Nine years ago I turned 60 and was pissing and moaning (ME? Piss and moan? I know you can't believe that . HA!) that I was having this big birthday and no one would even notice or do anything special for "poor" me. My therapist of the time told me to stop wining and plan something for myself if I wanted to celebrate. And so I found myself with husband sailing across the carribean drinking rum punch for breakfast and having a fantastic birthday.
Today was almost as good !
I slept late and got up all excited about working in my Japanese garden on the lanai. Long story but when Jeanne and Frank were here this winter Jeanne had the brainstorm that I could transform my garden half of the lanai into a serene Japanese garden. The thought has stayed with me these past 4 months and thanks to husband the project got started a couple of days ago. My brain has been on full alert thinking about what I could do with the space and I have been on my hands and knees swearing up a storm working on moving rocks and rearranging plants. I have decided this would have been a lot easier to do ten years ago when we first bought the house but I am really enjoying the physical labor. As of today I have gone through half a bottle of Aleve and its worth every one.
But back to the birthday . . . I was up and working, took a couple of time outs for a few swims in the pool and then had to stop to get ready for dinner out. We met Ger's cousin Andy and his wife Rita at Guanabanas and had a fantastic dinner in the jungle. (It's a unique restaurant where all the seating is outside amidst the tropical trees and plants, situated right on the river o there is no "bad" table. I had a house specialty drink called a "Cat 5" for the hurricanes down here and it did blow me away! Dinner of blackened cobia and corn pudding was to die for and the no collate crunch cake for dessert wast bad either.
I talked to all the kids and grand kids ths evening, got gifts from Aunt Ann Marie, (chocolate covered strawberries, oh my!), Kyle, Kaelin,(a hand made ceramic something that I will cherish even if I don't know exactly what it is), beautiful flowers from Kristen and Kent, and gifts from Friends Jeanne, Sharon and Carol. I even had a phone call from niece Jeanne Marie. Into to mention all the birthday wishes on Facebook !
Fantastic day ! Thanks everyone !
Monday, April 28, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
EASTER LAUNDRY
For as many Easter baskets and Easter eggs we have here the pile of towels and sheets over shadows all. How I can be doing 5 loads of laundry a day since Monday and still have a pile the size of Mt. Everest ? Given the fact that my dryer is taking 2 cycles to actually produce DRY clothes this is a Herculean task. But I wouldn't trade it for the world !
Easter week was, in the words of miss Kaelin, age 6, "THE BEST WEEK EVER !" Kaelin was heard to say this several times during the week she and her family were here and I have to agree with her.
We started the party the Sunday before Easter when Kaelin, Finn and parents arrived at the air port with Grandma so excited I could nearly contain myself. We proceeded to have a great week of pampering, beach, pool, eating, a tea party for the girls, a visit to the Easter bunny at the mall and fun fun fun ! On Good Friday Kent drove up with the twins and Smith so that Smith could spend the weekend at Grand ma's with his cousins. Finn was more excited than a puppy with a squeaky toy. Finn and Smith ran and played with Kaelin joining in. We went to an Easter Egg Hunt at a neighborhood church on Saturday and all the kids and grown-ups had a wonderful time. Well done CHURCH OF THE LIVING OAKS! Best Easter Egg Hunt EVER ! (Once again, quoting Kaelin!) WE colored eggs with shaving cream and food coloring and that was more fun than any egg dying I have ever done. We also all wet our pants when Grand pa took the colored shaving cream and smeared it all over his face. Not that he looked THAT funny but the panic of realizing it would stain his face green cracked us all up! Well done grand pa. That green ear was hardly noticeable at Easter Sunday mass !
Sad to say everyone left Sunday afternoon and left grand ma and grand pa in a state of exhaustion and shear joy. It was a FANTASTIC week. Lets do it again . . . . NEXT YEAR !
Easter week was, in the words of miss Kaelin, age 6, "THE BEST WEEK EVER !" Kaelin was heard to say this several times during the week she and her family were here and I have to agree with her.
