THANKSGIVING MEATLOAF. PART 2

I have made its home from the hospital but had started this on my iPad the day I got sprung loose.  I'll finish up those thoughts and then take it from there.   

Well, I’m still here in the lovely Gatdens Hospital all inclusive resort in lovely down town Palm Beach Gardens.  Unfortunately they do not serve alcohol at this resort but I can have all the pills I want, (except the "happy ones"), PLUS to be sure my body has enough space in it for all the pills and IV’s the resident vampires periodically drain about half my blood into little vials that I think they are using for some bizarre satanic rituals. The reason I think this is because they enjoy sticking me with needles way more than any person in their right mind should.  The masked tortures bounce gleefully into my room twice a day and three times at night pushing a cart loaded with their instruments of doom.  It is apparently a big secret as to what they are doing with all my blood because all they ever say is, “ We will see you later”, as if I need or care to know that.   I have at least seven puncture sites on my arms from successful and attempted "sticks" and IV's and a bruise that extends from my wrist to my elbow on my left arm. The cure is apparently worse than the disease!

I have to clarify that yesterdays and today’s blogs are being written on my iPad which is much more difficult to work on considering its small “brain” capacity and the extremely poor internet service that this “resort” provides.  I lost yesterday’s blog three times before I finally gave up and went to bed. For some reason the iPad gets to a point where what I have written just disappears.  Most frustrating but probably good for you so you don’t have to listen to 42 pages of my latest adventure 

The one good thing about this place is that the food is actually very good.  Or maybe it just seems that way because it is the only thing to look forward to.  Yesterday’s breakfast, lunch and TURKEY dinner were really tasty.  The fish for lunch was delicious even though the rice that was served with it tasted like shredded cardboard.  Dessert of some sort of lemon chiffon was so yummy it made up for the rice fail.  But when Thanksgiving dinner finally arrived a day late it was all worth the wait.  The turkey was so thick and moist, the mashed potatoes were fabulous and the grilled vegetables were delish.  

I know you’re probably thinking it is the drugs talking, or maybe I’ve just forgotten what good food tastes like but when you consider I’m not on any “good” drugs and my diet for the past four years has been a toss between Burger King and Mac Donald’s, the food here is really wonderful AND I didn’t have to cook it !! Today they brought in a menu for the following week and it gave me a little glimmer of sunlight in this dreary situation.  Cheese omelets, frittatas,(what ever they are), garlic herb pork loin and chicken Alfredo among other culinary delights.  We won't even go to the desserts that I have had so far.  Although they are far smaller than what I would normally eat they are super yummy.  The brownie strawberry trifle that was served with lunch today was so good I really wanted the recipe. 

We have all experienced that dinner out when you order the one item on the menu that sounds so delicious that your mouth is watering by the time it is served only to find that the chef should be writing science fiction novels rather than cooking because the actual food tastes nothing like what you were envisioning from the description on the menu.  When the meat loaf tastes like canned dog food it just ruins your meal. So far this has not been the case in this resort where the food actually tastes better than anything I imagined .  

Yet even with enjoying the food here I am ready to break out and head home.  I have actually,  (honestly I really did do this), checked the windows in the room to see if they would open, (more for some fresh air than escape.)  Thoughts of an escape down a rope made of sheets has crossed my mind several times.  Not that I would have to go to such an extreme because these poor nurses and aids are so overworked I could walk down the hall naked, ride down the elevator and cross the parking lot before anyone would notice.  (And considering the absolute disaster in design the hospital gowns leave so much of your body exposed you might as well be naked. That would be preferable to getting tangled in the numerous strings that hang from these gowns yet serve no practical purpose. Added to that some genius added sleeves that snap together so the nurses can get them on and off you easily except the the snaps don't stay closed so you end up with yards of fabric flapping from your arms like wings on a a 747.  The dangling sleeves then get tangled in the hanging strings which results in you choking to death. If you manage to avoid death by strangulation the best is that all the while you are fighting with strings and snaps on flapping sleeves your butt is a full moon rising phase, totally exposed for all the world to see. My boobs are hanging out the front, my ass is hanging out the back and then they attach twenty pounds of wire and a battery box in the front pocket of this thing so they can monitor your heart. Given the amount of energy I expended in trying to keep the hospital gown ON and closed in the proper places it's a wonder that who ever is monitoring these heart machines didn't think I was wrestling alligators in my room. 

