HAPPY NEW YEAR

How could I possibly let the new year start without spewing some words of  . . . Hum, you are never going to hear words of wisdom from me so forget that. Cursing, swearing, pissing and moaning are more my style so Happy New year and here's to hoping I will do a lot less of all that come 2014.
TWENTY FOURTEEN !  WOW !  Remember back when it was the " Turn of the century" and we all thought the world would end, the computers would blow up, the banks would fail? And here we are, fourteen years later and still rolling along. We still don't have flying cars, much to my disappointment, but then again the way people drive here in Florida it's a good thing. I guess in a away it might be safer cause there wouldn't be so much up in the air to distract drivers like H. He drives along looking at everything BUT the road. But at least he is still here with us. What else would I ever write about?  Last year we were starting the year in the middle of chemo and radiation. Now, 12 months later he is cancer free!  Who would have thunk it?  And what about the TWINS! A year ago I sure as hell never thought Kent and Kristen would ever have another baby, no less twins. come to think of it, Kristen and Kent never thought they would have another baby, NO LESS TWINS!
It's always interesting how on this one night of the year we all seem to stop and give a little thought to what we have experienced during these past months, weeks and days.  We think we will do better in the new year, we will be more energetic, get to the gym more often, loose those extra pounds, save those extra dollars, get a new hair style, get serious about cleaning out that spare room. And then suddenly it is new years eve all over again and we haven't changed a thing. But we are a year older, hopefully a bit wiser and it seems a bit more tired and slower. The grand kids are bigger, louder, and more energetic. The spare room is still a mess, the new hair style looks pretty ratty and is a pain in the butt to take care of, I don't dare get on the scale because my clothes tell me I have not been loosing weight and the numbers in my bank account are sliding in the wrong direction.
BUT because the number on the calendar is changing we push on with high hopes once again and the prayer to GOD to bring us through one more year alive and kicking.

THE MOST BORING HALF HOUR OF MY LIFE

So, the "most depressing week of the year" has passed in two days. I guess I just needed to wallow in self pity for 48 hours and now I'm back. Can't say when that will hit again but for now the darkness has lifted and life is back on track.
And how could it not be when Smith is involved? Smith and family came up yesterday along with Smith's Grammy from Delaware.  Kristen's mom was in town with the Pompano Lawlor's for a week and is now back in DE. They all drove up yesterday so we could spend the day here playing with all the toys at Grandma's house. (Cause there just aren't enough toys in the world when it comes to a three year old.) We played for a while and then went to THE PIRATE RESTAURANT, Shipwrecks, for some yummy lunch and a look at all the pirates and ships decorating the place. The high point was when we were leaving the manager/owner(?) gave Smith THREE (3) GOLD DOUBLOONS!  Made his day. The three little gold coins were clutched so tight in his little hand and he showed them to EVERYONE on the way out of the restaurant. On the way home in the car Smith started to doze off and one of the coins fell out of his hand and hit the car seat. The boy was awake like a shot and all upset that one of his coins had fallen from his hand. I held the other two for him and reassured him we would get the third on as soon as we got home. AND maybe grand ma could also find a special treasure chest to put them in.  He was back to sleep in seconds dreaming, I'm sure, of pirates and their treasure.
Once we got home Smith continued to sleep for about 20 more minutes and then he was up and ready to go.  We came up with a coconut shell I had saved from some past cruise that had been carved into a pirate face and made into a bank. IT WAS PERFECT !  The coins are now safely inside the coconut shell and ready to take on his next pirate adventure.
From pirate gold we went to bat catching. As is only fitting of the most bravest of pirates. Kent was cleaning up our yard for Ger when he went on his semi annual BAT SEARCH.  (You remember the previous incidents with B A T S.)  Guess what's back and living in the eves of our house?  YEP !
THEY'RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE  BBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK !  Kent found one and the hunt was on. The poor little thing that he found was traumatized beyond belief but Smith enjoyed it and the poor little thing finally did fly away.

This now gives Ger a new focus beyond the brown palm tree fonds and pods on the palm trees out back. (Anything other than Fox News is a welcome addition to our lives.)
The family left shortly after with visions of pirates and bats in their heads. (Beats sugar plums dancing in your head any day!)

