JUST SHAKING MY HEAD . . .

I am about to spend a week with my 2 BFF's while cruising the warm waters of the Caribbean. (Husbands are coming too.) We will NOT be at a loss for things to talk about. (We NEVER run out of things to talk about but just in case . .) Husband has been supplying me with ENDLESS material for my next gig as a stand up comic. Just in the past week the man has gone totally DUMB with a capital D. The things he is saying and doing are giving me lots to talk about but some times I really DO feel bad making fun of the poor guy. He obviously can't help himself and the fact that this is actually nothing new says a lot for me staying with him all these years. I guess I just love a good laugh, even if my first reaction is murder.
The latest H ism came today when we decided to cram 2 large pool chairs into the car and drive them up to the Stewart Flea Market to have them re-strung. The plastic webbing is rotting and the last time we were at the Flea Market we saw a place that had good prices for making our lounges look like new.
Problem  . . .  Small Car . . .  BIG chairs. This is going to take some thinking and work so I knew we were in for trouble. Even though the Rav is the car that H drives the man knows nothing about this vehicle. Open the door, put in the key and GO is as much involvement as H wants. He has recently learned how to fold down the back seats but even that requires some help from me. We got the seats down, I emptied all the crap from the back of the car that H would have left and fought with and we were ready to go. It took some doing but we did get the lounges into the car, the door closed and we were ready to make the 30 mile drive.
As soon as we started out I heard a noise that shouldn't have been. At first H told me it was nothing,  "Stop listening for trouble" was his direct quote. (PS . . .  I am driving and don't like noises coming from my car when it is crammed full) WE turned onto the ramp to the highway and I stuck to the slow lane because I really didn't like this noise. The further we drove the more the noise was evident. H continued to tell me everything was fine. I continued to think the noise was coming from the chairs rubbing on the back door. Just before we were getting off the highway H MENTIONED that he MIGHT have left the head rests from the back seats ON THE ROOF of the car. (Picture my face when he tells me this . . .) CALM . . . CALM . . . CALM . . .  I WILL REMAIN CALM !  My response was "REALLY?" H had apparently taken the head rests off the back seats so they would fold down and rather than putting them some place SMART he puts them on the ROOF of the car.
I just happened to be at an exit so I pulled off and H jumped out and SURE ENOUGH! There sat ONE head rest on the roof of our car. TWO (2) seats, ONE head rest.
Some where between our house and 30 miles north of here there is a head rest laying on the side of the road and people are wondering . . . HOW THE HELL DID THAT GET THERE?
If they read my blog they will find out!

OH . . . PS . . . .  the shop was closed today so we still have the chairs in the car and will have to make another trip next week.  Do you think we will find our head rest on the way?

TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS

OI !  What a mess . . .   I am cleaning up the aftermath of Christmas and it ain't pretty! Food all over the place and Mookie treats that were shot out of the "Snack Launcher" that I gave Kent are turning up in the oddest places.  I didn't think we had launched THAT many little treats but those little suckers are in every room of the house.  Mookie was eating the ones she could find but maybe she was then spitting them out in other rooms.  All I know is that the poor Bug Man had a time of it today when he tried to spray the base boards of the house. There is STUFF every where !
And don't even mention the laundry . . .  sheets, pillow cases, blankets all have dog hair on them so it is a laundry nightmare. (Not that I have anything else to do and it is too chilly, 62, to sit in the sun.) Ger is outside puttering and I am actually having a great time cleaning up here and there.  I love organizing and Sharon sent me a "AS SEEN ON TV" organizer. It folds up into a case with a handle but then opens into a large pad with pockets and slots for all sorts of papers and pens. I LOVE stuff like that!
 I have spent the morning throwing things on to beds and am now ready to start pulling things off the bed piles one thing at a time. I can only imagine what Jan Jan the Buggy Bug Man must think when he walks into this house. It is never looking neat and clean. It is ALWAYS in the state of coming or going. There is always a suitcase on the bed in the guest room, having either come from or are going to some  trip. That's just how we live.
But today's mess is particularly LARGE! We have the residue of Christmas all over the place. Empty boxes still litter the living room. Gifts are here and there waiting to be put away. Christmas cookies and all those sticky buns etc that we received as gifts are on the kitchen counters. They NEED to be put away A.S.A.P.  because I have gained 4 pounds back that I had lost before Christmas. I really should just throw them out but since there ARE starving children in China I just can't do that.
Here's a HEADS UP for you . . .   husbands don't like it when you respond to their question of "What can I do for you?" with a resounding "LEAVE ME THE "F" ALONE!  I mean really, I am up to  my elbows in mess and H wants me to tell him what HE can do. Every woman knows that you just have to OPEN your eyes and you will KNOW what to do.  God love these idiots we are married to.  I guess I shouldn't complain because at least he asks . . .  not that if I gave him some things to do they would actually get done, but he thinks he gets points for asking.
HE SHOULD ONLY KNOW!