BUT I survived and made it home ! Keri, Steve and the kids picked me up from the hospital and drove me home. The kids walked me up the sidewalk from the car to the condo to make sure I would make it. After they left I had to sit down because that small walk totally winded me.  I have a new found appreciation for what The Man experiences with his COPD.  If what I am experiencing with my breathing is even one one hundredth of what he lives with on a daily basis he is one tough cookie. You know how good it feels when you are out on a crisp Autumn day and take a wonderful deep breath of fresh air?  It's almost like you can taste the freshness of the air? Well I feel as if I am breathing through lungs filled with cotton balls. When I'm just sitting quietly here in my recliner I feel normal but as soon as I start doing anything more than walking across the room the cotton fills my lungs so that I am aware of breathing.  Breathing is one of those things we take for granted and don't ever think about.  We just do it ! Now I am conscious of inhaling air.  It's crazy !!!   I walked out to pick up the paper this morning and as soon as I stepped out the door I could feel wet air enter my lungs.  Wet air is harder to breathe than dry air, a fact that my brain knew but I really never gave. much thought to. The Man will tell me he has to go inside because the air is "Too Heavy" but I never realized just how that feels to someone who can't breathe normally. NOW I GET IT!

So I guess all this is a lesson from the Guy Upstairs to make me more aware of what The Man down here is living with. I have a totally new found appreciation for this wonderful person I live with that will stay with me until he does something stupid. 

I am eternally grateful to God that he did not give me cancer so I could experience what Husband had to deal with.  

THANKSGIVING MEATLOAF

 I don’t care who you are . . . .you eat TURKEY On Thanksgiving !

And had it been a normal thanksgiving that is exactly what we would have had but instead God is up to his tricks again and is playing with me.  Funny Guy !

Our day started out quite nice and normal. We were going to cook our own turkey and eat at home by ourselves, being responsible and social distancing from my kids and grandkids. I would drive over to my daughters late in the day to visit with her family and my son, Kent, and his kids.  Into ideal but it would work.

We got up yesterday morning and had a quiet breakfast while reading the paper out on the lanai. Around 10:30 we came in to stuff the bird and get it into the oven.  And this is where it all fell apart.  I started feeling yucky.  Headache, clammy, short of breath. I took my blood pressure and it was high even for me. So I did what any mature adult would do in this situation . . .  I took an aspirin and sat down.  Fifteen minutes later things had not improved so I went into hyper anxiety mode.  It was at this point I thought I should mention to The Man that something was going on.  His reaction was to go into “man mode” and start playing twenty questions. This approach went no where so he suggested we call “SOME ONE”. I’m not quite sure who he had in mind, perhaps the pizza delivery guy, so I said that I thought we should call 911. This now alerted him to the fact that I was seriously not feeling well. And he rose to the occasion . . . Now I hav witnessed this man make hundreds of phone calls to insurances people, doctors, whatever and he ALWAYS takes forever to get to the point of his call. Not so yesterday . . . He was amazing  answering all the questions, giving pertinent information and above all . . . He was CALM !  Within minutes the EMT’s had arrived and whisked me away in one of the three emergency vehicles that were all parked in the middle of the street in front of our building, thus alerting every senior citizen in the complex that some one was croaking.  Now thankfully because it was thanksgiving morning most folks were either preparing their feasts or watching the Macy’s parade because I only had one busybody standing in the middle of the street trying to see who was the latest casualty to old age. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my ride in an ambulance !  As the EMT’s were sticking needles in me and checking various body parts they entertained me with a running chatter which put me at ease and probably helped drop my blood pressure by twenty points.  Our arrival at the hospital five minutes later was swift and smooth.  I knew  I wasn’t going to die any time soon because there were no sirens and the flashing lights were turned off as soon as we pulled away from my house. We can actually walk to our hospital if we wanted to so we arrived seconds later and I got settled in an exam room at the ER.   

