YESTERDAY'S HIMICANE

 It was awesome !  After five months of sunny, warm, gorgeous weather we finally got some rain. 

I know I shouldn't be complaining about the absolutely beautiful winter we have had down here but really, it does get a bit boring after a while.  Nothing but sunny skies, warm breezes, green grass and trees . . .  we really need to mix it up every so often. And yesterday provided us with exactly that. 

At about three in the afternoon my phone started yelling at me and the TV started blaring warnings about SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS IN THE AREA. This is never cause for alarm for us because where we live we will not get flooded, we will not have trees falling on our heads and to be perfectly honest I don't trust the National Weather Service because they are all a bunch of alarmists.  So rather then get all pumped up over some wind and rain headed our way we opened all the blinds so we could watch the storm approach.  

IT WAS AWESOME !!!!   

First the sky started getting darker and darker. Then the wind started to whip up and the temperature started to drop. Next the rain began to fall in torrents and I am told there was quarter size hail but we never heard or saw any of that.  It lasted about a half hour and it was better than TV. 

The Man had never witnessed a Himicane so he was entertained as much as I was.  I explained to him that this was a mini version of a Florida Hurricane to which he replied, "If a hurricane is worse than this I'm glad I am not living here during hurricane season".  The Himicane was quite enough for him.

I realize many of you have never even heard of Himicanes because they are not a widely known weather event. Basically they are not strong enough or wild enough or powerful enough to be called Hurricanes. Because like all things female only the very toughest and strongest get the attention.  Himicanes are basically whussy little storms that make noise and blow around a lot of hot air but just don't amount to anything. 

(Are you beginning to get what I'm saying?) 

A Himicane can NEVER come close to a full blown hurricane at her worst. Hurricanes lie in wait and build up massive amounts of fury so that when they finally explode you had better have battened down the hatches and headed for the hills.  Sometimes a hurricane will be building but something happens to defuse it and when that happens everyone involved is delighted to have avoided the storm.  Other times hurricanes will be headed in one direction with all their attention focussed on a particular target but something happens to blow her off course and out to sea so there is no damage at all.  The worst is when a hurricane will suddenly get blown off course so that she makes an unexpected landfall in a totally unexpected place.   No one is ever prepared for that scenario and lives can be lost.  

Try as they may the National Weather Service tries their best to predict Hurricanes.  They do a piss poor job of it but at least they try.

Himicanes aren't even worth thinking about.  

HANDICAPPED SHOPPING

Just to be perfectly clear so you will not think me to be "Politically Incorrect", "Racist" or "White Supremacist"  I use the term "Handicapped" as a golfer would use it.  A player in a game is given a handicap in order to be put on an equal playing field with other golfers.  I have no idea how this "handicap" is determined and I really don't care since I am not a golfer.  

The point being, I have an idea for a new reality show . . .  HANDICAPPED SHOPPING !  

In this game you send a woman into a grocery store with a list of, say, 15 items.  She is set loose to wander the store and find as many of these products as possible.  When she is done she returns to the check out with her cart and the clock stops running.  The first thing that is done upon her return is to take her blood pressure. I guarantee it will be as low as a monk in a Zen garden. Next, the items in her cart are counted to see how many of the items she actually found, (all), and how many additional items she has managed to pick up along the way, (three hundred and seventy two). This second number is the key to how many points she is awarded. She will get points for finding the things on the list and then is given additional points for every extra item that was not on her list. 

That is Phase One of the game.

Phase Two is done several weeks later.  Our female shopper returns to the same store and is given a different shopping list containing a certain number of items.  The difference this time is that she is now accompanied by her husband.  Husband is not given a list, he is just along for the ride because HE IS THE HANDICAP !      Husband and wife are set loose in the store to shop and once they return to the checkout the clock stops.  Points are taken away for every minute under the woman's previous time. Points are also taken away for every item missing from her cart. Points are added for any additional items that were not on the list but this rarely happens.  Also, as in shopping spree number One, the wife's blood pressure is taken and an ambulance is called because her BP will probably be forty points over normal, her eyes will be bulging and her hands will have to be pried from the list because she is clutching it so tightly in order to keep from slapping the shit out of her husband.  