THREE HOUR NAP !

And I am not talking about my grand children . . .  Christmas is over, the "kids" have gone home and I took a nap. In spite of the fact that Smith sleeps 12 hours a night I am too stupid to go to sleep when he does so I can get  my usual 10 hours. And some how, after spending 12 hours playing with the little guy, 10 hours sleep at night just isn't enough for me.

Smith and parents were here for Christmas weekend along with Mookie the dog. They arrived Christmas Eve morning and left around 10 this morning after we all went out for a nice breakfast. After they left I finished up Kent's mimosas that he had mixed for the weekend and I went to bed. Three hours later I felt like normal again.

It was a great weekend all around. The weather was beyond FABULOUS. Temps in the 80's and sun sun sun. The AC was running all weekend to keep us cool in the house and at night after Smith went to bed we had a fire in the new fire pit out on the patio. Smith slept through the night both nights, K&K got good nights sleep as did grandma and grandpa and Santa arrived right on schedule. It took us ALL day yesterday to open gifts. Smith wasn't too sure about the whole Christmas gift thing so he would open a few things and then get distracted. It is actually a great way to spend a day.  Open some gifts, have breakfast . . .  open some gifts, go for a swim, open some gifts, have some lunch, open some gifts, take a nap . . . .  and so it went for the entire day.

YAWN!

It is too late (9 PM) to write a big blog but I just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS to all.  We had a wonderful day with Smith and his mom and dad and tomorrow I promise to down load some photos. We were up at 7 this morning and took all day to open gifts. One or two at a time were all Smith could handle so it was great fun spreading out the joy through out the day.
Kyle and Family are back from their week in the French Alps.  The skiing was fantastic with lots and lots of snow. Abby skied down from half way up the mountain and Roman skied down from the TOP! Pretty amazing stuff.
Keri and Family had a good Christmas morning.  Kaelin was super excited and Finley just loves EVERYTHING. Keri's father-in-law is still in a coma even though the doctors have taken him off of the sedatives and he is off the respirator. I guess Fred just wasn't ready to face the holiday madness. Keep your prayers coming and hopefully Grandpa Fred will wake up soon.
God Bless you all . . .  time to get some rest.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

And I should be sleeping because there is a 17 month old little boy asleep in the crib in the guest bedroom and I know he will be awake in less than 8 hours.
Smith and family arrived here today around noon and I am EXHAUSTED !  I am in Holiday mode which means I am cooking !   When I have "guests", family or friends, I cook.  I love to prepare goodies for everyone to eat and today I went nuts making sausage bread and cheese balls and even a pizza from scratch because I had left over dough and cheese.  That is just plain nuts but I enjoy it . . . .  until I am too tired to make dinner.  I was delighted to attend the hour and twenty minute mass this afternoon at 4:00 just so I could sit for a while. K&K wanted to go to mass with us for Christmas. I would have preferred mass in the morning because oddly enough Christmas morning masses are usually empty. But the K's decided the 4 this afternoon would work best. NOT !  Five minutes into the completely packed packed packed church Smith had had enough and they all left. (We anticipated this and had brought 2 cars.) Lucky Ger and I stayed for the Christmas Pageant mass and all the extras. Not only was the gospel acted out by the children but then our pastor gave a 20 minute sermon that ended with the singing of 3 verses of "THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY" !  PA RUM PA PUM PUM !  Shoot me now I was ready to become a Jew! If I had had a Shepard's crook I would have smacked our pastor with it and then beat him to death with a donkey.
THIS IS NOT HOW WE SHOULD BE THINKING AND FEELING AT CHRISTMAS ! God forgive me but I got NOTHING, with a capital N, out of that mass. Good thing we went to Christmas midnight mass at 2 PM on Tuesday.
By the time G and I got home I threw dinner together, Smith went to bed, I drank a couple of glasses of wine and I am now ready to sleep in the shower because I am too tired to make it to bed. So what the Hell am I doing writing a blog? I couldn't go to bed without wishing all of you a

                                VERY  MERRY CHRISTMAS !

