WAKE UP CALL

Any one else think that God is trying to get our attention? I mean, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

This storm that is hitting the entire East of the United States sure looks like a wake up call to me. As if we are not getting the picture from all the tornadoes and wild storms over the past couple of years. Drought in one part of the nation,  floods in another. Wild fires burning halves of states and other folks being swept away in floods the likes of which we have never seen before. Something sure is rotten in the world and we are so freaking stupid that we don't get it.

I personally think this storm is straight from God trying to get the attention of all you Obama lovers. Seriously, why else would a hurricane zip up the Atlantic coast, come ashore in Democratic New Jersey and then head straight for OHIO? We know where all the Obama lovers are living . . .  This storm is for you!  If you don't get your power back in a week we will know for sure that God sent this storm.

Seriously, this storm, Sandy, was (is) one hell of a murderous storm and I am praying for all the folks it is affecting.Thank you God all our family and friends have been spared any real problems and are all safe and sound. Storm watcher Ger is happy as a pig in mud sitting in front of Fox News while wearing his Fox News jacket to keep warm. ( It is a frosty 75 degrees in the house.) Outside in the sunshine it is just BEAUTIFUL but it is chilly in the house. Hurricane Sandy just blew herself around down here for a day or so, spit a little rain and then meandered right up to Washington DC. I was positive she would smack down some nasty on those politicians up there but I guess she decided to go after New Jersey in stead. I heard some where that this is the first time in recorded history that New Jersey has taken a direct hit from a hurricane. That is telling me something. The fact that my baby cousin Raymond lives in Jersey and is a LOYAL, although misguided, follower of Obama, just proves the point that Sandy was sent by God as a wake up call. 

I just can't wait to hear what Raymond has to say about this.

THE WINDOWS AND DOORS ARE OPEN

My deepest sympathy to all my friends up and down the East Coast. Florida is sending you a gift and I don't think you are going to be happy with it. Hurricane Sandy kissed us with her balmy breezes and a sprinkling of rain these past 2 days but she is building up her strength to smack you up side your heads. The fact that the center of this storm is headed straight for Washington DC one week before elections tells me that God has a sense of humor and is possibly trying to wipe out our politicians once and for all. Could the message be much clearer?

Down here in South Florida we welcome breezes and cooling temperatures at this time of the year. We have just finished with Summer, (MY favorite season of the year . . .  thanks to the absence of "Snow Birds" and traffic.) But it does get warm and I start longing to open the windows and doors to let in the fresh air. This past summer was lovely as usual. The pool got up to a fantastic 96 degrees and it was a delightful time to sit in the shade and watch the world go by. Even running back and forth to doctor offices couldn't dampen the season. We had a lot of rain but it was spread out over several months so we didn't mind it in the least. (Rainy days give you an excuse to stay inside and get some cleaning done.)

But now it is late October and we are ready for some cooler temperatures and less humidity. The pool has cooled down to a mere 84 degrees and is much too cool for swimming. (Or so I am told by daughter-in-law Kristen) Smith and I will still go swimming as did Kaelin and Finn when they were here but the true Floridians won't even put a toe in the "cold" water. And now with Sandy having just blown through the pool is filled with debris so unless I am going in with a shovel there won't be much swimming going on till next spring. We left NY so I wouldn't have to rake leaves and shovel snow. Who knew I would be shoveling my pool?

Today is a FABULOUS day! The sun is out and the wind is blowing so hard that my wind chime is playing a symphony. I opened all the windows and sliding glass doors and let the air blow away the summers accumulation of dust bunnies. Everything smells so fresh and clean. On a normal day we almost ALWAYS have a great breeze blowing but today is extra windy. Sandy did blow through here and even though there was the usual "HURRICANE HYPE" we had nothing to bother us. Storm watcher Ger is off his usual Storm Watch and appeared to not care if we were about to die in a hurricane. He doesn't even seem to be concerned that our daughter and family may get pounded by our hurricane. Nor does he seem to care that all our family and dear friends in North Carolina through Maine are about to get hit by the storm of the century. That just goes to tell you how poorly he is feeling. I really thought this storm would have roused him from his lethargy but it didn't happen. I wonder if a water spout in the pool would get him to notice?

