GETTING OLD

 I'm tired !   I am looking forward to escaping to the quiet of the UP where I do not have to be "on call" for anyone.   I LOVE my friends and family but I also love being away from them for a time so I can recharge and focus on doing NOTHING !!

I must be getting old.  A retirement home where I can be fed and taken care of is sounding better by the day.  I know I always say that age is just a number but this birthday has me totally rattled.  In 4 days I will be one year away from turning 80 !   How the hell did that happen ????  Every time I read about an auto accident where the driver was (GASP!) 76 years old so of course they got in an accident,  "How dare those old people be driving!"  In a week The Man and I will be driving SIXTEEN HUNDRED MILES to spend the summer in northern Michigan.  I told that to one of my doctors the other day and he was shocked that we drive ALL that way "BY OURSELVES!!!!"  (As if I am four and want to cross the street by myself.  It was only the hand doctor who gives me shots for my arthritic hands who said this, not my GP, Cardiologist or shrink.  What does a hand doctor know?). 

I am beginning to think I really AM getting old.  A fact that I have not considered in the past 79 years. But this big Eight-Oh that is looming on the horizon does have me thinking about my mortality.

 AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT !

And so when The Man behaves like an idiot I do not have the patience to keep from smacking him up side his head.   Take today for instance.  For what ever reason the men in my life do not like going to the barber shop.  Husband HATED going because he didn't like people touching him, especially his head. (Don't ask)  The Man is just "lazy" which I really can't blame him with the oxygen situation but I need some time away from him, even a simple trip to the barber.  Instead The Man has decided that I do a fairly good job of cutting his hair,  He chose the type of hair clippers we should buy and he paid for them.  I guess that makes it OK for him to micromanage every hair that I cut on his head. (And there aren't many)  You would think that a person who is at the mercy of a lunatic holding scissors would have more sense than to be giving instructions as I cut his hair.  

We always do our Barber Shop out on the lanai so it is easier to clean up. The man sits in one of the high-top chairs and I get to cut his hair.  It is at this point that The Man starts giving me instructions on HOW to cut his hair.  "Hold the scissor this way",  "Don't cut too much",  "Be sure to get the little hairs on my neck".  But the newest and best instruction that I got this time was, "You should hold my ear down when you cut around it".   DUH,  DUH. and DUH !!!!!  This is not our first hair cut and those are not new ears that I have never had to cut around before.  Not only did he tell me to hold down his ear he reached up and was going to hold his ear down himself.   Little did he realize he could have not only lost an ear but he could now also loose a couple of fingers.   I slapped his hand !!  Well . . .  not really.  I WANTED to slap his hand and his head but instead I just took his hand and placed it in his lap.  I think he got the message.

Now adding to all the normal every day stuff that he manages to annoy me with we now have the added stress of packing.  It is time to pack up the car and make the drive to Michigan. The man started packing a month ago and has now spent that month asking me where he put things.  If I hear one more dissertation on HOW he is packing his . . .  medicine, underwear, Bi-pap supplies, (of which there are hundreds), shirts and shoes.  It is not like he only has 3 shirts that he must bring back and forth, the man has more clothes in Michigan than I have ever had in my entire life.  If you have a full wardrobe in both places that you live why do you have 3 suitcases ?????   If I have to hear all about just how he is packing the socks first and then the underwear will go next and so on and so on and so on.  Meanwhile I am responsible for packing up the entire house with things we need for traveling. Empty the fridge, empty and turn off the freezer and clean it out once it defrosts. take my car up to Hobe Sound where it will stay for the summer at my friend Jeannes condo that has covered carports, go to the bank so we have travel money and on and on and on.

The craziest packing of The Man's crap was this afternoon when I walked into the bedroom and he told me  very proudly, that he had just packed up his heart monitor.  The man has a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted in his chest.  He has a machine next to the bed that monitors if there are any irregularities with his heart.  It automatically calls 911 should the need arise.  But if the machine is packed in the car then what happens over the next week if something is going on with his heart ?   Apparently that is not a concern for him.   When he told me what he had just packed I responded with one word,  "ALREADY?"  To which I go a lengthy explanation of how he has to pick things now because it will be too much to do last minute.   Packing your underwear 3 days in advance of your departure is one thing but your heart monitor is quite another thing.    

I said NOTHING !

And that is another sign that I am getting old.  I don't bother to argue. It takes way too much energy!

IT FEELS A LITTLE WARM ?

