If you have been reading my nonsense for any amount of time, (like a week), you will by now have realized that although I do love men they drive me NUTS ! Even the very best of the breed can be just plain DUMB without even trying.
But then I DO realize that 90% of my issues with the opposite sex is me. God help these poor men who take me into their lives.
I have always been a fan of the guys. Being an only child I would often hang out with my dad because my mom was busy taking care of . . . well, EVERYTHING !!! I didn't realize it as a kid or even as a young adult that my mom was amazing and a real live Super Wonder Woman. She took care of my 2 grand pa's, paid the bills, ran everything in the house and had to put up with a young child who was more often than not, a brat ! My father went to work and brought home the money. Not to say he didn't work his ass off but he had it easy compared to what my mother did. God love my dad that he spent a lot of time with me in order to give my mother a break. I learned all about the tools in his shop and how to use them AND how to take care of them. Husband NEVER learned that lesson and it seems that Mr. Man isn't as good at it as he likes to make you think he is.
Today I asked The Man for a box cutter. Not a big item, just a plain old razor in a holder. His answer to this request was the same answer that I have gotten for the last two hundred things I have asked about . . . "Oh I'm sure I have one around here someplace" . . . but he has yet to successfully find one single thing.
I have told you before about the size of this house, (not large), and the amount of furniture that it contains. There are cabinets, drawers, shelves galore and each and every one of them is packed to overflowing. In a bedroom with three dressers in it I have managed to eke out TWO drawers. The remainder of the space is FILLED with crap and stuff and shit. If The Man owns one tee shirt he owns fifty but only wears the same three day after day. I don't get that but what ever.
So when I ask for something it is no surprise to me that he has NO idea where it could be. I'm beginning to think he just doesn't want to be bothered when I need something . . . it's just easier to say he can't find it. So I took things into my own hands today and ventured into the garage, which by the way is the same size as the house I raised my family in . . . 30' X 50' . . . Thats a BIG garage. but having been here for a while I'm beginning to know where I MIGHT find this or that. I was sure I could find a box cutter some where in the mess of stuff out there so I waited until The Man was on another part of the property with his mower and I quickly made my dash out to the garage. The Man must have an alarm wired into his mower because I wasn't in the building two seconds before I heard him coming. Sure enough he stopped just outside the door and yelled in, "What are you doing?" Not nasty or anything, just asking. I told him I was looking for a box cutter and his answer was, "Well it's not out here." Now I ask you . . . if you know it's NOT "out here" then you must have a pretty good idea of where it IS . . . am I wrong ?? The box cutter is just the tip of the iceberg. I've have been looking for different garden tools and so far I have not had The Man be able to tell me where to find a single thing. I was looking for a weed whacker, which he says he has, BUT has no idea where it is.
How the "F" do you misplace a weed whacker ? I give up . . .
Which brings me to THE EXCEPTION . . . My BFF Sharon is married to a man who, if I am not mistaken, actually takes care of his toys. Bob is not the perfect man . . . We know "The Perfect Man" is as illusive as a unicorn, but Bob knows how to take care of his stuff. He has a shop that is probably cleaner than my living room. I can not imagine him not knowing where the box cutter or the weed whacker are. And unlike Husband they would not be sitting in the middle of the living room !
I don't know what's worse, a man who can't find anything or a man who left everything laying all over the place . . .
Sunday, May 31, 2020
Saturday, May 30, 2020
THE HEALING POWER OF A BROOM
A broom in my hands brings out the bitch in me . . . oh wait, I mean it brings out the WITCH in me. Well which ever, I do like me a good broom. And yes, there are bad brooms and good brooms and it makes a tremendous difference in how you feel when you use one. I happen to love my broom in Florida. I paid about two dollars for it at a local discount store many years ago and I have not been disappointed yet. My Florida broom is soft enough to slide easily across the floor but stiff enough to actually move any dirt it may encounter. The tips of each bristle is slightly frayed so it brushes across a surface nice and smooth while picking up what ever is on the floor. . And you know it encounters a LOT of stuff on the floor in my house. (Dust bunnies beware!)
But I am not in Florida right now and I need to adjust to SO many things being different. Start with the well water that I have written about in the past, move on to the mattress on our bed that is MUCH harder than the one in Florida. Then there is the fact that D likes to keep his house much warmer than I am used to so I am always sneaking around turning the thermostat down or sliding a window open when he isn't looking.
In Michigan we cook on a gas stove, I'm used to electric stoves which require a totally different method of cooking. (Gas stoves heat up instantly, electric stoves stay hot long after being turned off)
But it is the BROOMS that are REALLY different. First off, I own ONE broom. It is used inside and outside. Granted my condo is small and outside is a screened in lanai so we don't get too much heavy duty dirt. Fast forward to the woods of Michigan . . . The Man is currently in position of at least SIX brooms. There is one in the house that I hate and five others scattered around the outside of the house and in the garage and shed. NOT ONE of these six broom is worth shit ! They are ALL, the inside one included, SO old and bent that you can't really sweep with them. Apparently they have never been used and have just been left standing in one spot for the last thirty-seven years thus explaining the right angle bend in the bristles. Have you ever tried sweeping up anything other than cotton balls with a broom who's bristles are bent in the middle? Can't do it !! The only thing these brooms accomplish is to press the dirt into what ever surface you are sweeping.
Today we worked outside in the yard. The Man's "yard" consists of sixteen acres of fields and woods. That's quite some yard to take care of. (He is just telling me that he only mows two acres of grass on a regular basis, the other acres of field area he cuts with the "bush hog" every month or so.) It's a lot to manage especially for someone who is on oxygen 24/7 but he LOVES riding on his toys and taking care of his property.
Enter ME . . . So far he has not shown any desire to teach me to operate the ride-on mower or the tractor. Very smart on his part !! (For those of you who ever rode in my car with me you know what I'm talking about.) So while The Man is circling the house forty two times on his mower I get to play with the things that are planted around the house. And there is a lot planted around the house. There are peony's, roses, iris, tulips, roses and God only knows what else. All of it has not been touched in about ten years so it is really overgrown and messy. Besides the plants there are two cement patios that are in constant need of sweeping, thus the frustration over the broom issue.
Today I was feeling yucky . . . just a down day both mentally and physically. I had a lousy nights sleep, (thanks to the hard mattress), and it was raining this morning. The perfect storm for a yucky mood. But as the day progressed the sun began to come out and it turned into the most beautiful, if not cold, day. D had disappeared outside to ride on his mower, (but I think he was just escaping me) so I decided I needed some fresh air too.
Four hours later the garden is starting to look like it might actually look like a garden rather than an empty lot that's been abandoned for many years. And even though the broom situation frustrated me the entire time I feel a thousand times better than I did this morning.
Just imagine how fantastic I'd be feeling if I had my Florida broom with me !
But I am not in Florida right now and I need to adjust to SO many things being different. Start with the well water that I have written about in the past, move on to the mattress on our bed that is MUCH harder than the one in Florida. Then there is the fact that D likes to keep his house much warmer than I am used to so I am always sneaking around turning the thermostat down or sliding a window open when he isn't looking.
In Michigan we cook on a gas stove, I'm used to electric stoves which require a totally different method of cooking. (Gas stoves heat up instantly, electric stoves stay hot long after being turned off)
But it is the BROOMS that are REALLY different. First off, I own ONE broom. It is used inside and outside. Granted my condo is small and outside is a screened in lanai so we don't get too much heavy duty dirt. Fast forward to the woods of Michigan . . . The Man is currently in position of at least SIX brooms. There is one in the house that I hate and five others scattered around the outside of the house and in the garage and shed. NOT ONE of these six broom is worth shit ! They are ALL, the inside one included, SO old and bent that you can't really sweep with them. Apparently they have never been used and have just been left standing in one spot for the last thirty-seven years thus explaining the right angle bend in the bristles. Have you ever tried sweeping up anything other than cotton balls with a broom who's bristles are bent in the middle? Can't do it !! The only thing these brooms accomplish is to press the dirt into what ever surface you are sweeping.
Today we worked outside in the yard. The Man's "yard" consists of sixteen acres of fields and woods. That's quite some yard to take care of. (He is just telling me that he only mows two acres of grass on a regular basis, the other acres of field area he cuts with the "bush hog" every month or so.) It's a lot to manage especially for someone who is on oxygen 24/7 but he LOVES riding on his toys and taking care of his property.
Enter ME . . . So far he has not shown any desire to teach me to operate the ride-on mower or the tractor. Very smart on his part !! (For those of you who ever rode in my car with me you know what I'm talking about.) So while The Man is circling the house forty two times on his mower I get to play with the things that are planted around the house. And there is a lot planted around the house. There are peony's, roses, iris, tulips, roses and God only knows what else. All of it has not been touched in about ten years so it is really overgrown and messy. Besides the plants there are two cement patios that are in constant need of sweeping, thus the frustration over the broom issue.
Today I was feeling yucky . . . just a down day both mentally and physically. I had a lousy nights sleep, (thanks to the hard mattress), and it was raining this morning. The perfect storm for a yucky mood. But as the day progressed the sun began to come out and it turned into the most beautiful, if not cold, day. D had disappeared outside to ride on his mower, (but I think he was just escaping me) so I decided I needed some fresh air too.
Four hours later the garden is starting to look like it might actually look like a garden rather than an empty lot that's been abandoned for many years. And even though the broom situation frustrated me the entire time I feel a thousand times better than I did this morning.
Just imagine how fantastic I'd be feeling if I had my Florida broom with me !
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT !
As usual I am shaking my head in amazement at some of the things that come out of this man's mouth. I hear what he is saying but I do not believe for one moment HE hears what he is saying. I joke about the difference between mens and women's brains but I am forever baffled by what they say.
We inherited a ton of vegetables on Sunday. Someone was giving away string beans, zucchini, summer squash, green peppers, potatoes, celery, lettuce and PARSNIPS.
What the hell is a parsnip? I have never bought or cooked this washed out carrot wanna-be. It looks like a carrot, sort of smells like a carrot and I am told it pretty much tastes like a carrot. BUT . . . it is not a carrot.
We loaded all these wonderful veggies into the trunk of the car and brought them back to the house. I had in mind all sorts of wonderful roasted vegetable dishes along side the fresh mashed potatoes. The Man naturally did not think the same as me. As we drove home he said, "The deer are going to LOVE all this". I choked on my water that I happened to be taking a sip of at the moment of this manly declaration. Let me just note here that during the times that I live with this man not one single vegetable is ever cooked and eaten. The closest I get to eating any veggies is when we buy a veggie platter that comes equipped with a gallon of Ranch Dressing. Other than that . . . NADA !
