MY NEW BEST FRIEND JIM

 If you're expecting a warm fuzzy story about how I met a lovely new man who's name is Jim you can stop reading now.  My new best friend lives in a nice big glass bottle and his last name is BEAM . . . That would be Jim Beam with Honey !  (And I'm not the honey)

Yup . . .  this week from hell is just rolling on over me so I have had to bring out the big guns to do battle with Satan and his minions who are out to drive me nuts before I can make it home to Florida. This happens to me every so often when I just get too confident in my self and think that God and I have it under control.  God likes to pull back a bit and let a little crap into my life just as a wake up my smug self.  I am convinced this is what happens just like people are convinced there are aliens and UFO's. (Which I do happen to also believe in.) 

There hasn't been anything major going on here but the little stuff is piling up at my door and I am feeling swamped.  I NEED a grand kid break and a Florida break and a spending time with my friends break.  None of which are going to happen for another month. So in order to hang on I have cracked open the lovely bottle of yummy brown liquid. Up until this point I have been happy to have a frozen "bag" drink or even an occasional beer but we are now getting into the serious drinking stage of this stay in Michigan.

This whole adventure of selling stuff is kicking my butt and I can't say a word about it because guess who has been bugging The Man for the past 3 years to sell some of this shit.  Yours truly is now up to her eyeballs in messages on Facebook going back and forth with an entirely insane group of people.  The questions some of these people ask just blows my mind. I mean, I get it, they're spending their money on this stuff so naturally they want to know everything but honestly, how do you measure the hair on a sheep skin?  I always thought sheep had wool . . . apparently they have hair that can be spun into wool, or at least that's what I'm thinking.  Questions like "How long is the hair?  Did I own the sheep?  Did I sheer the sheep? Did I tan the hide? IF I didn't do all this who did?"  I just want to scream,  "How the "F" DO I know." It's like I should have had a very personal relationship with each of these sheep ?

And as all of this measuring of skins and warping boards, (Don't even ask what the hell a warping board is because I still don't really understand it), and looms and spinning wheels is going on would you like to guess what The Man is doing ????????    I will tell you what The Man is doing . . . if he isn't napping he is asking me forty thousand dumb ass questions about the people who are asking me fifty thousand dumb ass questions about the shit "he" is selling.  

Talk about getting rid of the middle man . . . Me and Jim Beam are off on a delightful little journey to getting sloshed.  I am hanging up my phone and it's camera, putting down my measuring tape and closing myself off in the parlor to commune with the deer. Who, by the way I also do not have a personal relationship with  . . . just in case you were wondering.