OF BRUSHES AND BATS

That would be   B-A-T-S  BATS !  Or in this case, B-A-T  as in one bat.

H is a well of stories for you and today he gave me 2 good giggles to share.

I was in the pool cooling off after a hard day of doing nothing when I decided to clean the tile at the top of the water line. There was some algae growing on the grout and I thought I would clean it since the "pool boy", to whom we pay a small fortune each week, never seems to get it cleaned off.  H was sitting on the lanai so I called in to him to ask him to go into the kitchen, go in the cabinet under the kitchen sink and get me the small white scrub brush that was in a basket on the right side of the cabinet.
I realize this was WAY too much to ask of the man but I thought if I spoke slowly and gave very specific directions he might be able to handle this.  NOT !
He got as far as the sliding door into the kitchen and called out,"What do you want?"  I went through the directions again stressing the "WHITE BRUSH" in the kitchen cabinet UNDER THE SINK".  It was quiet for a moment and he asked "WHICH CABINET?"  At this point I am about to drown myself in 3 feet of water. I repeated which cabinet and what I wanted.  A minute later he came out and tossed me an ORANGE BOTTLE BRUSH !   Seriously folks, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Story two is about THE BAT!  Once I got the orange brush I gave up on cleaning the pool and decided to just float around and mutter to myself. Just as I was relaxing H yells from the lanai, "THERE'S A BAT IN HERE!" (Much to my surprise H did not scream like a girl. He was actually quite composed.) I know better than to get out of the  pool and get in his way so from the pool I asked what was going on. H had been sitting reading when he saw a bat WALK across the floor. I'm thinking that's really not a good thing at 3:30 in the afternoon of a bright sunny day but who knows. The bat by now is sitting in the garden on the lanai just chilling. H is now yelling, "WHAT SHOULD I DO?'  I'm damned if I am getting out of the pool so I suggested H get one of the small butterfly nets that we keep on hand for skimming the top of the pool. I thought to put the net over the bat, slide a hard place mat under it and toss the poor little thing into the shrubs outside. H tossed the net over the bat and then wanted to STOMP on it!  I told him WE do NOT STOMP creatures of any sort so I insisted he carry it outside where he THREW the net AND place mat into the bushes. At this point I think the bat realized it REALLY DID NOT want to live any where near us crazy people so it limped off into the huge white Bird of Paradise that grows out back. It probably still has a headache but at least it still has it's life.

I have been wanting to put up a Bat House out near the edge of our lake but H is not a fan. I think I can use this adventure to convince him that if there were a house for the bats they would not be looking to live in our house.