Well fans, it's Wednesday night and you know what that means. Or do you? Wednesday night is Silver Slugger night at Roger Dean Stadium. This is minor league baseball season and our stadium has 2 teams that play there so every night there is a ball game, from April to September. And every Wednesday there are hordes of Senior Citizens attending those games because WE (yes, Ger and Cath are both part of the fan club), are Silver Sluggers. NO, we do not PLAY base ball, we watch. Each week the masses gather at the ticket booth to get their treasured ticket to get in PLUS, (hope you're sitting down for this part), a voucher for a FREE hot dog and soda. The hot dogs are actually quite good, fresh rolls and nicely grilled with mustard, onions, sauerkraut and relish available. That condiment table gets pretty nasty at times with some of the old folks pushing and shoving to get to the mustard. Throw in the guy in a wheel chair and it is worth your life. And for goodness sake don't step on the old lady's oxygen hose. Once you get your dog and 3 ounces of soda, (the cup is a 6 ounce cup but once they fill it with ice there isn't much room for the drink), fight your way to and from the mustard and kraut everyone heads up to the stadium seats. The fact that you have a ticket with a section, row and seat number means nothing. It is totally a sit where ever the hell you want. First come get the seats in the shade or in the case of rainy nights, the three rows of seats under the over hang. No one questions this system and no one has a problem with it except the visitors who just can't get their heads wrapped around letting the old guy in their seat remain where he is. There have been altercations when some tourist just won't sit where ever but insists on ousting the old guy sitting in his seat. The tourist inevitably looses.
The games generally go for 2-3 hours. Most times there are no extra innings because most times no one manages to score through the whole boring game. But hey, it's a night out with your hubby, there is usually a nice breeze and the place is ripe for people watching.
Tonight was an exception . . . I had read the latest email from the stadium before tonight's game AND without thinking I shared the information with Husband. The email stated that tonight everyone should arrive at 5:30, rather than 6:30 because they were featuring a, (once again I hope you are sitting),
FRANK SINATRA singer for the entertainment of one and all. Guess what H wanted to do . . .
Husband wanted to leave the house at 5:00 to be sure to get there for the very first song. (WE live 5 minutes from the stadium. Had we left at 5 we could have set up the singers equipment.) We compromised and left at 5:15 and were there just as the doors were opening. (OH JOY!) I thought maybe the guy would be out on the field performing but no, he was right inside the gate where the concession stands are. You had to walk right in front of the guy to get to the seats. OH, But we were not going to our seats . . . H found a chair, (one of the 10 or so that were set up in front of the singer) and plopped himself down among the other seniors who had arrived an HOUR EARLY. And there we sat for the next hour. Listening to "Frank" croon away. The guy was good and he was adorable in his black suit, bow tie and hat but sitting there among the Joisey and New Yak folk on their walkers and canes I just wanted to stand up and yell, I'm REALLY NOT THAT OLD ! H was in his glory watching all the people while I couldn't believe I was part of this Old Folks Nirvana.
The crowd loved the show, they sang along and cheered when "Frank" sang "New York, New York".
I can't believe I was part of this! In years past when there were guest entertainers we would slither around the back unnoticed to get to our seats. But over this past year when H was getting chemo or radiation something must have been removed or planted in his brain that turned him into AN OLD FART.
Please Tell me I haven't arrived there yet . . .
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
LIVING WITH A RUBIK'S CUBE
Do you find Rubik's cubes entertaining? I sure as hell don't. They are frustrating as hell and I usually want to take a hammer to them. You spend hours trying to figure the damn things out, looking at them from all different angles, twisting and turning hoping to make some sense out of the stupid thing and then end up tossing it against the wall and stomping it to pieces.
I married a Rubik cube. The man is a total enigma and as much as I twist and turn to try to figure him out and make any sense of him I still want to toss him against a wall and stomp him to death.