It should be mentioned that I was NOT dressed for the occasion.  To put it mildly.   I had considered telling The Man to wait on his phone call while I changed into something more presentable but                 A. I wasn’t sure I had the energy to do that and         B. The Man would have told me I was nuts.           And so I arrived wearing my every day/go to/ comfy clothes which cnsist of a ratty pair of baggy shorts and a bathing suit tank top. I was  NOT looking good. Not only that but I had no shoes on and my hair was a mess.  So as I sat in the Sam room in the ER I can only imagine what the nurses were saying about the crazy woman in room 10. Every single person ho came in to examine me and run tests asked the same question . . . “Oh, were you at the pool?. To which I had to reply “No” I always dress this way.  

 And so after six hours in the ER I am admitted to room 355 . . . A private room with a lovely southern exposure that has allowed me to sit in a chair in the sun all day today.  And it looks like I will get to do the same thing tomorrow.  

 Bottom line . . .  My heart is fine, even though I am wearing a clunky heart monitor with wires that are stuck all over my chest and fall off on a average of every fifteen minutes. What I DO have is double       pneumonia !   Well knock me over with a feather !  What the hell ????  After doing a chest x-ray yesterday this is what brought me in here.  I tested negative for COVID so no worries that but pneumonia? Seriously w ?  Where it came from I have no idea   It is not the bacterial kind that is easily spread so how I got it is a good guess.  What I do know is that I’m on heavy duty intravenous antibiotic and I’m not going home today.

But as with all things in my life I am enjoying myself.   Peace and quiet in a comfortable bed 

HAPPY HURRIED THANKSGIVING

 Well it's "That" time of the year again where we all get ourselves worked up and crazy. Or at least     Crazier than usual.  Thanksgiving is upon us and Christmas isn't far behind so it's rush rush rush to get everything done. 

Thanksgiving dinner preparations include shopping for and preparing food and most importantly . . .  cleaning the house !  Heaven forbid we have a holiday and the house is not clean. The fact that the furniture will be loaded with turkey grease marks from little hands on the day of Thanksgiving and there will be crumbs and globs of food spattered under and around the table makes no difference.  The house MUST be clean before the guests arrive. 

Thanks to Covid we will not be spending the day with any of the family, which makes me sad, but no matter, the house must still be clean.  The Man and I are cooking our first Thanksgiving dinner together and so far it is actually very enjoyable. I have done all the shopping but he is so excited to make the stuffing and whip the potatoes that it may turn out to be a nice holiday after all.  We were planning on going to Keri's house where Kent and his kids would join us but I came to my senses as the virus numbers are increasing. The Man can't take the chance of catching this nasty germ so we will celebrate at home by ourselves.  I will probably ride over to visit all the family later in the day when we can all sit outside and socially distance ourselves.  And maybe I will even luck out and get a piece of pumpkin pie that my son-in-law Steve is famous for. 

Then after tomorrow the rush is on to prepare for Christmas !  I have always done my Christmas shopping during the year, filling closets with fun stuff that I pick up along the way. Thankfully our condo is small enough that I am limited to only a few hiding spots so the likelihood of finding a bunch of intended gifts some time in February is cut to a bare minimum.  Add to shopping the gift wrapping, decorating, baking and Christmas cards it gets to be a pretty hectic couple of months. 

