Do you have a "Somebody" living in your house ? Somebodies are related to "It Wasn't Me" & "I Don't Know". I believe they are first cousins but I couldn't swear to that. I have a Somebody living in my home and he/she really is getting into a lot of trouble lately. Just the other day "Somebody" wiped their face on The Man's towel and left a smear of tooth paste on it. The Man came out of the bathroom with his towel and asked me to wash it because "Somebody" had smeared toothpaste on it.
There are only TWO people living in this house and I KNOW I didn't do it. I guess it must have been "Wasn't Me" who was in our bathroom brushing his teeth. The funny thing is that The Man is completely serious when he says these things. I have my own towel so why would I use his ? (The idea of that nauseates me. I wouldn't touch that towel with a ten foot pole. I use tongs to pick it up to throw it in the wash.). But Somebody did use HIS towel. Big Mystery there! This is only one incident in life here in MI. A couple of days ago "Somebody" left the seat down on The Man's lawnmower. I have NEVER ridden on his lawnmower nor will I ever ride on his lawnmower. First and foremost is because it is HIS lawnmower and God Forbid I ever ran over something or did something wrong. I would not want to experience his immediate reaction to that. So the idea that I may have "left" the seat down after riding his mower is just absurd. Who is the ONLY person to ride the mower???? Yup, Somebody did it again. Somebody forgets to charge his phone and then gets all pissed because it is dead. Somebody leaves open the valve on his oxygen tanks so when he goes to use the tank it is empty. SOMEBODY DID THAT !!!
I don't need a Somebody in my world. If I screw up I admit it. Like leaving the sprinkler on all night. Yes indeed . . . That was me. OOPS ! Although to be completely honest I did not tell The Man about the small dent I put in the back bumper when I backed into a pole in a parking lot. He has yet to notice th e dent but if he does I will definitely call upon "Wasn't Me" and "Somebody".
The only times Somebody shows up in my life is when something appears from nowhere. The other day I walked into the garage and there were 2 bags of corn sitting there. I came into the house and said, "Somebody put corn in our garage." Since I knew I didn't put it there and I also knew The Man had not put it there because he is never more than 20 feet away from me. Turns out that Somebody was one of our neighbors who heard we were running low on corn for the deer. I love these people up here..
The Man does have a dual personality though. The he is not Somebody he becomes "Wasn't Me!" If I ask who took the tissue box outside "Wasn't me" has no idea what I'm talking about. He honestly does not remember doing things even though I see him. Along with that problem we have "You Never Told Me That!" I think you never told me that is here more often than any of the others. I am often tempted to keep the recording app open on my phone when The Man and I are talking. I can always tell when the things we are talking about are not sticking in his brain and I will be accused of never telling him that.
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