I HAVE A HEADACHE

I was up at 7:30 this morning and that alone could destroy me for the day. I woke up because I promised Husband I would get up this morning to take the dog for a walk.  WE don't own a dog, we are dog sitting the Mookster. She is a nine year old beauty, part chow and part who knows what. She is a good girl and I love her but I sure wish she didn't have to pee so early. (Although I totally understand that we women of a certain age do need to make more potty stops than when we were young.) Mookie is named after Mookie Wilson of the 1980's N.Y. Mets.  Our son, Kent, LOVES the Mets so when he got Mookie back in Baltimore soon after college graduation, there was no contest for the dog's name.  (We were delighted that Kent did NOT name his child after a Met player or we might have had a "Daryl Strawberry" for a grand son.)
So my morning started early and it has been dragging down hill ever since. It was HOT at 8AM when we went for our walk and there was quite a bit of humidity for this time of the year. The good thing was we did not meet any other dogs as we walked, only 3 golf carts. Mookie has a problem with other dogs AND golf carts. She goes NUTS !  I do mean NUTS ! She barks, pulls, nearly chokes herself to death. She acts like she wants to tear the intruders to pieces. (Possible with another dog but not so much with a golfcart.) She gets over it rather quickly so we had a nice long walk before heading home to get some breakfast.  There was one momentary stop to attack a palm tree but the tree won so we made it home in one piece. (Mookie attacked the tree, not me.)
Once at home Mookie and I ended up in the back yard playing ball. This is dogs favorite pass time, where ever she happens to be, but playing ball at Grandma's is the best because I am stupid enough to go out and play with the dog for hours at a time. The past 3 days Mookie has not been able to get out because we were having pavers put down around the new pool. The 3 guys working were very good with Mookie but she kept wanting them to play so we tried to keep her in the house. Now that the work is done she is free to roam the yard whenever she wants.
By 10:30 I still hadn't gotten to breakfast and the headache was beginning to brew. That was when Husband arrived home and set my head into "Slammin"  mode ! Husband had been out running errands and when he comes home he has missed me sooooooooooooo  much that he needs to follow me around and TALK TALK TALK.  By 11:30 I was ready to drown myself to get some peace and quiet. Instead I took my "AS NEEDED" Happy Pill and escaped to the shower, where I found a dog with a ball in her mouth. To escape the dog I suggested to Husband that he and I go out for lunch. Not a bad idea until Husband got lost going to a place that we go to at least twice a week. He was totally confused as to what direction he needed to go.  Should I be worrying about this man?  I'm telling you, he is loosing it.
He was so focused on arguing with me about who said what in our last conversation that he totally forgot where he was and where he was going. Actually this is nothing new. He was doing this way back in the 70's when we were first married.  And yet I had 3 children with the man and am still here after all these years.

But I do get a lot of headaches !

H.R. PUFNSTUF

Do you remember the TV show from the early 70's called H.R. Pufnstuf?  I can't remember exactly what it was about except that the main character was a large, fluffy creature named . . .

you got it . . . H.R. Pufnstuf. I don't know why this show should stick in my head . . .  my kids weren't even born yet so I wasn't watching it with them . . .  I guess I knew of it because I was teaching Kindergarten at the time and had to be current on what the little people were watching.  ANYWAY . . . .

Today it came to me that I am now living with G. J. Huff-N-Puff. If I had a dollar for every "HUFF" and "PUFF" and grunt and groan directed at me over the past 40 years I would be a millionaire.  Add to that a dollar for every time I asked God to "GIVE ME STRENGTH AND PATIENCE" I could cure the national debt!
For some reason Husband seems to feel it is too much of an effort to actually SPEAK to me so instead he makes noises. Most often those noises are in the form of a HUFF. Sort of like a HARRUMPH !  It is like a cross between a groan, a huff and a grunt. What ever it is, it drive me nuts.  Which, I am sure, is exactly why Husband does it ! I really don't think it is a very nice way to treat someone.
Lately Husband has been huffing and puffing a bit more than usual. I'm not really sure of the cause. I honestly do try not to aggravate him on purpose but I am thinking that lately just my mere presence is annoying him. I understand how my trying to vacuum while he is watching TV could be annoying but I have to clean some time. And then there are the times in the car that I clutch for the dash board while screaming, "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!". I suppose that could upset him.
 Maybe he just needs to get more sleep. I'll try not to turn on ALL the lights tonight when I come to bed at 2 AM.    