WOMEN DO NOT LIKE TO SHOP WITH THEIR HUSBANDS.  Sorry boys but it's a fact !  I know this from personal experience. MOST women go shopping to relax.  It is called RETAIL THERAPY. We enter a store and zone out into a mellow world of color lining the aisles. Our eyes glaze over and all thoughts and worries cease to exist.  We may have a shopping list but we NEVER come out of a store with only the items on that list.  We graze through the merchandise and pick and choose what we want and what we find appealing to us at that particular moment. (The old saying of, "Never sop when you are hungry" is so true.  When I go to any store hungry I WILL purchase food that catches my eye.  Because most stores, not just grocery stores ALWAYS have the cookie and candy displays at the checkout I never go home hungry.) 

Shopping is in our DNA . . . remember the cave women were the "gatherers" while the men were the "hunters".  There are rare women who do not like to shop and my sympathy goes out to them.  The joy of mindless wandering up and down aisles of "stuff" is like spending an hour meditating.  It is my happy place and I REALLY resent when my "Happy Place" is invaded by anyone, especially a person of the opposite sex.

 Men just do NOT have the ability to chill so a trip to a store is like a mission to Mars. All systems must be "GO" and the detailed list of second by second actions must be followed in order for the mission to succeed.  They are focused only on the details on the list and the completion of the mission in record time where as a woman goes on her mission to see the sights and enjoy the ride. 

All this came to my attention yesterday when I was sitting in the front of Publix waiting to get my second Covid vaccine. As I sat there no less than 5 couples came into the store, none of them looking happy.  They were all older so I would assume they had all been together for many many many many years. The wives had the list, the husbands were all pushing the carts. following along like little puppies that would soon turn into vicious, angry Tasmanian Devils  as soon as the wife put something into the cart that is not on the list.  The words, "Do we REALLY need that?",  "I thought you had two of those at home", "Don't buy THAT, this one is cheaper", and of course, "But it's not on the list!" all echo up and down the aisles of the grocery store.  I have even seen men go so far as to remove something from the cart when the woman isn't looking.  Let me tell you THAT one action is extremely dangerous and only the most daring and brave men dare to attempt it.  It can result in permanent bodily harm or even death especially if the man has been a supreme pain in the ass up to that point.  

One of the couples that I observed yesterday were particularly entertaining. They entered the store together, her with the list, him with the cart. They got no further than the entry way when she stopped to check out the Easter Lilies that were on sale. He continued on a few dozen feet when he realized she was no longer with him.  He abruptly stopped as warning signals started flashing in his brain that the wife was already going "off the list".  As he approached her she deftly swung THREE huge Easter Lily plants into the cart.  This obviously was too much for the husband to handle so early in the day so he very bravely and stupidly said, "THREE !  What do we need THREE for?".  I'm totally impressed that he didn't realize the error of his ways and either duck or run off down the nearest aisle. He just stood there and low and behold she put ONE plant back.   I guess this compromise was a common thing and they both knew how to play the game.  As soon as the one lily was removed from the cart the man took off at warp speed down the dairy aisle leaving the wife with no options but to go get another cart for herself or to hurry on down aisle #4 to catch up with the man.

I really wanted to wait around until they checked out but I had my own list to shop for except I had left my list in the car so I had to shop from memory.   I ended up with eleven items in my cart, only two of which were on my list.    I have to go back to Publix today to pick up the remainder of my list.  

And then some . . . .

ARE YOU N U T S. ???? !!!!!!

 WING  NUTS . . . .  That is what got me blogging today.  Lord help me but there are times, (many many times), that I just have to wonder just WHAT the Hell I am doing here.  

OK . . . starting from the beginning,  a couple of days ago I am having trouble sleeping. Waking up at 3AM with my brain racing from one thing to another and all hope of sleep shattered.  I get up for a couple of hours, putter around the house doing quiet things and then finally falling back into bed for another couple of hours sleep.  Not a good idea for someone like me who requires at least twenty hours sleep a night or I turn into the Beast from Hell.  