WARM FUZZIES

H once took a class for graduate credits that included "WARM FUZZIES". It was a stupid stupid class taught by a real character. But H was there with some friends and it was quite entertaining to them. Warm Fuzzies has always been a "catch phrase" in our family ever since.  The idea is that students/children NEED Warm Fuzzies.  It is what the present day "Character Ed" is all about. Be positive with your students/children and they will flourish. As part of the curriculum the class members were awarded little balls of fuzz that had googly eyes stuck on and adhesive feet on the bottom.  Some had feathers on them, all were the size of large marble.  For a time our house was littered with Warm Fuzzies that dad had brought home to the kids. Usually they were given to the kids one day and the next day there was yelling about the damn things being stuck all over the place. I think we missed the point but be that as it may we had Warm Fuzzies.
I was always one to react in the negative and start slapping before I even thought to be POSITIVE. I was positive I was going to kill my kids if they didn't straighten up their rooms.  I was positive I was going to never buy them another toy until they learned to take care of what they had.  I was positive I was going to stop the car and throw them all out on the side of the road. I am amazed my kids grew up to be the amazing parents that they are today. I think they did what I was unable to do . . . break the pattern of behavior that my parents used on me. I swore I would never raise my kids like my mom raised me and yet that is pretty much what happened. I did, however, NEVER chase my child around the house swinging a wooden coat hanger at them. (I was a brat!) My mom loved me but her parenting skills were less than perfect and I totally understand where she was coming from. But I still carried that German stubbornness into my child rearing. My kids have broken that pattern and are soooooooooooooooo GREAT with their kids that I am in awe of them.  There are lots of Warm Fuzzies in all their homes, and not the kind with sticky feet and googly eyes. Just lots of love and hugs and positive reinforcement. My D-I-L asked me last week what I did instead of "Time Out" when out in public. I looked at her in total amazement and said,"I never gave my kids time out, I just slapped them". And that is the sad truth.
Sorry children of mine, I didn't know any better and I hope you have all forgiven me.
Now,  returning to the topic of Warm Fuzzies . . . .   I want a Guinea Pig!  I really want a dog but there is no freaking way in hell that H will allow a dog, cat, mouse, squirrel, guinea pig, gerbil, rat, hamster, gold fish, snake or alligator in this house.  There are many days when I don't feel welcome here so the thought of a PET is out of the question. H "HATES" animals ! He will tell you he doesn't HATE them, he just doesn't like them A LOT!  He HATES animals. I tell people the day H dies I will be stopping at the local pound on the way from the funeral home to pick up a dog.
But what got me on the guinea pig kick was stopping in the local PETCO today to get some gifts for my grand dog and 2 grand cats. I LOVED the store and would have spent a fortune except I had you know who with me. H took a  minute to use the bathroom and I made a beeline to the guinea pigs to see what was there.  They had an adorable brown and white little guy just begging to be adopted (for $34).  I know better than to even bring the topic up with H but I just imagine how nice it would be to sit down with my very own LIVE WARM FUZZY in my lap. Something to give some unconditional love to and to receive some in return.
It's a nice dream and maybe when I make that stop at the pound I'll also stop at Petco.

PS . . . .  Sharon if you are reading this DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT UNLESS YOU WANT ME MOVING IN WITH YOU AND BOB FULL TIME !

