IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE !

How many  times a day do you tell yourself that something will only take a minute or have someone say that to you when asking a favor of you ?  It is one of those wonderful little catch phrases that are nothing but a HUGE LIE !

I tell myself things will "only take a minute" about a hundred times a day and then find myself into something that has me working on it for hours, days, weeks or even months.  The old "I'll just stop and do this real quick" lie we tell ourselves when we know for a fact this is something I REALLY shouldn't start right now because I am going to get side tracked by it and not get another thing done for the rest of the day.

But then there are those times when I honestly believe something will "only take a minute". Really! This is so simple, I can just whip this off and be on to something else in a matter of minutes !  HA !
Like the button I have been meaning to sew on to my new pair of shorts. It's just a matter of cutting the button off from one place and moving it over an inch and sewing it back on.  How Hard can that be ?
I have only owned this new pair of shorts for about 5 years. THAT'S how hard it can be ! Well, to be honest, I did buy them when they were a little tight but the price was right and "I'm going to loose 100 pounds." Because they were a little tight I didn't hang them in my closet with my clothing that actually fit but rather put them on the shelf. When I gained 10 pounds rather than loose 10 the shorts got moved from the shelf into a box under my bed. And there they had sat for a couple of years. Since H died I have been pulling things out of closets and drawers and down sizing my Stuff. I found 2 boxes full of clothing I had not been able to wear in years and among them were these shorts. I tried them on and surprise, surprise they actually fit. Except for one small button that held a skirt type over lay in the front of the shorts they looked great. I just needed to move that little button an inch and I would have some new skorts to add to my wardrobe. So the shorts went from the box under my bed to the rocking chair in the corner. (My "to do" rocker.) There they sat along with some things that needed ironing and there they stayed for about 2 months. Until today when I actually told myself, "Why don't I just sew that button on and then I can wear the shorts today. IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE!"
An hour and twenty minutes later I have just finished my project and am so exhausted from sewing on a button I had to sit down to rest.

It was a classic case of "rolling snow ball".  First I had to find my sewing box. I spent about 30 minutes in the garage looking for that when I finally realized I had efficiently moved the sewing box into my closet. DUH !  Got the sewing box out and found some matching thread but couldn't find a needle. What sort of sewing box doesn't have needles ?????  I knew I had some but where the heck were they? (Obviously these are things I have NOT organized yet!) Back to the garage and another 15 minute search for the missing needles which were stored with my sewing machine. (They are now moved to the sewing box.) Okay, pants, button, needle, thread . . . . now all I had to do was put the button on the pants. Except that I couldn't get the damn thread into the damn needle !  I tried everything but the eye on that needle was so small not even a dust mote could get through it. So the search resumed for the little piece of thin metal with a loop of wire on the end that helps thread the needle. I figured it HAD to be in the sewing box so after I had dumped out EVERYTHING there it was on the very bottom. STUCK to the bottom in a pool of something sticky. That lead to me WASHING out the sewing box, re-grouping everything that was to go back into it and organizing it all into a some what neater mess.

An hour and fifteen minutes have now passed and I STILL have NOT sewed the damn button onto my shorts. That took all of about 2 minutes, tops !

I think I now know why we live in a disposable society. It just takes too long to fix things! It's easier to throw them out and go buy new. I could have been to the mall and back with a new pair of shorts in the time it took me to sew on a button !

HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW ?

Did I tell you about my next door neighbor stopping over last week ?  I was just settling in after a busy day, got comfy, (you girls know what that means, off with the bra!) and had dinner cooking on the stove when my door bell rang. NO ONE ever comes to my door unless it is a delivery so I gave a quick thought to just how low I was hanging and figured I was OK to open the door.  There stood my neighbor, tears in her eyes saying, "Well, we have something in common." I immediately knew she meant her husband had died so I invited her in, gave her a stiff vodka and apple juice on the rocks and sat down to hear her tale.