After they left we were pooped  Three year olds and bat hunting will do that to me. Ger and I had dinner and I sat and watched the Kennedy Honors which I really enjoyed. As I was watching, (heaven forbid I should sit and DO NOTHING!) I got working on the medical bills for this years income taxes. I had papers every where and my brain is spinning.  By midnight I called it a day and crashed!
This morning I heard Ger get up around 9 but I just couldn't move. I slept until 11 and then decided I would do NOTHING today.  (And here's where the title of today's blog comes in). I was going to do absolutely not one single thing other than move from one seat to another. NO cooking, cleaning, bed making, clothes sorting, washing, folding, lifting, bending, shopping, paying bills, reading anything other than emails but not answering them. I was going to totally take the entire day off and, well, BE GER. I would not lift a finger to do anything productive for a full 12 hours!
I got out of bed, went into the den, sat down and checked my email.
That took about 20 minutes.  I WAS BORED OUT OF MY MIND!
Twenty minutes was all it took! I sat down to blog after I made the bed. Now I will go make some lunch for H and then heaven only knows what I will get into from there.
I JUST CAN'T DO NOTHING !  Impossible and very sad but I 've got things to do and stuff to sort and put away and clean and move and organize and . . .

MAYBE NEXT YEAR I WILL LEARN THE ART OF NOTHING.

THE MOST DEPRESSING WEEK OF THE YEAR

Christmas is coming Christmas is coming Christmas is coming . . . Since just before Halloween we have been "getting ready" for Christmas. The TV was advertising, the stores were decorated, the mad rush to "get Thanksgiving out of the way" was in full swing. Then the mad panic to make sure the gifts were bought, wrapped, mailed, cards were written and sent on their way, food was bought, trees were trimmed
                                            And all of a sudden it is over
BLAUGH!  Nothing left but the mess and a ton of Christmas crap left over. The more sugar I eat the more depressed I get. The more depressed I get the more sugar I eat.
In spite of the fact that I had a most wonderful Christmas I have hit rock bottom these past two days. The thought of starting an entire new year just makes me want to crawl into a cave and stay there. I guess it is just the past two years catching up to me.

This week between Christmas and new year is the worst !

CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE

I happen to like fruit cake . . .  I am probably one of the few people in the world who will actually admit that. The more whisky and fruit the better it is.  You can put Rum, Bourbon, rye or what ever and I am on it like and elephant on a peanut. I even have, HAD, a great recipe for mini fruit cake muffins that I just love.
A year ago I bought the candied fruit with all intentions of making those delish muffins. A year later the candied fruit is still sitting on the shelf. So I decided that today was a great day to bake. Most gifts are wrapped, thanks to H, I can't bake the cheese cake for Christmas till tomorrow so a fruit cake was in the forecast.
NOT !  I can't find the recipe anywhere. I probably took it out last year and then threw it out around April. But that isn't a problem, not in the age of the Internet. On to the computer I went . . .  2 hours later I decided I would make a rum cake instead. Fruit cake recipes just weren't doing it for me but RUM CAKE. . .  well, that's a different story!  RUM AND CAKE . . .  what's not to love. So the next hour I spent looking for rum cake recipes. Do you know that rum cake is made with vanilla cake mix and vanilla pudding mix?  Go figure! Naturally I did not have either of those things in the house and there was only one recipe to make rum cake from scratch.  Remember SCRATCH . . .  as in pre-packaged food cooking. I remember my mother baking and never opening a box. It was all from ingredients that she had in bags and in the fridge. Sugar, flour, butter, eggs, salt and on and on. I also never remember her baking with alcohol so no wonder every thing turned out delicious.
Well, three hours later I have decided that God does not want me to be baking because I am the only one that would be eating. So I have put the candied fruit back on the shelf, (the expiration on the fruit is something like August of 2015), the butter is going into the mashed potatoes that  I will make for Christmas and the rum . . .
Let's just say it isn't going to waste ! (Hic!)

Cherry Mismass and Nappy Hoo Year !