Heaven forbid I should not have enough to keep me busy in November and December I have also scheduled to have my shoulder surgery on December first. I have been to see the surgeon so we are all set to get this done before Christmas so I will be pretty much recovered by the time Santa arrives.  At least that was the plan. I spent last week and the beginning of this week running around to doctors and labs and doing numerous video calls with the hospital and whom ever for all the pre-op stuff that needs to get done.  All was going smoothly until Monday night when I felt a very sore spot at the top of my leg. When I checked it out it looked like a boil that usually announces a flare up of MRSA, a particularly nasty staff infection that I apparently carry around in my body. I have had this for well over fifty years but up until this past March I never knew much about it.  How ever and when ever it all started I have no idea. I just know that every couple of years I would get a very painful but small lump somewhere on the midsection of my body.  I would treat it like a pimple, washing it often with alcohol, (not my Jim Beam but rubbing alcohol), and in a week or so it would just disappear.  Then last March when I was prepping for my original shoulder surgery date I was tested in the hospital for MRSA and low and behold I tested positive !  Big surprise to me !  Surgery was cancelled, which was good because Covid was just starting to shut down the hospitals.  I took an anti-biotic for a couple of days, the boil went away and thought nothing more of it. 

I should have known better !  I called my surgeon yesterday, Tuesday, exactly one week from my surgery date and told him about the sore on my leg.  That was when the proverbial shit hit the fan.  After numerous phone calls the surgery is postponed . . .  hopefully for only one week . . .  But then the surgeon wanted me to go to my dermatologist to get this thing checked out before we do any cutting and pasting on my shoulder. (They actually do "paste" me back together. The incision will be sealed with GLUE !) Surgeon called Dermatologist and Dermatologist called me and at 8:30 this morning I was in the dermatologist's office getting a boil sliced open.  Talk about a lousy way to start your day ! By 8:45 I was in my car on the way to Publix to drop off a prescription for a strong antibiotic that will probably give me a mouth full of sores. (Sulphur based meds do that to me but the doc wants me on this particular medication because it is the best at treating MRSA. )  Next I made a stop at Bealls outlet to pick up a package of mens boxer shorts.  (It just keeps getting sillier and sillier.)  With the possibility of giving TMI, too much information, I was told not wear regular undies because they will rub on the boils incision. So I'm going very "Butch" and wearing men's undies.  I may get used to this !  If this gets out I will be banned from Victorias Secret forever.  Although I have NEVER in my life been in that store.  Most of their "intimate" items scare the hell out of me. 

I made it back home by 9:30 just in time for my video call with my Cardiologist. (Another pre-op requirement for me.) After chatting with him he decided I needed to increase one of my medications so now I had two things to pick up at Publix.  During the Cardiologist phone call we discussed the need for me to CHANGE MY DIET and get more exercise.  As I turned off my computer, ending the video call. The Man said, "Lets go get a burger !  

Now in my heart I know I should have said "NO" and then sat down with a bowl of yogurt and fruit and taken a bit of a rest after the hectic morning and past week. But you all know me so much better than that. In the next few minutes I was in the car headed out to mail off 3 Christmas packages that needed to get shipped before my surgery. (My Christmas cards are done but I will hold off mailing them till at least the day after Thanksgiving.). Next we stopped to get gas in The Man's car and low and behold the gas station just happened to be next to Culver's Butter Burger restaurant and drive through.  If you have never had a Culvers burger let me tell you that it is THE most delicious burger ever.  After Culvers we stopped to pick up the two prescriptions and then came home.  

We arrived back home at 11:42 AM . . .   all this had transpired BEFORE twelve noon !!!!!   

The man is now taking a two hour nap because he is exhausted. I sat down for a few minutes to write this because it has been a while.  After I finish I need to go finish up the last step in making the yogurt that I started last night.  

I'm going to be VERY happy to have surgery in a week or two, (Hopefully!) so that I will be forced to do nothing for a while.  It's a great dream, if only it works out that way.  

SENIOR CITIZEN HIGH

 Sorry to disappoint anyone who is looking for a blog about drugs . . .  stop reading now and look elsewhere. Although I often joke about "drugs" today's "HIGH" refers to the disappointingly LOW expectations one has when they are true Senior Citizens.  