BUT . . . There is hope. God has spared the man this long and is finally giving me some help. I've joined a group to help me cope with my eating habits and in the process I am learning to let God give me a hand with every thing in my life. Not that this is a huge stretch for me, I have always called on the Lord for help. Some times screaming, "DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN HELP ME!", but those don't really count because I am usually in a closet or the bathroom screaming into a pillow or a towel. But the Lord has heard even those prayers and is helping me to get a handle on life. My crazed eating has calmed for the moment, I am feeling better physically and mentally and I am laughing at Husband more than wanting to kill him.
Today was a challenge though. I woke up hungry so I had some cereal. Did a mental assessment of my self and felt full and ready to tackle the day. H and I had some things to do out of the house and then took a drive to Sams Club for a supply run. Hadn't been there in well over a month so a lot of the basics were in short supply. I knew H wouldn't be up to walking the miles of aisles while I checked out everything so as soon as we arrived I got H to sit down in the food court, got him some pizza and a soda and off I went to shop. One problem . . . . the girl at the food counter screwed up my order and charged me for 2 orders of pizza instead of one. I put all 4 pieces (a single order consists of 2 pieces of pizza) down on the table by H and told him to eat what he could, I would be back. Now the group I have joined to loose some weight allows me to make my own food plan. I could have eaten pizza but I honestly was not hungry so I walked away. But then I got shopping and thinking . . . "UMmmmm, pizza. It sure did smell good and it sure did look good. And I really could have a piece . . ." So as I shopped I got my taste buds all set for those tasty bites of yummy pizza. As I rounded a corner into the patio furniture department in the back of the store there sat Husband. NO PIZZA in sight. I had a quick moment of panic as I walked over to where he was sitting and calmly asked where the pizza was.
HE THREW IT OUT ! He sat there staring up at me and told me in a totally calm and reasonable voice that he couldn't eat it so he threw it out. WHO THROWS OUT FOOD? screamed my mind but having learned all these wonderful tools to sanity I only said, "OH. . . Good." I turned to continue shopping muttering to myself as I walked away. I couldn't believe it. The man threw away 2 perfectly good and delicious pieces of pizza that I would have inhaled without giving it a thought. And then I would have beat myself up all day over eating it. The man saved me from myself and all I could think was what a "F'ing" idiot he was for tossing the pizza. It took me 2 aisles to calm down to the point of being able to laugh and forgive him. I owe him big time !
It doesn't end there. . . tonight just as I was about to go into the shower H is standing in our sink area looking totally lost. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he needed to plug in something. My mind says, "H has something in his hand that he wants to plug in some where." I'm thinking maybe his phone charger, or camera battery but he has nothing in his hands. As I am trying to process this he is poking at the outlet by the sink. I finally got it figured out that he wanted to check to see if the outlet was working and wanted something to plug into the outlet. Since his electric toothbrush and water pick are already plugged in I suggested he just turn them ON and if they worked then he would know the outlet worked. I didn't think that through well enough because H flicked the switch on the water pick and the entire bath room was instantly drenched. Naturally the effect of all the water pulsing out across the mirrored walls, ceiling and floor made H forget how to turn the machine OFF.
I just walked into the bathroom, shut the door and screamed into a towel.
I married a Rubik cube. The man is a total enigma and as much as I twist and turn to try to figure him out and make any sense of him I still want to toss him against a wall and stomp him to death.
BUT . . . There is hope. God has spared the man this long and is finally giving me some help. I've joined a group to help me cope with my eating habits and in the process I am learning to let God give me a hand with every thing in my life. Not that this is a huge stretch for me, I have always called on the Lord for help. Some times screaming, "DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN HELP ME!", but those don't really count because I am usually in a closet or the bathroom screaming into a pillow or a towel. But the Lord has heard even those prayers and is helping me to get a handle on life. My crazed eating has calmed for the moment, I am feeling better physically and mentally and I am laughing at Husband more than wanting to kill him.