We started the party the Sunday before Easter when Kaelin, Finn and parents arrived at the air port with Grandma so excited I could nearly contain myself. We proceeded to have a great week of pampering, beach, pool, eating, a tea party for the girls, a visit to the Easter bunny at the mall and fun fun fun ! On Good Friday Kent drove up with the twins and Smith so that Smith could spend the weekend at Grand ma's with his cousins. Finn was more excited than a puppy with a squeaky toy. Finn and Smith ran and played with Kaelin joining in. We went to an Easter Egg Hunt at a neighborhood church on Saturday and all the kids and grown-ups had a wonderful time. Well done CHURCH OF THE LIVING OAKS! Best Easter Egg Hunt EVER ! (Once again, quoting Kaelin!) WE colored eggs with shaving cream and food coloring and that was more fun than any egg dying I have ever done. We also all wet our pants when Grand pa took the colored shaving cream and smeared it all over his face. Not that he looked THAT funny but the panic of realizing it would stain his face green cracked us all up! Well done grand pa. That green ear was hardly noticeable at Easter Sunday mass !
Sad to say everyone left Sunday afternoon and left grand ma and grand pa in a state of exhaustion and shear joy. It was a FANTASTIC week. Lets do it again . . . . NEXT YEAR !
 |
| "this is fun" |
 |
| Finn racing Smith |
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| Which way did he go? |
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| Shaving cream egg coloring |
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| Pssst Wynn, these people are nuts ! |
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| Pink and yellow nails ! |
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| Tea Parties require hats. |
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| Ready for the hunt |
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| Silly Smith |
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| Grand pa and Grey |
Friday, April 11, 2014
SLEEPING WITH A TOASTER OVEN
It has officially been one full year since H took his last chemo treatment. And that's how long the doctor said it would take for the poisons to leave H's body so he would finally start feeling GOOD again. And that is exactly what is happening. H is feeling better than he has in two years! And I am so happy for him.
BUT . . .
with recovery has come some changes in H. The whole chemo brain thing is what it is. I have days when I have so many brain farts I don't know if I'm coming or going. So we will give H some latitude with the brain. But this whole FREEZING thing is another story. H is always cold. Thank GOD we live in south Florida, especially after this past winter of snow and ice all over the country, except for us. But the man is still cold. I will have the AC in the car cranking because we are sitting in a toaster oven on wheels and H is putting on sweaters. Forget the AC in the house, if I put it at 75 the poor guy is huddled under blankets while wearing a snow hat and gloves. I'm dying here. My body temp is about that of a baked potato just out of the oven. I used to wear a sweater all winter in NY instead of a coat. The sweater was my winter coat because I was always so hot. I always swore I could NEVER live in Florida. Yet here I am.
Our bedroom is at the end of the AC duct line and so it is usually the warmest room in the house. I take three cold showers a night to remain cool enough to sleep while H is huddled under sheets, blanket and comforter, IN JULY ! If I try to turn on the ceiling fan to get some air to cool off with H begins to shiver. I have found that if I wait till he falls asleep at 9:30 by the time I go to bed at midnight I can very quietly click the fan chain three quick pulls and get the fan on low before H catches me. He can't understand why he is so cold when he wakes up in the morning even though he has ALL the covers pulled on top of him. Maybe tha bald head makes him cold. I'll have to knit him a stocking cap.
The man sits in the 80 degree sun drinking hot tea while I am in the pool pouring ice tea over my head. It's jus crazy here. Hot and cold don't mix but there is ONE up side to all this. Because H is always so cold he doesn't eat all the ice cream. All the more for me!
Thanks chemo !