WHEN SHIT HAPPENS

We are never ready for it . . .   no matter how prepared for life we think we are we are never ready when the "Shoe drops" or when Shit happens.
We got a phone call from our hysterical (as in UPSET) daughter this afternoon.  I was just unlocking the front door after a day out and about when I caught the phone on the almost fourth ring. I heard my daughters voice and I just said, "What's Wrong" as a million different things were running through my head. Thank You GOD the children are fine and Steve is OK. Sadly Steve's dad is NOT OK. Fred had a blood clot in back of his knee and had it removed yesterday. I don't know any more than that. He was home today and suddenly collapsed on the floor and was not breathing. His wife called Keri and Ker walked Linda through doing CPR until the EMT's could arrive. Steve left to be with his mom and dad and Keri called so upset.
Keri is amazing that way. During the emergency she is cool as a cucumber but afterwards she needs a padded room to release all the pent up energy. When Keri's little brother was 12 our new puppy jumped up and tore part of Kent's ear. Mom had just run to the bank and was gone all of 15 minutes. Keri got a towel to press to Kent's ear to stop the bleeding and she kept her little brother sitting quietly until I got home. Then all hell broke loose and I had one bleeding son and one hysterical daughter.
Today was the bleeding ear all over again just multiplied by a BILLION !  As Keri was talking Linda through CPR she was pacing the dining room where the family had just been having a quiet dinner. Steve left and Kaelin paced next to Keri rooting her on with, "You go mom! You can do it!" Under any other circumstances it would have been quite funny.
So now Fred is in the ICU at the local hospital. He was clinically dead but brought back by the ER staff. As of now he is in a coma and only time will tell how this will all play out.
The week before Christmas and you just never know what life has in store for you. It sort of makes you want to put aside the shopping, wrapping and baking and maybe take an hour out for a visit to church. Or at least a take a few minutes to sit quietly and visit with God and discuss if you are ready to spend the rest of eternity with Him because you just never know when he will call YOUR name.

SLIDING TOWARD CHRISTMAS

 Who wouldn't want a slide in their living room? (Note the cat at the top of the stairs.)
Christmas arrived a little early this past weekend. Smith's mom and dad were very smart this year. They posted a "Christmas Wish List" on Amazon and it made shopping for the little man nice and easy.  One click shopping and a Little Tykes Slide was on it's way to Smith's house. It arrived there about a week ago and poor Kristen has been hiding it in the tiny guest bathroom. The 2 cats were delighted that Gma and Gpa came down on Sunday to drag the huge box out of the "kitty litter bathroom". I think the box was traumatizing the 2 kittys who probably haven't gone potty in a week.
After an interesting lunch out, (it is not polite to stare at 4 adults who can't handle one 17 month old little boy), we returned to their house and got to assembling THE SLIDE. Kent had it put together in the time that it took for Kristen to change Smith's diaper. (I can't imagine how S could put so much into his diaper when most of his and our lunches landed on the floor.)  Way to Go Little Tykes for making a product that was EASY EASY EASY to assemble. Smith came down the stairs with mommy and his eyes almost fell out of his head. He made a Bee Line for the slide and that took care of the next half hour. They must have one similar to it at his day care because he knew exactly what to do.

I love it when a gift is appreciated!
With any luck the slide may get moved out onto the patio but since K&K just found a FABULOUS wrought iron and slate patio table and chair set at a yard sale earlier this weekend the slide may be a permanent fixture in the living room.

After we returned from visiting with Smith we called the Maryland branch of the family and got to Skype with Kaelin and Finn. Dad was out with his friends for the afternoon and evening so Keri was entertaining the 2 little guys. They had just finished bath time and were in their jammies getting ready to settle for the evening. Keri looked like she had had a LONG night. Finn was in his JUMPEROO and Ger and I laughed our selves silly at the sight. A Jumperoo is the kid version of Bungee Jumping. The sling seat is fastened to 4 elastic straps that are suspended from the door frame. Finn was bouncing with his feet and nearly hitting the top of the door frame. He is so different from his sister who would sit quietly and not move.

Finn is jumping and just about crawling at 8 months old. You can just see the look in his eye that he wants to move. Kaelin was busy showing us all her Christmas books and had to run to get the SPECIAL book that grandma sent to her last week. It is one of those Hallmark books where you record your voice reading the story. Keri had me in tears describing Kaelin's reaction to opening the book and hearing my voice talking to her. 
This year I am really missing my daughter and her family but I know that once the holidays are over and Smith empties our tree of all his Christmas gifts G and I will probably start planning our next visit to MD.
You know we can't stay home more than a few weeks at a time.