WHEN DO YOU STOP WORRYING ?

Way back when my first child was born some one said to me "The bigger they are, the bigger the worries." I didn't believe them at the time because I couldn't imagine anything worse than a 3 month old who seemed  to cry ALL night.  I had no idea why he was crying . . . hungry, tired, gas, cramps, wet diaper . . . ? Who knew?  He couldn't tell me what his problem was so I worried !
 By the time my daughter was born it was all routine and we were one happy family. UNTIL . . . my daughter started having panic attacks. She would be up twenty times a night and no one could tell us why. Test after test and we still couldn't get any answers. So I worried!
Our youngest son was born and he was so small for the first 15 years of his life that we had all sorts of tests run on him. He was fine but still, I worried.
AS the kids got older there were bigger worries.  Will Keri fit in at school when she didn't have a "Best Friend" like all the other girls?  Will Kyle ace his regents exams? (We didn't care but he sure did). Will Kent hit the ball when playing for his little league team? Will they get their drivers license? Will they be safe out driving? Will they be emotionally scared if they don't go to the prom?  Will they be home sick going away to college?  Will they be safe and careful and studious and happy in college?  
On and On the worries went and in spite of my worries here we are 30 something years later and they have all survived. They have done more than survive, they have flourished.
My children have moved on and created families of their own and those families are just amazing. And I still worry. I worry about the families that are far from me because I don't know what they are doing.  I worry about the family that is close to me because I know what they are doing.  I now have 5 grand kids that I can also worry about.
It is times like this that I thank God for my faith. Each night when my head is spinning with worry I hand it all off to God and I say "Thank You" and "Good night". I can close my eyes and know that all the worries I had in my head are now being taken care of and I can sleep with a clear mind and a quiet heart.
 Thank you Lord for my peace of mind.   I am so glad I don't have to worry about insomnia.

Good night !

THE HONEYMOON IS OVER

It has been 4 days exactly since I pulled my back and apparently Husband thinks that is enough time for me to recover. It does not matter what the doctor says or how I feel, 4 days is all I get !  That is usually about all Husband can take. Not only does he not like having to take care of himself but his tolerance for taking care of me is really short. I can see him getting more and more restless and cranky as the days go by. Husband likes to be entertained constantly and the whole "care taking" thing gets really old really fast. The two of us are in BIG trouble if one of us gets a serious illness that necessitates us taking care of the other person. I see myself laying in a dark room waiting for someone to come to feed and clean me. Husband won't put me in a nursing home because he will think he can take care of me. If it is Husband who is in a disabled state he will find himself in a nursing home so fast he won't remember any other life. I may visit occasionally but hope he doesn't hold his breath.
So as today began I knew the honeymoon was over and I was back up at bat. Ger did put in a wash for me and then return the clean wash to a pile in the center of the bed. I don't see any sign of the clean laundry moving off the bed so I guess I will have to take care of that. Forget breakfast, I slept through that and made it up just in time for lunch. Ger decided to go to the store again, (third time in 3 days) to get milk. I suggested he get himself a sandwich for lunch, something he would not have figured out for himself. As he sat on the patio eating his sandwich he asked what I was planning for dinner. Another sign that the honeymoon has come to a screeching halt.
But I do NOT take this all in stride.  It is 7:45 PM and dinner is not ready yet. I threw together a chicken pot pie and it is now in the oven. Perhaps we'll eat by 8, perhaps not.  Husband was so kind to bring me home a bouquet of flowers which he put on the kitchen counter top and left. I finally trimmed them and got  them into a vast about an hour ago, just before I decided dinner really was back in my hands.
There has been no asking how I was feeling today, no question as to what I could use help with and apparently no memory of me hurting my back and being crippled for 3 days. Nothing new there. 15 years ago when I had major surgery and then a staff infection on top of that I was up cooking dinner 3 days after I got out of the hospital because Husband couldn't find anything in the kitchen and got all pissy when I tried to tell him where things were.
Yep, the honeymoon is over ! It is a wonder the marriage has lasted this long.