BUT . . .
with recovery has come some changes in H. The whole chemo brain thing is what it is. I have days when I have so many brain farts I don't know if I'm coming or going. So we will give H some latitude with the brain. But this whole FREEZING thing is another story. H is always cold. Thank GOD we live in south Florida, especially after this past winter of snow and ice all over the country, except for us. But the man is still cold. I will have the AC in the car cranking because we are sitting in a toaster oven on wheels and H is putting on sweaters. Forget the AC in the house, if I put it at 75 the poor guy is huddled under blankets while wearing a snow hat and gloves. I'm dying here. My body temp is about that of a baked potato just out of the oven. I used to wear a sweater all winter in NY instead of a coat. The sweater was my winter coat because I was always so hot. I always swore I could NEVER live in Florida. Yet here I am.
Our bedroom is at the end of the AC duct line and so it is usually the warmest room in the house. I take three cold showers a night to remain cool enough to sleep while H is huddled under sheets, blanket and comforter, IN JULY ! If I try to turn on the ceiling fan to get some air to cool off with H begins to shiver. I have found that if I wait till he falls asleep at 9:30 by the time I go to bed at midnight I can very quietly click the fan chain three quick pulls and get the fan on low before H catches me. He can't understand why he is so cold when he wakes up in the morning even though he has ALL the covers pulled on top of him. Maybe tha bald head makes him cold. I'll have to knit him a stocking cap.
The man sits in the 80 degree sun drinking hot tea while I am in the pool pouring ice tea over my head. It's jus crazy here. Hot and cold don't mix but there is ONE up side to all this. Because H is always so cold he doesn't eat all the ice cream. All the more for me!
Thanks chemo !
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
WHY I DON'T ASK FOR HELP AND WHY I SHOULD BE ON PROZAC
Today was one of those days that reminded me why I don't usually ask for help with things around the house. I learned long ago that if something needed doing I should do it. Husband used to work 2 jobs so if the grass was growing up over the front door I would go out and mow it. If the car was sounding like it had a family of squirrels living under the hood I took it to the repair shop. That was just how it worked.
Then H retired and he suddenly felt he would and could help me with EVERYTHING, whether I wanted the help or not. For 35 years I moved the furniture, put up the Christmas lights and made the beds without any help. Now suddenly I can't go shopping alone.
I have made concessions and "asked" for help making the bed, emptying or filling the dish washer or even on occasion having help grocery shopping. All of the above cause me a great deal of anxiety even though I tell myself the sheets don't need to be all the way on the bed, it really is a help to have H take the dishes out of the dish washer only to leave them all over the kitchen counter and so what if I asked him to buy bread and he comes home with pizza. I have learned to "LET IT GO" and accept what I get.
But today brought home the reasons I WOULD RATHER DO IT MYSELF !
Having been in a grand Funk for the past several months I have done nothing around here. I have not been motivated to clean, organize or throw out anything. It was all mental but I just could NOT get moving. The birth of the twins seems to have broken the funk and I am now fired up to kick some ass around here as far as cleaning goes. Having Kaelin and Finn arriving this weekend adds to my energy so I have been attacking the back yard, lanai and the dreaded GARAGE PLAY ROOM. For the past several months the garage has become a pit of despair. Everything I couldn't face has been thrown into that room.
This morning I was fired up and first headed to the back yard to get out the inflatable slide. Ger had said he would blow it up but that means nothing. He went to the gym and I took advantage of the alone time to really attack the yard. By the time he came home he must have felt he had to help because out he came. I tried to tell him to go rest a while but he insisted he help. He got the extension cord, the little pump and sat down to inflate the slide. I can't even begin to tell you what went on from that point but suffice to say the slide is still not blown up. I think it has a hole in it and if I leave it over night it just may wind up in the garbage tomorrow. Husband exhausted himself sitting in the chair holding the pump so when I left at 3:00 to meet a friend he finally came inside to nap.