So why should I be surprised that the deer were going to have a veggie feast rather than me ? As we drove along I quietly said I would like to keep some of the squash and peppers. His response to this was,"WHY?". I explained that I wanted to grill them with olive oil, garlic salt and some onions. Once again I was asked, "WHY?". I knew this was going to be a loosing battle so I changed my strategy. If you link the word "cake" or "bread" with any other word The Man's eyes light up and he starts to salivate like Pavlove's dogs. (Google Pavlovian Theory if you don't know what I am talking about). And so I told him I was also thinking of baking a zucchini bread. That got his attention ! (The word "bake" is also key to getting a man's attention.) If I had said I was going to bake a zucchini CAKE we would have made it home in record speed. ( I could probably tell The Man I was going to bake a cat hair and spitball cake and he would get excited.)
Once we got back to the house we had to stop first at the milk house out by the barn. (There hasn't been milk in this house since 1920 but it is still referred to as "The Milk House".). The man supervised the unloading of several bags of apples which were part of our windfall and some of the parsnips. The Man said the deer would not eat parsnips but I thought that since deer ate carrots why wouldn't they eat this carrot like cousin? We then continued on to the house where I unloaded all the veggies on to the patio table. There were way too many to bring into the house at that point since the kitchen is super small and would not accommodate all the goodies. (BTW . . . deer do NOT eat parsnips.)
The next morning I googled "zucchini bread" recipes for when I would get around to it. Then I went outside and spent the next two and a half hours pealing and slicing yellow squash and all the zucchini that I wouldn't use for the bread. Next I asked The Man if I could use the BIG oven in the kitchen to roast up all these veggies. We have NEVER turned this oven on in all the years I have been coming up here so I really was not surprised when he said, "NO'. He must have seen my look of, "Are your freaking kidding me?", that swept across my face because he then had to clarify his answer. The reason we can not use the oven in the kitchen is because he has not used the oven in the kitchen since his wife died. AND ?????? Was his late wife cremated in this oven and her ashes are still in
there ??? God help me . . . I just don't get how they think !
As a result I froze the majority of the cut up squash and green peppers and only roasted the small amount of them that would fit on the tiny tray from the toaster oven. (In spite of my aggravation they were delicious.The Man did not eat any.) But it doesn't end there. After the set back of not being able to use the big oven I told him that it would be OK, (even if it really wasn't), I could freeze the majority of the crop. He panicked at the thought of his freezer being filled with vegetables and immediately started coming up with reasons why I couldn't do that. Once again I must note that there are THREE (3) freezers on this property. The fridge freezer is large and empty except for the plethora of ice cream. There are ice cream sandwiches, ice cream bars, ice cream cups and two half gallons of, you guessed it, ICE CREAM! But God Forbid I put a vegetable in there. There is also a freezer in the basement that still has halibut in it from last summer and an empty freezer in the garage. (The only reason the garage freezer is empty is because we took all the halibut out of it and drove it down to Florida with us. It now is filling up my freezer at home! The Man will tell you how WONDERFUL halibut is and how he LOVES halibut but when ever I suggest we have it for dinner he finds some excuse not to.)
And still it doesn't end there ! Yesterday sort of got away from us and before I knew it it was time for dinner. I had not gotten around to baking, (in the toaster oven), so I said I was going to wait until today to bake.
His response to that . . . "But the cleaning lady is coming!"
Me . . . "yes? and? . . . "
Him . . . "Well you can't bake while she is here!"
Me . . . "No I wasn't planning on baking while she is here. I'll bake in the afternoon when she is gone"
Him . . . "But then there will be flour all over the house!"
I had to walk away . . . I just do NOT get the male brain. Maybe because there isn't one !!!!!
We inherited a ton of vegetables on Sunday. Someone was giving away string beans, zucchini, summer squash, green peppers, potatoes, celery, lettuce and PARSNIPS.
What the hell is a parsnip? I have never bought or cooked this washed out carrot wanna-be. It looks like a carrot, sort of smells like a carrot and I am told it pretty much tastes like a carrot. BUT . . . it is not a carrot.
We loaded all these wonderful veggies into the trunk of the car and brought them back to the house. I had in mind all sorts of wonderful roasted vegetable dishes along side the fresh mashed potatoes. The Man naturally did not think the same as me. As we drove home he said, "The deer are going to LOVE all this". I choked on my water that I happened to be taking a sip of at the moment of this manly declaration. Let me just note here that during the times that I live with this man not one single vegetable is ever cooked and eaten. The closest I get to eating any veggies is when we buy a veggie platter that comes equipped with a gallon of Ranch Dressing. Other than that . . . NADA !
So why should I be surprised that the deer were going to have a veggie feast rather than me ? As we drove along I quietly said I would like to keep some of the squash and peppers. His response to this was,"WHY?". I explained that I wanted to grill them with olive oil, garlic salt and some onions. Once again I was asked, "WHY?". I knew this was going to be a loosing battle so I changed my strategy. If you link the word "cake" or "bread" with any other word The Man's eyes light up and he starts to salivate like Pavlove's dogs. (Google Pavlovian Theory if you don't know what I am talking about). And so I told him I was also thinking of baking a zucchini bread. That got his attention ! (The word "bake" is also key to getting a man's attention.) If I had said I was going to bake a zucchini CAKE we would have made it home in record speed. ( I could probably tell The Man I was going to bake a cat hair and spitball cake and he would get excited.)
Once we got back to the house we had to stop first at the milk house out by the barn. (There hasn't been milk in this house since 1920 but it is still referred to as "The Milk House".). The man supervised the unloading of several bags of apples which were part of our windfall and some of the parsnips. The Man said the deer would not eat parsnips but I thought that since deer ate carrots why wouldn't they eat this carrot like cousin? We then continued on to the house where I unloaded all the veggies on to the patio table. There were way too many to bring into the house at that point since the kitchen is super small and would not accommodate all the goodies. (BTW . . . deer do NOT eat parsnips.)
The next morning I googled "zucchini bread" recipes for when I would get around to it. Then I went outside and spent the next two and a half hours pealing and slicing yellow squash and all the zucchini that I wouldn't use for the bread. Next I asked The Man if I could use the BIG oven in the kitchen to roast up all these veggies. We have NEVER turned this oven on in all the years I have been coming up here so I really was not surprised when he said, "NO'. He must have seen my look of, "Are your freaking kidding me?", that swept across my face because he then had to clarify his answer. The reason we can not use the oven in the kitchen is because he has not used the oven in the kitchen since his wife died. AND ?????? Was his late wife cremated in this oven and her ashes are still in
there ??? God help me . . . I just don't get how they think !
As a result I froze the majority of the cut up squash and green peppers and only roasted the small amount of them that would fit on the tiny tray from the toaster oven. (In spite of my aggravation they were delicious.The Man did not eat any.) But it doesn't end there. After the set back of not being able to use the big oven I told him that it would be OK, (even if it really wasn't), I could freeze the majority of the crop. He panicked at the thought of his freezer being filled with vegetables and immediately started coming up with reasons why I couldn't do that. Once again I must note that there are THREE (3) freezers on this property. The fridge freezer is large and empty except for the plethora of ice cream. There are ice cream sandwiches, ice cream bars, ice cream cups and two half gallons of, you guessed it, ICE CREAM! But God Forbid I put a vegetable in there. There is also a freezer in the basement that still has halibut in it from last summer and an empty freezer in the garage. (The only reason the garage freezer is empty is because we took all the halibut out of it and drove it down to Florida with us. It now is filling up my freezer at home! The Man will tell you how WONDERFUL halibut is and how he LOVES halibut but when ever I suggest we have it for dinner he finds some excuse not to.)
And still it doesn't end there ! Yesterday sort of got away from us and before I knew it it was time for dinner. I had not gotten around to baking, (in the toaster oven), so I said I was going to wait until today to bake.
His response to that . . . "But the cleaning lady is coming!"
Me . . . "yes? and? . . . "
Him . . . "Well you can't bake while she is here!"
Me . . . "No I wasn't planning on baking while she is here. I'll bake in the afternoon when she is gone"
Him . . . "But then there will be flour all over the house!"
I had to walk away . . . I just do NOT get the male brain. Maybe because there isn't one !!!!!
Sunday, May 24, 2020
MAKIN' ME CRAZZZZZZZY
Well actually that ship sailed a long time ago . . . The crazy ship sailed out of port the day I got married and it's been getting further and further out to sea every day. I'm so far adrift I can't even see the horizon any more !
Because I have always been more than 50% nuts, (some would say a lot more), it is an easy sail into the sea of senility and insanity. The waters of this sea get pretty rough at times and bounce my brain boat to near breaking but so far I've been able to hang on and not had to abandon ship. But every time I come up here to MI I have to put on my life jacket and grab the oars because this may just be the trip that sinks my boat !
I do love it up here . . . FOR A VISIT . . . but I just can not live here. Besides being in the middle of nowhere and not having anything to do, unless you consider cleaning The Man's house, cooking his meals, working as a farm hand, and being taken for granted, it is a nice place. It is just NOT MY HOME !
First let me say that I am an idiot for not being a bitch. I am not the sort of person who can say "NO" I won't/can't do that ! NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm little Miss Goodie 2 Shoes who wants to please everyone even at the expense of my own health. But why am I telling YOU all this when it is the person I am living with who needs to hear it at least 40 times a day.
I don't get it that if you tell a man there is a football game on at 3:00 Sunday five weeks from now he will remember that and be sitting in front of the TV when that game comes on. BUT . . . if you tell a man that because you have a bad back, a heart condition, a shoulder that is desperate for replacement you can NOT lift 50 pound bags of corn or bend over picking up tree branches to drag to the fire pit, or carry all the shit from the trunk of the car . . . THAT he can NOT remember for more than three seconds.
Now I take that personally . . . in my mind that person just doesn't give a shit about me. Am I wrong?? Husband always did the same thing so it is not new to me. Is it that I am a second class citizen in their minds or is it just that they are so "f-ing" stupid they can't think of anything else but themselves?