 O M G !!!!!   It is HOT !  Not that it is unusual for it to be hot it South Florida but it should be cool INSIDE my house.   It is NOT !   

It seems that, these days,  I am having issues with things that are hot.  For starters my laptop is overheating.  When I plug it in it gets SO hot that I have to put a pillow on my lap to keep from burning my legs.  I am guessing it has something to do with the battery but I am not ready to deal with that just now.  Hopefully the great computer fixer guy that I found in MI last year will take care of all that for me once we get back to the farm.       . The other day I was starting a blog while sitting on the lanai and I had to stop to do something.  I left the  plugged in computer sitting on the sofa on the lanai while I went to do whatever. A few minutes later I came out and asked The Man to feel the bottom of the computer to see if it was hot.  He lifted it up off the couch, held it in his hands, turned it over a few times and said, "Well, it not hot, just a little warm."  After which he put the computer back down and went inside.  Not two minutes later I returned outside, picked up the computer and almost got third degree burns from the bottom of laptop. It was HOT !!!  But according to The Man it was only a little warm.  

Yesterday our Air conditioner stopped working.  I woke up in the morning with the house being 76 degrees.  I turn it down to 74 at night, (that is the lowest The Man can tolerate under his 42 blankets pulled over his head) I'm usually comfortable with just a sheet because 74 is still too warm for me to sleep. Thank goodness for ceiling fans !   So here we are with the temperature going up to 80 and we have no AC.  The Man was loving it !  I opened all the windows/doors to catch the morning cool air and turned on all the ceiling fans.  By 10:00 AM I had to close all the windows/doors and shut the curtains and blinds with hopes of the house staying "cool". The Man was in Heaven! I spent the day outside sitting under the fan on the lanai.  When I would go into the house forth whatever the "heat" inside hit me like a brick wall. And yet there in front of the TV sat "You Know Who" happy as a clam. When I asked if he was hot he of course said "NO . . .  It feels fine in here."  I checked the thermostat and it read 82 degrees.  So I left him there in is own personal sauna.  We slept with a portable unit in our bedroom that our land lady brought over and The Man complained all night at how COLD it was.   

Fast forward to this morning.  The AC guys showed up around 9:30,  The Man and I left to go to a doctor and when we returned at 1:30 the guys were just finishing up.  The house was cool and I was happy. The man went to bed for a nap under a blanket.  All was well with the world until tonight when I came in from the lanai to take a shower and get ready to relax and watch some TV.  The minute I walked in the door I knew the AC was not working.  Sure enough the thermostat was set for 77 for The Man's comfort but the house was actually at a steamy 84 degrees.  I asked The Man if he realized the AC was not working and it was 84 degrees in there. His answer . . ."Well now that you mention it it does feel a LITTLE warm." 

A LITTLE WARM ???????????????  We are one step this side of Dante's Inferno and The Man thinks it is a little warm!   I suppose if the house were on fire he wouldn't realize it until the TV blew up in the flames.

It is now after nine at night but I sent a quick text to the AC guy saying the unit was not working. I did NOT expect him to come over I just wanted to let him know that there was a problem.  He called right back from a local restaurant where he was having dinner with his parents. He said he would be over in a few minutes. I told him absolutely not, it could wait but he insisted and will be arriving any minute now. MAYBE . . . 

In the mean time The Man is taking his shower and crawling into bed under his 42 blankets because even though the AC is not working and the house is now up to a toasty 85 degrees The Man is cold.

But I will say     The AC guy IS HOT !!!!!  

IS THIS TUNA ??

I haven't written in a long while . . .   sorry about that.  Busy busy busy?.  Or is it Lazy lazy lazy ?  You pick.  I am either super busy doing nothing important and when I have nothing important to do I just want to sit and binge watch "This is Us".    Never watched it before and can't stop watching it now.  

ANYWAY . . .    I have been cleaning this morning.  Because of the whole foot nonsense I have not been able to clean the house in weeks.  I would sneak in a quick vacuuming when The Man wasn't around to tell me to "GET OFF YOUR FOOT" but other than that the dust bunnies were gathering and preparing to attack.  And so this morning when The Man went out to his pulmonary rehab session I gathered my mop, broom, vacuum, dust cloth and then sat down to rest.  I haven't actually cleaned anything yet but my good intentions are there. (It's a wonder I knew where any of my cleaning supplies were.) 