Once I morph into my Beast persona you REALLY do NOT want to be in the same house as me so The Man has been challenged to refrain from digging out his pistol and putting me and him out of my misery.  In my Beast stage I have zero sense of humor and zero patience with anyone and everyone.  It has been a rough week for all inhabitants of this house.  Being in this state of mind I purposely do not blog. NO one needs to be subjected to that language.

THANKFULLY . . . I have a stash of drugs for just such sleep challenged occasions.  (I"m not talking anything illegal, just an Ambien for those times when I am desperate.). The Tylenol PM just wasn't doing anything for me so last night I resorted to the "good stuff" and fell asleep at 11:00 PM and didn't wake up once until 8:30 this morning.  I feel GREAT !!  Amazing what a good night's sleep can do.

I mention all this because if I had not gotten such a good night's sleep last night there is a VERY good possibility that The Man would be dead. 

We had a good morning, got a bunch of doctor appointments cancelled, took care of some other on line business without throwing the computer out the window and even made some plans to see Kyle and Bridget in May on our way back to Michigan. The Man was working with me, probably because after the past three days he was still walking on egg shells for fear of setting me off. Knowing I will see my girl Abby will make the return to MI and leaving the FL grand kids just a little easier.  

After all our "business" was taken care of The Man and I headed out to his car to return something to Amazon over at our local Kohls.  We have not had an adventure, (if this can be considered adventure), in quite some time so once The Man got into the car his brain started working.  As we are pulling out of our parking lot The Man decided we need to go to the tire store to get air in the car tires. Normally if I need air in my tires I go to the gas station and do it myself but even this small task is too much for The Man. He actually did consider this option because I could put the air in the tires for him until he realized you have to pay for air.  That was good for a ten minute rant about paying for air. I totally agree it is stupid. And so off we drove to the tire store where he bought his tires.  Naturally I had to get out of the car to ask the guy to stop what he was doing to fill our tires with air.  I HATE having to do things like this but the guy was real nice and I gave him a tip.

As we pull out of the tire store The Man now decides we NEED to go to an auto supply store because he needs TWO wing nuts for the battery on the RV.  The RV is in Michigan.  We will not be doing anything with the RV for at least a month or two. But we NEED wing nuts TODAY !!!!  

OK, I get it. There are plenty of times when I get something in my head and I want to do it NOW. So I figured, "What the Hey", I will go into the automotive store and get The Man some wing nuts.  Just to clarify, I HATE any store that is geared to men.  Car mechanics, automotive stores, hardware stores . . . they are all the same because they ALWAYS talk down to women because we do not know what the hell we are doing and they know it.  But for The Man I can suck it up and do this.  As I am getting out of the car at the FIRST auto parts store The Man says, "I only need TWO wing nuts so don't get a package of any more than that!"  Now you and I know full well there is NOT going to be a package of two freaking wing nuts but that's what The Man wants so off I go.  

The Gods were kind to me today . . . as I walked into the store there was a woman behind the counter and she asked me what I was looking for.  She told me they probably didn't have JUST wing nuts but we walked to the back of the store to check. Sure enough, no wing nuts. I could buy a whole kit for changing the battery connections but not just the wing nuts.  She suggested I try a hardware store which was EXACTLY what I was thinking when The Man brought this whole Wing Nut issue up in the first place. I returned to the car and passed the message on to The Man who had decided that we HAD to go to an automotive store, not a hardware store.  AND we HAD to get the wing nuts TODAY !

At automotive store #2 I was told the exact thing after taking a walk all the way to the back of the store with the nice man behind the counter.  "Go to a hardware store".  Once again I returned to the car with the message and once again The Man decided only an automotive store would have what he needed.  It was now an hour after leaving the house and I still had not gotten to Kohles so I doubled down on my stubborn streak and reminded The Man that we did not need these wing nuts until we got to Michigan in a month so it REALLY COULD WAIT !  I think it was at this point that he remembered just who he was dealing with here and if not careful his life could be in danger.  

We went to Kohles . . .  