And then there is the internet . . . Holy Crap I am REALLY going to loose my mind !!!!! I do everything on the internet . . . banking, pay bills, order shit, talk to my kids. Spend a couple of bucks and get a decent WiFi package that allows you to get on line without waiting an hour to connect and then have the connection cut in and out the entire time. I thought I had solved this issue by using my iPhone as a "Personal Hot Spot". That just blew up in my face when I got my phone bill for this past month and it was more than double what I normally pay. Seems that my hot spot has it's limits and I have exceeded them by quite a bit. I have been trying to keep sane by playing games on my iPad when ever I am bordering on loosing it. Unfortunately I need to connect to the internet for these games and since the WiFi at the house works at the speed of a snail on Prozac I was connecting to my phone. Great plan except for the fact that WE are also using my phone to connect to Netflix on my computer every night so The Man can watch dumb ass movies and stupid Netflix series. Well that shit is about to come to a screeching halt. I'll just play solitaire while he watches his stupid hunting shows. Have you ever watched that crap ????? OMG !!! Grown men sitting in bushes waiting to shoot a poor animal and when they do they almost wet their pants with excitement. It NEVER varies . . . every show is exactly the same and yet The Man watches them constantly.
I think the honeymoon is over !! But at least hockey and football have been cancelled although they would be much better than hunting.
Because I have always been more than 50% nuts, (some would say a lot more), it is an easy sail into the sea of senility and insanity. The waters of this sea get pretty rough at times and bounce my brain boat to near breaking but so far I've been able to hang on and not had to abandon ship. But every time I come up here to MI I have to put on my life jacket and grab the oars because this may just be the trip that sinks my boat !
I do love it up here . . . FOR A VISIT . . . but I just can not live here. Besides being in the middle of nowhere and not having anything to do, unless you consider cleaning The Man's house, cooking his meals, working as a farm hand, and being taken for granted, it is a nice place. It is just NOT MY HOME !
First let me say that I am an idiot for not being a bitch. I am not the sort of person who can say "NO" I won't/can't do that ! NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm little Miss Goodie 2 Shoes who wants to please everyone even at the expense of my own health. But why am I telling YOU all this when it is the person I am living with who needs to hear it at least 40 times a day.
I don't get it that if you tell a man there is a football game on at 3:00 Sunday five weeks from now he will remember that and be sitting in front of the TV when that game comes on. BUT . . . if you tell a man that because you have a bad back, a heart condition, a shoulder that is desperate for replacement you can NOT lift 50 pound bags of corn or bend over picking up tree branches to drag to the fire pit, or carry all the shit from the trunk of the car . . . THAT he can NOT remember for more than three seconds.
Now I take that personally . . . in my mind that person just doesn't give a shit about me. Am I wrong?? Husband always did the same thing so it is not new to me. Is it that I am a second class citizen in their minds or is it just that they are so "f-ing" stupid they can't think of anything else but themselves?
And then there is the internet . . . Holy Crap I am REALLY going to loose my mind !!!!! I do everything on the internet . . . banking, pay bills, order shit, talk to my kids. Spend a couple of bucks and get a decent WiFi package that allows you to get on line without waiting an hour to connect and then have the connection cut in and out the entire time. I thought I had solved this issue by using my iPhone as a "Personal Hot Spot". That just blew up in my face when I got my phone bill for this past month and it was more than double what I normally pay. Seems that my hot spot has it's limits and I have exceeded them by quite a bit. I have been trying to keep sane by playing games on my iPad when ever I am bordering on loosing it. Unfortunately I need to connect to the internet for these games and since the WiFi at the house works at the speed of a snail on Prozac I was connecting to my phone. Great plan except for the fact that WE are also using my phone to connect to Netflix on my computer every night so The Man can watch dumb ass movies and stupid Netflix series. Well that shit is about to come to a screeching halt. I'll just play solitaire while he watches his stupid hunting shows. Have you ever watched that crap ????? OMG !!! Grown men sitting in bushes waiting to shoot a poor animal and when they do they almost wet their pants with excitement. It NEVER varies . . . every show is exactly the same and yet The Man watches them constantly.
I think the honeymoon is over !! But at least hockey and football have been cancelled although they would be much better than hunting.
Saturday, May 23, 2020
RECYCLING - MICHIGAN STYLE
I have always been aware of the need to take care of our Earth. As a small child my mom and I would walk everywhere because in those days there was only one car in a family which my dad drove to work. My mother never learned to drive which was probably a very good thing. There were no stores near our house in Queens, NY so we walked. It always seemed we were walking miles and miles but looking back on it I'm sure it wasn't that far.
As we walked my mother was always on the lookout for trash . . . sometimes we would bring a paper bag with us to throw the trash into and then burn it in our tiny little "fire pit" in the back yard. Our property was maybe 50' x 50' if that. We lived in the country part of NYC just a few blocks from where Nassau County began and NYC ended. Our country "estate" seemed huge at the time with 2 pear trees, grapes growing on the wire fence, a cherry tree that was actually in our neighbors yard but had branches that hung over that fence so we had "picking rights" when the cherries ripened. We had a tiny garden of vegetables, current bushes for jam making and rhubarb plant out front for strawberry rhubarb pie. My mother knew how to use EVERYTHING that was available to us.
AND SHE RECYCLED !! We didn't know that word back then, I remember when it first started being used. Our recycling consisted of never throwing anything away. Tin coffee cans, when empty, were used to store all sorts of things. I remember my dad's "work bench" in the basement having all cans of all shapes and sizes filled with nail, nuts and bolts and heaven only knows what else. Aluminum foil was a new thing so when you had a piece of it you washed it off and used it twenty more times. Newspapers were saved for covering books or lining the garbage can in the kitchen.
BUT . . . all that was nothing compared to MI recycling. First let me remind you that the man I live with throws nothing out. Very much like my mother except my mother did not HAVE much to start with . I have mentioned in past blogs just how much "crap" fills this house. There is plenty of space here to store things and so every room is filled with "stuff" ! It's sort of like hoarding but not really because there is still plenty of room to move around. D's wife had a LOT of stuff ! If there was one knitting needle there are at least a hundred . . . NO exaggeration !
The question in my mind is WHY is it still here ? It's been at least six years since the lady passed away and the house is still jam packed. I am making some headway but it is slow and painful. Which brings us to the recycling part . . . Today we went to a neighbors farm to pick up bags of corn for the deer. She wouldn't let Dwayne pay for the corn so in trade we are giving her a bunch of things related to weaving. WE have managed to give away two huge spinning wheels and a huge loom to another neighbor. (As I sit here writing I am looking across the parlor to shelves that hold 14 woven
baskets. ). When was the last time you needed that many baskets ?
The point of all this is nothing goes to waste up here. It sits on a shelf until just the right person comes along who will appreciate a gift of "stuff". Even the deer and geese in the yard are recipients of recycled "stuff". I found some old wheat flour stashed in a closet . . . NO PROBLEM ! Toss it outside on the grass and something will eat it. Ends of the loaf of bread . . . deer apparently love bread! Go figure! Carrots, celery, an old ham sandwich . . . it all gets tossed out the door for the deer. I have even discovered that deer like recycled mashed potatoes. Who Knew ?!
And what can't be recycled gets burned in the fire pit ! There is a huge trash can at the end of the drive way out by the road. I'm not sure why The Man pays for trash pickup because everything that is considered "garbage" is put in a plastic grocery bag, taken out to the fire pit on a non windy day and burned. Are we polluting the atmosphere ? Probably ! But that's how you handle trash in MI .
As we walked my mother was always on the lookout for trash . . . sometimes we would bring a paper bag with us to throw the trash into and then burn it in our tiny little "fire pit" in the back yard. Our property was maybe 50' x 50' if that. We lived in the country part of NYC just a few blocks from where Nassau County began and NYC ended. Our country "estate" seemed huge at the time with 2 pear trees, grapes growing on the wire fence, a cherry tree that was actually in our neighbors yard but had branches that hung over that fence so we had "picking rights" when the cherries ripened. We had a tiny garden of vegetables, current bushes for jam making and rhubarb plant out front for strawberry rhubarb pie. My mother knew how to use EVERYTHING that was available to us.
AND SHE RECYCLED !! We didn't know that word back then, I remember when it first started being used. Our recycling consisted of never throwing anything away. Tin coffee cans, when empty, were used to store all sorts of things. I remember my dad's "work bench" in the basement having all cans of all shapes and sizes filled with nail, nuts and bolts and heaven only knows what else. Aluminum foil was a new thing so when you had a piece of it you washed it off and used it twenty more times. Newspapers were saved for covering books or lining the garbage can in the kitchen.
BUT . . . all that was nothing compared to MI recycling. First let me remind you that the man I live with throws nothing out. Very much like my mother except my mother did not HAVE much to start with . I have mentioned in past blogs just how much "crap" fills this house. There is plenty of space here to store things and so every room is filled with "stuff" ! It's sort of like hoarding but not really because there is still plenty of room to move around. D's wife had a LOT of stuff ! If there was one knitting needle there are at least a hundred . . . NO exaggeration !
The question in my mind is WHY is it still here ? It's been at least six years since the lady passed away and the house is still jam packed. I am making some headway but it is slow and painful. Which brings us to the recycling part . . . Today we went to a neighbors farm to pick up bags of corn for the deer. She wouldn't let Dwayne pay for the corn so in trade we are giving her a bunch of things related to weaving. WE have managed to give away two huge spinning wheels and a huge loom to another neighbor. (As I sit here writing I am looking across the parlor to shelves that hold 14 woven
baskets. ). When was the last time you needed that many baskets ?
The point of all this is nothing goes to waste up here. It sits on a shelf until just the right person comes along who will appreciate a gift of "stuff". Even the deer and geese in the yard are recipients of recycled "stuff". I found some old wheat flour stashed in a closet . . . NO PROBLEM ! Toss it outside on the grass and something will eat it. Ends of the loaf of bread . . . deer apparently love bread! Go figure! Carrots, celery, an old ham sandwich . . . it all gets tossed out the door for the deer. I have even discovered that deer like recycled mashed potatoes. Who Knew ?!
And what can't be recycled gets burned in the fire pit ! There is a huge trash can at the end of the drive way out by the road. I'm not sure why The Man pays for trash pickup because everything that is considered "garbage" is put in a plastic grocery bag, taken out to the fire pit on a non windy day and burned. Are we polluting the atmosphere ? Probably ! But that's how you handle trash in MI .