As I sat down in the living room to check my email before getting to work The Man arrived home. My first question for him each day is, " What have you eaten today?"   The standard answer is ALWAYS, "A donut or two and a nutrition drink".  (Thank goodness for the VA and their suggestion and supply of Ensure. Without it The Man would get NO protein in his diet at all. I DO try but it is an uphill battle.) As usual today's answer was exactly what I expected. I then asked if he wanted some lunch. The answer of course was "yes" because he expected me to get up and make lunch.  Because I was sitting in my recliner in the living room and he was standing in the kitchen can you guess what my thoughts were on ME making lunch?   I suggested The Man open the fridge and have one of the several things that were sitting in there just waiting for someone to eat them.  There is a piece of steak leftover from dinner 2 nights ago.  A container of tuna salad left over from lunch on Monday. There is bologna and chili and several other "leftovers" just waiting for someone to heat them up and eat them.  It took a little encouraging for The Man to agree to open the fridge and as he stood there blankly staring like a deer in headlights I just watched to see how this would play out.  It was his next question that prompted me to write todays blog.

As The Man stood in front of the fridge holding a small container of something he turned to me and asked, "Is this tuna?"   

Please tell me if there is ANYONE on God's Green Earth who can NOT identify tuna fish by its smell. !! All he had to do was open the container and give it a look and a sniff and he would immediately know he had hit the mother load in finding tuna.  

He is still alive and I did not even blink when he asked if he had indeed found the tuna. 

 But I knew I had to put it all in writing so that when some day, way in the future, when I am sitting in my old age home wondering if I had dreamed all this I could go back to my blogs and reassure myself that these memories are real.   I'm sure it will strike me as just as funny then as it does now.    

HOW MANY DAYS IN YOUR WEEK ?

 I have always thought there were 7 days in a week.  From kindergarten I was under the impression that a week consists of 7 days where ever you may live.  There are seven days in a week in China. Seven days in a week in South Africa and seven days in a week even in space.   Apparently I have been misinformed.  

According to The Man there are 3 days in a week.  Yes,  I said THREE.   I don't know where he learned this but I tend to think it is a part of being a man.  Husband used to have the same problem.  Sometimes when I would ask the man in my life to do something like changing the wiper blades on my car, , (like I would ever ask him to do that),  he would say, "Sure, I'll get to it this week".  Three of MY weeks later I would still be waiting for  the job to get done. Apparently a week in a mans world can be any number of days from three to three hundred or more.   It is a puzzle to me. 

The occasions for short weeks are when I am sick or recovering from something.  

This past Monday I had a small skin cancer cut out of my foot. It turned out to be a big nothing. The Moh's surgery only took one cut to remove all the cancerous cells. Because of the location on the side of my foot I had to go to a plastic surgeon to have the incision closed.  It took a few stitches covered with a large compression bandage and the instructions to keep my foot elevated and STAY OFF MY FEET FOR A WEEK !!  No problem ! Except that foolish me figured on SEVEN FULL DAYS of rest and relaxation sitting in a chair with my foot resting on a pillow while The Man took care of me.  I didn't expect breakfast in bed, although that would have been lovely, but I did hope for at least a few nights of not having to stand in the kitchen cooking dinner.

Apparently I am delusional !   I should know better.  I have been to this rodeo before.

The evening of the surgery I did get to sit with my foot up thanks to my oldest child and his wife.  They bought us dinner and had it delivered. (They live in Georgia) Unfortunately The Man and I had had a big burger on our way home from the doctor so we weren't hungry for dinner.  The second day I was making my own breakfast when our good friends Jeanne and Frank called to say they were in Florida and would like to come over and bring dinner.  Because we had plenty of food from Kyle and Bridget's delivery we had dinner all ready here.  The 4 of us enjoyed a wonderful chicken dinner that I heated up. Jeanne brought other food and dessert so we were all full.   I will give The Man credit because he did the entire clean-up.  Way to go Mr Man. !!!!!!     Last night I heated up some left over Chili that The Man had made over the previous weekend and once again he did the clean up.  (I must say here that just putting dishes in the dish washer is exhausting for the poor guy.   I REALLY appreciate all he does. It's not easy for him.)

And now we come to today and our THREE day week.  "Keep my foot up for ONE WEEK". Doctors orders.   "KEEP OFF MY FEET FOR ONE WEEK". Doctors orders.   I understand that but apparently the issue lies in how many days make up YOUR week ?!