I came home recharged after a delish Starbucks chai tea and decided to attack the garage. I figured H was sitting quietly watching Fox News I just might get something done. I cleaned off the shelves holding all the cleaning and house hold products and found 6 bottles of long dead tonic water. I had just pulled them off the shelf when you know who arrived in the door way saying those dreaded 3 words, "CAN I HELP?" You know what I wanted to say but instead I handed him a bottle of tonic and asked him to empty it and the 5 others into the kitchen sink and put the empty bottles into the recycle bin. SIMPLE you say ??? It is a matter of walking 6 steps to the sink, pouring out the liquid, walking 6 steps back to the garage door and dropping the EMPTY bottles into the bin. I don't know how or what H was doing but as he dumped the bottles into the bin he also poured tonic all over the garage floor and into the bin. Seriously, I REALLY REALLY do NOT know how he could "empty" bottles and yet pour that much liquid all over the garage. In case you didn't know, Tonic Water is sticky when it hits the floor.
The garage is not clean yet because I had to stop what I was doing to mop the garage and kitchen floor.
I'm so glad I have a "HELPER" ! Where's the freaking Prozac ????????
Then H retired and he suddenly felt he would and could help me with EVERYTHING, whether I wanted the help or not. For 35 years I moved the furniture, put up the Christmas lights and made the beds without any help. Now suddenly I can't go shopping alone.
I have made concessions and "asked" for help making the bed, emptying or filling the dish washer or even on occasion having help grocery shopping. All of the above cause me a great deal of anxiety even though I tell myself the sheets don't need to be all the way on the bed, it really is a help to have H take the dishes out of the dish washer only to leave them all over the kitchen counter and so what if I asked him to buy bread and he comes home with pizza. I have learned to "LET IT GO" and accept what I get.
But today brought home the reasons I WOULD RATHER DO IT MYSELF !
Having been in a grand Funk for the past several months I have done nothing around here. I have not been motivated to clean, organize or throw out anything. It was all mental but I just could NOT get moving. The birth of the twins seems to have broken the funk and I am now fired up to kick some ass around here as far as cleaning goes. Having Kaelin and Finn arriving this weekend adds to my energy so I have been attacking the back yard, lanai and the dreaded GARAGE PLAY ROOM. For the past several months the garage has become a pit of despair. Everything I couldn't face has been thrown into that room.
This morning I was fired up and first headed to the back yard to get out the inflatable slide. Ger had said he would blow it up but that means nothing. He went to the gym and I took advantage of the alone time to really attack the yard. By the time he came home he must have felt he had to help because out he came. I tried to tell him to go rest a while but he insisted he help. He got the extension cord, the little pump and sat down to inflate the slide. I can't even begin to tell you what went on from that point but suffice to say the slide is still not blown up. I think it has a hole in it and if I leave it over night it just may wind up in the garbage tomorrow. Husband exhausted himself sitting in the chair holding the pump so when I left at 3:00 to meet a friend he finally came inside to nap.
I came home recharged after a delish Starbucks chai tea and decided to attack the garage. I figured H was sitting quietly watching Fox News I just might get something done. I cleaned off the shelves holding all the cleaning and house hold products and found 6 bottles of long dead tonic water. I had just pulled them off the shelf when you know who arrived in the door way saying those dreaded 3 words, "CAN I HELP?" You know what I wanted to say but instead I handed him a bottle of tonic and asked him to empty it and the 5 others into the kitchen sink and put the empty bottles into the recycle bin. SIMPLE you say ??? It is a matter of walking 6 steps to the sink, pouring out the liquid, walking 6 steps back to the garage door and dropping the EMPTY bottles into the bin. I don't know how or what H was doing but as he dumped the bottles into the bin he also poured tonic all over the garage floor and into the bin. Seriously, I REALLY REALLY do NOT know how he could "empty" bottles and yet pour that much liquid all over the garage. In case you didn't know, Tonic Water is sticky when it hits the floor.
The garage is not clean yet because I had to stop what I was doing to mop the garage and kitchen floor.
I'm so glad I have a "HELPER" ! Where's the freaking Prozac ????????
Monday, April 7, 2014
AND ONE MORE THING
I am NOT cleaning that up !