Today was a challenge though. I woke up hungry so I had some cereal. Did a mental assessment of my self and felt full and ready to tackle the day. H and I had some things to do out of the house and then took a drive to Sams Club for a supply run. Hadn't been there in well over a month so a lot of the basics were in short supply. I knew H wouldn't be up to walking the miles of aisles while I checked out everything so as soon as we arrived I got H to sit down in the food court, got him some pizza and a soda and off I went to shop. One problem . . . . the girl at the food counter screwed up my order and charged me for 2 orders of pizza instead of one. I put all 4 pieces (a single order consists of 2 pieces of pizza) down on the table by H and told him to eat what he could, I would be back. Now the group I have joined to loose some weight allows me to make my own food plan. I could have eaten pizza but I honestly was not hungry so I walked away. But then I got shopping and thinking . . . "UMmmmm, pizza. It sure did smell good and it sure did look good. And I really could have a piece . . ." So as I shopped I got my taste buds all set for those tasty bites of yummy pizza. As I rounded a corner into the patio furniture department in the back of the store there sat Husband. NO PIZZA in sight. I had a quick moment of panic as I walked over to where he was sitting and calmly asked where the pizza was.
HE THREW IT OUT ! He sat there staring up at me and told me in a totally calm and reasonable voice that he couldn't eat it so he threw it out. WHO THROWS OUT FOOD? screamed my mind but having learned all these wonderful tools to sanity I only said, "OH. . . Good." I turned to continue shopping muttering to myself as I walked away. I couldn't believe it. The man threw away 2 perfectly good and delicious pieces of pizza that I would have inhaled without giving it a thought. And then I would have beat myself up all day over eating it. The man saved me from myself and all I could think was what a "F'ing" idiot he was for tossing the pizza. It took me 2 aisles to calm down to the point of being able to laugh and forgive him. I owe him big time !
It doesn't end there. . . tonight just as I was about to go into the shower H is standing in our sink area looking totally lost. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he needed to plug in something. My mind says, "H has something in his hand that he wants to plug in some where." I'm thinking maybe his phone charger, or camera battery but he has nothing in his hands. As I am trying to process this he is poking at the outlet by the sink. I finally got it figured out that he wanted to check to see if the outlet was working and wanted something to plug into the outlet. Since his electric toothbrush and water pick are already plugged in I suggested he just turn them ON and if they worked then he would know the outlet worked. I didn't think that through well enough because H flicked the switch on the water pick and the entire bath room was instantly drenched. Naturally the effect of all the water pulsing out across the mirrored walls, ceiling and floor made H forget how to turn the machine OFF.
I just walked into the bathroom, shut the door and screamed into a towel.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
LEARNING NEW TRICKS
I have finally hit on something that is helping me to heal. I am learning new ways to handle life and it seems to be working.
Yesterday was a recipe for disaster. At any other point of my life Husband would be dead in the driveway and I would be in jail for murder. The poor man was just all over the place with his brain and after 4 trips back into the house to get different things he got into the car and yelled at me to get going because I was checking my cell phone for directions.
You know me . . . That could have been a recipe for a weeks worth of me being angry. OR, a possible explosion from me with the end result of Ger being thrown out of the car. OR me just turning off the car, telling H to go F himself and that would have been it for the trip and a day of visiting. All three scenarios went through my mind but I settled on what I have been learning these past 2 weeks . . .
"WHAT HAPPENS IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS HOW YOU REACT TO WHAT HAPPENS"
Thaddeus Golas
That about says it all. We can apply those words to just about every thing in our lives. It wasn't easy to remember that when H got all pissy because he was feeling dumb but I did manage it and we had a lovely day.
Today too was a better than good day. A true Florida Summer Day, HOT, sunny and wonderful. Ger tried to do some power washing on the patio and he did great. Too hot to do too much but he felt good being out there doing something. H gets frustrated that he is not strong enough to do all that he could before his cancer journey but he gets a little stronger each day.
And then it was time for mass so we pulled ourselves together and headed out of the house and down our road. Just before the gate there was a big, old, moss covered turtle walking across the road. I asked H if I could stop to pick it up and put it in the grass on the other side of the road. Rather than the usual response of, "It's a dirty old thing, leave it alone and it will make it on it's own", Ger actually said,"Sure, stop if you want to.". And I did and hopefully Mr. Turtle is now happily making his way to the pond.
I wonder if this means that H will some day let me get a dog?
Yesterday was a recipe for disaster. At any other point of my life Husband would be dead in the driveway and I would be in jail for murder. The poor man was just all over the place with his brain and after 4 trips back into the house to get different things he got into the car and yelled at me to get going because I was checking my cell phone for directions.