This morning The Man decided we needed to work on the menu for Super Bowl Sunday.  It will just be the two of us and Jeanne and Frank.  The Man decided we should not do a meal, rather just finger food like wings and chips.  We were sitting together making up a shopping list when The Man looked at me and asked me if I was going to the store today.   STORE ?????   SHOPPING CARTS ??????  PARKING LOTS ??????  WALKING ???????

I was very good.  I very calmly reminded him that I was not supposed to be WALKING !!!!!!!!!  To which I got an, "Oh right. We can go tomorrow".  Today is DAY THREE post surgery.  Tomorrow is DAY FOUR post surgery.   

That doesn't sound like a week to me !

EIGHTY IS THE NEW ONE HUNDRED

 I am not aging well.  It is becoming increasingly evident that I will not live to be 100.  Nor do I want to if I have to put up with all the parts of my body deciding they ALL want attention.  NOW !!   Good Grief Charlie Brown, when did I get old ???   But it could be worse.

The other night my cousins husband came over for dinner.  His wife, my cousin passed away last May from congestive heart failure.  They were here in Florida for 2 weeks and she looked terrible.  She was horribly swollen and EVERYONE told her to go the the ER.  But being from my mother's side of the family she did not go.  In fact not only did she not go to the doctor down here she flew home to NY and waited a week before she went to her doctor up there.  She was dead 2 weeks later. (That will NEVER be me because I am at some doctor every other week. In fact my GP is offering me a job because I am there so often.)

Back to "cousin" Ken. (Names have been changed)  My cousin was only 75 when she died.  Her husband just turned 80 and he is NOT a happy camper.   The poor guy told us the story of how his wife died and his adventures as a widower. His first major shocker, (which I can't imagine he didn't know all along), was that his now dead wife was a HORDER.  I knew that just from going to thrift shops with her when ever she was in Florida.  Thrift shops were her idea of Heaven.  We never came home empty handed.  

And so last week when her husband arrived at their condo down here he had to go shopping for a POT to boil water in.   There are at least 5 full sets of dishes in the kitchen cabinets but not a single pot to cook in.  (They NEVER at home when in FL so why she needed all those dishes I will never know.).  At their home in NY Ken said he couldn't believe all the crap that was in the house. (Being a man he never noticed?)  He has spent the past 6 months throwing out 95 percent of the stuff in the house and he says it is still cluttered.  

Once the house "cleaning" was done Ken had time to think.  And he decided he is not happy.  Naturally he misses his wife.  With her gone there is no one to tell him what to do.  What and when to eat. Where to drive and how to get places. There is no one there cooking for him, doing laundry, shopping. The poor guy is LOST and alone.  So what does any single male do in this situation?   He joined a dating site.  (I almost squirted soda out my nose when he told us that.  My Man did an excellent job keeping a straight face. )

Now please do not think that I am looking down on dating sites.  There is someone out there for everyone and these places do their best to help you find that special someone.  BUT . . .  I think there may be an expiration date.  Ken shared with us that he was very honest when he filled out his form.  He is in fairly good health, (although when he walked up our path he was very stooped over.)  He loves to play golf, he is single AND he is 80.    Apparently it is the part about being 80 that is a turn off for anyone under the age of 90.  

I told him he was a hot commodity down here and all he has to do is sit by the pool and the women will flock to him like ants on an Oreo cookie.  He told me he wasn't interested in "those" women.  (Because they are all as old as he is?).  He would rather check out the "babes" on the computer with the high hopes of finding someone to share his life.  I REALLY didn't want to burst his bubble but SERIOUSLY GIRLS, Who in their right mind is going to take on an 80 year old man who has been catered to for the past 50 years ??????????   And he doesn't have millions of dollars !   

The Man and I are still talking about our dinner with Ken . . . I feel for the guy but HOLY COW !!!

A REMINDER

 Every so often we need a reminder of how special we are.   Not bragging or boasting or patting myself on the back for anything but I think we all tend to forget that we ARE special.  Each in our own crazy way. 

I forget that fact often!   Every day starts with our thinking of all the things we have to get done in the next 24 hours.  We get up and jump into the "daily grind". (Well, not so much jump these days but you know what I am saying.).  The day starts, our brains start, our bodies hopefully start, even if they aren't working on all the burners . . . we do start.  And we are off to the rat race of another day.  

Every day brings new adventures and challenges.  Some good, some bad but ALWAYS a challenge.  Taking care of the family, clean the house, shopping, grabbing a mouthful of food as we work our way through the day.  (Usually more than just one mouthful).   Hopefully we take a few moments for ourselves but that is always the last thing we consider.  It's always about the family, friends and home.  