ARRIVAL OF THE COOKIE ELVES

Two Christmas cookie elves took over my kitchen today.  They looked a lot like Ger and me but they were filled with an energy that I have not seen or felt in a long time.
G and I decided we would get our butts in gear and bake some cookies for Christmas. Now the only people we will see for Christmas is Kent, Kristen and Smith. Kent doesn't usually like cookies, Kristen is too skinny to enjoy cookies and how many cookies can an eighteen month old eat?  Who am I kidding . . . that little guy LOVES cookies so no doubt we will loose a great many to Smith. But even then, who is going to eat the 12 DOZEN cookies we have baked?
We started with sugar cookies and then went on to chocolate chip. I am trying to remember the PAIN I was in after eating those yummy 7 layer bars at Thanksgiving but the smell of cookies has a strange way of blocking my memory. How I wish I were more like my sister-in-law J who eats NO sugar EVER!  I don't know how she does it but the woman has not had a cookie pass her lips in over 40 years. Personally, I don't think I could live like that. I really do want to be LIVING my life even if I am killing myself in the process. It is much more fun and interesting.
So now there are cookies all over the kitchen counter and we have to figure out where to store them until their deliciousness calls to us or some one shows up that I don't have a Christmas gift for. We will give some to the ladies up in the POA office but how many cookies can they eat? Any one out there want a care package?
Not only do we have these cookies all over the kitchen but we have plans to bake MORE on Monday. How can we possible stop with a selection of only 2 kinds of cookies? We need to make some of those delicious cream cheese cookies that you have to shoot out of a cookie press. The first 2 batches of those always come out looking like BLOBS rather than stars, trees or ornaments. But since they all taste the same who cares what shape they come in.
Half the fun of baking Christmas cookies is the decorating. The chocolate chips don't get decorated. They just get eaten no matter what their shape. But sugar cookies need decorating!  WE will make up a mess of confectioners sugar and water with some food coloring added. Green painted trees with some sprinkles added, red Santa's with a mini marshmallow on the end of his cap, yellow stars and blue what evers.
Even though we don't have our children or grand children here to help as in years long past, G and I had a great time baking and reminiscing of Christmas past. It was a great morning and if the cookies taste as good as they look it will have been worth the effort. I'm looking forward to bringing Smith some Santa cookies tomorrow and seeing his reaction.

On a totally unrelated note. . .    Have any of you seen the ST. Jude's Hospital 2012 calendar?
I was given one the other day and finally sat down to take a look at it. If you think you are in a funk and not IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT take a look at this calendar and see if you don't start realizing how blessed you are.  Each month has a picture of a child who is being treated at St. Judes for some type of cancer. There is a one year old and 17 year old and each one will break your heart. I have never  had a calendar make me cry but this one did the job. There is a quote with the March picture of a 5 year old boy named Joshua. His mam says," They say life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain. St. Jude gave us dance lessons."
Take time to dance everyone and say a prayer for these children and all the children in the world who are battling to stay alive. Then think how blessed we are!

COLD WEATHER VACATIONS

Are you thinking Bahamas, a cruise, warm sandy beaches with palm trees?  That's what I think about when the weather is cold and I want to escape. Not that it is ever that cold down here but when we were young and living in NY it was COLD in the winter and I couldn't wait to get away from it.
Out of my 3 kids only one of them followed in my foot steps and found that life in South Florida is like being on vacation. The other 2 seem to like the cold. At least that is what it looks like to me when you go from 40 degree weather to vacation in the Alps. That's where K&B and the kids are as of tonight. A week of fun in the snow! That doesn't sound like fun to me no matter where you are going. Cold is cold and swishing down a snow covered mountain is not what I want to do on vacation. The London group left today to head to Geneva, Switzerland for a week of fun (?) on the slopes. They went to a different town last year and loved it so I guess they don't mind the cold. It does sound very exotic doesn't it? Skiing the Alps in France. La De Dah. But what a great experience for all of them. My thought, other than the cold, are the coordination issues that plague my oldest child. Once he got over remedial skipping in Kindergarten he actually was a decent athlete. Soccer, tennis and golf are some of his favorite sports. Skiing, I'm not so sure about that one. I tried skiing when I was in college and found that those 2 huge boards strapped to my feet had minds of their own. And when you fall, which I did often, it takes a huge amount of coordination and strength to get yourself back up. I usually took the skis off, carried them up the hill and strapped them back on at the top of the hill. Seems like a lot of work just to get a cold butt.
The other child of mine wasn't cold enough living up on the East Coast of the Atlantic so she had to pack up her family and head to "ICE" just to make sure they were REALLY cold. One of the large hotels in the DC area has a yearly exhibition of ice sculptures. Like skiing in the Alps it is not cheap. K and family bundled up and headed off to ICE one of the afternoons this past week. I am told you get a parka to put on to help you weather the 9, (NINE,) degree temps that keep the ice from melting. This years theme was Madagascar, like the movie. Kaelin liked it except for the big and bulky parka. Finn was so bundled up by mom that I don't think he saw a thing. But I am told it was great fun, even though it was COLD.
As for me, I'm loving the high 70 temperatures down here and if I get chilly I'll just turn on the oven and bake some Christmas cookies. Who says you can't feel like Christmas if the temperature isn't 20 below?