You know me . . . That could have been a recipe for a weeks worth of me being angry. OR, a possible explosion from me with the end result of Ger being thrown out of the car. OR me just turning off the car, telling H to go F himself and that would have been it for the trip and a day of visiting. All three scenarios went through my mind but I settled on what I have been learning these past 2 weeks . . .
"WHAT HAPPENS IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS HOW YOU REACT TO WHAT HAPPENS"
Thaddeus Golas
That about says it all. We can apply those words to just about every thing in our lives. It wasn't easy to remember that when H got all pissy because he was feeling dumb but I did manage it and we had a lovely day.
Today too was a better than good day. A true Florida Summer Day, HOT, sunny and wonderful. Ger tried to do some power washing on the patio and he did great. Too hot to do too much but he felt good being out there doing something. H gets frustrated that he is not strong enough to do all that he could before his cancer journey but he gets a little stronger each day.
And then it was time for mass so we pulled ourselves together and headed out of the house and down our road. Just before the gate there was a big, old, moss covered turtle walking across the road. I asked H if I could stop to pick it up and put it in the grass on the other side of the road. Rather than the usual response of, "It's a dirty old thing, leave it alone and it will make it on it's own", Ger actually said,"Sure, stop if you want to.". And I did and hopefully Mr. Turtle is now happily making his way to the pond.
I wonder if this means that H will some day let me get a dog?
Thursday, June 6, 2013
TORNADO WARNING
It was a crazy day. The phone rang at 7:25 this morning and we knew it couldn't be anyone who knew us because we just do not DO mornings. When I heard my daughter-in-law's voice my first thought was that something had to be wrong. And something was . . . Kristen was at home getting ready for work with the TV on in the background when she heard there were tornado warnings for Palm Beach County. She called to let us know we had a 50/50 chance of being blown away.
Not one to panic I calmly turned on the bedroom TV and went back to bed. By now H was awake and all set for a marathon day of storm watching. I dozed off once I realized we were clear of the path of the storms and I let the pouring rain and pounding wind lull me back to sleep for another hour.
Hurricane season started 6 days ago and it seems like it is going to be an active season. The very first named tropical storm had formed in the Gulf of Mexico early last weekend and she has been dumping rain on us for days! It's the rainy season so what do you expect?
But the storm wasn't the only thing spinning in circles today. Poor old "Chemo Brain" husband just was totally out to lunch today. He couldn't get his act together to save his life. H had an afternoon doctor check up that he has known about for 3 months. He did remember to go get his blood work done early this week so the doctor would have it there for the appointment. But that was about all he managed. Naturally the TV was on since early morning and even though Fox News does not report on local weather that was what H was watching. A half hour before we had to leave I told H I was getting ready to go so if he wanted to shower I would be out of the way shortly.
As I stood by the front door a half hour late the TV was still blasting and H was running around like the proverbial chicken with it's head cut off. He left the house 3 times and 3 times had to go back in for something. As I waited at the door when we first started out the TV was still on and H was heading for the bathroom. When he came out of the bedroom he handed me a pad of paper and a pencil and asked me to WRITE DOWN HIS MEDICATIONS. (Key word here being "HIS") I looked at him like he was insane and calmly explained that we had to LEAVE NOW and hadn't I done this for him at least 2 other times? In fact, hadn't I printed them out from the computer and given him a copy for his note book? There went another 5 minutes as H searched his dresser and mess by his chair. No luck there so I took the pad and asked him to just get in the car. (Those of you with children may find this whole scene quite familiar. Sad that I am playing it out with a grown man!) As I mentioned before it took H 3 tries to get into the car. Trip one back into the house was to get his water. Trip two was to get his medicine that he wanted to take, (Hello, why didn't you take it some time in the past 7 hours that you have been sitting in front of the TV?), and trip three was to get his paperwork that he needed for the doctor. As I was pulling out of the drive way for the FOURTH time H remembered his hat but I just kept going! There are 3 hats in the back of the car along with 2 jackets for all the times when we get on the road and H remembers he didn't bring a hat or jacket!