GER'S BIGGEST PROBLEM

Getting a cancer diagnosis isn't easy no matter how you coat it. Between chemo and radiation and endless endless doctor appointments and surprise side effects from all the drugs the whole experience takes great courage and fortitude.  All of which Husband is doing great with. He keeps chugging on and is fighting his natural instincts to withdraw into his shell where he can watch Fox News 24/7 and not deal with anything. He is still fighting to get in ALL the fluids. He is forcing himself to eat when he really wants nothing to do with food. He is being civil when I am sure all he wants to do is tell me to "shut the hell up for heaven's sake!". And so it goes day after day. He is fighting his hardest and really really hanging in there.

EXCEPT . . .

He can't get the names of these drugs straight in his head and forget even coming close to pronouncing their names! The man has gone from taking ONE pill every morning, know to us as "THE THYROID PILL". Forget that this pill actually has a name. It is just known as "THE PILL". Now we are up to
 7 pills a day, 2 liquid meds, 1 nasal spray and 2 shots. That is a grand total of 12 medications in a day! (No wonder H isn't hungry!)

Ger still can't keep track of what to take when.  We have 2 medicine baskets. One in the kitchen and one in the bedroom to separate the morning and night pills. That has helped. But he still gets confused as to what to take when. I have made endless lists but he looses the lists.
But the biggest problem comes with the names of everything. I have my note book to refer to but then the nurse will give something a different name and we are thrown for a loop. There is the generic name and the REAL name and the name for the same drug put out by a rival drug company.  And WHY can't drug companies name their drugs something easy? I would love it if we had drugs like ABC1 or XYZ3. Instead we have ONDANSELRON, LEVOTHYROXINE AND TAMSULOSIN. When the nurse asks what drugs Ger is taking it takes 20 minutes to say the names and then decide what that is a substitute for. For instance, I give Ger a shot every day. The name on the box is FONDAPARINUX SODIUM. Translation . . . . ARIXTRA.  The FLUTICASONE PROP is actually FLONAISE. Our heads are spinning!
But the very best part is when Ger tries to come up with the name of the drug.
Cath . . . "Hey Ger, did you take your meds this morning?"
Ger . . . "Yea, I took the SENSA" (Senokot)
Cath . . . "What else?"
Ger . . .  "I also took the MUSCLEX" (Musinex)

There is no way he is even trying to say the names of these other drugs. I guess I should be happy that he gets my name straight . . .    most of the time.

AVALANCHE STARTED BY A STAMP

It's a slippery slope here these days and I can slide down hill faster than anyone I know. Ger is hanging on to the mountain side pretty well. He has a good grip on life. ALWAYS HAS ! Even with all that has been going on he is doing great. Every so often he looses his grip for a few but he climbs back up and keeps on going.

Today I got buried under 40 feet of life.  We were up early, (8AM!) to go for a shot to help keep up Ger's white blood count. From there we had a WONDERFUL breakfast at Mc Donalds. Ger and I haven't been out to eat in quite some time and even though I am not sure that Mc D's counts as "FINE DINING" I'll take it! We sat quietly and enjoyed the food and a great cup of coffee. The customers were quite entertaining so it was a nice respite. From there we went for Ger's radiation treatment.  ONLY 8 MORE !  Ger has had 26 lung radiation treatments so far. Plus 14 brain radiation treatments. It seems like we have been going there forever. But the end is in sight! We left radiation and stopped at CVS to make use of our numerous coupons that were expiring today. How is it possible to spend over $100 at a drug store? And that was AFTER the coupons! Do you know how much Musinex costs???? Almost as much as the Prilosec!  All these years Ger has teased me about the pharmacy calling me for drugs because I have so many pills in my medicine cabinet. Well, he can't tease ME any more because he has a basket of pills next to his side of the bed and a second basket of pills in the kitchen. That will teach him to make fun.

