Apparently I am not in charge of anything these days. I like to THINK I am in charge of everything but God has a way of slapping me up side my head to remind me I am just a blip on His radar and I need to stop thinking about myself.
I tend to do that a lot ! Think about myself . . . like I am the one and only person on this planet who has an ounce of intelligence so everyone needs to stop and listen to me. God laughs at me all the time. And He shakes his head and then He slaps me !
If you aren't familiar with "God Slaps" let me enlighten you. You wake up in the morning thinking the world revolves around you. You don't feel well, your body aches, you are stressed out, you don't think you can go on with your life as it is. Changes need to be made . . . You need to take a stand and stop letting everyone around you dictate your life. You're sick of being a care giver for others. When was the last time anyone took care of you? BOOOOO HOOOOOO HOOOOOOO !! You get up and decide you are probably going to die of a heart attack in the very near future and this brings you a great sense of relief.
And then comes the SLAP !!!!! God whispers in your ear that you are not the one and only person on His Earth that has "problems". In fact, in the general scheme of things, the stuff that is bothering you is pretty insignificant and petty. And if you really did drop dead it really would not change the face of the earth. People might miss you BUT your passing would not change one single thing. So basically, "Get Over Yourself !" SLAP !!!!
And then the phone rings . . . In the past 24 hours I have received 2 phone calls from friends telling me of things that have happened to them. They lost someone they love. They just received a diagnosis of cancer.
And I am upset over a wet car and not feeling well. SLAP !!! SLAP !!!
I hear God saying, "Hey Catherine, did you get my message yet?"
Ever since our return from Michigan I have been in a foul mood. Before we left up there I asked God to just get me back to Florida and my family and my doctors and I would be good. God listened, as He always does, and got me back here in one piece. Since my return I have found endless things to annoy and upset me. The car, the garden, the house, The Man. The list is endless. And with each passing day I have allowed theses annoyances to overwhelm me and consume my mind and spirit. I am convinced I am dying from heart failure. My liver and kidneys are failing and my mind is oozing it's way toward dementia. (None of these are true but this is just how my mind works.). I am afraid of all of the above and so each day I obsess over every little ache and pain. (God forbid I would eat healthier or exercise to do something to avoid all of the above. I'd rather just obsess.)
After speaking to my friend Theresa last night and hearing all that is happening in her life I realized I had NOTHING to be stressed about. Then when I woke up this morning I had an epiphany that if I did drop dead from a heart attack that might actually be a good thing. I wouldn't have to take care of anyone else anymore and all the little things that are annoying me would no longer be of my concern. In simple terms I could and should " LET GO. LET GOD " .
I was doing pretty well with this game plan until I needed to get my butt out the door to do some running around with The Man. It was at that point that I once again slid back into "poor me" mode. Boo Hoo ! "I have to do everything, I have to remember everything, I have to . . . " blah blah blah . . . The Man and I ran around getting all the little crap done and I was just sinking lower and lower in the swamp of my mind when the phone rang. It was one of The Man's brother's saying his cancer was back and he didn't know if he was going to fight it any more. SLAP !!! SLAP !!!! SLAP !!!!!
God's voice in my ear once again reminding me that a little ache or pain is NOTHING !!! A leak and some mold in my car is NOTHING !! The blessing of having grand kids that want me to babysit is EVERYTHING !!!! I have a kind and caring man in my life who keeps me company and provides me with much joy and all I can do is complain about him when I should be thanking God every day to be blessed with someone like him
How long will all this wisdom stay with me ?? Probably not past dinner tonight but for the time being I guess I am pretty blessed to not be "In Charge". If I can just remember to hand all my stupid worries up to God and let Him be in charge life can be pretty awesome.
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