I am freezing . . . it is 81 degrees outside, the sun is shining and the day is beautiful but I am inside freezing. Let me clarify that . . . I am freezing fresh fish from Alaska. Well, I'm not actually doing the freezing because it arrived here today already frozen. I am just setting up our new freezer so I can put the frozen fish in the new freezer.
It started about three years ago after The Man decided he would put up with me on a long term basis. Once he realized this relationship would work and we moved into out wonderful little condo together the wheels in his head started turning. How could he bring three thousand tons of halibut to Florida for the winter? It would have been easier and cheaper to buy the damn halibut a condo all their own rather than try to figure out where to put a shit load of fish in our small place.
The Man has lived in Michigan and Alaska for many many years so he is used to storing up food for the winter months just like a bear going into hibernation. The difference between Florida from Alaska and Michigan is that both those places have a LOT of space to expand in. Alaska and Michigan have large pieces of property with many "out" buildings in which to plug in multiple freezers to hold all the venison, moose, halibut, shrimp and salmon. Winter months in both these locals are harsh so it is a great help to have food stored close by so you don't have the choice of going out for food or starving to death during a blizzard. In both places it is necessary to travel a distance to get to a grocery store and in the case of Alaska the groceries are at least three times more expensive than in Florida.
Here in South Florida I can walk to the nearest grocery store that is always chock full of EVERYTHING. Even if Armageddon arrives tomorrow I'll be good to go for months. (I may not have toilet paper but there is plenty of food.) That added to the fact that we are only here for seven months of the year we REALLY do not need a lot of food stored in our home. The fridge and freezer that are in this condo are more than adequate for our needs. Our freezer is full of meat and ice cream . . . what more do you need in life ?
But that just was not enough ! The man has spent three years trying to figure out where we could put a small freezer so we can get fresh fish from his son in Alaska. And for three years I have fought this idea. Why ? First and foremost is the fact that The Man does NOT like fish !!!!!! Do I need to say any more ? For the past three years we have had a freezer half full of halibut and each year we return to Florida with "fresh" halibut that his son caught that year and must then throw out last years halibut to make room for the new fish. When I suggest we have fish for dinner The Man usually finds some excuse to have something else. The only time we have halibut for dinner is if Jeanne and Frank are here in Florida. Jeanne LOVES halibut so I cook it for her and the "boys" eat it but would much prefer a steak. By the time we head north in the spring I still have ninety percent of the fish that we brought to Florida the previous autumn. We do not need an additional freezer to store something we will undoubtably throw out in six months.
So can you imagine my "delight" when I got up this morning to find a LARGE packing carton sitting on my lanai ? The box contained a hippopotamus !! No . . . just kidding . . . it held a FREEZER ! W T F ? I stepped out of the bedroom with a total look of bewilderment on my face. (I really do wish you could have seen the look on my face as I opened the bedroom curtain this morning only to see this huge box staring at me announcing that a freezer was sitting there.) As opened the bedroom door The Man looked at me and said, "What have you done?" He thought I had bought this monstrosity !!!!! (I honestly don't think he thought this for one minute but it was a good way to put me on the offensive.) I almost fell over ! My response was, "ME ???? ME ???? I didn't buy that thing!" I immediately knew where it had come from. Last week The Man's son sent us a picture of a small cooler packed with fish and shrimp that he was planning on shipping down to us. I tried to discourage The Man from thinking this was a good idea but he had his mind set on FRESH fish because we didn't get to Alaska last summer. At first I tried to make him see that we did not have room in our freezer since he had just had me pick up a beef tenderloin at Sam's club and two half gallons of ice cream that was on sale. (Our freezer is filled with meat and ice cream). But I knew it was a lost cause to try to keep fish from being delivered so I told The Man I would make room somewhere. He must have talked to his son and DJ sent us a freezer for Christmas thinking this was a great idea.
So this morning there was a freezer sitting on our patio ! Being the calm, rational person that I am my response to this was, "Where the Hell do you think we are going to put this?". The Man could see I was about to go off the very shaky ledge of sanity so he sat me down to talk about this. What The Man's son does not realize is just how small our home is. The Man had several ideas about where the freezer could go, all of which I shot down because I really did not want a freezer sitting in the middle of our bedroom or living room. I had a good suggestion of where he could stick the freezer but I kept that idea to myself.
Bottom line, The freezer is now a permanent fixture in the guest bedroom. I figure I don't have to look at it and the only people who use the guest room are members of his family and they are all used to having random freezers stuck in random places. (It's a whole different culture!).
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