There is gas and then there is GAS. If only the two were interchangeable I would never have to fill my car with gasoline. We really need to find a way to harness the "power" of gas emitted from all species. (Do ants have gas?) I think of those poor cows in Scandinavia whose owners are being taxed because of the gas the cows poof into the. atmosphere. I mean . . . REALLY . . . You're going to tax farts ????? They better not do that to humans or I will be broke in a matter of days.
Maybe we have just discovered what killed the dinosaurs. Think of all the gas being produced by the grass eating ones. I mean, those suckers were BIG !!!!!! With all that methane gas coming out of a Brontosaurus it's no wonder they all died off. And think about T Rex's diet . . . OMG that guy didn't need to eat the other dinosaurs he just needed to let loose a few toots and the entire population with in 100 miles would be dead.
What got me thinking about the "problems" of gas is a phone call I received at 11:30 last night. I usually would have my phone turned off by then but we were still watching TV so I hadn't put it on silent mode yet. When your phone rings after 10 PM you can pretty much guarantee someone is in trouble or totally drunk. Since my kids know better than to wake their mother after ten at night and not before ten in the morning I knew all was well with them. I honestly thought I was getting a call from Dwaynes son in Alaska. There's a four hour difference so we often get calls at crazy times if the beer is flowing. But when I looked at the caller ID I saw that it was the assisted living place where my cousin Lu Lu is living. That could only mean one thing . . . TROUBLE !
At 93 I understand there are always causes for alarm. Lu has fallen several times, she has had UTI's that put her in the hospital, she has bad arthritis in her back and she no longer has any strength in her legs so she can't walk. Her doctor says her heart is strong so she will probably outlive all of us.
The lady on the phone was very nice and trying her best to not alarm me. (She must be new because we have been through this drill MANY times so I do not get upset or panicky because it is usually nothing except Lu Lu wants attention.) The nice lady went on to apologize for the late hour but because I am the contact person I get the call. I asked what was the problem and she proceeded to explain that LU was just taken to the hospital because she had stomach and back pain. Now I KNEW there was nothing to worry about because that is a common complaint from my cousin. (Maybe if she stopped drinking martini's every night she might not have stomach problems. You Think ?). I thanked the lady for contacting me and told her I would be in touch with the hospital. She then asked me if I was "local". I explained that I was in Michigan for the summer. She didn't like that answer because the next thing she said was, "well what do we do with Lu Lu's dog?" (My first thought was shoot it but I didn't say that.). I suggested she call Lu Lu's aide and discuss the problem with her. (Wasn't I smart to think of that !). I thanked her for the call and hung up. I texted the aide and told her what was going on and asked her to keep me up to date. And then I went to sleep and slept like a baby.
This morning I received a text from the aide . . . " Good morning. Lu Lu is back at her room. Most likely she just had gas. "
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