By the time we got to the doctor's office I needed a Valium or a shot gun! I sort of wished that tornado HAD blown me away this morning. It would have been faster and a lot less painful!
Not one to panic I calmly turned on the bedroom TV and went back to bed. By now H was awake and all set for a marathon day of storm watching. I dozed off once I realized we were clear of the path of the storms and I let the pouring rain and pounding wind lull me back to sleep for another hour.
Hurricane season started 6 days ago and it seems like it is going to be an active season. The very first named tropical storm had formed in the Gulf of Mexico early last weekend and she has been dumping rain on us for days! It's the rainy season so what do you expect?
But the storm wasn't the only thing spinning in circles today. Poor old "Chemo Brain" husband just was totally out to lunch today. He couldn't get his act together to save his life. H had an afternoon doctor check up that he has known about for 3 months. He did remember to go get his blood work done early this week so the doctor would have it there for the appointment. But that was about all he managed. Naturally the TV was on since early morning and even though Fox News does not report on local weather that was what H was watching. A half hour before we had to leave I told H I was getting ready to go so if he wanted to shower I would be out of the way shortly.
As I stood by the front door a half hour late the TV was still blasting and H was running around like the proverbial chicken with it's head cut off. He left the house 3 times and 3 times had to go back in for something. As I waited at the door when we first started out the TV was still on and H was heading for the bathroom. When he came out of the bedroom he handed me a pad of paper and a pencil and asked me to WRITE DOWN HIS MEDICATIONS. (Key word here being "HIS") I looked at him like he was insane and calmly explained that we had to LEAVE NOW and hadn't I done this for him at least 2 other times? In fact, hadn't I printed them out from the computer and given him a copy for his note book? There went another 5 minutes as H searched his dresser and mess by his chair. No luck there so I took the pad and asked him to just get in the car. (Those of you with children may find this whole scene quite familiar. Sad that I am playing it out with a grown man!) As I mentioned before it took H 3 tries to get into the car. Trip one back into the house was to get his water. Trip two was to get his medicine that he wanted to take, (Hello, why didn't you take it some time in the past 7 hours that you have been sitting in front of the TV?), and trip three was to get his paperwork that he needed for the doctor. As I was pulling out of the drive way for the FOURTH time H remembered his hat but I just kept going! There are 3 hats in the back of the car along with 2 jackets for all the times when we get on the road and H remembers he didn't bring a hat or jacket!
By the time we got to the doctor's office I needed a Valium or a shot gun! I sort of wished that tornado HAD blown me away this morning. It would have been faster and a lot less painful!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
BIGGER, BRIGHTER BATHROOM AND BUNNIES
NO I have not totally lost my mind I'm just going in a thousand directions and had the urge to write. I've joined a group of women who mostly hate to write. I can't imagine that! Hate to write? How do you pour out your guts? How do you get through the day? I can't imagine not having a venue to pull my thoughts out of my head and rid myself of them. Just doesn't make sense to me! I remember years ago when I was complaining to my mother that I DID NOT want to write thank you notes because I just didn't know what to say. She so wisely told me to just write like I spoke or thought. I guess I did talk a lot but I thought even more so it became very easy for me to write. I Still HATED to write those thank you notes but now that I am more the recipient than the sender I do love getting those few short lines from someone I care about. I would much rather email than call a person. It's much easier for me to write than talk. And spell check is just AWESOME ! When I talk I need sentence check to keep me from saying things that are just too dumb to believe.
So, here I am today putzing around the house on yet another rainy day. This is rainy season so I am loving the change of scenery from all the usual sun shine. I am a rainy day person any way and would probably do very well living in the Northwest. Not that I don't love the Florida sunshine but a week of rain is refreshing to me and lets me do all the inside things that I feel guilty doing on sunny days. I'm headed out to "Control Central" out in the garage to organize my desk out there but I got side tracked by our new toilet and an large bunny rabbit. The rabbit was NOT in the bathroom, it was two separate events.