Once we got home it was time to start pulling together ALL the things I have put off for the past week while the grand kids were here. First and foremost was to get the HUGE Halloween card for Smith written and put out for the mail man.  I knew how much the postage would be because I had sent the same card to Kaelin and Finn last week. I also knew that I had an entire roll of "Post Card" stamps that I would never in 10 years ever get to using. I planned on putting 5 of those stamps on Smith's card and it would be good to go.         AND that was where the trouble started. I COULD NOT find that roll of stamps. We had pretty much gotten all the toys away after a week of grand kids so the house was sort of pulled together. Not after I got searching for a freaking stamp!  I have a basket in the laundry room that has all the return stickers and postage stamps in it. I tore through that first. NO stamps! Maybe I put them in the basket on my desk . . .  NOPE!  Maybe they are out in the garage on that desk  . . .  NOPE! Maybe they are in the drawer with the address book . . . NOPE!  (You get the picture yet?) As a last resort I decided they had fallen out of the basket in the laundry room and dropped behind the dryer. BAD THOUGHT! I moved the dryer and found NO stamps but I DID find three feet of dust and filth that only can be found behind a dryer or a refrigerator. I mean . . .  IT WAS BAD!  Then all the paper bags that I had wedged between the washer and dryer pulled loose and went spilling all over the floor. At this point I gave up on the stamps, put a bunch of regular stamps on the envelope and sent Ger out to the mail box so he wouldn't notice me pushing the dryer back over the mess and walking away.
Don't bother telling me it is a fire waiting to happen because that is the only way that mess is getting out of there. In fact, I may even throw in the match! I think a fire would be the best way to clean up the mess I made looking for a freaking stamp !

FEELING HELPLESS

I'm feeling a little lost these days because the "kids" are here and I am put in the position of thinking about them and not just myself. Ger and I have fallen into a pretty selfish way of life these last 8 years since the move to Florida. I guess retirement can do that to a person. There's the whole "now it's our turn to have some fun" thing that us retiree's get feeling, and rightfully so, FOR A WHILE. But eight years have gone by and we haven't done much in the way of "pay back". Be that as it may we are now REALLY challenged to think of others. The whole CANCER thing sort of really makes you forget there is a world out there beside you. Enter the kids . . . .  This is their dad who is fighting this lousy disease and they are scared! I forget that when it is just Ger and I surviving day to day but when they are here and I see the fear in their faces it reminds me that it isn't just about us.
Today was Keri's birthday and we had Kent and family come up for the weekend so the cousins could spend time together. Naturally we had to bake a cake and have a party. But the Redskins were playing against the Giants so Keri and family all donned their Redskins' jerseys and took off for a local out door sports bar to have some lunch and watch the game. The rest of us were all going to join them except Smith was napping and grandpa wasn't feeling well. I ended up going over to the sports bar and picking up Kaelin and Finn and bringing them back to the house so Keri and Steve could sit and watch the game in peace. (That did not help the Redskins any, they lost yet again!) When Keri and Steve came back they had had a good time but Keri was asking her dad how he was feeling and she ended up in tears telling him she really wanted him to come to meet her for lunch because she just wanted it to be like it "USED" to be. That makes me cry. Even though these amazing children of mine are adults with children of their own they are still little kids when it comes to their mom and dad. I forget that! I need to take time to ask how they are doing and feeling about this shitty situation that we find ourselves in. I need to be their for them and not be expecting them to take care of me. I. Want to tell them that everything is going to be all right but I don't know if that I true. I know that no matter what happens I am in God's hands and that is a HUGE comfort to me. I don't know if they have that strong a faith to get them through. I guess they will just have to follow my lead. And I will just have to lean on my faith to get us through.