Wednesday, May 20, 2020
THE TOY BOY
The first time I met my neighbor Janet I told her my "friend" would be coming down from Michigan each November to spend the winter here with me. Her response was, "Oh ! I have a Boy Toy too!" I almost swallowed my gum laughing at the thought that I was a woman with a "boy toy" !
Janet's gentleman friend is now in a nursing home but she has shared with me some of the wonderful trips they had taken together while he was still in good health.
Unlike Janet's friend my man does not need to travel any further than his Michigan home to find fun.
This man has more "toys" than all of my kids had when they were young. And that was A LOT of toys. (We once had a car stop in front of our house asking if we were having a yard sale. It was just my kids out playing on the front lawn but the amount of stuff they had brought out looked like a yard sale.)
We arrived back in Michigan three days ago. We took Monday and Tuesday to recover from our marathon drive up from Florida. The weather was cool, in the low 50's, and partially sunny. Perfect weather for R&R.
Today we woke up to 65 degrees, sunny and a faint breeze. PERFECT weather for going out to the garage to see if the lawn mower would start. No luck with that so we hooked the mowers battery up to a charger, plugged it in and moved on to tractor stored out in the lean-to next to the garage. That baby started right up! I think The Man may have wet his pants he was so happy.
For the next hour and a half we have been outside "playing" with D's tractor. First he drove over to the shed out on the edge of his property and I pulled out the wrought iron table and four chairs that had been stored in there for the winter. I loaded them up onto the "bush hog" (a sort of flat mower contraption that gets pulled along in back of the tractor. The things I know about these days!) I rolled the round patio table across the lawn while The Man drove the chairs over to the patio on the side of the house. Now we have a nice place to picnic and entertain guests.
It's amazing how much there is to do on property this size. Well, not really that amazing at all. This place is just a little larger than our 2 bedroom condo and lanai. Over the winter lots of things change so come spring The Man has to return everything to normal . . . What ever that is! The tractor and mower were just the tip of the ice berg. The truck needs to come out of the garage, the deer have to be fed, because Heaven only knows how they survived all winter when we were not here. Not only do we have to go purchase huge sacks of corn we had to go to the tractor store yesterday to pick up a mineral salt block for Bambi and her cousins along with a huge bag of bird seed for the feeder. I like this shopping on line and the curbside pick up is a breeze. Good thing our president sent us all some extra money because we are shopping more and more now that we don't have to leave the comfort of our living room.
At this rate The Man will have all sorts of new toys. I thought I was bad with Amazon shopping but I have created a monster in this man. He LOVES that all he has to do is mention something he and POOF . . .a couple of days later it magically appears at his door. I am slowly teaching him how to use the Amazon web site but that isn't going very well. Being a TYPICAL man he knows that it is always much easier to just speak and the woman will take care of everything.
The one difference up here is that there is no such thing as "Next Day Delivery". Everything we have ordered over the past couple of days is going to take over a week to get here. Apparently there are no Amazon Super Centers within a thousand miles. Either that or things are being shipped by donkey. Very frustrating after coming from Florida where my orders often arrived even before I pressed the "BUY NOW" button on my computer. It's not like the items purchased are so large and heavy that the sherpa who is trekking across the wilds of Michigan can't carry them. We are talking here about a set of blackout curtains and a charging wire for my phone. D's shopping consists of a new SAWSALL. Do you know what a sawsall is??? I didn't ! When he was asking me to search for this item I had NO idea what he was talking about. I had to look at him to see if he had had a stroke and was slurring his words. Turns out this item is a small heavy duty electric saw, a bit like an electric knife. Some genius when looking for a name for his new invention decided that it SAWS ALL things so he called it a sawsall. (Note I said "HE" Only a man would invent something like this!) Along with this toy the man has ordered a battery operated drill like the one I have in Florida. The difference between my drill and his is I only have the ONE drill. At the moment there are at least three other battery operated drills tucked in various places on this property. There is one in the little room right inside the back door, one in the main part of the garage and a third in a different space in the back of the garage. Apparently he does not realize that once a drill stops working you are supposed to charge it in the charging dock rather than buy a new one.
Speaking of the "garage" . . . this building could house half the population of Canada. There are numerous rooms beside the main double car garage space. Unfortunately only one vehicle will fit in this space because three quarters of the room is taken up with furniture and boxes. I'm not saying that this property holds way way more STUFF than any place I have ever seen and each time I am here my fingers itch just wanting to start throwing things out.
Janet's gentleman friend is now in a nursing home but she has shared with me some of the wonderful trips they had taken together while he was still in good health.
Unlike Janet's friend my man does not need to travel any further than his Michigan home to find fun.
This man has more "toys" than all of my kids had when they were young. And that was A LOT of toys. (We once had a car stop in front of our house asking if we were having a yard sale. It was just my kids out playing on the front lawn but the amount of stuff they had brought out looked like a yard sale.)
We arrived back in Michigan three days ago. We took Monday and Tuesday to recover from our marathon drive up from Florida. The weather was cool, in the low 50's, and partially sunny. Perfect weather for R&R.
Today we woke up to 65 degrees, sunny and a faint breeze. PERFECT weather for going out to the garage to see if the lawn mower would start. No luck with that so we hooked the mowers battery up to a charger, plugged it in and moved on to tractor stored out in the lean-to next to the garage. That baby started right up! I think The Man may have wet his pants he was so happy.
For the next hour and a half we have been outside "playing" with D's tractor. First he drove over to the shed out on the edge of his property and I pulled out the wrought iron table and four chairs that had been stored in there for the winter. I loaded them up onto the "bush hog" (a sort of flat mower contraption that gets pulled along in back of the tractor. The things I know about these days!) I rolled the round patio table across the lawn while The Man drove the chairs over to the patio on the side of the house. Now we have a nice place to picnic and entertain guests.
It's amazing how much there is to do on property this size. Well, not really that amazing at all. This place is just a little larger than our 2 bedroom condo and lanai. Over the winter lots of things change so come spring The Man has to return everything to normal . . . What ever that is! The tractor and mower were just the tip of the ice berg. The truck needs to come out of the garage, the deer have to be fed, because Heaven only knows how they survived all winter when we were not here. Not only do we have to go purchase huge sacks of corn we had to go to the tractor store yesterday to pick up a mineral salt block for Bambi and her cousins along with a huge bag of bird seed for the feeder. I like this shopping on line and the curbside pick up is a breeze. Good thing our president sent us all some extra money because we are shopping more and more now that we don't have to leave the comfort of our living room.
At this rate The Man will have all sorts of new toys. I thought I was bad with Amazon shopping but I have created a monster in this man. He LOVES that all he has to do is mention something he and POOF . . .a couple of days later it magically appears at his door. I am slowly teaching him how to use the Amazon web site but that isn't going very well. Being a TYPICAL man he knows that it is always much easier to just speak and the woman will take care of everything.
The one difference up here is that there is no such thing as "Next Day Delivery". Everything we have ordered over the past couple of days is going to take over a week to get here. Apparently there are no Amazon Super Centers within a thousand miles. Either that or things are being shipped by donkey. Very frustrating after coming from Florida where my orders often arrived even before I pressed the "BUY NOW" button on my computer. It's not like the items purchased are so large and heavy that the sherpa who is trekking across the wilds of Michigan can't carry them. We are talking here about a set of blackout curtains and a charging wire for my phone. D's shopping consists of a new SAWSALL. Do you know what a sawsall is??? I didn't ! When he was asking me to search for this item I had NO idea what he was talking about. I had to look at him to see if he had had a stroke and was slurring his words. Turns out this item is a small heavy duty electric saw, a bit like an electric knife. Some genius when looking for a name for his new invention decided that it SAWS ALL things so he called it a sawsall. (Note I said "HE" Only a man would invent something like this!) Along with this toy the man has ordered a battery operated drill like the one I have in Florida. The difference between my drill and his is I only have the ONE drill. At the moment there are at least three other battery operated drills tucked in various places on this property. There is one in the little room right inside the back door, one in the main part of the garage and a third in a different space in the back of the garage. Apparently he does not realize that once a drill stops working you are supposed to charge it in the charging dock rather than buy a new one.
Speaking of the "garage" . . . this building could house half the population of Canada. There are numerous rooms beside the main double car garage space. Unfortunately only one vehicle will fit in this space because three quarters of the room is taken up with furniture and boxes. I'm not saying that this property holds way way more STUFF than any place I have ever seen and each time I am here my fingers itch just wanting to start throwing things out.
Monday, May 18, 2020
BIG BIRD IS BACK
Well, I have landed in Michigan and boy are my arms tired . . . Just kidding. As you know we left Florida on Friday and arrived in Gladstone, MI at 2:00 yesterday afternoon. The trip was easy and uneventful. Very few cars on the roads except when we were going through major cities. Yesterday we woke up to heavy rain which we followed all the way from Chicago to here. We're not in Florida any more Toto ! 58 degrees and rain this morning and I am wondering what the hell I'm doing here. Although Keri did say in a text yesterday afternoon I should be glad to be out of Florida because the heat has arrived big time. So I will suck it up and enjoy my couple of weeks in the frozen north. At least it isn't snowing !
I woke up early this morning with the light, (not sun) coming in the bedroom window that does not have a shade on it. Living with a man in HIS house is always interesting. There are curtains on the windows that his wife had put up I don't know how many years ago but they are there for decoration only and serve no practical purpose. The curtains are absolutely beautiful white lace and thankfully the cleaning lady washes them every six months or so to keep them white.
Since D was still sound asleep after his three day auto race, the likes of which Dale Earnhardt would be proud I wandered out into the kitchen and sat at the table to check out if the world and my brain were still there. The world apparently was still there but the jury was still out on my brain. When I looked outside there were 4 Sand Hill Cranes standing out in the yard between the house and the barn. These birds are FLORIDA birds, what they are doing all the way up here is beyond me. I guess they migrate to cooler weather just like the Florida Snow birds although I did NOT see any of them, (cranes not snow birds), driving along the highway. Also out in the yard on the side of the barn were 2 Canadian geese and their 5 little fuzzy babies pecking through the grass for breakfast. Sitting in the tall pine trees on the far side of the pond were 4 mature bald eagles and 2 younger ones that have not gotten the white feathers on their head like the old guys. Just then a Red Winged Black bird landed on the bird feeder to keep the Robin on the lawn company. It's a freaking aviary here !!! Or maybe this area has just gone to the birds ! Yesterday afternoon there was a bright blue Bluebird on the bird feeder along with a few little grey and yellow finches.