It is Friday the 13th and I am driving an hour north to visit with my cousin who just celebrated her 90th birthday.  That is an awesome accomplishment in anyones life and I truly hope I get there  . . . eventually. And I truly hope that when I am ninety I am still feeling as good as I do now and have not turned into an OLD person.  Sadly cousin Lu has gotten old and has reached that stage of her life where the alternative to living is much more appealing.  I can write more about that after I see her today. But after talking to Cousin Lu yesterday to confirm our "lunch date" I got to thinking about my expectations of life which has spurred me to write todays blog.

Do you ever stop to think about the "HIGH POINTS" of your life ?  Take a few minutes and consider the best things that you have experienced while on this earth.  Forget the aches and pains and problems you have had to deal with all your life and think about those times when you were happy to be alive.  How long is THAT list ?  I know the list of complaints and problems and "bad" times can sometimes overwhelm us but how about the good times ?  

My list takes up an entire volume the size of Webster's Unabridged Dictionary!  (Not that anyone under the age of 60 even knows what that is but the rest of us can remember the size of that sucker.") I do realize that as we age our expectations and goals are considerably reduced but sometimes we really do let it get out of hand.

Consider The Man . . .   Yesterday I was out at a doctor's appointment for my semi-annual check up. I got a shingles shot to keep me safe from that nasty little ailment and I also got a cortisone shot in my hand. I did a lot of crocheting this past summer and my right hand apparently did not like getting all that use.  I ended up with a "trigger finger" which is a pretty silly thing.  My middle finger locks in a bent position at odd times during the day. It is semi-painful but more annoying than anything.  I mean,  consider trying to flip someone "The Bird" and you can't straighten out your finger !  It's just awful !  I just happened to mention this annoyance to my doctor and she kindly gave me an injection into the tendon of my hand that really seems to be helping. 

But back to The Man . . .   I arrived home from the doctor and I was greeted by a happy man who stated that he had a very good morning. (Considering that he goes no where without me I couldn't imagine what had made him so cheerful. Perhaps one of my sexy 85 year old neighbor widows had paid him a visit?) But no, The Man was so happy with himself because . . .  wait for it . . .  he had set up his weekly dose of pills !!!!!!!!!!!!  I swear to you I honestly thought he had won the Florida Lottery the way he was talking.  I congratulated him on his exciting morning and went into the bedroom where I could process this without either busting out laughing or crying over the fact that THIS was a "high" point of The Man's day.

I guess it's all relative but I do think we need to take a moment and consider what we are doing with our lives. If sitting down and arranging your weekly dose of medication in a little plastic box makes you feel the same as climbing Mt. Everest that maybe you need to make some changes in your life.  Life is tough, especially when you have health issues but you don't need to give in and lower your expectations that far. 

I asked the man to accompany me to Cousin Lu's today but he told me it was too much of a hassle to bring his oxygen so he will stay home alone here today and count the droplets of water dripping into the sink. No, he didn't say that but that is what it amounts to. We have returned to sunny Florida and The Man sits in the kitchen, (remember that is is favorite room in his MI house), until I say, "let's sit outside". 

I think I will still strive for higher "HIGH POINTS" . . .  right after I get back from today's trip to see my cousin.  THAT IS NOT a high point of my week !

FAIRY GARDEN TSUNAMI

 So it seems that I am not the only one having issues these days. Ever since we returned to Florida from Michigan it has not stopped raining, or so it seems.  Oh, there have been a few bright spots of sunshine to brighten our days but for the most part it has been like living in a tropical rain forest during monsoon season.  The afternoon thunder storms that plague South Florida in the summer are still around so that almost every afternoon you can count on a shower. It is getting a little better in that the temperatures are now in the low to mid 80's as opposed to high 80's low 90's.  No matter what I am still VERY happy to be here. 