COUSIN TIME

Three of the five cousins are here together visiting grandpa and making sure he is still alive and kicking. Grandpa is managing to keep up with them to some extent but these little guys just never stop! Have you ever tried spending a day with a one and two year old boy and a four year old little girl? You really must try it some time to get the total effect.
Kaelin and Finley arrive with their parents on Thursday and we were all doing well in spite of the fact that Kaelin and Finn had been up at dawn to catch their 8 AM flight from Baltimore. Then Finn got an ear infection in his left ear to counter act the one he had in his right ear the week before they flew down here. Kaelin, just being a 4 year old girl is usually a shrieking mess as soon as her little brother gets within 2 feet of her and her toys. So we were having a great time in spite of all this.
Today Smith and his parents arrived and he got right into the mix. From around 11 this morning till 7:30 tonight it has been bedlam in a very great way!
The blow up toys grand ma bought for the pool would not stay blown up. The pool is a chilling 84 degrees, compared to the usual 92 but the kids and I didn't mind a bit. Finn decided he didn't want to nap on the first time around and he was a nose dripping mess for about a half hour. Grandpa actually pulled him self together and came and sat out side with us. It was an awesome day! The kids have a ball together and Kaelin and Smith have become fast friends and pool pals.  The two of them floated around in their swim aids and spend most of the afternoon in the pool with grand ma. Steve and Keri spent some time power washing the patio and Kent spent time rousting out Grand pa's BATS! Yes folks, the bats are back! They probably never left but we didn't want to tell grand pa that. Uncle Kent decided to do a show and tell about bats for Kaelin and Smith. Kent got two small nets that I use to clean the surface of the pool and proceeded to roust 5 or 6 poor bats from their afternoon siesta under the eve of our house. He actually caught 2 bats in the nets! Next thing we know Kent is putting on garden gloves to PICK THE BATS UP to show the kids. His sister Keri just kept yelling "RABIES" at him but the bats got shown around to anyone who wanted to see them.  I can only imagine what these poor creatures were thinking. Once Kent released them they did a wide circle of the lake and returned to another part of the house over hang where they hoped to be left alone for the remainder of the day.
Our day ended with a turkey dinner and a COUSINS BATH !  I did sneak in to get a photo of the 3 little guys all playing in the bath together but it was out of focus.
Everyone has returned to their borrowed condos for the night, (Keri and family at cousin Ann's condo and Kent and family at Kyle's condo.) We will see them all tomorrow for a 1:00 foot ball game to be viewed at a local sports bar. (Keri and family are HUGE Redskins fans and cannot miss watching their team lose yet another game.) I will probably go along and bring all the little folks home once they have enough of foot ball.

As for grandpa and me, We will be asleep in about 5 minutes.  GOOD NIGHT !

SITTING AT CHEMO

Here we are . . . Sitting in the "chemo" room with the other cancer patients just killing time while the chemicals kill the various cancers. It's a quiet place. Most people are sleeping or at least trying to sleep. Ger has this down to a science, eyes shut, mouth open an occasional snort. He is snuggled up in the recliner, blanket tucked under his chin and just as comfy as can be.
You are probably wondering how comfortable a cancer patient who is undergoing chemo can be.  VERY!  The drugs used now a days are a far cry from even two years ago. And the doctor we have is a genius when it comes to mixing different potions depending on how Ger is feeling on any particular day. Because the first round of chemo totally threw Ger under the bus and knocked his socks off our doctor has chosen different course for this second round. She is going easier on him and things are a lot different this time around. Of course, we are smarter this time around and are more aware of what we should be looking for in the way of side effects and problems.  So far, so good!!  Ger felt great last week when he finished chemo but as the week progressed he felt a little more "off" with each passing day. By today he felt LOUSY when he got up and having misunderstood the nurses last week he wouldn't take any anti nausea medicine. We got that straightened out today. We really need two sets of ears at all times.  When Ger talks to the nurses he hears only part of what they are saying and unless I am here to question a lot of what is said goes by the way side.