Earlier this week we had a new toilet installed. a WHITE toilet. Our old toilet was brown. Fit with the decor but not the least bit practical. It did hide the nastiness of many things but it was also horrid. Now when you enter the throne room there is actually a THRONE sitting there. This toilet, that I chose, is HUGE! Biggest damn potty I have ever seen outside of the handicapped stall at the airport. I wanted a toilet that was higher than the last one but this thing needs a step stool to get on to it. Forget the poor little grand kids. They have trouble enough aiming straight but when the are balanced on their tip toes while standing on a step stool there is no chance in hell they will hit the mark. But then since the bowl is an elongated variety they do have a larger target. So far H had been doing great. He has not lost his balance trying to stand nor has he had as much difficulty aiming. Probably the old brown bowl blended in with the brown floor, (don't ask, it came that way when we bought the place!) and that, added to the whole bifocal issue H would have trouble deciding where to aim. The white bowl brightens the whole room and actually makes the bathroom look larger. It has been a good change.
Then as I was walking out into the kitchen headed for control central I looked out the back door and there was a large rabbit sitting munching on my lettuce plant. I did not plant this plant, it just appeared one day. I've let it grow just to see what it would do. At the moment it is going to seed and the rabbit was enjoying it quite a bit! Maybe it will keep the little guy away from my eggplant that I did in fact plant and hope to harvest. H tells me there are 4 little eggplants actually growing so perhaps I will have a harvest. Mr. rabbit is more than welcome to as much lettuce and as many tomatoes as he wants but back off bunny when it comes to my eggplants. All this rain has been making the garden very happy. I'm pretty happy too because I don't have to water the plants. H's tomatoes are out of control! He has harvested 6 dozen so far and I am running out of ways to use them.
Now, where was I going with all this? Not a clue. Just rambling and enjoying a rainy afternoon. Hope your day is going a well for you. Talk to you soon!
So, here I am today putzing around the house on yet another rainy day. This is rainy season so I am loving the change of scenery from all the usual sun shine. I am a rainy day person any way and would probably do very well living in the Northwest. Not that I don't love the Florida sunshine but a week of rain is refreshing to me and lets me do all the inside things that I feel guilty doing on sunny days. I'm headed out to "Control Central" out in the garage to organize my desk out there but I got side tracked by our new toilet and an large bunny rabbit. The rabbit was NOT in the bathroom, it was two separate events.
Earlier this week we had a new toilet installed. a WHITE toilet. Our old toilet was brown. Fit with the decor but not the least bit practical. It did hide the nastiness of many things but it was also horrid. Now when you enter the throne room there is actually a THRONE sitting there. This toilet, that I chose, is HUGE! Biggest damn potty I have ever seen outside of the handicapped stall at the airport. I wanted a toilet that was higher than the last one but this thing needs a step stool to get on to it. Forget the poor little grand kids. They have trouble enough aiming straight but when the are balanced on their tip toes while standing on a step stool there is no chance in hell they will hit the mark. But then since the bowl is an elongated variety they do have a larger target. So far H had been doing great. He has not lost his balance trying to stand nor has he had as much difficulty aiming. Probably the old brown bowl blended in with the brown floor, (don't ask, it came that way when we bought the place!) and that, added to the whole bifocal issue H would have trouble deciding where to aim. The white bowl brightens the whole room and actually makes the bathroom look larger. It has been a good change.
Then as I was walking out into the kitchen headed for control central I looked out the back door and there was a large rabbit sitting munching on my lettuce plant. I did not plant this plant, it just appeared one day. I've let it grow just to see what it would do. At the moment it is going to seed and the rabbit was enjoying it quite a bit! Maybe it will keep the little guy away from my eggplant that I did in fact plant and hope to harvest. H tells me there are 4 little eggplants actually growing so perhaps I will have a harvest. Mr. rabbit is more than welcome to as much lettuce and as many tomatoes as he wants but back off bunny when it comes to my eggplants. All this rain has been making the garden very happy. I'm pretty happy too because I don't have to water the plants. H's tomatoes are out of control! He has harvested 6 dozen so far and I am running out of ways to use them.
Now, where was I going with all this? Not a clue. Just rambling and enjoying a rainy afternoon. Hope your day is going a well for you. Talk to you soon!