AND . . .  To reward me for not killing The Man today or any day this past week the Gods gave me a gift. On my way to the back of Kohles I passed a lovely cream colored blazer hanging on a sale rack. It caught my eye so I decided I would check it out on my way back out to the car.  Retuning Amazon items at Kohles is awesome because not only is it super easy but you get a 25% off coupon for anything in the store for the next couple of days.  BINGO !!  I stopped at the blazer that had a $60 price tag on it.  The sale sticker said it was reduced to $18 !!!!!  I tried it on, it looked fabulous and with my 25% off coupon I am now the very happy owner of a beautiful cream blazer that I purchased for $14 !!!!!!!

Just think, if I had killed The Man I would have been in jail and missed out on this great sale.  

I NEED MORE CARPE DIEM IN MY LIFE

I am coming to the realization that I am no longer living in the past, (thanks to all those years of therapy). Rather, I am constantly looking ahead at the future planning on what is coming up next when I SHOULD be living for "today".    

My calendar hangs on the kitchen wall looking like a botched Jackson Pollock painting.  Every box for the days of the month is filled with notes, scribbles, arrows and lines, all of which are color coded. I DO have a system, insane and colorful as it may be.  Each day contains something that either The Man or I are scheduled to do and in order to help keep our appointments straight all his dates are highlighted in blue while mine are highlighted in pink, (naturally). But then we have the appointments for the both of us together so those are highlighted in green. There are some yellow highlights on there also but I have long since forgotten what that denotes.  Without this highly visible calendar I would be lost. I have all these dates noted on my phone and some I even have "alarms" on so I will be reminded a day or an hour before but it is the kitchen wall calendar that we constantly refer to.  

Let me rephrase that,  It is the kitchen wall calendar that I refer to. The Man is oblivious of the wall no less anything hanging on it.  There are the rare occasions when we are perched at the kitchen counter eating dinner and The Man will glance across at the calendar and question if he has anything going on in the next few days.  I HAVE explained the color code system to him but it still does not register with him that any blue notes are pertaining to him.  

All this being said I have realized that I am living in the future, constantly looking ahead of things that are coming up. As a result of always looking ahead my life is FLYING by at the speed of a super sonic jet breaking the sound barrier. It was just yesterday that I was 32 years old and suddenly I am about to turn 76!  Hell, it was just yesterday that I was celebrating my 75th birthday. Where did this year from Hell disappear to?  You would think that this past year would have dragged by with our quarantines, lock downs and fears but instead here we are a full year later wondering where all those days went ?  

The Man and I came back to Florida last October and I rejoiced at the thought of all the months ahead to be here with my family and friends.  Michigan is wonderful but it is the people in Florida whom I love that I miss the most. The anticipation of spending seven months here kept me going all summer up in Michigan. Every day I would wake up and tell myself only "three more months", or "twenty seven more weeks", or "36 more days" until I returned to Florida. Yet here we are heading into April with the trip back to Michigan looming on the horizon only a month away.  What happened to the winter ????  

This morning I decided I needed to stop thinking ahead. All the anticipation and angst of what is coming  is making my life pass by way too fast.  There are days when I wake up and tell myself, "I just have to get through today" and then things will quiet down.  In reality we all know things never quiet down. What I have to start doing is when I wake up I should savor the fact that I am still alive and just enjoy that moment. Maybe by doing this the days will seem longer and I will appreciate the moments more.  I mean, how come the hours DRAG by when you are sick or in pain?  Sitting in a hospital room staring at a clock on the wall watching those hands move ever so slowly can drive you nuts but when I am trying to get out the door for a fun day with the grand kids I never have enough time to get everything done.  

Carpe Diem . . .  Seize the Day . . .  I really must start doing that more often.  I'll be sure to let you know how that works out  . . .   If I have the time !

MOVING TO MARS

 I'm moving to MARS . . . .  Oh wait,  if Men are from Mars I don't want any part of that planet so maybe I'll move to Venus, or Saturn or even Pluto, even though it's not actually a planet any more.  The point being, I want off this insane planet because everyone has totally and completely lost their minds. The fact that Pluto was once a planet and now its not is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Fox News has a name for it . . .  CANCEL CULTURE . . . it's a form of "Now you see it, Now you don't".  Things that we have known, loved, accepted and believed in are no longer "PROPER"  so they are cancelled. 

