GET THE "THING"

 I know I'm getting older and my brain is not functioning as well as it did when I was 25, (probably a good thing).  My ears don't hear well and I have to REALLY focus on anything I'm doing. Some days I think I am loosing it and should be putting my name on the waiting list of the local "Senior Residence" but then I realize I am am no different than the rest of my friends who are the same age as me. 

But then we have The Man.  I do believe he is getting worse which in turn makes me more crazy. (As if that were possible.). The Man often forgets words for things but since he doesn't use many words that can be a BIG problem.  Take this morning . . .   I stagger out of the bedroom headed for the bathroom and The Man starts talking to me as I cross the kitchen.  Nothing new there.  Because I just woke up my hearing aids are not in and my brain is not functioning at full capacity. (That would be all of about three percent.) Because this is a daily routine and for the past EIGHT years I have stopped to say to The Man, "I don't have my ears in. I can't hear you."  It mades no difference.  Everyday it is the same.  Except this morning when I DID have my ears in so I could actually hear what The Man was saying.  There was something about having to fix the cabinet door. Since this was not a top priority item on my days agenda  I just kept going and The Man just kept on talking.  When I came out of the bathroom The Man said, (and this is a direct quote), "Would you get me the thing from the black bag in the closet."  HUH ???

Because there are at least 5 different closets in the house and any number of black bags I had no idea what he was talking about. I assumed it had something to do with fixing the cabinet door but  I couldn't narrow it down because I didn't know WHAT THING I was supposed to be getting from which black bag that was in A closet.  

The worst part is that when I ask any question The Man gets all pissed off and looks at me like I am an idiot.  And so today when I could see the steam rising and the attitude building I sat down and explained why I have trouble following his requests.  I explained how "THE THING" could mean any number of things, "THE CLOSET" could be one in any room in the house and as for the "BLACK BAG" just look around at the collection of black bags that travel with us containing all the wires and batteries for all his compressors.  Add to that I do believe The Man is color blind because when he asks me to get one of his bags I naturally ask which bag he wants. He will then say with an attitude, "The Blue Bag" like I'm the idiot for not reading his mind and knowing that. When I show up with A blue bag guess who gets all excited and upset because it is "NOT THAT BAG!". After bringing him several BLUE bags I resort to just picking up any bag I can see and sure enough I get the right bag . . . FINALLY !!!  One problem,  the bag is Black. 

This goes on EVERY day and I have become quite accustomed to being "wrong" when asked to do something.  It doesn't phase me in the least because I know I'm OK.  It's The Man who is nuts !!!!

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