A LOVELY DAY AT THE CEMETERY

NO !  Tell me I am not at THAT AGE where a day out means a trip to some one's grave! Lord help me!
But some times you gotta do what you gotta do.  Cousin L steps into our lives every so often and today was one of those days. Her second husband died about 4 years ago and for some reason cousin L seems to think H and I enjoy a yearly visit to Ed's grave. It isn't about the transportation . . . that I understand. At 82 the old girl should not be driving on highways or actually any road. Florida being Florida we are over run with 80 and 90 year old drivers that should be home or out on the golf course. Any where but driving on the roads. And now that it is "SNOW BIRD" season the roads are more deadly than ever. Knowing all this  the young senior citizens, (H and I), offer to drive 30 minutes north to pick up cousin L and drive her 60 minutes south so she can visit her hubby's grave. It only happens once or twice a year so we suck it up and offer it up to the Gods.
But . . . when cousin L calls and invites us to accompany her to the cemetery just for the fun of it I gotta wonder what my life has come to. L had suckered a friend into driving her to the cemetery today and she wanted to stop here, pick up H and I and then continue on down to the cemetery. Naturally, as any respectable senior citizen knows, none of this cannot be done without including a stop for lunch. H and I used to get nuts when his mother would ask him to drive her to the cemetery to visit H's dad's grave. We never minded taking her but when trying to squeeze the 3 hour trip into a work day, 3 kids schedules and  after school activities the words . . . "WHERE WILL WE HAVE LUNCH" usually sent H over the top and into a rage. The poor old lady just didn't understand that H did not have a full day to take off in order to go to the cemetery.
And now we have the same with cousin L. When we call her to see when she will be home for us to come visit her we are submitted to 15 minutes of her checking her calendar for; nail appointments, hair appointments, Maj jong, bingo, dr. appointments, church meetings and all sorts of other things she has going in her busy schedule. But when her call comes for the annual trip to the cemetery we are expected to be ready to go at a moments notice.
So off we went today and you know what? . . .  It was a very nice day!  The cemetery is actually beautiful. South Florida Memorial Cemetery with all it's white tomb stones with green wreaths on them is a moving sight to see. I'm glad we went to say a prayer for Ed and all the other veterans who have fought for our country.
And lunch was good too.

RETAIL THERAPY FOR CHRISTMAS

I know you are out there . . .  those folks who HATE Christmas shopping but I have to tell you I find it therapeutic and the perfect medicine to get me into that Christmas spirit.
Up to now I have been pretty much in the BAH HUMBUG mood for Christmas. Not having seen Kaelin and Finn since October, having Abby and Roman so far away and pretty much just feeling cranky has left me in a less than pleasant state of mind. H has been trying his very best to help me get in to a better mental state but that just bugs the hell out of me and I get worse and worse each day.
Enter a day of shopping!  ALONE !  Yesterday I took off ALONE and had some fun spending money. H likes to come with me ALWAYS and so I never really get the opportunity to truly shop. I can't let go of the thought that H is sitting in the front of the store WAITING. You know those men who are camped out in the ONE chair that these stores put up near the front door. There is one in every store you go into at Christmas time. They have a very bland expression on their faces as if they actually enjoy waiting for the wife. When we all know it is just a put on and they are bored out of their minds and are just playing the part of "GOOD HUSBAND".  Look quickly around the store and you will be hard pressed to find their wives. Some are evident in their harried hurried look, knowing that their man in the chair is a ticking time bomb. Others, God Bless Them, don't give a flying F and are just shopping their little hearts out, Husband be damned. I envy those women. I can't do it. I am the one who is running through the store ripping things off shelves just to have something in the basket so I can say it was a worth while trip.  Bottom line is, shopping is meant to be done ALONE !  Sometimes you go into a store and you just aren't feeling it. So then you move on and go some place else. Other times you walk into a store and it is like everything is just what you were looking for. Hours later you come out burdened with bags and bags of goodies. Then the fun part of coming home and sorting through what you bought is the icing on the cake.
I didn't need to shop yesterday, at least I didn't need to buy anything. The gifts had been bought on line for the grand kids that live far away. Sent directly to them, untouched by Grandma's hands. THAT IS SAD! So naturally I had some "extra" things that I had bought and wrapped and shipped. But it just wasn't good enough to get me into the Christmas spirit. I had pretty much all I wanted for Smith, the big climbing slide that will take up his entire patio, had been shipped directly to his house and is being hidden in the bathroom till grandma and grandpa get to come down. I had picked up toys and clothes for Smith over the past few months so I really didn't NEED to shop. BUT I SHOPPED ANYWAY!  First stop, Kohls.  Not as great as I had hoped.  Last year I did fantastic shopping in Kohls.  This year not so much. Right next door to Kohls is Target so I stopped in there and hit the mother load. I dislike our new Target because the store SMELLS. Every time I go in there the over whelming chemical smell makes me want to turn around and leave. After a while I don't notice it as much but what ever they used in the building of this store sure does stink. I got past the stink and did some good shopping for H and now I am more in the spirit of things.
I may just keep shopping every day just to stay in this good mood. I wonder if H will think my being in a good mood is worth the cost of a huge credit card bill ?

