I'M DYING . . . .

(Think Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz when reading the title and say it like she would say, "I'm melting!)  Or you could just hit the delete button and forget the whole thing.

I'm spending the evening dying my hair. The excitement and suspense just doesn't hit more of a fevered pitch than this.  I have no idea what color my  hair actually is any more. I think it would turn into a nasty sort of salt and pepper thing which would make me look even more like my mom. (I came in from the pool yesterday and looked in the mirror and there was my mother staring back at me!) Most days I think I look like my father but I think because I am desperate for some color in my hair my mother is seeping through. I just happened to be in CVS today (does everyone out there have a CVS pharmacy within spitting distance?) so I purchased some hair color. I thought this would be a good evening to close myself in my room and see if I could transform myself into a less antique version of myself.

Insert here a ringing telephone and ensuing 25 minute conversation.   Also insert the following warning that should be printed on EVERY box of hair color. DO NOT LEAVE DYE ON HAIR LONGER THAN 25 MINUTES !


I always wanted to be a red head . . .  looks like I got my wish.  The gist of this blog was that every time I color my hair I am never quite sure just what I will get.  I stay in the "BLONDE" category of color but there are soooooooooooooooooooooo  many choices and I do like to switch it up a little each time. I am staying away from "ASH" because that is just too close to grey and the last few times I have had "evaluations" for my back or the police report for the accident I had back in October my hair color has been noted as GREY.  What is the sense of coloring my hair if it still looks grey?  So I have been leaning toward "NATURAL BLONDE" but even that was getting boring. So today I bought Light GOLDEN blonde.

I GOT RED !  Apparently Golden Blonde is a nice way of saying, "If you leave this color in your hair too long (while you are blabbing on a phone) your hair will turn RED.  So like it's not Lucille Ball red but it sure isn't going to be mistaken for grey. Which I suppose is what I was going for in the first place but I may have to take an extra Valium tonight just to ease the shock of looking in the mirror. The color of my hair matches exactly to the color of the sun burn on my face so when I look in the mirror all I see is Elmo or Clifford the Big Red Dog.

At least I did NOT see my mother this time but I'm thinking there is a striking resemblance to Ronald Mc Donald or Clarabell the Clown.  I hope it will wash out after a few days if I wash my hair 20 times a day.
And Please Please pray it doesn't turn lavender when I go in the pool.