A BELATED HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

I think I had one of the best Mother's days ever.
 I talked to all of my kids, Skyped with 3 of the grand kids and was served breakfast in bed.  All those years of wishing for special treatment on Mother's day and feeling frustrated and angry at the end of the day because things just didn't work out the way I thought they should.
Today I finally had a wonderful day. Because my back was feeling worse by the minute I spent most of the day crawling between the heating pad on the bed and the pool where I could float and get the pressure off my back. Ger bought and served breakfast, lunch AND dinner. Ger actually was a help in getting me comfortable and Ger gave me the loveliest card that said exactly the right things. Go Figure !

From the sound of things Kent and Smith did a great job making it a nice mother's day for Kristen but I got the feeling that Steve dropped the ball. He did help Kaelin make a card that she was so excited about that she gave it to Keri every day from the time she made it. But I hear that Keri was told that since her husband is NOT her mother he shouldn't have to buy her gifts. Let me tell you about all the years I heard that from MY husband and how each time he said it I wanted to rip his throat out. What a load of BS !
I warn you son-in-law, don't try that again or you will suffer for the rest of your marriage. Us wives don't forget that sort of crap and it WILL come back to bite you in your ass !  I swear, men just can be the stupidest things on Earth.

Before I get off on a tirade about the opposite sex, I just want to write a little note about my mom. My mother died 40 years ago. We had a lousy relationship and I couldn't wait to get out of the house and off on my own. I never got to the point of being friends with my mom and I regret that to this day. My Mother was an amazing woman and I credit her for who I am today, even though I fought her every step of the way.
She died 2 years after I got married. We didn't plan my wedding together, we didn't shop together, we didn't call each other whenever we had a moment. It has taken me 40 years to learn what a fool I was and what a treasure I had in this wonderful woman.  She had her faults and that was about all I could see. I didn't see how hard she worked caring for my 2 old grandfathers who lived with us for over 15 years. I didn't see how tired she must have been volunteering for Girl Scouts, PTA, The Red Cross.  I didn't see how she scrimped and saved my father's small and sporadic salary in order to make sure there were always gifts at Christmas and my birthday. What I did know was my mom was the very best cook in the entire neighborhood. She could make a feast out of left overs. She also knew how to entertain me with a piece of string and a button or an old cereal box. It was a different world and she was a different kind of mom than the girls of today.

My biggest regret is that my mother never got to see and know her grand children and her great grandchildren. But every time I look at my daughter and my grand daughters I see my mom. I know that she is still alive in these beautiful people. My greatest prayer is that these women in my life will grow up to be half the person my  mother was and that some day they will realize what a special legacy has been left to them.

DOWN FOR THE COUNT

Grandma is flat on her back and can't move. I have a bad back and if you have back problems then you know what I am talking about. If you don't have a bad back, you are blessed. 
My first experience with back pain was 35 years ago when I tried to lift my baby daughter out of her crib. She was only a few months old and did not weigh much at all. It was the whole bending and lifting thing that just gave me such a stabbing pain in my lower back that I dropped to my knees and stayed there till help, in the form of husband, arrived.
To this day I never know when my back will spasm but when it does I am good for nothing for at least two days and then definitely "handicapped" for at least a week after that. I have been anticipating this "episode" for a couple of months, actually since before Christmas. I just knew that sooner or later I would feel that twinge in my lower back and that would be that. Thank goodness I made it to England in January, Maryland in February, a road trip in March and Easter in April. All of the above involved Grandma playing with the grand kids so I am blessed to have had all my fun without incident. But now I will pay the price for crawling around with kids, sitting way too much in the car and on airplanes and gaining that extra 5 pounds.  Small price to pay for all that fun.
So here I am in the king sized bed in the guest bedroom because the bed in here is firmer and I can watch TV till dawn if I can't sleep. Husband is waiting on me, "cooking" breakfast, lunch and dinner and serving it to me in bed. He even went shopping today, put the groceries away and has cleaned up after each meal. (Or so he says.)  I have my little lap top computer propped up on my belly, I haven't had to get out of my jammies all day and I found a TV station that has continuous movies all day and night. The icing on the cake is I get to take a pain pill every 4 hours.

