"ITS NOT EASY GETTING OLD"

A direct quote from my dearly departed mother in law . . .  "It's not easy getting old". . . To which we would always answer, "it's better than the alternative".   Guess what?  That is not always the case!  That smug, smart-ass remark is not true at all. Dear GOD in Heaven, I don't want to end up like these poor souls here in Chatsworth.
Chatsworth, that's where Ger is residing these days. Three meals a day, a clean bed to sleep in, physical therapy twice a day, all your medicines brought to you so you don't miss a pill, what more could you want?
FREEDOM! The ability to walk, the power to go where you want when you want, the dignity of going to the bathroom ALONE, of showering when you want ALONE, and the removal of pain so you can walk and talk without a care.
All that comes with getting OLD.
These poor souls residing here in the beautiful facility have got to wonder how this happened to them. One minute they were young and vibrant, full of life and suddenly they can't get out of the wheel chair they find themselves in. Why won't their hands stop shaking? Why can't they remember where they are or even who they are? Why is it that when they tell someone they have to go to the bathroom no one comes to their aid? Why do they need help to go to the bathroom? How did they get here? AND WHERE THE HELL IS "HERE" ?
I am up and down these halls all day, getting things for Ger, taking him to and from whatever and there are always little old people sitting in their wheel chairs in the hall ways. They light up when I stop to talk with them. All they want is to be SEEN ! For someone to acknowledge that they do indeed still exist. It must be so horrible to be "alive" but "invisible" to the world. Every day exactly the same as the day before. Friends are all dead, family lives too far away and even if they did live close the aren't with you all the time. They can't be, they are YOUNG and have lives. They will never be old, of course not. Who of us ever thought we would be old, sitting alone, wondering where our life went? How does this happen? I just keep asking myself that question over and over and there is no answer. One minute we were young and the next we are old. OLD, OLD OLD !
Not just the sort of grey hair and wrinkles old, this is the old that precedes death and dying. For sure that is not something we like to think about. Suddenly YOU are THAT person everyone is talking about . . .  You know, that guy whose name is said in hushed tones because HE may be dying. "The poor guy has lung cancer", "She fell and that was the beginning of the end for her", "But he is so young" or "well, he had a good long life". We've all said something like that about that other person but never thought someone would be saying it about us. We all think we are just going to go to sleep some night and not wake up but it doesn't work that way. Getting old and dying is HARD work ! Hell, just the getting old part is tough shit. My Body doesn't do what I want it to do when I want it. It has a mind of its own and that mind is insane!
Grandma Rita was right, "It's not easy getting old."