W M D

Mr. President, I have found the weapons of mass destruction that President Bush was searching for. They are hiding in the form of two to six year old children and are lethal to anyone over the age of fifty.
I had thought that when I started teaching kindergarten, all those many many years ago, that I had contracted every disease know to man and thus should be immune to future attacks from these nasty germs.  It seems that once you send your child off to day care, school, story hour, or any other gathering place of little people, (children, not dwarfs), your child instantly becomes a Petri dish of disease. Thankfully God, in  Her divine wisdom, sees to it that the child just carries the germs and does not usually display severe symptoms for any length of time. There is about a 3 day period where the little person comes home sneezing, coughing and spewing boogies in a 5 mile radius. Nothing and no one is safe from the attack. Try as you may there is just no way to contain these germs. The little one spews for a day or two, rests for a day or two and then totally returns to normal complete;y rejuvenated and ready to go. Unfortunately . . . the entire neighborhood has now been infected and unlike the child, is down for the count for two to three WEEKS!
The really diabolical part of the plan is now put into motion . . . you, (the mom, dad, grandma, grandpa) are now feeling like you know what warmed over. All you can manage is to hold up your head to see the three year old standing by your bed saying, "Do you want to play kitchen with me Grandma?" And of course there is only one response to that no matter how bad you are feeling. So off we go to lay on the floor of the bedroom to cook up some spider spit soup, bees knees bread, or some alligator tail cookies. Grandma can hold it together long enough to play kitchen but when the sight of a plastic french fry makes me gag you know it is time to go home and recover alone.
I feel for all you parents who can't escape to your Florida home in the sun to recover from the flu. You have to remain functioning moms and dad in spite of feeling like crap. The energy level of your child has been recharged to the max after their 3 day bout of illness while leaving you and the rest of the neighbors to  die slow and painful deaths. But you won't die alone . . . the little voice will always be there asking, "Do you want to play kitchen with me?"

I have to add to this that days before we arrived in Maryland our daughter, Keri, (who is 8 months pregnant) came down with the "bug". She went to the doctor, got some medication and was recovering nicely by the time we arrived. BUT . . .  the day before we got there Keri was SICK! She said she couldn't get out of bed and just wanted to die. Kaelin, who had not yet turned three, took care of her mommy with the tenderest care possible. Kaelin covered Keri with her precious princess blanket and even brought Keri her Princess Minnie doll to help Keri sleep. Kaelin shared her juice with mommy and helped daddy take care of the daily chores without disturbing mom. Keri was feeling much better by the time we got there thanks to Kaelin and Steve's great nursing skills. You would think Kaelin could have taught Grandpa a thing or two about how to take care of Grandma but I don't think Grandpa was paying attention, Fox News was on the TV.