She and her husband are renting the house next door and have been there for about 4 years. We have never shared more than a hello in all that time, probably because both of us were busy taking care of husbands. Gerry used to speculate all sorts of tall tales about why we never saw this couple out and about. He would keep track of the few and far between cars in their drive way and also would keep track of how often they missed garbage day and put their trash out on the wrong day.  Ger was quite entertained by these two neighbors and quickly established, (from the items in their recycle bin), that they drank A LOT !  The word in the neighborhood was that they were both in their 80's and had moved here from one of the wealthier communities near by.

And now I am sitting in my living room with a sobbing widow who I really don't know and I am learning way more than I ever needed or wanted to know.
It seems that my neighbors were married for 58 years, she came from Brooklyn, just a few blocks away from where Ger grew up and he came from Queens, not all that far from where I grew up.  They met young, married quickly and partied on Long Island with the well to do but not so famous folks. They moved often and never had children. It seems they also spent every cent they had on the party circuit and never saved for a rainy day or retirement. And now, 77 year old neighbor, (she let her age slip), has buried her 89 year old husband and is left with NOTHING !  And I do mean nothing !  They rent the house and she says she won't be able to afford to stay there. She drives an older car, has no retirement, (even though she worked for years and years), had no life insurance on her husband who also had no retirement so her only income is her Social Security check.

How could you let that happen ??  Did she never lie in bed at night thinking how she could survive without this man she married? Had she never considered that he might die or leave her? Had she never thought about leaving him?  Is she not human ?

I can not believe there are women out there who are so dependent on their husbands that they have no idea what their financial situation is. That just blows my mind!  For my entire marriage I always handled the money and had a contingency plan in case husband got sick of me and threw me out. Thank God he never did but I think I could have survived if he had. I wouldn't be living in Paradise like I am but I could have survived.

As for my neighbor, I haven't seen her since she stopped in,  although I know she is still there because the garbage was out on the wrong day and her news papers keep getting brought in. I think I'll give her some space in case she is thinking about moving in with me.

MISS CATH- REAN

I totally understand how people mangle my last name but how the heck do you mess up Catherine ?

When I was a kid I hated my name, I wanted to be called Alice. (I was a huge fan of ALICE IN WONDERLAND.) But I put up with Cathie. (Note it is CathIE, NOT CathY.  My mother said I was a Cathie with an IE because there is no "Y" in Catherine.  Although there are the existing Cathyrnes or Kathyrnes of the world but I was not to be one of them.) Alas I am not exotic but I am not common either. And I am not Alice ! Nor am I KATH REAN which is the name given me by the woman who just called. Oddly enough she WAS able to pronounce my last name, which is a killer for many folks but she screwed up Catherine.

Who are these people who make these phone calls? They have got to have lived in caves in the highest mountains of Tibet only to have climbed down the mountain, crossed rushing rivers, sailed a raft across the ocean to reach America and been snatched up by some telemarketing company. I haven't checked lately but I bet if I check the want adds there are companies who specifically target those folks who can not speak English. WHY ? It is bad enough when you call tech support that the guy can't speak English, but you expect that! All the English speaking computer nerds are locked In a room making their first billion designing  computer programs that will change the world or ones that will figure out how to win the lottery.  But when I call my local town hall I really would like to speak English with some one I can understand. If I travel to France I expect to have to try to use some of my high school French. If I am in Italy I will attempt to make myself understood with sign language but when I am in my own country why aren't people speaking ENGLISH?

It's not even that some of these people are speaking a different language, they just are not speaking English English. (As I am sure folks from England say about us Americans all the time,) but living in America we like to give opportunities to one and all and who else would want the job of a telemarketer except the person who apparently never knew anyone named Catherine. Now if I was a Bobbie Jo Sue or a Kneesha they probably would have gotten the pronunciation correct.

