Today is officially the first day of Autumn but I knew Autumn was arriving about three weeks ago when it started getting a lot cooler and the leaves on the trees surrounding the field started turning colors.
I LOVE Autumn ! It has always been my favorite season. The smell of burning leaves, the warmth of my moms kitchen after coming in from helping my dad rake the tiny piece of property we had and the anticipation of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all made this such a great time of the year for me.
I love the colors of Autumn ! My "pallet" of colors has always reflected my love of this season. (Remember about forty years ago when we all had "our colors" done and you were given a little booklet or sheet of paper showing what colors were best for you to wear? I still have mine in a drawer someplace and occasionally will actually refer to it when choosing something to wear for a special occasion.) My closet was always filled with browns, red, orange and even some yellow, although somewhere along the line someone told me blonds should not wear yellow. But when I moved to Florida I DID get rid of a lot of the darker colors so I could be more "tropical" even though I don't usually lean toward pastel colors. I was never that kid who liked pink and blue unicorns . . . I was more the brown and rust rocks and dirt.
A couple of weeks ago my "adopted" Michigan grand daughter was here and she found a bag of yarn that her real grand ma had spun. There were all sorts of colors! Dani asked me what was this stuff in this huge bag, (she had never seen yarn before?!) so I told her about how her grandma, (who she doesn't remember having been only about two when Freddie died 8 years ago), had owned sheep and how she made yarn from the sheep wool. Dani's next question was, "What do you do with yarn?". I told her you could make blankets from it so then she asked if I could make her a blanket. I can't even come close to the absolutely beautiful wool blankets that her grand mother hand wove from the wool she spun, (People actually DO THAT ????), but I do know how to crochet some really basic afghans so I told the kid I would do that for her before I left for Florida. I then asked her to pick out the colors she would like in her blanket and low and behold she chose green, yellow and rust. My kind of girl !
Of all of the Autumn colors I love orange the best ! The rust colors always draw me to them like a bowl of chocolate ice cream draws The Man to the kitchen every night around ten o'clock. My all time favorite dress that I bought the first year I was teaching was bright orange with small white eyelet daisies decorating the big sleeves. I remember the store I bought it in and how it called to me when I walked into the little boutique. I probably paid way too much for it but I HAD to have it! It was the middle of the 60's and I had the heart of a hippie so this dress was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. I wore it all the time until I got too fat to fit into it any longer. When that happened it hung in my closet for years while I lied to myself about loosing weight and returning to my size 12 days but as we all know that never happens.
My least favorite color is green . . . Maybe that's why I don't like Spring as much as Autumn. Being a Girl Scout for most of my life, Ages seven to about fifty seven, I think I over dosed on the color green. I usually can't find a shade of green that suits me with the exception of bright Kelly green but even then I tend to shy away from that color. (The exception is that I do love that Florida is ALWAYS green.)
All this being said I will finally get to the point of this blog . . .
GREEN POOP !
Yup, you heard me. I said "Green Poop". Please pardon the following narrative if you are of a delicate nature and things like this offend you. Just stop reading now and I will understand.
I came home from mass yesterday and put on my comfy clothes and went into the potty to empty my digestive pipes before getting on with my day. I'm sure you can imagine what was going through my mind when I realized the contents of the toilet was Green ! (I have peed in the blue water of a toilet and gotten green water but this was a whole new adventure.). GREEN poop ???? O M G !!!! Naturally I knew immediately that I was at deaths door and would undoubtedly be belly up six feet under within weeks. My "Fatty Liver" that my doctor has been telling me I have for the past fifteen years had finally blown a gasket and was leaking green sludge into my system. That was the only explanation for this bizarre event. It had to be something awful . . . Doctors always ask you if your stool is red or black but I have never had a single query about Green so it must be something rare and fatal that doctors don't even talk about.
All these thoughts and more were swirling through my brain for about twenty seconds before I burst out laughing realizing just what was going on. The day before I had gone to a five year old girls birthday party. Being a typical five year old girl Ainsley LOVES mermaids so her birthday party had a mermaid theme. The large birthday cake was naturally decorated to look like the ocean with seaweed and fish and mermaids and bubbles all in BRIGHT colored icing drawn on a very, very thick, BRIGHT BLUE coating of icing. IT looked AWESOME and it tasted AWESOME !! In fact it was sooooo good I had two pieces. (In all fairness I HAD to have two pieces because half the cake was chocolate and half was vanilla so I had to see which one was better. Since it really was the icing I was interested in I really didn't have a preference as to the flavor of the cake. I am the kid at the party who licks the icing off the cupcakes and leaves the cake. Butter cream icing !!! YUM !)
Apparently blue icing when mixed with bodily secretions turns stuff Green. SURPRISE !!! This whole thing cracked me up and I chuckled to myself for the entire day. But the best was yet to come.
The Man had not gone to the party because he wasn't feeling great. The hostess of the party sent home some pulled pork and cheesy potatoes for him to enjoy and to top it all off she also sent home some cake. After eating two pieces of cake at the party I sat down with The Man after I got home and kept him company while he ate his dinner. Naturally he shared the large portion of cake that I had brought home so now my cake consumption count was up to THREE pieces of blue covered cake. The Man loved the cake as much as I did and we still had two pieces left over for dinner last night. At about eight o'clock last night I was laying on the bed relaxing while The Man showered and got ready for bed. When he was done in the bathroom he came into the bedroom with the strangest look on his face . . . puzzlement and a good bit of alarm. He stopped at the side of the bed and with a very serious expression on his face he asked me if I had ever had green poop.
I lost it !! I couldn't stop laughing as the tears rolled down my face and The Man stood there wondering why I found his imminent demise so amusing. When I was finally able to speak I said "Blue Icing" and being the smart guy that he is he started to laugh right along with me. It took us about two hours to finally stop giggling. It was just too good not to share .
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