Monday, June 3, 2013
THE END
Good Evening . . . . Ms Cranky Pants here. You notice you haven't heard from me in a while. That's cause I have been busy. Busy running husband here and there because the man seems to feel he can no longer drive. This is all a very very cruel joke on me. I have prayed and prayed that Ger would let me drive when we were out together and I got my wish and then some. He is now TOTALLY dependent on me for all transportation needs. CRAP!
But that's not the "end" I was talking about when I sat down to blog. This blog comes to you courtesy of church. It occurred to me last Saturday night when we went to our favorite 4 PM "Sunday" mass on Saturday, (leave it to the Catholics to come up with that crazy idea, which I happen to love), that men like to sit at the end of the rows. No matter what time you get to mass the ends of the pews are filled with men. The entire church can be empty except for the end seat on each row. H has now become one of the group and will go to all sorts of maneuvers to get that prized end spot.
Some weeks we go to mass early to be able to pick that choice spot, always near the back, "just in case" he isn't feeling well or has to go to the bathroom mid mass. I totally understood that back in the middle of chemo but now a days it really isn't an issue. But the end spot it is and nothing will get in his way. Not even an old lady on a walker with a tank of oxygen strapped under her nose. She gets the stink eye and as H stands up to allow her to pass him and go into the center of the row she inevitably decides to sit some where else. The man with 3 kids all going in different directions gets the same treatment. NO ONE is getting that end spot! The weeks we get to mass late H will be on the other side of the game, walking up to some man, (it's ALWAYS men on the end), and try to bully him into sliding in so H can have the end spot. Some times it works, some times not. The usual routine is that H starts shuffling about 12 steps away from his target. He takes off his hat so the bald head is in full view and if he can manage a wheeze or two for good measure the seat is usually his. He has been know to stumble a bit but that was when he was actually too weak to stand and probably shouldn't even be in church.
So what is it about this END seat? I am pretty sure that the men are not sitting there to be in direct line of any blessings coming off the alter. The clue is to wait until after communion and see how many people have left the building before the final prayer. That's the time to grab the end seat because they are almost all vacated. If you rush out into the parking lot you will see a long line of men driving out of the church grounds, all trying to be at the FRONT of the line.
They just can't make up their minds as to where they want to be!
But that's not the "end" I was talking about when I sat down to blog. This blog comes to you courtesy of church. It occurred to me last Saturday night when we went to our favorite 4 PM "Sunday" mass on Saturday, (leave it to the Catholics to come up with that crazy idea, which I happen to love), that men like to sit at the end of the rows. No matter what time you get to mass the ends of the pews are filled with men. The entire church can be empty except for the end seat on each row. H has now become one of the group and will go to all sorts of maneuvers to get that prized end spot.
Some weeks we go to mass early to be able to pick that choice spot, always near the back, "just in case" he isn't feeling well or has to go to the bathroom mid mass. I totally understood that back in the middle of chemo but now a days it really isn't an issue. But the end spot it is and nothing will get in his way. Not even an old lady on a walker with a tank of oxygen strapped under her nose. She gets the stink eye and as H stands up to allow her to pass him and go into the center of the row she inevitably decides to sit some where else. The man with 3 kids all going in different directions gets the same treatment. NO ONE is getting that end spot! The weeks we get to mass late H will be on the other side of the game, walking up to some man, (it's ALWAYS men on the end), and try to bully him into sliding in so H can have the end spot. Some times it works, some times not. The usual routine is that H starts shuffling about 12 steps away from his target. He takes off his hat so the bald head is in full view and if he can manage a wheeze or two for good measure the seat is usually his. He has been know to stumble a bit but that was when he was actually too weak to stand and probably shouldn't even be in church.
So what is it about this END seat? I am pretty sure that the men are not sitting there to be in direct line of any blessings coming off the alter. The clue is to wait until after communion and see how many people have left the building before the final prayer. That's the time to grab the end seat because they are almost all vacated. If you rush out into the parking lot you will see a long line of men driving out of the church grounds, all trying to be at the FRONT of the line.
They just can't make up their minds as to where they want to be!
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