But, back to the chemo room . . .  When I walked in last week I thought something had happened here.  There is "police" tape, (the sort you would see at a crime scene), everywhere in the treatment room. Then I realized, it is decorated for Halloween.  Not only do these 3 nurses have to care for twenty something patients but they find time to decorate! These women are running the entire time we are here. Machines are constantly beeping to let them know that bags of fluids need changing, moving, replenishing. The nurses have to monitor each patient to make sure the are feeling OK and are not cold, nauseous, hungry, thirsty, or anything else. The one thing that IS missing is ringing phones. That is a welcome omission along with the lack of TV! No TV and no phones make this one very welcome place to be if you have to be here. The nurses are so pleasant and kind and aware. Chemo need not be a bad experience at all with these great women taking care of us.

WHERE THERE'S SMOKE

There are the Palm Beach Gardens fire department.

Just when we thought things were "quieting down" . . . .    I was working on the computer last night and Ger was happily sitting in his favorite chair with the Yankees on TV.  Yep, you read that right . .  . The N Y Yankees base ball team was on our TV.  It is a wonder that Fox news got bumped for something else but the NY Yankees . . . ?  Ger's father was rolling in his grave that his son would be watching the HATED Yankees. But this brain radiation seems to be having some strange effects on my man so who am I to say.

Any way, I decided to search for something and as I left the bedroom I gave the wall switch a slap like I always do when I leave the room.  THE LIGHTS DID NOT GO OFF!  That didn't really catch me and I just kept going. Upon my return to the bed room a few minutes later I slapped the light switch again and AGAIN nothing happened. That caught my attention. I stopped and played with the switch for a minute until I realized there was a strange smell coming from the switch accompanied by a thin curl of smoke curling up from some where in the innards of the wall. I have to be honest in telling you that visions of FIRE engulfing my house whipped through my head in a matter of seconds. Along with the mantra of "OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT." I stepped into the den right out side our bedroom door and got Ger's attention. (I was a bit agitated and kept yelling turn off the TV!)  It did take him a few to realize I was in distress and not just trying to get him to turn off the TV.  I told Ger we had a fire and he needed to come look. With that I ran to the kitchen, grabbed the phone and an screw driver and headed back to the bedroom.

I have to tell you that while all this is going on and the visions of my house going up in flames is running through our heads the alternate vision is of the embarrassment of fire trucks racing up in front of our house, sirens blaring and lights flashing all for a small wisp of smoke. It is stupid, I know, but it was a factor in deciding whether to call 911 or not.
By now Ger was taking the switch plate off and when he burned his finger on the hot switch plate I dialled the phone.
"911 . . .  Police or Ambulance?"
"UMMM . . .  I have a switch plate that is smoking so I guess I need the fire department."
"Please hold"
"FIRE DEPARTMENT"
By then I was committed and the fire man was super nice and helpful. He asked it the smoke was filling the room . . . . I had to explain that the smoke was no longer even visible. But the nice man humored me and treated this very professionally.
Next thing our security guard from the community arrives, followed only moments later by 3 firemen and a silent, non lit up fire truck.  They checked the wall to make sure there was nothing smoldering in the wall, admired our house and took off back to the fire house to await the next crazy senior citizen with an emergency.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT !

OH, and the very funniest part . . . .  They wanted to know if Ger was an electrician because he knew to take off the switch plate and disconnect the switch from the wires !  Papa Danny would have been so proud of him!

I NEED MY TUNES TODAY

Anything is possible with music.  At the moment Eric Clapton is getting me through the day.  There is nothing like some familiar music to raise the spirits and calm the soul.

Nothing really going on here other than frustration. How can a man live 73 years and not eat a vegetable or a fruit as part of every meal? RITA, what were you thinking when you fed these children of yours? (Probably she was thinking how she was going to feed a family of 6 for the week without any money!) So I guess fruits and vegetables were considered a delicacy during the 40's & 50's because this man of mine just WILL NOT eat either one unless it is disguised in a pie or a casserole. Even then he has been known to pick things out and question their origin. I have no shame in telling him flat out that the piece of zucchini that he has separated from the rest of the pot pie is in fact a piece of onion. Because the fact is, he doesn't know a zucchini from an onion and can't taste the difference even if he knew what they were. But the fact remains that the man will not eat anything that is good for him or will help to make him healthy.
This has been a major challenge in fighting cancer. All the good healthy foods that would help fight the fight are not on Ger's list of foods he will eat.  Any and all suggestions are met with a look of horror that I would even suggest he put such and such a food into his face. But I never said it is impossible. Do you know what you can disguise in the form of a shake? And since I have never had a problem with "Little White Lies" we are managing to get a few healthy things into husband.