FREAKING RED BOWS

H knows better than to tell me things that other people say about me or my home or family.  And this is just the silly stuff I get nuts about.  Just imagine if it were something serious!
I came home from my MRI the other day and H told me he met the lady down the block and she wanted to know where our RED BOWS on the palm trees were. Every year I decorate the palms in front of the house with giant red bows and this year I just hadn't gotten around to decorating ANYTHING, no less the palm trees. My focus has been on mailing packages to Abby & Roman in England and Kaelin & Finn in MD. I did most of the big shopping on line with direct deliveries to the grand kids but I did have some stuff here that I needed to wrap and mail. Once the Christmas cards, letters and photos were done and in the mail it was time to concentrate on gift mailing. Then I had the car accident and have been running back and forth to the chiropractor and lastly the MRI of my back to make sure there is no hidden damage. I am actually starting to feel normal so I think I can safely let the chiropractor appointment go and return to my monthly maintenance adjustments. (I really do think my chiropractor was pushing the envelope with the over kill 3 appointments a week plus massages but I'm not the authority on backs. And considering the resulting pictures of my mess of a back, I guess I can use as many adjustments as possible.)
A N Y W A Y . . .   the red bows have been haunting me all weekend.  Lynne B was here for the weekend and we had a very nice visit but every time I had a free moment I was thinking about those stupid bows. I even woke up one morning at 2 AM and thought about going out to the garage, finding the bows and putting them up on the trees while everyone was sleeping. But I came to my senses and went back to sleep.
Lynne left this afternoon and H and I stopped at Sam's Club for some stuff, then picked up our NEW prescription sun glasses, stopped at Mac D's for a burger, came home to make a phone call and put the groceries away and THEN . . . put the FREAKING RED BOWS on the trees outside.
They look lovely !  If I think of it tomorrow I will take a picture for you so you can see the expert decorating we do. As I was putting the garland and bow on the mail box a different neighbor walked by and told us how lovely our house always looks at the holidays.
Good thing I had already hung up the bows!

HOUSE GUEST

NO blogs while we have company.  Lynne B is here for the weekend and we have been too busy to take time to write.   WE have been eating and drinking since she got here Thursday afternoon and will continue till she leaves tomorrow afternoon.
We did discover a new "Hot Spot" down on Singer Island.  Johnny Longboat's was great for breakfast with the $1.99 BLOODY MARY.  Great way to start any day.   From there we came back to the pool for a cloudy afternoon swim.  Mass at 4:30, dinner at Quarterdeck and shopping at Ross where Lynne found 3 dresses for $16 a piece.  She loved it !
Tomorrow Lynne returns to cold cold Ohio and we will return to putting up Christmas decorations.

Smith is sick with a stomach virus, poor little guy, Kaelin and Finn visited Santa and got a great photo. (Notice the kilt on Kaelin and the vest on Finn . . . . we brought those back from Scotland)
Haven't heard form the English Lawlor's so don't know what they are up to.
I'll write more one of these days.  Hope you're Christmas preparations are going well. Ho Ho Ho !

HOW COME NO ONE ASKS ME ?

