If you watch any television at all these days I am sure you have seen the commercials for pills that are supposed to enhance your memory. Of course if you don't write down the names of these medications while you are watching the commercial you can't order them because, if you're anything like me, you can't remember their name three seconds after the commercial has ended.
I am really starting to think I may need some pharmaceutical to help me with my memory. I will think of something I want to do and in less than two seconds it is gone from my head never to be found again. I try the old trick of returning to the last place that I was with hopes that something there will jog my memory but I often can't remember where the last place I was is. I could spend an entire day wandering from room to room just trying to remember why I was there.
This is seriously becoming a problem. Just today I thought of something I needed to do on my computer. I went into the bedroom to get my lap top only to realize I had no idea where my lap top was. For the next half hour I searched the house until I found the computer on top of the washing machine. (How it got THERE is a mystery to me.) Once I found the computer I needed my glasses but those have been missing for the past 3 days. I had them on Monday when I went to pick up dinner for The Man and myself. (It's a good thing my new car has a GPS in it because I forgot to bring my phone with me and couldn't find the new BBQ place.) I remember wiping off my glasses while waiting for my order at the walk up window because they had fogged up when I got out of the car. That's the last time I remember having them. I would assume I put them back on my face to drive home but they are NO WHERE to be found. (My smart ass daughter suggested I go look in a mirror because they could be on top of my head or on my face. She was joking of course but deep down we both knew it was a possibility.)
Today I drove down to a store to buy a loaf of Italian bread. I hadn't been to this particular grocery in over a year so wasn't familiar with the layout of the parking lot. I found a parking spot, parked my car and went in to do my shopping. When I came out I had no idea where I had parked. I knew it was in a "down" row near the end of the lot but wasn't sure exactly where. Because I live in Florida my new white Honda just blended in with all the three thousand other white SUV's in the lot. (Down here if you don't drive a Bentley or a Maserati chances are you own a white SUV) Twice this week I have walked up to a white SUV thinking it was mine. Fortunately I DO remember my license plate number so I realize my mistake before I am arrested for car theft. The only way I remember my plate number is because several years ago when I got these plates I made a conscious effort to come up with way to never forget it. Are you ready for this . . . ? The first letter is the second letter of my first born child's first name. The next two midgets are the last two numbers of the year that child was born. (Simple right?). The last three letters on the plate are JGS. In my mind this spells "jugs" of which I have two rather large saggy, baggy ones. (Father time has not been kind to my body. Those boobs that I prayed for as a teenager are two large annoying globs of fat that get in the way of everything.). Bottom line to this is it didn't take me too long to find my car.
My dad used to worry about not remembering things and I would tell him it was because he had all those years worth of memories stuffed in his brain so it just takes a while for him to find the memory he is looking for. Now that it is ME who can't remember "s--t" I think that explanation is a crock of "s--t". Instead I know I am loosing what little mind I have .
I think the next time I see one of those stupid commercials for memory loss I will write down the name and look into ordering some. Of course that will only happen if I remember to get a pencil and paper before I sit down.
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