this has been a good week and the fact that Kyle was here from England sure did help. I basically had a few hours off when Kyle took Ger to the different treatments. I had an opportunity to cut out a dress for Kaelin's Halloween costume. She informed Keri last week that Grand ma was making her a witch costume so I got working on that. I have a vision of what I want to create but I am not so sure the finished product will look anything like my vision. but hey, witches are supposed to look all scraggly and ugly so I figure I really can't mess up too bad.

Now we are in for a quiet weekend of playing, "WHAT'S YOU GONNA EAT?" I asked Ger before what he felt like for dinner and he almost cried. So I put on the tunes and I'll create something in the kitchen that hopefully he will be able to digest.

NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS

HI,  remember me ?   I am the blogger who never finds time to blog.  Don't ask . . .   Since H has started going to bed at 9:00 at night I have lost my evenings with the computer. I could resort to going back into the garage where all this started OH so many years ago but the thought of fighting my little PC when this beauty of a MAC is just sitting in the bedroom sleeping along with H just does not make me want to blog. Even though my brain is spilling over with all sorts of silly things I have been spoiled by this computer and just can't bring myself to hack away on the old PC.

Be this as it may, you may wonder why I don't blog during the day or (Silly you) in THE MORNING. I"m sure you know the answer to the latter . . .  I DON'T DO MORNINGS . . .  and as for finding time during the day, well, that just doesn't happen either.

Kyle is here this week !!!!!  It is a blessing! We sure did something right when we raised our kids and now we are seeing the proof.  Kyle arrived Saturday evening and drove down to the church where we were at mass. When we came out of mass there he was, a sight for sore eyes.  He had hoped to get to mass with us but the traffic coming up from Miami, where he landed at 2, was pretty heavy so he didn't make it to the church until mass was almost over. It was so good to see him there and know I wasn't alone for the week. Not that there is a lot to do but having my son here is comforting.

We spent the weekend cooking and cleaning up and playing with Smith on Sunday. Kent and Kristen came up to "distract" grandpa but I got lots of play time in with Smith while the "kids" took charge of cleaning up and cooking.  Grandpa pretty much sat in front of the TV. If it wasn't for his bald head and "ashy" color you wouldn't know there was anything different.

Today I was going to take Ger to radiation and then to the oncologist for a shot. BUT WAIT, Kyle is here to help . . .  Yesterday Kyle and I left Ger with the plan that Kyle would come with us. (Baby steps for H, the routine is changing and H does NOT do well with change.)  This morning I got up and dressed, (so H would know I wasn't planning on spending the day in bed). I then sat down with H and suggested Kyle take him to the doctors today. I swear he stopped breathing ! I slowly explained how nothing would change other than the person driving and when he stopped hyperventilating he started tossing out the "WHAT IFS ". What if the doctor has a question? What if there is a change in dates? What if . . . . .. . . . .. . .."  I told him that our 39 year old son who is brighter than H and I combined probably could handle any thing that came up.

And so, here I am. ALONE in the house, blogging and checking e-mails. Sitting in the bed room listening to my favorite little mocking bird who is outside singing his little heart out. Music to my ears!

All my friends are giving me the same advice.  It is the advice I have given to them many times. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ! "When  Kyle is there do something for yourself."  And So I am, even thought it really isn't as easy as it sounds.

DISTRACTED

It has hit home today that I need to regroup, rewind and settle down.  I have been trying to be super woman since the news of lung cancer broke into our perfectly organized lives. I am neurotic by nature and need all my little ducks in a row. I have tried over the years to snap the rubber band on my wrist when I find myself getting too carried away with OCD and the therapist swears I have come a long way but this cancer thing has tipped my world. I immediately went into "CARE TAKER" mode and kept notes and made calls.  Researched everything on the computer, gathered all the information I could, shopped, cooked and tried to make sure all was going smoothly.