Do you know how many times a day I walk through this house and say those six words? HUNDREDS ! Well, at least ten. Mostly when I walk into the bathroom but then there are the peanut shells all over the den floor, news papers from last week, cups and drinking glasses from yesterday and candy wrappers stuffed down the side of his chair.
What the hell was I thinking when I handed H the bag of peanuts to eat in the house. Peanuts are like lobster . . . NEVER NEVER NEVER do you eat that in the house !!
And to think that a year ago I was worried that H wasn't eating.
As for the bathroom . . . that is just too disgusting to even think about !
Do you know how many times a day I walk through this house and say those six words? HUNDREDS ! Well, at least ten. Mostly when I walk into the bathroom but then there are the peanut shells all over the den floor, news papers from last week, cups and drinking glasses from yesterday and candy wrappers stuffed down the side of his chair.
What the hell was I thinking when I handed H the bag of peanuts to eat in the house. Peanuts are like lobster . . . NEVER NEVER NEVER do you eat that in the house !!
And to think that a year ago I was worried that H wasn't eating.
As for the bathroom . . . that is just too disgusting to even think about !
WHAT'S THAT NOISE ?
I bought a book for the grand kids. It's called " What's That Noise, Little Mouse?" (by Stephanie Stansbie and Polona Lovsin) It's a cute book that advertises on the front cover;
A FUN-FILLED BOOK OF SURPRISE SOUNDS !
As I thumbed through the book after bringing it home I got to thinking I should write and record my own book based on all the sounds I hear in the space of a day. I'm not talking chirping birds or gently splashing waves, I'm talking the "inside" noises that even manage to drown out the sound of Fox News. I can only imagine what the neighbors think on those beautiful days when the windows are open. Thankfully that doesn't happen that often or we might be dealing with police being called to save the neighbors from the rampaging water buffalo that resides here.
Yes, once again I am talking about Husband. He has always been loud but lately he is excessively noisy. He sits in his chair and lets out the weirdest sounds. He grunts, snorts, bellows, (as in GARUMPH!) for no apparent reason. He has the normal bodily sounds of loud, persistent burping, the snort that is brought on when he half dozes off and wakes himself up, stomach growling that can be heard for miles and the sneeze that rattles windows and blows the pillows off the couch. But then there are the noises that he chooses to make. He whistles, whines, snorts, bellows, burps, grunts, groans and gurgles.
But by far, the MOST annoying noise is his breathing. Now, if I could only get him to stop breathing I would be in heaven ! Lest you think I am being cruel, let me explain. Most people breathe quietly. You DO NOT hear the air being taken in or expelled out. Maybe, on occasion, someone may have a cold or sinus problems and their breathing causes a slight whistle or such. I'm not talking about those sort of sounds. I'm talking sounds that can be heard from one end of the house to the other. (A good thing in the case of not being able to be surprised by H just appearing out of no where.) I can hear this man coming a mile away. It seems that he needs to add sound effects to his normal breathing, perhaps to prove to himself that he is, indeed, alive.?
Breathing in, usually results in a type of whistling intake of breath but exaggerated beyond belief. There's a woof whistle whine sort of sound that mimics the sound of a small vacuum. Annoying as that is, it is the exhale that REALLY gets me. I've written before about H R HUFF-N-PUFF and so this isn't something new. H just came into the bedroom to see what I was doing and I could hear him coming. "HUFF, PUFF, POOF, OOFF, PUFF PUFF PUFF". He is like the little engine that could. I am sad to admit that these noises MAKE ME CRAZY !
And Heaven forbid the noises should be contained in the house. The other day at church I was getting into the quiet zone of prayer when I started to hear the piff piff piff sound of H blowing out little puffs of air onto his clasped hands. That's when I slowly start to slide away from him along the pew and pretend I am with the family to my left.
I should be happy he is still breathing . . . . BUT . . .
A FUN-FILLED BOOK OF SURPRISE SOUNDS !
