Now that the Indie 500 has been run for the year it is now that time of the summer for the Gladstone, MI Lawn Mower 500. It is in full swing, nearing its 12 thousandth lap and there is yet to be a winner. This could go on for hours if someone doesn't run out of gas or oil soon. In this particular race there is no need for tire rotation and rarely is there ever a smash up but that could just happen if the two drivers start to loose focus.
On mower #1 we have Gus, the neighbor boy from down the road. Gus arrived here a couple of hours ago and started the race driving "Old Orange". Old Orange belongs to The Man but he gave Gus permission to use it in order to get the lawn mowed as quickly as possible. The Man did not see the error of this action until it was too late and Old Orange ran out of gas AND oil both at the same time. Naturally, being The Man, these problems were a direct result of the driver and not the owner. The fact that Old Orange is about a bazillion years old does not enter into this equation. Old Orange has been owned and operated by only one person and that person treats his lawn mower better than a lover would treat his woman. The Man rides Old Orange all around the property just to get around. He will ride Old Orange out to the mail box or out to the road to put out the garbage. He and Old Orange are inseparable.
Up until this year The Man did a lot of the mowing but it really is getting to be too much of an effort for him so we have hired a couple of neighbor kids to do the job. Last week Tanner came over on his dad's high tech "zero turn" mower and whipped through the yard in a matter of a couple of hours. This week Tanner was away so Gus got the job of "Lawn Boy". Gus arrived this morning around noon and hopped on Old Orange. (Gus and The Man had discussed this a couple of days ago so the mower was gassed up and ready to go). The entire time Gus was moving The Man was muttering that Gus was going too fast. He wasn't cutting it right. Tanner did a better job. An hour and a half into mowing Old Orange ran out of gas. (Mutter Mutter Mutter!) The Man was not happy. Gus filled the tank and continued his mowing. As he was racing back and forth, up and down The Man kept noting different sounds that he was hearing. "Something is wrong", said The Man. And sure enough a couple of minutes later Old Orange died! This was as much of a crisis as if Old Orange had blown up into a thousand pieces. Gus determined the mower needed oil so out to the garage he and I went to find some oil leaving The Man to continue his muttering about Gus driving too fast. That, of course, was why the motor burned all the oil. Even with the oil added Old Orange just didn't sound right so being the smart boy that Gus is he went home and got his dads mower, Big Red, and continued to work on the yard.
By now The Man was up to a thousand thinking that someone had harmed his precious mower. Naturally he had to grab his oxygen tank and hoses and head out into the yard to work on Old Orange. I swear The Man and Old Orange are in love with each other because after only a matter of seconds Old Orange was purring like a kitten and The Man was happier than a pig in poop.
And so began the Mower 500 !!!
Gus was still whipping around trees and shrubs doing figure eights on Big Red while The Man puttered along on Old Orange making nice straight and orderly lines of mowed grass. It was quite comical to watch.
In the end the law is mowed, sort of. You would think that with the two manly men working on this project it would be done to perfection. NOT !! After 4 hours of mowing Gus left and The Man went into the house to take a nap. That was my chance to get out the weed whacker and finish up all the spots that the two boys had missed.
You have got to love these macho men !
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