED!" Lucky lucky me . . . I am the recipient of all sorts of free stuff.
Most notable so far is the free ROSE PRAYER PETAL.
This is a first for me. Never in all my years of getting junk mail have I ever received a free Rose Prayer Petal. I do not know what I am supposed to do with a free Rose Prayer Petal other than remove it from its holder because that is what it says. But the fact that the faux "rose petal" made out of some synthetic material makes me even less eager to touch it. Am I supposed to pray to the Prayer Petal? Am I supposed to hold it while I am saying my prayers or do I just stare at it and make wishes like Aladdin's Magic lamp? I am at a loss with this one. Some where there is some genius in marketing working for one of the twelve thousand charities who send me requests for donations who came up with this totally stupid idea. And the organization who bought into this dopey idea is actually thinking that anyone who received this piece of garbage will immediately sit down and write them a huge check?
But this isn't the only "free gift" I have received so far. The pile of crap is growing by the envelope. As of right now I have gotten at least 24 "free" greeting cards, a gold angel coin, 3 nickels, a yellow cross on a key chain, 4 ball point pens, a gift bag, 3 sheets of address labels, two 2020 calendars, 4 note pads and "pet tag" for my dog, (that I do not have). All of these groups are thanking me for donating to their particular organization or charity at some time in the past 74 years of my life.
This is all sent to me so that I, in turn, will feel obligated to send them money. But the joke is on them because my feeling is . . . If they can afford to send me all this crap they must have more money than they know what to do with. If they would stop sending me crap, save themselves the cost of the junk, the postage and the fees they are paying some marketing company to come up with these stupid ideas and then they will have enough money to fund their cause.
That makes total sense to me but apparently I am the only one who has figured this out.
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