What we did not see coming was the arrival of a hurricane this late in the season.  Normally hurricanes disappear by the end of October even though the "Official" hurricane season does not end until the first day of December.  This year we have been blessed to not have experienced any direct hits on the East coast of Florida, rather they all went straight into the Gulf of Mexico and headed directly for poor old Louisiana. (Is God trying to tell them something? Has Mardi Gras in New Orleans gotten too out of control?) What ever the reason I know it was NOT Donald Trumps fault !  (He has gotten blamed for EVERYTHING these days so I'm giving him a bye on hurricanes.). 

But before we could take a deep sigh of relief that we had survived yet another hurricane season ETA started to take form. This storm is a big mess! It should be ashamed of itself with its sloppy bands of rain and blustery winds. It is definitely NOT a well formed respectable hurricane yet it is dumping tons of water all over the place. I'm not even sure it ever got to be classified as a hurricane but it WAS a Tropical Storm and that was enough for all the media to go into panic mode and start issuing alerts and warnings every fifteen seconds. And as usual under these circumstances the entire population of Florida went into panic mode and even forgot about the Corona virus for a couple of hours. 

It all began in the middle of last week when the hype began.  "A TROPICAL STORM IS COMING !!!!"  It was being broadcast everywhere and if the folks in down town Miami hadn't boarded up their stores in anticipation of rioting if The Donald won the election they were boarding up the city in preparation for the "potentially dangerous storm".  "The sky is falling" yelled Chicken Little !  As you all well know in instances like this I chose to ignore it all.  For crying out loud, it's just some rain and wind! The weather forecasters on the news were all revved up because we were going to have wind gusts in excess of 120 mph !!! The flooding was going to be so severe the entire state of  Florida was going to be under water for weeks to come.   

Yet with all this panic going on I spent last Saturday with my two grand kids, Kaelin and Finn, shopping for our Fairy Garden. Out on the lanai we have an entire little village that we periodically up date and rearrange.  When I returned from Michigan last month my entire garden was a MESS !  Weeds all over the place, plants either growing out of control or dead and the fairy garden looking like something that had survived the apocalypse. What wasn't covered by weeds was knocked over and dirty. Paint was pealing and the fairies looked like they had been beat up and left for dead. It sort of reminded me of a scene from The Walking Dead. I knew we had to take a day and revive our little garden so I picked up the kids on Saturday and off we went to Hobby Lobby for some paint and other supplies. 

It was the perfect day !  Kaelin is my artist and Finn is the organizer.  Kaelin sat and repainted the smaller buildings and creatures while Finn spray painted fences and large buildings out on the grass outside the lanai.  (We know better than to let Finn paint inside the lanai !) By the end of the day Finn had rearranged the entire village and all was looking wonderful. (I actually did consider having the kids wait until after the storm to put everything back in the garden but they were so excited about their accomplishments we threw caution to the wind and set everything back into the garden.)

As of today the entire Fairy Village is under six inches of water !  Fairies are floating belly up, there is a pig and a tractor that have floated across the lanai onto the carpeting outside the kitchen door. Buildings are toppled, fences are ripped up and God only knows what has been covered up under the mud that has washed through the entire garden and lanai.  

Apparently the weather forecasters did not issue any warnings of Tsunamis in the area other wise I'm sure the Fairies would have headed for the hills even though we don't have hills in Florida. Sort looks like next weekend Kaelin and Finn will have to return to dig the bodies out of the rubble and rebuild the entire village. 

(And while we are doing this we WILL say some prayers for the poor people in Guatemala that were buried in mud slides this past weekend.  If a little rain can destroy our little garden village I can not imagine the devastation these poor people are experiencing.  They need all the prayers we can give.)

THE LAST LIGHT BULB

 Remember that poor old camel who broke his back because of that one last piece of straw ? You know . . . the "Straw that broke the camel's back" . . .   well, with me it is going to be Light Bulbs.  There is going to be just ONE last thing that is going to send me over the edge to either insanity, a cave high on a mountain in Tibet or possibly even death.  I am heading in one of those directions at the speed of light.