All these fine feathered friends are in good company because when I looked in the mirror this morning there, once again, was Big Bird staring back at me. Hair going in every direction ! Hope I don't scare my feathery friends who are outside.
I woke up early this morning with the light, (not sun) coming in the bedroom window that does not have a shade on it. Living with a man in HIS house is always interesting. There are curtains on the windows that his wife had put up I don't know how many years ago but they are there for decoration only and serve no practical purpose. The curtains are absolutely beautiful white lace and thankfully the cleaning lady washes them every six months or so to keep them white.
Since D was still sound asleep after his three day auto race, the likes of which Dale Earnhardt would be proud I wandered out into the kitchen and sat at the table to check out if the world and my brain were still there. The world apparently was still there but the jury was still out on my brain. When I looked outside there were 4 Sand Hill Cranes standing out in the yard between the house and the barn. These birds are FLORIDA birds, what they are doing all the way up here is beyond me. I guess they migrate to cooler weather just like the Florida Snow birds although I did NOT see any of them, (cranes not snow birds), driving along the highway. Also out in the yard on the side of the barn were 2 Canadian geese and their 5 little fuzzy babies pecking through the grass for breakfast. Sitting in the tall pine trees on the far side of the pond were 4 mature bald eagles and 2 younger ones that have not gotten the white feathers on their head like the old guys. Just then a Red Winged Black bird landed on the bird feeder to keep the Robin on the lawn company. It's a freaking aviary here !!! Or maybe this area has just gone to the birds ! Yesterday afternoon there was a bright blue Bluebird on the bird feeder along with a few little grey and yellow finches.
All these fine feathered friends are in good company because when I looked in the mirror this morning there, once again, was Big Bird staring back at me. Hair going in every direction ! Hope I don't scare my feathery friends who are outside.
Saturday, May 16, 2020
2:04
We have made it as far as Indiana where we will stay for the night. Yesterday was an uneventful ride and I spent most of the time writing my novel. I think Kaelin has created a monster in her grand mother. A monster who is now so entrenched in her own story that I can't stop.
By the time we got to Macon around 4:00 PM Dwayne was exhausted. Being a man he does not let me drive so he spent the entire trip behind the wheel. We had only stopped twice in the eight hours that we were driving so both of us were glad to get out of the car and stretch out in the motel room. I have asked The Man many many times to just drive for a maximum of six hours and he tells me what a good idea that is but then once we get in the car we are like lemmings who can't help themselves but to keep going till we die. There are so many places along the way that I would love to stop at but that ain't never gonna happen!
So when The Man fell asleep last night at 8:45 I just shut off the TV and settled down to a half hour of solitaire on my iPad. I had not slept well the last night at home so when I shut myself down at 9:15 I also was asleep within minutes.
UNTIL . . . . .
I was dead to the world and soooooo very very comfortable until I felt someone pulling on my foot. I opened one eye only to be blinded by the glaring light from the open bathroom door. I realized The Man was standing at the foot of the bed so I assumed it was morning and he had woken me to get up and get on the road. I felt like I had only slept an hour and was having a lot of trouble clearing the cobwebs from my brain. I gave him a half hearted thumbs up to let him know I was semi conscious and would get moving as soon as I could wake up enough to get out of the bed.
It was at this point that The Man started speaking to me but since I do not sleep with my hearing aids in my ears I had NO idea what the hell he was babbling about. I could see he was agitated but I didn't smell smoke so I figured it couldn't be anything that awful. I put my hand up to signal him to shut the "F" up and let me gather my wits but he just kept right on muttering and pacing. It was at this point that I put one hearing aid in one ear and asked him what was going on and what time was it.
When he said TWO AM I figured I must still be asleep and dreaming. But NO . . . it was indeed two o'clock in the morning. It was exactly 2:04 when I looked at my phone and began to realize The Man was insane and I was going to kill him. In the following couple of minutes I sorted out what had happened although I still do not know why I had to be woken up to participate in this insanity.
It seems that when he went to bed The Man had put his phone on the night stand next to his side of the bed. Unfortunately he had also left a half of a bottle of semi frozen water on the same stand. Apparently he woke up at two and when he looked at his phone to see what time it was his phone was dead. This threw him into panic mode because he needed the phone to be working so the alarm on it would wake us at 6:15 AM to get a jump on the 600 miles we were driving today. Because he had fallen asleep so early he never asked me to set my alarm so when his phone went dead he freaked. Now all this could have been handled quietly and in the dark if we didn't have to drive the long distance. If it was me I would have just gone back to sleep and left the motel when ever we woke up.
Oh No . . . Not Mr. Man . . . He had turned on all the lights in the room and was swearing up a storm because, according to him, the ice in the water bottle on the night stand had melted and caused the bottle to sweat and leave a puddle. His phone happened to be sitting in that puddle so now he was convinced his phone, (the 1842 model flip phone that ought to be in a museum) was ruined !!!! He was ripping the phone apart to take out the "damaged" battery while all the while muttering to himself and cursing the water bottle.
This all transpired in the span of maybe three minutes during which time I had sat up, set the alarm on my phone and laid back down to fall back to sleep seconds later. I don't know how long The Man fumed and fussed but I do know that I would have killed him if I had been any more awake.
Bottom line to all this was that his phone was NOT damaged in the least. It had just gone dead because he hadn't charged it in the last three days !
By the time we got to Macon around 4:00 PM Dwayne was exhausted. Being a man he does not let me drive so he spent the entire trip behind the wheel. We had only stopped twice in the eight hours that we were driving so both of us were glad to get out of the car and stretch out in the motel room. I have asked The Man many many times to just drive for a maximum of six hours and he tells me what a good idea that is but then once we get in the car we are like lemmings who can't help themselves but to keep going till we die. There are so many places along the way that I would love to stop at but that ain't never gonna happen!
So when The Man fell asleep last night at 8:45 I just shut off the TV and settled down to a half hour of solitaire on my iPad. I had not slept well the last night at home so when I shut myself down at 9:15 I also was asleep within minutes.
UNTIL . . . . .
I was dead to the world and soooooo very very comfortable until I felt someone pulling on my foot. I opened one eye only to be blinded by the glaring light from the open bathroom door. I realized The Man was standing at the foot of the bed so I assumed it was morning and he had woken me to get up and get on the road. I felt like I had only slept an hour and was having a lot of trouble clearing the cobwebs from my brain. I gave him a half hearted thumbs up to let him know I was semi conscious and would get moving as soon as I could wake up enough to get out of the bed.
It was at this point that The Man started speaking to me but since I do not sleep with my hearing aids in my ears I had NO idea what the hell he was babbling about. I could see he was agitated but I didn't smell smoke so I figured it couldn't be anything that awful. I put my hand up to signal him to shut the "F" up and let me gather my wits but he just kept right on muttering and pacing. It was at this point that I put one hearing aid in one ear and asked him what was going on and what time was it.
When he said TWO AM I figured I must still be asleep and dreaming. But NO . . . it was indeed two o'clock in the morning. It was exactly 2:04 when I looked at my phone and began to realize The Man was insane and I was going to kill him. In the following couple of minutes I sorted out what had happened although I still do not know why I had to be woken up to participate in this insanity.
It seems that when he went to bed The Man had put his phone on the night stand next to his side of the bed. Unfortunately he had also left a half of a bottle of semi frozen water on the same stand. Apparently he woke up at two and when he looked at his phone to see what time it was his phone was dead. This threw him into panic mode because he needed the phone to be working so the alarm on it would wake us at 6:15 AM to get a jump on the 600 miles we were driving today. Because he had fallen asleep so early he never asked me to set my alarm so when his phone went dead he freaked. Now all this could have been handled quietly and in the dark if we didn't have to drive the long distance. If it was me I would have just gone back to sleep and left the motel when ever we woke up.
Oh No . . . Not Mr. Man . . . He had turned on all the lights in the room and was swearing up a storm because, according to him, the ice in the water bottle on the night stand had melted and caused the bottle to sweat and leave a puddle. His phone happened to be sitting in that puddle so now he was convinced his phone, (the 1842 model flip phone that ought to be in a museum) was ruined !!!! He was ripping the phone apart to take out the "damaged" battery while all the while muttering to himself and cursing the water bottle.
This all transpired in the span of maybe three minutes during which time I had sat up, set the alarm on my phone and laid back down to fall back to sleep seconds later. I don't know how long The Man fumed and fussed but I do know that I would have killed him if I had been any more awake.
Bottom line to all this was that his phone was NOT damaged in the least. It had just gone dead because he hadn't charged it in the last three days !
Friday, May 15, 2020
DAY ONE ON THE ROAD
Made it to Macon, GA . . . a very easy and uneventful trip so far and my anxieties have settled down completely, which I knew they would. But when I am in the middle of "loosing it" there is no amount of reasoning that is going to calm me down. Maybe a half bottle of Jack Daniels Honey but reason doesn't stand a chance.
Last night I could NOT get to sleep to save my soul. We went to bed at a reasonable hour and I thought I was tired but when the lights went out my brain kicked into over drive. It was not whirling around about the impending trip . . . that would have made too much sense. Rather my brain kicked in thinking about the subject of the novel I am about to write. HA !! It's not half as exciting as it sounds and it all comes down to not being able to say "NO" to my grand daughter Kaelin.
Kaelin is in sixth grade. She has entered a middle school that offers a program for kids who are interested in writing. I guess she takes after her grand ma. She has become very interested in art and literature so when one of her teachers offered her class an opportunity to join NANOWRIMO Kaelin sucked in the hook and ran with it. I had never heard of this group but if you google it you can get an idea of what it's all about. Very interesting ! Each year they offer a challenge of writing a 5,000 word novel to anyone who cares to participate. Would my girl turn that down ? NEVER ! The thing that this child loves most in the world is a challenge! Tell her she "can't" do something and you know she is going to prove you wrong. (That too sound a bit like her grand mother. Any time my mom told me I couldn't do something you know damn well it became tops on my "TO DO" list.)
Anyway . . . Kaelin investigated this competition and immediately signed on. Then she challenged me and her Uncle Kent to register to see who will complete the task and possibly win the contest. I have NO idea what the "prize" is for writing the next great American novel and I very much doubt I will have an opportunity to find out because you already know just how silly my writing is. K had offered up this challenge about a week ago and I told her I would check it out, which I did not do as of yesterday. But at 3:00 in yesterday afternoon K and Finn and Keri came over to say good-bye before I left on my adventure, The first words from Kaelin were, "Grand ma, Did you start your novel yet?". I had to admit I had done no such thing and although I had thought about it several times I had no idea what I would write about. She was full of encouragement and helpful suggestions and even gave me the name of a book I should read called, "No Plot? No Problem".