LEFT OVERS . . . THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE OMG PLEASE TAKE THOSE HOME WITH YOU

So I had my lovely lady party on Wednesday.  As of today I am still "digging out from under".  Not that there is a mess but as usual there are lots and lots of goodies to be disposed of.
Anyone who knows me realizes that there is no "In Moderation" switch in my head. If I'm doing something it will probably be done in excess. This is a problem for my oldest son, a delight to my daughter and an expectation for our youngest son. I like to party and give gifts so any occasion is an all out free for all as far as I'm concerned.
Back to Wednesdays gathering . . .  I invited 15 ladies, 5 told me right off the top they had previous engagements. It is the week before Christmas week after all so I expected as much. Two of the guests called the day of the party to say something had come up and they could not make it. So the count was now at eight. Naturally I had planned for 20 so there was an excess of food and drink. I managed to get a few of the gals to take home the spiral sandwiches for their hubbies dinner but the rest of the food remained after the door closed on our last guest.
My fridge OVERFLOWETH !  What does one do with 2 quarts of cold strawberry soup? I'm eating it as a dessert figuring it is made from yogurt so how fattening can it be.  The remaining sandwiches are packaged up and Ger seems to be working on bringing their numbers down. But the huge bag of fruit and vegetables from the trays is sitting in the fridge begging to be used before they all start to rot. The fruit bag not so much of a problem as I will throw the apples, grapes, melon, and strawberries on my strawberry yogurt soup covered cereal. (Is it any wonder my stomach acts up?) But that bag of assorted vegetables is just not going to go any where. I thought about making a nice vegetable soup but since it is 82 degrees outside and I know Ger will NOT eat vegetable soup that didn't seem like the best solution. Then it hit me !   THE JUICER !  Here I have all these cut up and clean fruits and vegetables to just throw into the juicer and viola, I have a healthy drink.  (Is this how the inventor of V8 got started?)
As Ger walked into the kitchen and gagged at the sight of my maroon glass of juice I was enjoying the most delicious juice I have yet to make. The contents of the juice included, zucchini, yellow squash, beets, carrots, celery, cucumber, broccoli, cauliflower, apple, grapes, kale, and mint. IT WAS REALLY GOOD !  I can never repeat this recipe because it just was a mix of what ever was in the bag and the few things I had going soft in the fridge. The beets and kale were on their last leg since I have had them sitting in there for over a week. (With candy and cookies in the house you think I'm going for the kale?)
The juice was especially tasty with the chocolate covered fruit from the tray I had bought at Ross. There is nothing like topping off a good healthy juice with some chocolate. But since it is chocolate covered FRUIT . . .  well then need I say any more?

FUN WITH FRIENDS

I had a wonderful day yesterday with some really interesting women. The group did not include those two really special BFF's from NY but we had a lot of fun any way.
This was a group of ladies that I have met since we came to Florida 9 years ago. YES, it has taken me that long to make friends ! Most of them are acquaintances, women who have come into my life whose company I enjoy.  There are a couple of FFF's, (Florida Friends Forever), who I hope to have as friends for a long time to come.
I had decided that since we did not have any family coming to our house for Christmas I would have a gathering to celebrate life! These women have helped me through the past year and a half and have come to mean a lot to me. The group included my FBFF,(Florida BFF), Carol. I met Carol about 7 years ago when she took a job in my chiropractor's office. We would chat once a month when I went in for an adjustment and then go a month without talking. I came to learn she had 3 children, two boys and a girl, just like me.  Unlike me she was a talented artist and belonged to a writing group that she attended weekly. I will admit she did intimidate me to some degree with all that artistic ability going on but none the less we did become friends. Now we are together at least twice a week, whether it be for Chai Tea at Starbucks or trying out some new eatery that one of us discovered. Carol was the one who introduced me to Overeaters Anonymous after she took me out to eat a few times and realized I had an issue with food. I can't imagine what gave her that idea but I am so grateful to her for leading me to something that makes sense and works. (Forget the fact that the holidays have put me on a hiatus on the whole weight loss thing.) Carol is also one to challenge me when I get feeling sorry for myself. She is the voice of reason that Sharon and Jeanne always are when I am with them. Carol is my muse and my angel. I am blessed to have her in my life.
Some of the other ladies included Cousin Lucille from Port St. Lucie and her friend Susanne who drove her down here and back. There was Lucy from OA, My chiropractor's mom whom I really enjoy and like Carol have developed a friendship over the past 9 years. There was my neighbor Dottie who I never get together with but exchange e-mails constantly. (She is the source of many of my political e-mails. Need I tell you she is from NY?)  I also invited a younger woman who was my masseuse at Massage Envy. Over the past year Theresa and I have become friendly and exchanged many personal problems during our massage sessions. About 3 months ago Theresa informed me she was going to have to give up her career that she loved. She is having medical issues with her hands and wrists and can no longer give massages. She is now in transition to find some other career that she loves as much as this one. She has worked in the medical field for years and years so this change is really shaking up her life. She is a lovely young woman who married four years ago at the age of 39. She is a huge football fan from upstate NY but her team is the Patriots. Go figure ! She is funny and young so she was a must to have at our soiree.
Everyone seemed to have a good time, the food was yummy, thanks to Publix and their party trays, my home made fruit infused water was a big hit, (blackberry sage and raspberry lime) and there were even some cookies for the sweet tooth crowd. That "crowd" turned out to be Husband. He was the only one with the nerve to go for the goodies. Now I have 18 iced cookies from Publix bakery and no  place to get rid of them. I think they will go in the freezer for January when the grand kids will all be here.

