THE LIGHTS ARE ON BUT NOBODY IS HOME

 If you have ever been married you are probably familiar with that blank look on your spouses face when you are talking to him.  You know he is standing there but you also know that nothing you are saying is getting through to his brain.  You might say that the lights are on . . . he is alive,  but no one is home. . .  his brain is dead.  In my vast experience, (not really), I have found this to be true of most men.  They are like Pavlova's dogs . . .  the minute they hear your voice they shut down. Nothing gets in.  I find this to be most aggravating and frustrating.  

Think back to when your relationship was new.   Remember when you could talk for hours with this person You would speak, they would listen.  They would speak and you would listen.  Well forget it !  Now you can speak all you want but no one hears you because the light may be on but NO ONE IS HOME !

I guess it really isn't fair to complain about men not listening. After all we women have also learned to "not listen" or rather I should say, we have learned how to not react.  I can go all day just saying "really" or "how about that" or even "Of course dear" when I have absolutely NO idea what the hell The Man is babbling about.  We hear them talking but we choose not to react verbally.  This happens for 2 reasons.  First is that we usually find that what they are talking about is either not important or boring.  They can go on for days telling you about something that you have absolutely no interest in.  Do I REALLY care about how to catch a fish, what bait to use, what sort of lure to use, how to know where to fish for a particular type of fish?  The second reason we do not react is that we are too busy in our heads screaming, "SHUT UP YOU MORON !", or what ever your usual choice of name calling is for your particular person.  I will not share my preferred "in head" screams.  Just know they are not nice.  

I will say that I do not get as aggravated at The Man as I used to with Husband. I think I have matured, mellowed and medicated with pills that keep me from reacting to the idiotic things that men do. 

I have also found that the older we get the more we realize that the lights are getting dimmer by the day.  It is super hard to have a conversation with an eggplant. They just sit there.  It is harder to have a conversation with a man because he is usually talking nonsense or can't remember what he was talking about.  The worst is when The Man is half listening and goes off on a tirade about something that he thought you said.  In this instance I just sit quietly and chuckle to myself. If I try to straighten out what I said and what he heard it just becomes impossible because he really doesn't remember what I said.  It's an endless circle of confusion.

I would like to think that my lights are still on and shining brightly but then I do something totally stupid like forgetting to bring in the groceries from the car for 2 days. That's when I know that I am dimming at just as fast a speed as he is. That isn't usually a problem except for the meat and ice cream.  It is pretty chilly up here but not quite cold enough to keep ice cream from melting.