I mean, banning Dr. Seuss books . . . REALLY ???????  Banning cartoons because they are stereotyping certain cultural groups . . .  REALLY ??????????    Have we all gone insane ???  The answer to that is 

                                                            YES !!!!!!!!

But no one uses that word any more either.  Does anyone say "Yes" any more ?  It's "NO", you can't do that, and "NO" you can't say this. I am sick of where we are headed with all this nonsense.  

But I can't complain too loudly because it is all the fault of our own genius way of living.  Think about it . When was the last time you ironed anything ?  When was the last time you repaired anything ? When was the last time you took the time to redo something that didn't work the first time ?   

When I was growing up we did not live in a disposable society.  We kept things forever and fixed them when they broke. We would buy something with CASH, (remember cash?) that we had saved up over years. Money was set aside each week in a small white envelope in a drawer in the desk or secretary or dresser. When the envelope contained enough cash to purchase an item, car, refrigerator, washing machine, you went out and bought what you needed.  If you didn't have the case you didn't buy the item. Once you bought something you took care of it.  Things were built to last decades. If it broke either you fixed it or had a friend fix it. The same thing went for clothing.  When you bought an item of clothing you took care of it to keep it looking as new as possible for as long as possible.  You ironed shirts and pants, you washed things by hand so the washer wouldn't beat up the fabric. If it got a hole or lost a button you got out the sewing kit and repaired it. When was the last time you sewed on a button ?????  Ironed a shirt??????  "darned" a sock ??????   Does anyone EVER do these things anymore ?  I remember my mother teaching me how to sew on a button and to mend a hole in a sock.  Now we just throw it away and buy a new one.  

It is only natural that we would progress from throwing out old items to throwing out our history.  Tear down that statue because we don't like it anymore.  Throw out that book because it offends some one, get rid of TV shows and classic movies, (Gone With The Wind is under attack ? SERIOUSLY????). 

This dangerous way of thinking is so so very wrong.  The past happened !  We don't throw it away because you didn't like something that happened a hundred years ago. You look at it more and more and learn from those mistakes.  That's what evolution is.  GOD did NOT make us perfect. He gave us the ability to try to be perfect but being human we don't always get it right. Because we are human we screw up over and over but we learn from those screw-ups and we try to make it better.  Keep the mistakes front and center in your brain so you remember not to make them again.  The idea of erasing things we don't like is ludicrous !!!  How the Hell do you expect to evolve if you don't try and fail till you get it right?  How long did it take Oog the caveman to figure out how to make a fire, invent the wheel, kill a wooly mammoth ??   He didn't throw out the round rock the first time it didn't roll, he kept at it and learned from his mistakes.  

Unfortunately no one is learning SHIT from the mistakes we have been making for the past century.  And because we aren't learning anything we are now allowing idiots to destroy everything from the past. I am soooooooooooo PISSED and frightened by this trend. If you find illustrations in a Dr. Seuss book to be offensive then don't read the "F" ing book.  Some of us LIKE Dr. Seuss and some of us have used Dr. Seuss as a learning tool to educate our children about the differences of people through out the world.  

NEWS FLASH . . .  NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE THE SAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is NOT "racist" to note that people come in different forms.  It is FACT !!!!!!   Do you remember educating your children to the fact that some people are Handicapped ?  You took your kid to the store and met a person in a wheel chair. Your child stared at them and asked in a loud voice, "Mommy, What's wrong with that person?". And so you took the time to explain that not everyone had legs that worked like theirs. You took time to explain that the person in the wheel chair was still a person, just like you, but had to use a wheel chair to move around.  It didn't change who they were inside.  HOW in this day and age has that changed to being offensive ?  The first time you met a person from another culture wearing a different type of clothing or looking different from what your child was used to were you racist to explain to your child that we live in a very big wonderful world where there are all different sorts of people?  No !  You were a responsible parent educating your child.  We may look different, we may speak different languages, we may eat different foods and wear different clothes but we are all God's Children and we love our neighbors no matter what they look or sound like.  Even when they prove themselves to be "A" holes.  You don't need to look or sound different to be an Ass. That comes from a choice that person has made and if they are an Ass you don't have to play with them.  