By 10:00 last night I was DONE with a capital "D" thinking about this trip so I figured I might as well check out this NaNoWriMo web site and lo and behold I was sucked in just as much as my girl Kaelin. When we put out the light anticipating a good night's sleep before our journey my brain kicked into hyper drive and I was off and thinking. After laying in bed for an hour building my plot line I finally gave up and went into the other bedroom armed with a pen and paper. I spent the next half hour jotting down ideas for a story and then fell sound asleep for the next five hours without moving an inch.
We left home this morning at 8:15 and began our journey north. The Man always does all the driving so I am left to amuse myself for the next eight hours. I had planned ahead and had my computer charged and ready to write as we barreled down the road at 80 mile and hour. Traffic was light and The Man was in his Indy 500 zone so he didn't care that I was tapping away on the keys of my lap top. In fact he was probably delighted that I wasn't chattering away in his ear. By the time we reach our stop for the night I had gotten myself totally immersed in my writing. I can't wait for tomorrow's drive so I can continue the story. The fun thing is that I have chosen Alaska as the local for my story so as I was writing I was asking The Man all sorts of questions about different areas he has visited in that amazing state. He thinks I am totally nuts for thinking I can write a novel but he was more than willing to contribute lots of facts to help set the story in place.
Do you think I have to include him in the acknowledgments of my book ?
Last night I could NOT get to sleep to save my soul. We went to bed at a reasonable hour and I thought I was tired but when the lights went out my brain kicked into over drive. It was not whirling around about the impending trip . . . that would have made too much sense. Rather my brain kicked in thinking about the subject of the novel I am about to write. HA !! It's not half as exciting as it sounds and it all comes down to not being able to say "NO" to my grand daughter Kaelin.
Kaelin is in sixth grade. She has entered a middle school that offers a program for kids who are interested in writing. I guess she takes after her grand ma. She has become very interested in art and literature so when one of her teachers offered her class an opportunity to join NANOWRIMO Kaelin sucked in the hook and ran with it. I had never heard of this group but if you google it you can get an idea of what it's all about. Very interesting ! Each year they offer a challenge of writing a 5,000 word novel to anyone who cares to participate. Would my girl turn that down ? NEVER ! The thing that this child loves most in the world is a challenge! Tell her she "can't" do something and you know she is going to prove you wrong. (That too sound a bit like her grand mother. Any time my mom told me I couldn't do something you know damn well it became tops on my "TO DO" list.)
Anyway . . . Kaelin investigated this competition and immediately signed on. Then she challenged me and her Uncle Kent to register to see who will complete the task and possibly win the contest. I have NO idea what the "prize" is for writing the next great American novel and I very much doubt I will have an opportunity to find out because you already know just how silly my writing is. K had offered up this challenge about a week ago and I told her I would check it out, which I did not do as of yesterday. But at 3:00 in yesterday afternoon K and Finn and Keri came over to say good-bye before I left on my adventure, The first words from Kaelin were, "Grand ma, Did you start your novel yet?". I had to admit I had done no such thing and although I had thought about it several times I had no idea what I would write about. She was full of encouragement and helpful suggestions and even gave me the name of a book I should read called, "No Plot? No Problem".
By 10:00 last night I was DONE with a capital "D" thinking about this trip so I figured I might as well check out this NaNoWriMo web site and lo and behold I was sucked in just as much as my girl Kaelin. When we put out the light anticipating a good night's sleep before our journey my brain kicked into hyper drive and I was off and thinking. After laying in bed for an hour building my plot line I finally gave up and went into the other bedroom armed with a pen and paper. I spent the next half hour jotting down ideas for a story and then fell sound asleep for the next five hours without moving an inch.
We left home this morning at 8:15 and began our journey north. The Man always does all the driving so I am left to amuse myself for the next eight hours. I had planned ahead and had my computer charged and ready to write as we barreled down the road at 80 mile and hour. Traffic was light and The Man was in his Indy 500 zone so he didn't care that I was tapping away on the keys of my lap top. In fact he was probably delighted that I wasn't chattering away in his ear. By the time we reach our stop for the night I had gotten myself totally immersed in my writing. I can't wait for tomorrow's drive so I can continue the story. The fun thing is that I have chosen Alaska as the local for my story so as I was writing I was asking The Man all sorts of questions about different areas he has visited in that amazing state. He thinks I am totally nuts for thinking I can write a novel but he was more than willing to contribute lots of facts to help set the story in place.
Do you think I have to include him in the acknowledgments of my book ?
Thursday, May 14, 2020
NEW POST
I have just written a blog that I will not publish because it is full of angst . . . Great word . . .
I needed to write my feelings about this pending 3 day drive from MY HOME to Michigan and I had hoped it would make me feel better once I let it all out. No such luck . . .
We leave here tomorrow and I am praying I will be back in Florida within a couple of weeks. I'm bringing my computer with me so I can blog along the way if there is anything worth noting. Hopefully I will not end up writing from a hospital room as I recover from Covid 19 or a heart attack or stroke. ( Do you think my anxiety is out of control right about now ?????)
More likely I will be writing from the state mental hospital !
Please stay well all of you and I'll be back in a couple of days. God Willing !
I needed to write my feelings about this pending 3 day drive from MY HOME to Michigan and I had hoped it would make me feel better once I let it all out. No such luck . . .
We leave here tomorrow and I am praying I will be back in Florida within a couple of weeks. I'm bringing my computer with me so I can blog along the way if there is anything worth noting. Hopefully I will not end up writing from a hospital room as I recover from Covid 19 or a heart attack or stroke. ( Do you think my anxiety is out of control right about now ?????)
More likely I will be writing from the state mental hospital !
Please stay well all of you and I'll be back in a couple of days. God Willing !
Wednesday, May 13, 2020
A SIMPLE YES OR NO
It is NOT rocket science. . . Your answer will not change the fate of the millions of people on Earth .
Your life is not in jeopardy if you answer one way or the other . . . Well . . . I can't promise you that one.
What is it about some people who can NOT answer a question with a simple answer of "YES" or "NO" ? Some people . . . You KNOW who I am talking about . . . just HAVE to go into a twenty minute dissertation when asked a simple question like, "Do you want steak for dinner tonight?". I do believe that question can be answered with a one word answer but NO . . . "we" have to discuss what food is in the fridge/freezer and what we have eaten for the past thirty two days. I have already processed all that in my mind before I presented the question and am looking for an affirmative or negative response. Instead I get the Gettysburg Address ! Good God man I don't have all day to listen to you. Well, actually I do but it is getting increasingly difficult to remain focused and polite.
Things are wearing very thin around here and although I am REALLY trying to be nice I fear I just may loose it one of these times. Today there were several occasions when I asked a simple question requiring nothing more that a simple answer of "yes" or "no" but which took a good ten minutes each to respond to. Do Men think they are SO wise that they need to elaborate on every single thing they say ? I think the male answer to that is . . ."well, it really depends on what day it is and whether the humidity is above 45% but if the moon is full then you can't count on that being entirely true so I think we will require more time and information before we give a definitive answer".
A woman's answer . . . "YES" !
We are in count down mode here and I am hoping I will make it before the nuclear blast goes off in my brain. Mr. Man has decided we are leaving here THIS Friday to drive up to Michigan. You can not imagine the lengthy discussion on his part before making this decision. (I just listened because he really wasn't interested in my input. It is a 3 day drive which means staying 2 nights in a hotel/motel. I am on edge about this but I guess right now is as good a time as any to make the move. Mr. Man is understandably anxious to get back to his place now that the weather is warming up in MI and and it has hopefully stopped snowing. I will not let him drive back alone. Being on Oxygen 24/7 means he has to drag an oxygen concentrator in and out of motels along with suitcase and a shit load of medication. The concentrator weighs a ton and he can't manage it without passing out. The fact that I am two years older than him, a woman with a bad back, bad shoulders and one bad knee does not seem to factor into this equation. That is my fault for being me, Little Miss "I can do that for you" ! I did it with Husband and now have done the same thing with The Man. I just want to be helpful and kind and it bites me in the butt every time. But I digress . . . again . . . FOCUS !!!!
That is my new word these days for when I'm standing in the kitchen wondering what I was doing three seconds ago. Perhaps I could focus better if I didn't have a man standing in the same room talking constantly about nothing. Today I left the man for a couple of hours while I went to the chiropractor and the grocery store. It was HEAVEN ! But then I had to come home and listen to the blow by blow re-enactment of his morning. It went something like this . . . "I got up and had my coffee and two sweet rolls while I was reading the paper." (I did not need to know any of that.) "Then the phone rang and it was the VA hospital in Iron Mountain, MI where I go to see my doctors when I am in Michigan. I have an appointment there next Tuesday with the pulmonologist but since the hospital is closed for appointments they called to tell me they will call when they open back up."
(And the point of this conversation is ?????). Suffice to say it just went down hill from there for the rest of the afternoon.
I just have to add this . . . I went into the house to use the bathroom and as I put my hand on the door knob to go back outside where I am writing this The Man spoke . . . At first I didn't know what he said so I stupidly stopped and said, "What?" rather than pretending I hadn't heard him. Big Mistake! It went something like this . . .
The Man . . . "An Easy Recipe for Prime Rib" .
Me . . ."HUH?"
(Now this is at 7:30 at night, we have already eaten dinner and it was not prime rib. We are leaving town in 36 hours so there is no chance we will be making prime rib any time soon.)
The Man . . . "A recipe for an easy way to make prime rib! You heat the . . . . . . . . "
And on and on and on IN DETAIL for the next five minutes . . . He took so long with this that I had to pee again by the time he was finished.
And I am going to be shut in a car with him for THREE days ???? Pray for me . . . or maybe you better say some prayers for The Man.
Your life is not in jeopardy if you answer one way or the other . . . Well . . . I can't promise you that one.