OK ,  I'm being just a bit melodramatic but honestly people, I am approaching my limit. (The fact that my "bar" for "limit" is set as low as a dachshund without legs doesn't help matters at all.)

Let's start with a well known fact that I have repeated in my blogs for years and years.  DO NOT CAUSE ME TO LOOSE SLEEP !  If I am woken too early we all know the proverbial "S---" will hit the proverbial fan for sure.  And this morning the shit not only hit the fan but it almost caused The Man to loose his life.

Let's back up a day or four to where all this started.  Saturday was Halloween and I went to my daughters that evening to hand out candy. SUNDAY I spent the entire day down at my Son's house with his three kids. (My grand daughter Grey had to go have a covid test so she can have an MRI done tomorrow. That adventure is for another day after we get some test results.). Anyway . . .  I was tired from the previous night's adventures so getting up at 8 on Sunday morning wasn't not going to be easy. The Man made it twice as difficult by setting his alarm for SEVEN and then leaving his phone in the bedroom when he got up at SIX.  Why did the chicken cross the road?  Who the hell knows which is also the answer to "Why did The Man get up at six?"  The Man, in his once again infinite wisdom, made an appointment to have the tires on his car rotated at 9 AM Sunday morning !!!!  WHO DOES THAT ?????????   I gather that his thought process, (if there actually was one), was that since I would be going out early he might as well do something productive while I was gone.  Being The Man who needs four days, thirty two hours and fifty seven minutes to get ready to do ANYTHING, he set his alarm for seven AM.  But when he woke up and got up at six AM he did not take his phone with him so his alarm woke ME an hour before I needed to get up.  

I was a bit miffed, (that is a mild form of pissed) but I shut off his phone, threw it into the toilet, NO, that's what I WANTED to do but I didn't, I just put it on the bathroom counter and went back to sleep for another hour until The Man woke me with these words . . . "WE have a problem".  

Now mind you, I am SOUND asleep and am woken up by The Man standing in the door way telling me that "WE" have a problem.  At least he knew enough to stand in the doorway because if he was within arms reach I would have had his throat in my hands.  I was half asleep when I asked what "Our" problem was so it took me a while to process the fact that the TV in the living room was not working. ( Like I gave a flying "F").   I dragged my body up out of the bed and staggered into the living room only to note that the TV was ON with a dark screen that had a message saying it was not working.  DUH !!!  I "calmly" explained that HE needed to call the cable company because I did not have the time.  I DID take the time to write down all the information he might need before I gathered myself together to make the 45 minute drive down to see the grand kids.   I AM TIRED !   It was a wonderful day though and I got home by 6:00 so we could have dinner. As soon as dinner was over I called the cable company,(because The Man did NOT call them.) and with in minutes the TV was working fine.  The joke being that the TV in the bedroom was working the entire time so The Man could have watched football all day had he only checked that TV OR made the one call to the cable company !  Dumb Ass !!

Ahhhhhhhh . . .   but it only gets better . Monday and Tuesday were full of doctor appointments for both of us and today I had to get up to go to the dentist at 11:00 AM. I figured an 11:00 dentist appointment would let me sleep a little and get ready to go at a leisurely pace. I did not factor in that yesterday was Election Day and we both sat up until almost 2:00 AM watching the debacle. We went to bed pretty sure our president was going to loose which caused me to have a disturbing nights sleep. That would have been bad enough but when The Man woke me at 5:47 this morning by turning on the bedroom TV I almost killed him.  I grabbed the blankets and pillow and pulled it all up and over my head giving The Man the message of "I AM NOT HAPPY!"  For the next hour I tossed and turned while envisioning the most painful ways I could kill The Man.  His death was going to be slow and painful !

By eight AM I finally gave up and got my butt out of bed, muttering all the while that I got dressed. I promised myself I would give The Man the benefit of declaring temporary insanity but when I stepped into the living room I lost it and told him exactly what I was thinking as I stomped through the room and out the kitchen door onto the lanai where I sat down to write this blog.  