EEYORE LIVES

The characters from Winnie The Pooh have always lived in my mind and heart.  I don't remember when I first discovered them but they have been with me from some of my youngest memories. I softly shared them with my children and all the children I taught. I'm sure none of these children remember much of Pooh but I was always fond of singing, "Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey, Buzz Buzz Buzz, I wonder why he does".  It's a "ditty" that stuck in my head from ages ago and remains there still. That along with the poem, "They're changing the guard at Buckingham Palace, Christopher Robin went down with Alice . . .  " I can still, today, recite the first verse.

My kids did not have Winnie The Pooh stuffed animals nor did they have Pooh and friends decorating their nursery walls when they were babies but to this day I have Eeyore sitting on my bed. I found him somewhere years and years ago and I HAD to have him. Besides his buttoned on tail, sad eyes and droopy ears he emits a "sigh" when hugged. He has been my favorite "stuffed" companion through the years. (Aside from Sammy Lamby who finally disintegrated about 30 years ago. Now THAT was a well loved stuffed animal.  Sammy came to me when I was 3 and had my tonsils out and I never let him go until our tearful good-by sometime back in the 80's.) Eeyore has sort of replaced Sammy in my life although I don't carry him around nearly as much as I did Sammy.

Today as I was talking with a Florida Friend, (who needs to be distinguished from my BFF's in NY because NO ONE will ever replace the love I have for Sharon and Jeanne!!!!!) my friend wondered why I remain friendly with people who are "Downers".  You know those people in your life who are just plain negative !  No matter what is going on in the world they twist it and turn it to be something that brings them down. You can be telling them about the most beautiful bird you had singing in your yard and they will tell you how the damn birds wake them up every morning. They will complain about the NOISE of the fountain, the annoyance of the gardeners working in the yard, (They are working in my yard so I don't have to be pulling weeds in 90 degree weather!!!). The Eeyors of the world will find a down side to an ice cream sundae !  I'm talking here about the pessimists, the grouches, the glass half empty type of folks.  Eeyore is always feeling SAD !  But he lives in the Thousand Acre Woods and has the BEST friends EVER ! Kanga and Roo, Piglet and Owl, Christopher Robin and my all time favorite TIGGER !!!  If ever there was a character I could identify with it is Tigger.   "He's bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, Full of fun, fun, fun." I really would like to think that I am like Tigger. And yet I do LOVE Eeyore in spite of all his woes.

I guess it just takes all kinds to make the world but if you think about it . . .  wouldn't you REALLY rather be Tigger ?

SHOW TIME !

The things we do for our kids and grand kids . . . .  Grand ma was up at SEVEN A.M. this morning to get into the car and drive an hour to Fort Lauderdale to see Smith and his fellow pre-schoolers perform in the end of year production !   It was worth the hour and a half of stop and go rush hour traffic, (Yes, we have rush hour traffic in Florida!) the getting up early and the lack of sleep just to see the 5 or 6 minutes of these little three and four year olds singing and dancing their hearts out !

I arrived perfect timing to meet Kristen in the parking lot of the school.  We were smuggled in a back door by a couple of Kent's students and escorted up to Kent's class room where we had a quick reunion with the kids I had met at the zoo on Tuesday.  Then the fill in teacher arrived so Kent could escape for a half hour or so to go see Smith perform. We went down to the "auditorium" where our reserved FRONT ROW seats awaited us. (It pays to know people who work in the school!) About 2 minutes after we were seated the show began with Smith's class in all their glory!  THEY WERE FANTASTIC AND HYSTERICAL !  Each one totally into the music out performing each other.  It was a lively 2 songs filled with laughter and smiles by the waving participants. Do you know a preschooler is totally incapable of NOT waving to mom or dad ?  Once Smith's class finished the curtain closed only to open a minute later with class # 2 set and ready to go with their songs. Each class was dressed differently, one wearing tie dyed shirts and white pants, another with paint splatter tee shirts. Smith's "costume" was jeans and a dark blue shirt. There apparently was some difficulty getting Smith to wear the jeans since all he ever wears is shorts but mom and dad held strong and the boy fit in just great.
It's amazing the difference a year made because last year Smith was the kid on stage who just stood with his head hanging down not moving an inch.  This year the pictures show just how much fun this boy had!