And so I have welcomed in the season of good cheer with a really great gathering of women. WE celebrated and talked and talked and talked. Politics and Religion were both topics of discussion and I did think things might take a nasty turn but the ladies did manage to refrain from fist-a-cuffs. Although I do think I heard a few mutterings of "stupid bitch" coming from one or two people.

RINGING IN THE HOLIDAYS

Unfortunately the only ringing I am hearing these days is the ringing in my ears and the LOUD buzzing from the TV. I do believe the buzzing is causing the ringing but that's up for discussion.

Once again I find myself a week before Christmas without a clue as to what I have for whom. My head is spinning, my ears are ringing and my back is aching.  Is there some Christmas carol about that? "Two wringing ears and a back that won't stop aching!"  I think I will write my own carols this year. They might include:
"Dashing to the mall in a beat up Chevrolet, all the spots are taken so I'll shop some other day."
"I'm dreaming of a quiet Christmas, without the baking and clean up. Oh my day will be merry and fine, cause I'm bringing a big jug of wine."
"Oh you better watch out, you better turn it down, Fox News is annoying and causing me to frown. I am liable to smash up the TV"

And on and on it goes!  With a thousand and ten things to be done the not so littlest elf is sitting on his shelf watching TV from dawn to dark. If Santa is watching I am in big big trouble. I think you get scratched from the NICE list when you curse and swear under your breath. And making obscene gestures behind Husbands back is sure to dump me on the NAUGHTY list. But since Santa usually doesn't leave me anything anyway I figure a lump of coal is better than nothing. I can use it to write nasty things on the bathroom wall.

MY HUSBAND IS AMAZING !

Ger is amazing ALL my friends down here with his complete lack of ability to do ANYTHING!  My BFF's in NY are used to Ger but the gals down here do not know or understand this man. They are learning fast !

I had a most awesome day today with my friend Carol. We went out early, (my kind of early, 10:30AM) for breakfast. We had ice cream! Well, not REAL ice cream but a vegan concoction of wonderful berries and peanut butter all mashed together into a sorbet texture topped with bananas and strawberries. OH MY !  It was better than Dairy Queen and that say A LOT !  Carol discovered this wonderful new place in Tequesta and had to share it! After breakfast we made 3 or 4 other stops, met with another friend for a latte at Starbucks, (minus the whipped cream) and then one last stop before heading home. What a great day with some really neat women.

But as it happens when a couple of friends get together there was a lot of talking! At one point Carol inquired as to whether Ger and I would exchange gifts for Christmas. It seems that after 48 years married she and her husband no longer exchange any gifts, whether for Hanuka, birthdays or anniversary.  "How very sad", I thought. Ger and I ALWAYS exchange gifts. As Carol inquired what I would be getting Ger for Christmas I started listing all the things I had already picked up and the couple of other things that I still wanted to shop for. She then took that question one step further and asked what sort of gifts Ger got for me.  At this point I had just pulled into a parking spot at the post office so I had time to pause and think. The answer . . . NOTHING.  I have already been told that I would be getting nothing for Christmas this year.