What is it about some people who can NOT answer a question with a simple answer of "YES" or "NO" ? Some people . . . You KNOW who I am talking about . . . just HAVE to go into a twenty minute dissertation when asked a simple question like, "Do you want steak for dinner tonight?". I do believe that question can be answered with a one word answer but NO . . . "we" have to discuss what food is in the fridge/freezer and what we have eaten for the past thirty two days. I have already processed all that in my mind before I presented the question and am looking for an affirmative or negative response. Instead I get the Gettysburg Address ! Good God man I don't have all day to listen to you. Well, actually I do but it is getting increasingly difficult to remain focused and polite.
Things are wearing very thin around here and although I am REALLY trying to be nice I fear I just may loose it one of these times. Today there were several occasions when I asked a simple question requiring nothing more that a simple answer of "yes" or "no" but which took a good ten minutes each to respond to. Do Men think they are SO wise that they need to elaborate on every single thing they say ? I think the male answer to that is . . ."well, it really depends on what day it is and whether the humidity is above 45% but if the moon is full then you can't count on that being entirely true so I think we will require more time and information before we give a definitive answer".
A woman's answer . . . "YES" !
We are in count down mode here and I am hoping I will make it before the nuclear blast goes off in my brain. Mr. Man has decided we are leaving here THIS Friday to drive up to Michigan. You can not imagine the lengthy discussion on his part before making this decision. (I just listened because he really wasn't interested in my input. It is a 3 day drive which means staying 2 nights in a hotel/motel. I am on edge about this but I guess right now is as good a time as any to make the move. Mr. Man is understandably anxious to get back to his place now that the weather is warming up in MI and and it has hopefully stopped snowing. I will not let him drive back alone. Being on Oxygen 24/7 means he has to drag an oxygen concentrator in and out of motels along with suitcase and a shit load of medication. The concentrator weighs a ton and he can't manage it without passing out. The fact that I am two years older than him, a woman with a bad back, bad shoulders and one bad knee does not seem to factor into this equation. That is my fault for being me, Little Miss "I can do that for you" ! I did it with Husband and now have done the same thing with The Man. I just want to be helpful and kind and it bites me in the butt every time. But I digress . . . again . . . FOCUS !!!!
That is my new word these days for when I'm standing in the kitchen wondering what I was doing three seconds ago. Perhaps I could focus better if I didn't have a man standing in the same room talking constantly about nothing. Today I left the man for a couple of hours while I went to the chiropractor and the grocery store. It was HEAVEN ! But then I had to come home and listen to the blow by blow re-enactment of his morning. It went something like this . . . "I got up and had my coffee and two sweet rolls while I was reading the paper." (I did not need to know any of that.) "Then the phone rang and it was the VA hospital in Iron Mountain, MI where I go to see my doctors when I am in Michigan. I have an appointment there next Tuesday with the pulmonologist but since the hospital is closed for appointments they called to tell me they will call when they open back up."
(And the point of this conversation is ?????). Suffice to say it just went down hill from there for the rest of the afternoon.
I just have to add this . . . I went into the house to use the bathroom and as I put my hand on the door knob to go back outside where I am writing this The Man spoke . . . At first I didn't know what he said so I stupidly stopped and said, "What?" rather than pretending I hadn't heard him. Big Mistake! It went something like this . . .
The Man . . . "An Easy Recipe for Prime Rib" .
Me . . ."HUH?"
(Now this is at 7:30 at night, we have already eaten dinner and it was not prime rib. We are leaving town in 36 hours so there is no chance we will be making prime rib any time soon.)
The Man . . . "A recipe for an easy way to make prime rib! You heat the . . . . . . . . "
And on and on and on IN DETAIL for the next five minutes . . . He took so long with this that I had to pee again by the time he was finished.
And I am going to be shut in a car with him for THREE days ???? Pray for me . . . or maybe you better say some prayers for The Man.
Tuesday, May 12, 2020
LAZARUS I AM NOT
Remember how Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead . . . well I think I could use some of that sort of miracle working in my life right about now. I have not been this "dormant" since I was in my mother's womb. And even then I think I was much more active. I haven't spent this much time on my back since college . . . SLEEPING . . .
The fact is that I am living with a man who must be part Spanish, in spite of his extremely Norwegian name, because EVERY DAY . . . and I do mean EVERY DAY, he takes a two hour siesta after we have lunch. "Having Lunch" is something I normally don't do anyway but to then lie down and rest for two hours is killing me. You would think that this would be a wonderful practice used by millions to digest their mid day meal and catch up on some Zzzzzzzzzzzz. But in my case it is literally killing me. My blood pressure is going up higher and higher every day from lack of exercise and too much food not to mention the poor quality of food I am ingesting. Not to say the food is not tasty . . . That's the problem . . . I am eating all sorts of things I normally DO NOT eat when I am alone. Ice Cream tops the list followed by lots of RED meat, French fries, bread with lots of butter and cake and cookies. (Please note there is not a single green leafy vegetable mentioned. )
Today I had to call my cardiologist because when I went to my GP last week my lab work showed that my Cholesterol and Triglycerides were all elevated. Not something new for me but the numbers were higher than they have been in quite some time. Add to that the ten pound weight gain from last year at this time and it is no wonder my blood pressure is running high. My GP suggested I contact my heart doctor and fill him in on my lack of self control and imminent death by heart attack or stroke with hopes that he could up the dosage of my heart medicine or at best give me the direct line number to the cardiac unit at our local hospital. Let me take a moment here to tell you how much I like my cardiologist . . . He is young and smart and very down to earth . . . AND he knows exactly who he is dealing with when it comes to me. I called his office today and he got back to me this afternoon. I explained what was going on and being the smart guy that he is he asked me WHAT I was doing different from the last time he saw me. That just opened the door to me having to admit what a lilly livered wuss I was when it came to taking care of myself instead of putting The Man first. The doc asked if I was walking or exercising . . . "Oh sure . . . does walking to the fridge count?" He asked me about my diet . . . ""What diet ? Doesn't ice cream have lots of calcium in it so it HAS to be good for me, right?" The doctor asked if I was eating lots of green leafy vegetables . . .
"Does celery in the stuffing count?" At this point the doctor had an extremely good idea of what the problem might be . . . ME !!!!
I know I write a lot about Mr. Man who lives with me these winter months and I also know I can easily place the blame for ALL my "issues" on this poor man but the fact of the matter is I am the one in charge of me and it is only me who can change this mess of a body. I find it almost impossible to make good choices when this other person is here suggesting ravioli drenched in butter for dinner. The fact that there is ALWAYS at least TWO gallons of ice cream in my freezer at any given time does not help me to stay away from all those sugars and carbs. There are ALWAYS potatoes or bread and butter with every meal and sometimes that IS the meal. There are nights when, if we have had a sandwich for lunch and are not that hungry for dinner, we have ice cream for dinner.
Somewhere on this earth there are several of my former Weight Watcher lecturers rolling over in their graves when they hear about what I am ingesting on a daily basis. I am the "BEFORE" poster child for Over Eaters Anonymous with no hope of ever being the "After". All those decades of meetings and diet books have gotten me no where. It's not that I don't KNOW what I have to do, I just can't seem to DO it. Especially when I have this poor man living here to be my scape goat for my actions.
Will anything change when I return ALONE to Florida in a couple of weeks and have no one to blame or cook for? Of course not !! We all know that . . . but for now . . .
It is ALL Dwayne's fault !!!! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it !! In fact I'm sticking to that story just as strongly as those fat cells are sticking to my arteries.
The fact is that I am living with a man who must be part Spanish, in spite of his extremely Norwegian name, because EVERY DAY . . . and I do mean EVERY DAY, he takes a two hour siesta after we have lunch. "Having Lunch" is something I normally don't do anyway but to then lie down and rest for two hours is killing me. You would think that this would be a wonderful practice used by millions to digest their mid day meal and catch up on some Zzzzzzzzzzzz. But in my case it is literally killing me. My blood pressure is going up higher and higher every day from lack of exercise and too much food not to mention the poor quality of food I am ingesting. Not to say the food is not tasty . . . That's the problem . . . I am eating all sorts of things I normally DO NOT eat when I am alone. Ice Cream tops the list followed by lots of RED meat, French fries, bread with lots of butter and cake and cookies. (Please note there is not a single green leafy vegetable mentioned. )
Today I had to call my cardiologist because when I went to my GP last week my lab work showed that my Cholesterol and Triglycerides were all elevated. Not something new for me but the numbers were higher than they have been in quite some time. Add to that the ten pound weight gain from last year at this time and it is no wonder my blood pressure is running high. My GP suggested I contact my heart doctor and fill him in on my lack of self control and imminent death by heart attack or stroke with hopes that he could up the dosage of my heart medicine or at best give me the direct line number to the cardiac unit at our local hospital. Let me take a moment here to tell you how much I like my cardiologist . . . He is young and smart and very down to earth . . . AND he knows exactly who he is dealing with when it comes to me. I called his office today and he got back to me this afternoon. I explained what was going on and being the smart guy that he is he asked me WHAT I was doing different from the last time he saw me. That just opened the door to me having to admit what a lilly livered wuss I was when it came to taking care of myself instead of putting The Man first. The doc asked if I was walking or exercising . . . "Oh sure . . . does walking to the fridge count?" He asked me about my diet . . . ""What diet ? Doesn't ice cream have lots of calcium in it so it HAS to be good for me, right?" The doctor asked if I was eating lots of green leafy vegetables . . .
"Does celery in the stuffing count?" At this point the doctor had an extremely good idea of what the problem might be . . . ME !!!!
I know I write a lot about Mr. Man who lives with me these winter months and I also know I can easily place the blame for ALL my "issues" on this poor man but the fact of the matter is I am the one in charge of me and it is only me who can change this mess of a body. I find it almost impossible to make good choices when this other person is here suggesting ravioli drenched in butter for dinner. The fact that there is ALWAYS at least TWO gallons of ice cream in my freezer at any given time does not help me to stay away from all those sugars and carbs. There are ALWAYS potatoes or bread and butter with every meal and sometimes that IS the meal. There are nights when, if we have had a sandwich for lunch and are not that hungry for dinner, we have ice cream for dinner.
Somewhere on this earth there are several of my former Weight Watcher lecturers rolling over in their graves when they hear about what I am ingesting on a daily basis. I am the "BEFORE" poster child for Over Eaters Anonymous with no hope of ever being the "After". All those decades of meetings and diet books have gotten me no where. It's not that I don't KNOW what I have to do, I just can't seem to DO it. Especially when I have this poor man living here to be my scape goat for my actions.
Will anything change when I return ALONE to Florida in a couple of weeks and have no one to blame or cook for? Of course not !! We all know that . . . but for now . . .