A GREAT time was had by all and I'm still smiling.

Yesterday Finn attended his three year old class end of year ceremony up in Maryland.  I'm including his picture just because it is too good not to share !

FINN

SMITH

Hand movements too !

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WHO'S LAUGHING NOW ?

Once again I have to tell you that I am proof that God has a great sense of humor.  Although the fact that I have not dropped dead already does say otherwise.

The other night as I was falling asleep I was chatting with THE LORD and telling Him just how great I was feeling.  Not so much physically but mentally and spiritually.  I am calm and at peace with everything. I thanked God for that blessing and my many, many other blessings and gave special thanks for this sense of well being.  No anxiety, no depression, no worry. Just plain happiness and joy at being alive and well.  I thanked God for my happiness and asked Him to please keep the devil from realizing what a good place I was in. And God said, "OK Catherine, I'm glad you realize your blessings and I'm happy to hear you say 'thank you'." (I didn't really hear God say this, I'm just imagining that's what He would have said. I'm not completely crazy yet. )

Then the next day arrived by way of a ringing telephone. And God began to chuckle. It was someone calling about the refinancing of my house, asking for some obscure paper that I SHOULD have "in my files".  Has this person ever SEEN my files?  Obviously NOT!  Oh, I have lovely files filling an entire desk drawer, AND 2 file cabinet drawers in the closet and 4 boxes in the garage. FILES did you say, you want me to find something in the files ??????  And God began to laugh.
I set to work to find this paper and 3 hours later I had come up with somethings that looked like they could possibly contain the information the bank needed. Now I had to fax the files to the bank. And God's laugh got louder.  I could get the fax machine to accept but not to SEND my faxes. I got out the instruction  manuel and started reprograming the fax machine. By now God had tears running down his face from laughing so hard.

The day ended with my stomach in a knot, my head pounding like a drum and me cursing the fact that I had been so smug to think I had this all under control.  Tonight when I go to bed I will simply thank The Lord for a wonderful day and shut up before I get myself into any more trouble.

STREAMING . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As if TV wasn't bad enough we had to go and invent a machine that could record a TV show in case you were not going to be home when "your FAVORITE show" was on. Great Idea ! Record the show and watch it later when you had time. But that wasn't enough, we had to go and invent a machine that could not only record one show but it could record up to SIX shows at one time ! Just in case "your FAVORITE showSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" were all on at the same time. AND if THAT wasn't enough along comes the computer that allows us to watch our favorite shows ON LINE at any time we want without the bother of recording anything. What could possibly be better than that ??????  How about a computer you can carry around with you so that all you have to do is press one button and VOILA, instant entertainment. But it only gets better . . .

Enter NETFLIX !  Not only can I watch my favorite show any time I want but I can watch seven hundred and twenty hours of a show one episode after another, after another, after another. And these are shows I never even heard of !  But someone said, "Wow, have you seen (fill in any show you care to name)  Lost?  Walking Dead ?  Weeds?  Breaking Bad?  Orange is the New Black ? "
Was my life complete before I spent the past 14 months of my life watching Netflix? I thought so but apparently I was wrong. Now I can keep up with anyone discussing the details of "Friday Night Lights" or "Arrow".  I was happy going out for walks, spending time with friends, reading a good book. Now I hardly see the sun, I am loosing weight (a very good side effect), have bags under my eyes from sitting up till 2 AM watching episode 427 of "Scandal".  BUT THE SHOW IS SO GOOD I JUST CAN'T STOP !

I haven't actually gotten THAT bad YET but I think I am approaching the point of needing an intervention.  Or maybe you just need to take the iPad away.