It is now 6:30 in the evening and we are both still alive. I did apologize for my outburst and he apologized for being an idiot.  

I guess this whole election nonsense has both of us at our wits end.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE BRUSSEL SPROUTS

 Yesterday was Halloween.  For the past several years I have gone over to my daughter's house to hand out candy while the family goes out Trick or Treating through their neighborhood.  They live in an awesome gated community that celebrates the holidays in a BIG way.  The decorations are elaborate and the residents are out in full party mode.  Tables are set up in front of houses offering not only candy to the kids but all sorts of food and alcoholic beverages to the adults.  It's a fun place to be even in this year of quarantine and social distancing.  

This year my grand kids were very concerned that I would be exposed to nasty germ ridden children as I sat handing out goodies from the front yard. To avoid any contamination of grandma they decided to devise a way to keep me "socially distanced" from the costumed hoards who show up at their door. The first attempt was to build a ramp out of hot wheel track that would reach from the second floor balcony down to the driveway.  That did not work !  All thirteen feet of it kept falling apart and twisting around. Plan two was to build a ramp out of cardboard taped together and supported by one of dad's ladders.  The Man got wind of all this and decided he could build a chute from PVC pipe until he found out how expensive this pipe is. He then decided he could build a cheaper version of the chute from "drain field pipe" until he could not find anyone in a fifty mile radius that sold this type of pipe. This fact blew his mind because apparently this type of pipe is a dime a dozen in the UP where people actually have "drain fields". Florida being a state built on sand does not EVER create this type of drainage system so therefore no one sells this special type of pipe. At this point the kids went back to the chute plan which actually worked until it began to rain. About twenty minutes before it started to get dark enough to bring out the Trick or Treaters the sky opened and the cardboard chute "melted" into a large pile of instant mush.  Good thing the kids had a back up plan, (one that grand ma suggested days earlier). I sat upstairs on the balcony and when some kids came along I lowered a small bucket filled with candy for the kids to reach into. It was a huge hit with everyone who showed up and it kept me safe from germs. 

What this arrangement did NOT keep me safe from was the plethora of chocolate sitting in a large bowl next to my chair. For what ever reason this year my daughter chose to purchase the GOOD chocolate Halloween candy. The bowl was filled with mini Snickers, Milky Way, Kit Kat bars and my all time favorite, Nestlies Crunch.      OMG !    What was she thinking ???????   I could sit in a room filled with Skittles, Tootsie rolls and Jolly Ranchers and not even consider opening one and putting it into my mouth. But if you put a chocolate bar any where in a three mile radius of me it's all over. 

I arrived at My daughter's house around five o'clock after going to Saturday night mass.  Keri had made a lovely dinner of ribs, mashed potatoes and a delicious mix of Brussel Sprouts and Broccoli.  It sounds crazy but the veggies were REALLY good.  I didn't over do it with dinner but I did enjoy the really tasty meal.  When dinner was over everyone got into their costumes and headed out into the damp night for their two hour walk through the neighborhood leaving me alone with a huge bowl full of candy.  

By nine that night when the family was dragging their bones home laden with pillow cases full of goodies grand ma was ready to throw up.  I was very diligent in handing out the candy to the neighborhood kids but I did just happen to be a bit selective when it came to which candy went into the bucket and which candy went into my mouth.  There was not a single Crunch bar that made it into anyones bag, they ALL went into my mouth.  By the end of the evening there were still quite a few candy bars left so my daughter sent me home with a bag of candy "for The Man". Many of these did not survive the five minute drive from Keri's house to mine. The Man, not knowing any better, was delighted to get the small bag of goodies that I brought home. Little did he realize that the bag was twice the size before it got into my car with me.  

At 3 AM last night my stomach was rolling over and I knew it must have been those damn Brussel Sprouts !  That's the last time I eat those little suckers !