BUT . . .   as I quickly came to realize, I am NOT in control.  The BIG GUY upstairs is the only one who has any control over our lives and day to day living. I can plan, note and do all I can to THINK I am in control but then I have a morning like this that reminds me I am a mess.
These past weeks are a roller coaster.  Good Days,  Bad Days and some days that we just don't know what the hell is going on or how the hell we are feeling.  We have gone from our care free days of swimming in the pool, traveling when and where we want and eating out 90% of the time. Now we get up and just try to put our feet on the floor without falling over.

BUT . . .   I am Woman! (As that old Helen Ready songs says) and I can handle anything.  As long as I am not distracted. Let me tell you about how I started my day today. First, I COULD NOT wake up so save my soul. I AM TIRED !  I think I am sleeping at night but boy am I tired today. I waited till the last possible moment and then dragged myself up. Ger has to go to radiation every morning at 10:45 which means we leave here by 10:30. Why he isn't driving himself I don't know.  I haven't asked as he just seems quite happy with the way things are. The day he was diagnosed with Lung cancer he stopped driving . . .   Go figure. Makes me think he has given up already but that is not a topic we can broach quite yet. ANYWAY,  I got up out of bed, staggered into the potty and all to late realized that I was using the CLOROX wipes instead of the baby wipes on my delicate little bottom. As I hopped around the bathroom yelling "OH OH OH" all the while tripping over my PJ's which are tangled around my ankles I came to realize I am far from being SUPER WOMAN and a lot closer to being ELMO.

FOOD ISSUES

While Ger continues to loose weight guess who is gaining . . . .   Poor Ger just hasn't gotten a handle on this whole cancer thing and his weight is dropping.  The doctors tell him to EXPERIMENT !
Do they know who they are talking to ?  This is the man who doesn't eat things because they SOUND funny.  And they want him to experiment !
I cannot tell you how very frustrating this is for me.  I have wonderful resources and yet I just can't hit upon the right food and drink at the right time. Thanks to my man having such a limited menu of things he will eat on a good day things really get limited now that he is feeling "OFF".
The medications prescribed by the doctors are wonderful.  We have things to increase an appetite but Ger feels nauseous.  We have medications that will get rid of the nausea but then Ger won't take them because he doesn't feel nauseous, just a little gassy.  We have medications for gas but Ger won't take them because he doesn't want to drink anything. We have . . . .   are you getting the picture here?

I made a chocolate shake for the man this  morning but it didn't taste good. (Chocolate usually doesn't taste good when you are queasy but that is what he wanted.) Heaven forbid I should throw food away so I am drinking the "protein enriched" chocolate shake.  I made a different shake and I think he was afraid to say he didn't like that one so he IS drinking it.

I made a half of a ham sandwich because that is what he wanted. But he is only eating a quarter of it because he has already filled up on the shake. ( I swear I tried to give him the shake AFTER the sandwich but because the first on didn't taste right he waited to see how the second one would be and then chugged it because he really didn't like it either.) I can either put the quarter of a sandwich in a zip loc bag so it can sit in the fridge with the quarter of a chicken sandwich from last week or I can stuff it in my face. Want to guess where it will end up?

I have shopped for and cooked all sorts of food trying to entice Ger to eat but it just isn't working.  The TWO refrigerators are over flowing with food that I keep eating but so far nothing is appealing to poor Ger. If I would take my lead from him and only eat what he is eating I will be as skinny as anything but unfortunately I am of the generation of "Starving children in China" so I can't let a left over get past my mouth and into the garbage.

God really is playing a good joke on us.  And I can still see the humor in it !


P.S.    For my BFF who is going to visit her sister for the week . . . .  HAVE A SAFE TRIP and do a lot of laughing.  I'll try to supply you with some funny stuff.  Love you both !