Come on people . . .   step up and stand up.   Stop the bull shit.    Stop calling everything racist.  

Stop the world . . .  I want to get off.   

TYPES "A", 'B', & "C"

I have come to realize there are three basic types of Senior Citizens. Type "A" are the over achievers. Their calendars are filled to bursting with daily activities.  They are up at dawn and out the door by      7:00 AM  to begin their busy days. 

Years ago when Husband had just retired we bumped into a couple that we had taught with years ago.  They had retired a few years earlier, moved to Florida to a retirement community like the Villages and seemed to be very happy with their new lives. When we suggested we find a day and time to get together the wife pulled out her pocket calendar that was the size of Websters Unabridged Dictionary. She began flipping through pages that were filled with scribbles and notes of things they were scheduled to do.  Their days were filled with activities like golf, shuffle board, dance class, cooking classes, water aerobics, spin class, pottery, theater group, pickle ball, trips to the casino, concerts, Bridge and Mahjong to name a few.  After ten minutes of flipping calendar pages we gave up and never saw them again. Clearly they are TYPE "A" senior citizens. No moss grows between their toes so to speak and they are never at a loss for something to do.  

Moving along to our Type "B" senior citizen we have The Man.  The Man does not own a calendar. (That's what he has me for.). Type "B" seniors get up anywhere between 8:00 AM and 10:00 AM. They shuffle out into the kitchen in their PJ's and slippers, barely stay upright long enough to make a cup of coffee and then sit down to read the paper, check their e-mail and see what is new on Facebook. After about two hours they are ready to move over to the couch to turn on the TV to see what is new in the news.  An hour or so after that it may be time to get dressed and head out to the one or two doctor appointments that are scheduled for the week.  Once back from the appointment, having stopped at some fast food establishment for a nourishing lunch of a burger and fries, it's time for the afternoon siesta that can last anywhere between one to three hours.  (It's exhausting walking out to the car and back)  When waking from the nap it's time to move out onto the lanai for a drink and an hour or so of sitting watching the squirrel run across the screen roof.  By now it's time to move back inside to catch News Max at 4:00 PM, Fox News at 5:00PM, local news at 6:00 PM, Wheel of Fortune at 7:00 PM and then three or more hours of Netflix, Hockey or Football depending on the season or day.  By 11:00 PM it's time for showers and bed so he can be rested to begin the cycle all over again.  In the case of our Type "B" senior citizen there is no calendar but their days are pretty much the same routine day after day with slight variations of which doctor is being visited at what time. 

And then there's me,  Type "C" to be sure.  My life can be described as a "Crap Shoot", a game of chance in which you never know what will happen.    I can wake up anywhere between 4:00 AM and 10:00 AM,  but when ever I wake up I am fired up and ready to go. Some days that fire lasts for hours and some days the fire burns out before I even make it out of the bedroom.  I never know how I will be feeling or where the day will take me.  Don't misunderstand . . . I HAVE a calendar and it is filled with appointments for The Man and myself but there are so many unforeseen factors that enter into my days.  When I wake up filled with energy I can get into all sorts of projects like gardening, baking, laundry, cleaning, visiting with friends and family or going out shopping. The days that I wake up dragging my butt I can spend hours doing puzzles, playing video games or writing. Some days I wake up with my mind racing with ideas for the day but then I fizzle out and nothing gets done. Each day is a complete surprise to me and I LOVE IT THAT WAY !!   How boring to have a ROUTINE and never be surprised with an adventure popping up unexpectedly.  I may not get much accomplished as far as keeping an immaculate house or having a garden with no weeds but I sure do enjoy each and every day. 

Every night when I go to bed I never know if I will sleep through the entire night or be up every two hours to wander through the dark. It's amazing how I can find something to entertain myself at 2:30 AM on those nights that I can't sleep.  I love the surprise of waking up at 7:00 AM to realize I DID sleep through the night. If I can't get my self back to sleep for another couple of hours I do what I did this morning . . . I start thinking about what I can "get into" for the day. This morning I found my brain zooming in on blogging and so here I am sharing my nonsense with you. 