And here is the AMAZING part . . .  BECAUSE . . .  Ger doesn't have time to shop. Ger can't get out to shop, Ger doesn't know what to get me.
All that translates to me that Ger is lazy and doesn't care enough to make the effort.

It is AMAZING that Ger does NOTHING all day except watch FOX News.
It is AMAZING that Ger couldn't pick up the phone and call one of our children and ask them for ideas or help ordering something.
It is AMAZING that Ger can't even stop at the local florist, (yes, that would be the one I have pointed out EVERY time we are in the CVS shopping center)
It is AMAZING that I have stayed with this man all these years and never once taken a bat to his head.

Yes folks, he is AMAZING all right.  Even with watching TV all day long and seeing all those TV commercials for Christmas products the man STILL can't come up with an idea for a gift for his wife.

By the end of our wonderful day out Carol was shaking her head in AMAZEMENT that this man could be so dense and self centered and that I put up with him.

And that folks is the truly AMAZING part.              Why do I put up with him?

STOP PISSING ME OFF !

Work with me here because I know most of this will sound totally over the top and convince you that the papers for the "funny farm" should be filled out and submitted.

Last weekend was VILE !  Lots of reasons for my poor state of mind . . . Thanksgiving was over and Kyle and Roman had gone home and I was really missing them. Ger's brain was working at an all time low and I do NOT deal well with stupidity. The man was really pissing me off because he just had no brain power at all and was asking the same questions over and over among many other things. (If anyone in this family is going to get Alzheimer's it should be me because I really don't handle caring for someone who is not using all their burners.) Combine these 2 things with the fact that I ate way too many sweets this vacation and it threw me into a funk. (One of  my OA friends swears that sugar and junk food make her a blubbering mess who can't stop crying. I am seeing that this is very true for me also.) Bottom line, I was feeling super bitchy and mean and I started cursing out (this is where it gets weird for you), Satan. As in THE DEVIL.  I am always talking to God, looking for strength and peace and what ever but I always ignore Satan because I despise him. But feeling as pissed and nasty as I was I decided to give good old Mr. Devil a great big "F" YOU !
See, in my thinking, when things are not going good it is all Satan's fault.  He loves to play games with us and get us to doubting ourselves and those around us. This being the case I got very cocky and gave him an "In your face A hole. F U."
Ever since that things have just been so screwed up all week.  Three days in a row there were mess ups with appointments.  One day the personal trainer never showed, the next day Ger and I were too early because I didn't check the calendar. Day three I was running late to an appointment and there were numerous meandering drivers getting in my way followed by the draw bridge opening just as I was about to go across causing me to be later by another 10 minutes. (There is no such thing as a speedy draw bridge. All those freaking gates going up and down drives me nuts!)
But the final straw came this afternoon when I had a 2:45 doctor appointment. I arrived at 2:30 on the dot and was given a stack of forms to check over and fill in any missing material. While I was doing this 3 other people came in and were also given forms. I returned my packet. followed by  persons one, two and three. Then a fourth person came in and was given forms.  Next thing person 1 is called in to see the doctor, then person 2, followed by person 3. All the while I am sitting patiently waiting. I went up to the desk and asked if they had forgotten me. The receptionist replied that she was just working on putting my information in the computer and I would be called next. (If I got there first why wasn't my information put in first?) When they called person #4 in I had had it. It was an hour since I had arrived, everyone in the waiting room had been called in to see the doctor, all had arrived after me and I still was sitting there. I got up and walked out! Done ! F U and the horse you rode in on and I will find another doctor who does not have A Holes working for them.
As I drove down the street cursing up a blue streak it dawned on me that Satan was laughing his fat ass off at me!  I had been played with all week long and fell right into the trap. BUT . . . I'm done with that game, thank you very much, and will not let myself get side tracked again. I cancelled my early morning appointment tomorrow morning and will now take some deep breaths and get a good night's sleep and start over again.
Bring it on bad boy,  We'll see who gets the last laugh!