As I thumbed through the book after bringing it home I got to thinking I should write and record my own book based on all the sounds I hear in the space of a day. I'm not talking chirping birds or gently splashing waves, I'm talking the "inside" noises that even manage to drown out the sound of Fox News. I can only imagine what the neighbors think on those beautiful days when the windows are open. Thankfully that doesn't happen that often or we might be dealing with police being called to save the neighbors from the rampaging water buffalo that resides here.
Yes, once again I am talking about Husband. He has always been loud but lately he is excessively noisy. He sits in his chair and lets out the weirdest sounds. He grunts, snorts, bellows, (as in GARUMPH!) for no apparent reason. He has the normal bodily sounds of loud, persistent burping, the snort that is brought on when he half dozes off and wakes himself up, stomach growling that can be heard for miles and the sneeze that rattles windows and blows the pillows off the couch. But then there are the noises that he chooses to make. He whistles, whines, snorts, bellows, burps, grunts, groans and gurgles.
But by far, the MOST annoying noise is his breathing. Now, if I could only get him to stop breathing I would be in heaven ! Lest you think I am being cruel, let me explain. Most people breathe quietly. You DO NOT hear the air being taken in or expelled out. Maybe, on occasion, someone may have a cold or sinus problems and their breathing causes a slight whistle or such. I'm not talking about those sort of sounds. I'm talking sounds that can be heard from one end of the house to the other. (A good thing in the case of not being able to be surprised by H just appearing out of no where.) I can hear this man coming a mile away. It seems that he needs to add sound effects to his normal breathing, perhaps to prove to himself that he is, indeed, alive.?
Breathing in, usually results in a type of whistling intake of breath but exaggerated beyond belief. There's a woof whistle whine sort of sound that mimics the sound of a small vacuum. Annoying as that is, it is the exhale that REALLY gets me. I've written before about H R HUFF-N-PUFF and so this isn't something new. H just came into the bedroom to see what I was doing and I could hear him coming. "HUFF, PUFF, POOF, OOFF, PUFF PUFF PUFF". He is like the little engine that could. I am sad to admit that these noises MAKE ME CRAZY !
And Heaven forbid the noises should be contained in the house. The other day at church I was getting into the quiet zone of prayer when I started to hear the piff piff piff sound of H blowing out little puffs of air onto his clasped hands. That's when I slowly start to slide away from him along the pew and pretend I am with the family to my left.
I should be happy he is still breathing . . . . BUT . . .
Saturday, April 5, 2014
LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Twice this past week I was fortunate enough to spend some time away from H and laugh with some nice women I have become friends with down here in Florida.
The first occasion was with Judy and it involved lunch at one of my favorite scenic eateries out on the intercostal up in Tequesta. In spite of the numerous annoying flies lunch was tasty and the female companionship was Devine ! Judy's husband suffers from dementia so we have a lot in common, although "chemo brain H" is not nearly as bad as Judy's man. The fellows do have a rash in common and the exchange of horror stories had us rolling in laughter. IT FELT SO GOOD TO LAUGH !
Occasion number two was coffee at Starbucks with friend Carol. I got telling her the stories of the common problems that Judy and I shared and Carol was so horrified that it sent the two of us off into gales of laughter.
God may give you lemons in life but as long as there are friends to bring the sugar nothing is that bad.
The first occasion was with Judy and it involved lunch at one of my favorite scenic eateries out on the intercostal up in Tequesta. In spite of the numerous annoying flies lunch was tasty and the female companionship was Devine ! Judy's husband suffers from dementia so we have a lot in common, although "chemo brain H" is not nearly as bad as Judy's man. The fellows do have a rash in common and the exchange of horror stories had us rolling in laughter. IT FELT SO GOOD TO LAUGH !
Occasion number two was coffee at Starbucks with friend Carol. I got telling her the stories of the common problems that Judy and I shared and Carol was so horrified that it sent the two of us off into gales of laughter.
God may give you lemons in life but as long as there are friends to bring the sugar nothing is that bad.
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