It is ALL Dwayne's fault !!!! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it !! In fact I'm sticking to that story just as strongly as those fat cells are sticking to my arteries.
Thursday, May 7, 2020
THE MANLY ART OF BEING A MAN
I bet you can tell from the title of todays blog exactly where this is headed. As the days go on and on and on and on and on and on and on with Mr. Man being here I am finding Oh So Many little things that irritate me about this co-habitation situation. The Man is a sweetheart . . . not a nasty streak in his whole body . . . and it seems that he actually must like me to want to stay here with me for SUCH A LOOOOOOOONG time. We really didn't have a choice this year as to how long he would be here thanks to Covid 19 but if the rolls were reversed I would have been out of here a month ago virus or no virus. Sickness is always preferable to murder.
As my BFF Sharon said on the phone the other day, "Cathie, you were so close to the perfect life and you blew it !" This was in reference to my bitching to her on the phone about the need for ALONE time and some space. I WAS so close 4 years ago when I met Mr. Man. Husband had been deceased exactly a year and I was just starting to get into this heavenly life without a man when I met D.
I REALLY did not want to have another man in my life. I had complained for over thirty years how I couldn't stand living with Husband and then I go and open the door to starting all over again with a new man in my life. To use an old cliche . . . It's not them, it's ME !! And that is the truth of the matter. I just don't like having to "answer" or "take care" of anyone but myself. Selfish yes, but true none the less.
But here I am . . . and so in order to keep sane and calm I find as many ways to laugh at the actions of the poor man living with me. NEVER ever do I laugh at him to his face or even to let on that I find many of his "manly" actions to be quite hilarious. Because he is such a good person I would never want him to feel under appreciated or disrespected. I DO appreciate all that he is and all that he does. But some times his actions just crack me up. FOR EXAMPLE . . . Today there was a wasp in the bathroom. I had opened all the doors to get some wonderful, rare, balmy air into the house and in spite of having a screened in lanai a wasp found its way into my bathroom. The Nerve ! I HATE wasps and even though I think this little bastard was just a mud wasp and not the vicious man eating wasps that are arriving from China it HAD to go. My mistake was to mention to The Man that there was a wasp in the bathroom. IMMEDIATELY he went into warrior mode. I think I actually saw his eyes light up at the thought of going into battle with a deadly beast. I had visions of him heading for the closet to get his pistol in order to blow the menace off the face of the earth. Thankfully The Man was sitting down reading the paper so he didn't jump right up to launch the assault. He did question if I had a fly swatter to which I said I did and then he went back to the paper. Now since he did NOT jump up right away to kill the monster in the bathroom I just went to the closet, took out the fly swatter and slapped the living daylights out of the man . . . NO Just Kidding . . . I took the swatter into the bathroom and beat the S_ _ t out of the wasp. Actually it wasn't much of a battle since I think the poor thing was half dead already. As I came out of the bathroom I told Mr. Man I had taken care of the situation so he could relax. I swear there were tears of disappointment in his eyes. I had unwittingly taken away a great opportunity for The Man to display his manliness and be a Hero. He had been ready to don his armor and go to battle for me and I deprived him of that honor. Shame on me.
But it sure does make for a good story . . . almost as good as the day he almost blew himself up with this oxygen and the BBQ up in Michigan. These men in our lives may annoy the hell out of us but they are better than watching TV 24/7 and they are ALWAYS good for a laugh.
As my BFF Sharon said on the phone the other day, "Cathie, you were so close to the perfect life and you blew it !" This was in reference to my bitching to her on the phone about the need for ALONE time and some space. I WAS so close 4 years ago when I met Mr. Man. Husband had been deceased exactly a year and I was just starting to get into this heavenly life without a man when I met D.
I REALLY did not want to have another man in my life. I had complained for over thirty years how I couldn't stand living with Husband and then I go and open the door to starting all over again with a new man in my life. To use an old cliche . . . It's not them, it's ME !! And that is the truth of the matter. I just don't like having to "answer" or "take care" of anyone but myself. Selfish yes, but true none the less.
But here I am . . . and so in order to keep sane and calm I find as many ways to laugh at the actions of the poor man living with me. NEVER ever do I laugh at him to his face or even to let on that I find many of his "manly" actions to be quite hilarious. Because he is such a good person I would never want him to feel under appreciated or disrespected. I DO appreciate all that he is and all that he does. But some times his actions just crack me up. FOR EXAMPLE . . . Today there was a wasp in the bathroom. I had opened all the doors to get some wonderful, rare, balmy air into the house and in spite of having a screened in lanai a wasp found its way into my bathroom. The Nerve ! I HATE wasps and even though I think this little bastard was just a mud wasp and not the vicious man eating wasps that are arriving from China it HAD to go. My mistake was to mention to The Man that there was a wasp in the bathroom. IMMEDIATELY he went into warrior mode. I think I actually saw his eyes light up at the thought of going into battle with a deadly beast. I had visions of him heading for the closet to get his pistol in order to blow the menace off the face of the earth. Thankfully The Man was sitting down reading the paper so he didn't jump right up to launch the assault. He did question if I had a fly swatter to which I said I did and then he went back to the paper. Now since he did NOT jump up right away to kill the monster in the bathroom I just went to the closet, took out the fly swatter and slapped the living daylights out of the man . . . NO Just Kidding . . . I took the swatter into the bathroom and beat the S_ _ t out of the wasp. Actually it wasn't much of a battle since I think the poor thing was half dead already. As I came out of the bathroom I told Mr. Man I had taken care of the situation so he could relax. I swear there were tears of disappointment in his eyes. I had unwittingly taken away a great opportunity for The Man to display his manliness and be a Hero. He had been ready to don his armor and go to battle for me and I deprived him of that honor. Shame on me.
But it sure does make for a good story . . . almost as good as the day he almost blew himself up with this oxygen and the BBQ up in Michigan. These men in our lives may annoy the hell out of us but they are better than watching TV 24/7 and they are ALWAYS good for a laugh.
Saturday, May 2, 2020
STATING THE OBVIOUS
By now it should be obvious . . . I do not live well with others ! Well, I guess I should be more specific . . . MEN ! I do not like sharing my life, space, TV, food, and just about anything else that goes along with existing on a daily basis with a member of the opposite sex. I think I've put my time in after 46 years of marriage and yet here I find myself in the same position once again. Now don't get me wrong . . . both Husband and D were and are very good people but stating the obvious . . . They ARE men and I just have many many issues with these strange and alien creatures. For one . . . They are just plain DUMB with a capital "D". Not dumb in the sense of not intelligent because both guys are very smart and know a lot about many different things. They are just DUMB when it comes to living with me. (I guess to be fair that really is an impossible situation for anyone to be put in, except for my BFF's Sharon, Jeanne and Glo. These women get me and if I am being stupid they call me on it as only a best friend can. And I really appreciate that. I would expect no less . )
I think this "self isolation" is getting to me more than I realized. By May first, hell, by April first , Mr Man would have been out of my life and back in Michigan doing his own thing as only a man can do. I would normally be here "recharging" in my happy little home . . . getting up when I want, eating when I want and doing what I want. I would be visiting with my girlfriends and family when and where I chose. I would be watching all the silly, sappy movies that I wanted at all hours of the day and night and I would be ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks a million Covid 19 for this quarantine where I am living 24/7 with this man. I probably would be getting crazy no matter who I was living with at this point but I KNOW I would be happier than a pig in poop if I were alone. Alone is my natural and most comfortable state of being. I LOVE not having to talk to anyone for days on end. When that starts to get to me I can go out, socialize with friends and family and then return to my state of "Hermitude" . Maybe I was a hermit crab in a past life ?
When alone I can "digest" information at my own pace. Take for example an article in the daily paper or a story on the news. (Not that I would be watching the news if I were here alone but we will use that for arguments sake.) A story comes on the news . . . I hear it, possibly consider it for all of three seconds and dismiss it without a second thought. NOT so with a man in the house. A news story comes on, The Man (and this goes for Husband and D) listens intently, ( an action that I would never have thought possible considering the attention I get when I say anything), and then they are off and running for the next half hour, (if not for the next half day or week depending on the story), "pontificating" on what they just heard. References will be made to past events dating back to the Stone Age and possibly the Civil War just to make more of a point. The twenty second news story will become the MOST important topic of conversation in the last three weeks. The Man will become more of an authority on this topic of news than the most gifted contestant on Jeopardy.
This is exactly the point at which I shut down and go into MY "Nothing Box". (And you thought women didn't have a "Nothing Box !).
It is obvious to me I NEED some serious alone time here. Anyone want to adopt Mr. Man ?
I think this "self isolation" is getting to me more than I realized. By May first, hell, by April first , Mr Man would have been out of my life and back in Michigan doing his own thing as only a man can do. I would normally be here "recharging" in my happy little home . . . getting up when I want, eating when I want and doing what I want. I would be visiting with my girlfriends and family when and where I chose. I would be watching all the silly, sappy movies that I wanted at all hours of the day and night and I would be ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks a million Covid 19 for this quarantine where I am living 24/7 with this man. I probably would be getting crazy no matter who I was living with at this point but I KNOW I would be happier than a pig in poop if I were alone. Alone is my natural and most comfortable state of being. I LOVE not having to talk to anyone for days on end. When that starts to get to me I can go out, socialize with friends and family and then return to my state of "Hermitude" . Maybe I was a hermit crab in a past life ?
When alone I can "digest" information at my own pace. Take for example an article in the daily paper or a story on the news. (Not that I would be watching the news if I were here alone but we will use that for arguments sake.) A story comes on the news . . . I hear it, possibly consider it for all of three seconds and dismiss it without a second thought. NOT so with a man in the house. A news story comes on, The Man (and this goes for Husband and D) listens intently, ( an action that I would never have thought possible considering the attention I get when I say anything), and then they are off and running for the next half hour, (if not for the next half day or week depending on the story), "pontificating" on what they just heard. References will be made to past events dating back to the Stone Age and possibly the Civil War just to make more of a point. The twenty second news story will become the MOST important topic of conversation in the last three weeks. The Man will become more of an authority on this topic of news than the most gifted contestant on Jeopardy.
This is exactly the point at which I shut down and go into MY "Nothing Box". (And you thought women didn't have a "Nothing Box !).
It is obvious to me I NEED some serious alone time here. Anyone want to adopt Mr. Man ?
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