Now that I think about it, this is my Mother's Day dream come true !

A RAINY DAY IN FLORIDA

I LOVE RAINY DAYS !   They fire me up and get me motivated.  Most of my friends sleep on rainy days but I am just the opposite. Today I woke up ready to organize family photos !             AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
Digital cameras are wonderful!    Snap . . . down load or delete . . . end of story.
Not Me!  I snap, snap, snap, . . .down load to the computer, . . .  edit the pictures, . . . upload to Shutterfly, . . . rearrange them,  . . . give the pictures captions and send them on to my friends.  My friends then hit the delete button and curse me for sending more pictures than anyone ever wants to see.  THEN . . . I return to the pictures and choose which ones I want to print out for my various albums.  I have a journal for each child that I have kept since their birth. The journals include pictures.  I have a photo album for each child that covers all the times we have been together since their birth and any other momentous occasions in their lives. And last, but not least, I have an album for myself of all the grand kids and the adventures we have had together.
(There are also several, well a few more than several, frames of grand kid pictures all over the house. Ger says he will have to build another room just for my pictures.) But when the kids are far away it is such a joy to see these happy little faces all around me and that's what it's all about.
Anyway . . .  It was raining today. We haven't had rain in months and need it desperately so everyone was more or less happy to get a rainy day.  I actually got up early, (9:00AM is early for me), and got moving right after I almost killed myself trying to follow the yoga DVD. (Yoga puts a whole new meaning into "get moving"). As I untied the knots of my arms and legs I decided today was the day to update all the kids journals and sort through the pile of photos that have been on my desk since before Christmas. Doesn't seem too much to accomplish, right?
HA!   I am now going to bed with piles of photos EVERY WHERE.  At least before, they were hidden on my desk in the garage . . . Now they are on the dining room table,  kitchen counters and in the den.  Albums are strewn across the living room floor and I am totally in over my head.

It better rain for a month !

SPRING CLEANING SHOULD NOT INCLUDE WASHING THE PHONE

Actually,  that is not true.  The phone, like every thing else in this house needs a regular cleaning. Usually that cleaning involves some Clorox spray cleaner and a cleaning cloth.  Have you ever looked at your phone to see how really NASTY that sucker gets? Blah !   NASTY with a capitol "N".  But it seems this year I have taken the cleaning of the phones, (yes, that is plural) to an extra level. Within the span of 7 days I have drowned TWO (2) of our phones in the pool.  I did not drop them in the pool, as I have led some family members to believe, I took them swimming with me.
I know you are sitting there wondering how the hell this idiot could take not one but two phones INTO the pool. Simple . . .  since bathing suits don't have pockets, (HELLO bathing suit designers . . . got an idea here for ya!) I tend to carry things in the top of my suit. I have a rather large "upper body" (Yea Yea . . . boobs) so when I am going out to the pool and have a hand full of magazines, snacks, drinks etc. I take the phone, stuff it in the top of my suit and head out. When I get outside I situate all my crap on the chair, take off my hat, take off my sun glasses and jump in !  The first time I did this last week I had my BRAND NEW $200 cell phone stuffed in my suit. I totally did not remember it was there until I came back in to get dressed. Need I tell you the many @#$%&**^&$%#$@ I said ?  I tried the trick of putting the phone and battery in the frost free fridge for 24 hours but all that did was freeze the water that was in there. That sucker was DONE ! So now I have 2 cell phones, one that works and one that doesn't.
You would think that I would have learned my lesson from that expensive swim but sure enough I went out to the pool yesterday with my arms full of "stuff" and jumped in the pool only to realize that I had the HOUSE phone tucked into my bathing suit. How in Heaven's name can I be so stupid ?  I really wish I could answer that because I am starting to worry about my mental state.
But before I go for the MRI of my brain or go onto Alzheimer's medication I think I'll go for a boob job and get rid of these trouble makers.  If I didn't have any place to stick things then I wouldn't be taking the phones for a bath.