(Of course when you get to be a certain age much of your time is spent "taking care of yourself" but not in the way we would like.  For me taking care of myself would involve a deserted island in the Caribbean complete with a good book and lots of snacks and drinks. That never happens.  The reality of "taking care of ourselves" involves lots and lots of doctor visits.  There is always something going wrong with this old body. Like a 1945 Ford my parts always need repairing and replacing.)

All of this "living" wears us down physically and mentally.   And when I get worn down I forget I am not alone in all of this.  My response to life is to withdraw and climb inside my head. THAT is NOT a good place to be. As the sign by my computer says, "Don't walk a mile in my shoes. Take five seconds inside my head and it will freak you out!"    

It was a wonderful holiday this year but I was exhausted !  January 2 found me ready to die.  My body was hurting and I was feeling lousy.  Even though I slept for almost 12 hours I just couldn't gain any energy.  My stomach was a mess, (thank you Christmas cookies and a truck load of chocolate) My body ached in places I didn't know I had, (Thank you cold and damp weather), and I had a cough and trouble breathing. I was convinced I was ready to croak!   In my head I was running through the list of cancers, viruses, ulcers and any number of other ailments that I KNEW I had contracted.   A visit to my doctor told me otherwise but I still wasn't convinced I was going to make it through the week.  Because I lost my appetite I knew for sure I was heading for being 6 feet under in a matter of days.  

And then I went to play mini golf with a wonderful friend. Theresa is patient with this old lady and she humors me often.  She had stopped by one afternoon and as she was leaving she suggested we go play miniature golf the next day.  And we did !!!!!  We had a great time, laughing the entire time. Just the medicine I needed.  Not a single ache or pain the entire time.  I only started feeling crappy as I approached my home.  That tells you a lot. 

BUT this morning I felt good when I woke up.  (The prednisone the Dr. prescribed is working) I started cleaning out the guest bedroom and I came across a box of greeting cards that people had sent me for birthdays and other occasions.  I decided to go through the box to see just what I had saved.  

It was a reminder !!!!!!!   As I sat here reading these cards from wonderful people in my life it reminded me I am not alone in this journey. But more importantly I am LOVED.  Notes that Mr. Man had written in birthday cards to me reminded me how blessed I am to have this man in my life.   Notes from family reminded me how precious my children and grand children always are. And my friends !!!  WOW !!  

All this is a reminder !  A reminder that I really needed right about now.  Why did I decided to take time to sit and go through these cards today?   Why did I even keep these cards all these years ???  

Why do I forget how Blessed I am ?????? 

CANNOLI FOR COMMUNION

 I always love how my parish decorates the church and alter at Christmas time.  My Florida parish is fairly large, the church is fairly new and it is ALWAYS decorated beautifully. My Michigan church is under major renovation which will hopefully be completed by the end of this month,  During the major construction on the 100+ year old building all the masses are being held in the church basement. It is a small parish so the decorations this year were minimal but lovely.  (I can watch mass in MI on my computer so I was able to attend their Christmas service.). 

When I had returned to Florida this year the pastor of my Florida Church, St. Patrick, commented on the fact that it would be quite a challenge this year to get the church decorated for Christmas. Because Christmas was on a Monday the church would/could not be decorated until after the 11:15 mass on Sunday.  At that time they would have exactly THREE hours to get everything set for the 4:00 Christmas vigil mass.  That is quite a challenge for a church of our size. But sure enough . . . they did it!

                                                  . . .  EXCEPT , , ,

When I walked into church on Christmas morning I felt like I was attending an Italian festival. Flash backs of San Gennaro Italian festival in Little Italy, NYC flashed through my head. From the top of the ceiling at the back of the alter all the way down to the floor the wall was draped in red, white and green fabric.  I expected Christopher Columbus to be on the alter saying mass and instead of the host at communion we would be served Chianti and Cannolis. 

 There were lovely Christmas trees with twinkling white lights, the life size manger scene at the foot of the alter and beautiful green garlands sparkling with lights hanging on the side walls of the alter.  But front and center, larger that life was the Italian flag !!!!   

I came to realize later that the "white" bunting was actually "gold" but the color was so light that it appeared to be white.  I couldn't focus on anything else.  

True to form mass was lovely, our pastor gave a wonderful homily, the choir was accompanied by trumpets and drums but it still felt like I was in Italy.