I do still have some energy today so I think I'll finish this up and get doing something productive.  I have no idea what that may be but I'm sure it will be fun.  

 

SAY THE SECRET WOID

 Remember the old Groucho Marx show ?  If you do you are dating yourself for sure! For those of you who don't remember it was a game show called, You Bet your Life",  hosted by Groucho Mars back in the late 40's.  Groucho would have guests come on and answer questions to win money. Part of the show included a SECRET WORD, (pronounced WOID). At the beginning of the show a duck, (not a real one), would be lowered down for the audience to see, and in its beak was a card showing the secret word for that day.  When the contestants came out on stage the duck was removed and the audience listened carefully to see if in the course of the show a contestant would unwittingly say the secret word.  If they did bells and whistles sounded and confetti fell from above. The reward was $100 which was a huge amount at that time.  It didn't happen often but we viewers were always on the edge of our seats in anticipation.

This is all brought to mind because of yesterdays frustrating and curse word filled interaction with the Florida SunPass web site.  As usual the encounter was initiated by The Man.

 Several weeks ago The Man was notified by email that his Sun Pass account would be terminated at the end of February unless he up dated his credit card information.  Previous to this email The Man had been notified by his credit card company that his card was about to expire so they were sending him a new one.  This is a HUGE issue because it involves the United States Postal Service, which we are coming to realize is is dire need of a major overhaul. (Mail goes missing on a regular basis around here and letters sent from my address to my grand kids who live a mile away either never arrive or take two months to make the trip.) 

Upon getting the SunPass notification The Man contacted his credit card company who assured him, "the card was in the mail".  Two weeks later no card had yet arrived and SunPass was about to expire. (This is not a huge issue right now because The Man goes no where but when we make our trek back to MI in a couple of months we will need the pass working. Because The Man's home address is Michigan the new credit card was supposedly sent to the Michigan address where it should have been forwarded to Florida. (At least that is what would have happened in a perfect world.). A month later and the card STILL has not gotten here.  Soooooooo, The Man places a second call to his credit card company and they issue him another card, same number, new expiration date but it will be sent to the Florida address.  Two weeks later THAT card has not yet arrived.  BUT . . .  the credit card company has given the man the new expiration date and security code so he can now go on the SunPass web site, open his account and update his information.   SIMPLE . . .       NOT !!!!

And so we arrive at yesterday morning"s debacle.  Because we are A MAN we can not handle any of this computer web site stuff on our own so The Man comes to me and asks me to assist him in updating his information.  Being an idiot, I agree.  In we go to Computer Central and I attempt to log onto his SunPass account.  At first it actually worked and I foolishly though how easy this was going to be.  HA !!!!  In their infinite wisdom Sun Pass has upgraded their system from a four digit "Pin" number to a password. And of course the password must meet certain requirements . . .  "No less than 8 characters, including capital and small letters, a number AND a special symbol, as in hashtag, exclamation point or question mark." But before you can do all this you have to put in your old password . . .  except we don't HAVE an old password . . . all we have is a PIN number.  By now there are many curse words flying and I am about hit The Man over the head with the damn computer.  FINALLY . . .   I think I have gotten the job done and we can log in to his account only to find that because I was working on MY computer I have now changed MY password and we still can't get into his account NOR can we now access my account because it is not recognizing ANY of the twelve million passwords we have just been trying to get the account to accept. 

I have NO idea if I even still HAVE an account with SunPass, no less how to log into it !

And still we have not gotten to the point of getting The Man's information updated so he can use the SunPass when we travel.  That was the point we started at this morning when I gave The Man a phone number to call SunPass and try to straighten out this account thing. I foolishly thought he would call, get his password straightened out and then add his new credit card number. SILLY ME !!   He did make the call but simply put a different credit card number on his account. This was all done via automated help. Why he did not do this a month ago when the whole credit card issue first reared it's ugly head I have no idea.  What I DO know is that in a year from now when this credit card expires I will NOT offer to help him change any information.   

As for my SunPass account . . .   who the hell knows ?  Maybe if I say the secret woid I'll win a million dollars.