Daughter-in-law K is a blogger.  And a very, very good one at that.  She is a talented writer, does give aways and generally entertains all who read her blog.  The "all" who read her blog range far and wide along with some really awesome people who represent different companies. K has made mucho friends through her blog and has received great gifts because of her blog. When K was pregnant with little man Smith she received all sorts of baby gifts from people who read her blog. Smith was hooked up with some really cute clothes and toys. Of the friends K has made through the Internet there are some really nice people. One couple from NY have hosted K and family for 2 different weekends and have even come to Florida for a visit down here.
The latest "BIGGIE" that has fallen into K's lap is the Oreck Vacuum company. Some how through K's blog Oreck contacted K and asked her if they could GIVE her a new vacuum! Do you have people offering you new $1000 vacuums?  I sure as hell don't!  Oreck would like K to use their product and then write about it on her blog !  I mean, is this a deal or what ?
So where are you girls out there reading my blog?  What kind of offer have you got to make? And right off the top I will say NO NO NO I will NOT take your husbands for a year and then write about them. I have enough material with the one I have here and do NOT need any others.

?

It happens every year . . .   Christmas sneaks up on me and I don't know how it happens.  I am just telling myself that in 4 weeks all the hype will be over and we can get back to living.  I think my Scrooge is taking over the rest of my nasty personality.

Bah Humbug !

IT'S THE SIMPLE THINGS . . .

Christmas cards are D O N E done !  Thanks to a lot of help from H.  Ger wrote the first draft of our Christmas letter which motivated me to get my butt in gear and get it written on the computer and copies made at Staples. I wrote all the cards and envelopes and H graciously folded the letters and pictures and inserted them all into the envelopes and cards. THEN . . . H continued to help in sealing up the envelopes, stick on the stamps and return address lables. WHAT A GUY !
To all of you out there who are expecting a card . . .  GOOD LUCK!  The stamps are hanging on by a thread and the envelopes are barely stuck closed. For a man who can shower anyone within 12 feet of him while he talks he didn't provide much spit on those envelopes. I have added some stickers with hopes that will keep it all together but from here on it is in the hands of our trusty Postal Service.

A GOOD LAUGH

I wanted to write this blog last night but H was already in bed reading and he "frowns upon" my using the computer while he is in bed. (Command Central is now located in the bedroom, rather than the garage) I think his problem stems from my giving attention to something other than him but who knows.  All I know is that it causes a great deal of huffing and humphing and throat clearing. So to avoid that I went to bed and ran this through my head while H continued to read QUIETLY.
ANY WHOOOOOOOOOO   The point I wanted to make was, LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, MIND, BODY AND HEART !  That is a fact !  I know that when I laugh with my friends and on the rare occasions when I laugh with H it is a great healing tool.
I have been feeling like CRAP with a capitol "C" for the whole week. The infections in my body were really beating me up physically and mentally.  Monday and Tuesday I was just a wet noodle and not fit for company with anyone, no less a needy husband. Yesterday I started to rally and I started to function once again. H has been talking about "US" (me) putting together a Shutterfly photo book of our trip to England. He thought it would be a great Christmas gift for his sister Ann Marie, since she was with us on the trip and still has not figured out how to make copies of her photos. I agreed this would be an excellent idea but warned H that it would be time consuming and frustrating. ( I am not as computer literate as I would like to think and the proof is in me trying to create things like photo books.  Yea, Yea, they walk you through it but it is still frustrating till I get the hang of it at about page 40.)
Last night there was nothing on TV (we did watch Survivor) so I thought I would give the book a shot. It took me forever to figure out the size and type I wanted to work with but finally got started. (The other half of the "WE" in this project was watching crap on TV and too busy to help. Not that there was anything he could do other than annoy me with helpful suggestions like, "Can  you make that picture bigger? Move it to the left!". He doesn't realize that I am delighted just to have figured out how to get the freaking picture to STAY where I "dropped" it. )  An hour and a half later H wandered in to the bedroom to take his shower and see what I was cursing and swearing about. He showered and came out to read in bed and was highly entertained by my commentary that was going on as I fought the "PROJECT".  It got to the point where the 2 of us were laughing so hard that I couldn't see to work on the pictures any more.
It was a gift to have been reminded WHY I married this man. Ger made me laugh, a lot, and I think that is why I fell in love with him. Over the years life has gotten in the way and there hasn't been as much laughter but on those wonderful occasions when we find time to laugh it feels great !

REFLECTIONS

I am sitting here thinking of "MR. PAPER CLIP",  "DEAD DOG" and a few other occasions from when we were traveling with the kids on our summer treks across the country in a station wagon and a pop up camper. I guess the laughter is always so much better because it is so unexpected. The usual grumps are smothered in giggles and guffaws and for those few moments LIFE IS GOOD!