Christmas Letters

I'm supposed to be writing Christmas Cards. At least that is what I had promised myself I would do for the afternoon. Instead I am blogging. This is a result of my latest SHOWER EPIPHANY. (I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Probably because I am ALONE and it is quiet. My best friends agree that this is their best thinking time also.) Any way . . . In stead of writing the annual boring Christmas Letter I will post this years happening on my Blog ( because you expect to be bored anyway) and just put a note in my Christmas Cards to log in. What do you think?
I must admit I am a dinosaur when it comes to the holidays. There need to be Christmas Cookies (see yesterdays posting), and there need to be personalized greetings to friends, family and long lost acquaintances and neighbors who, if they are anything like us, do occasionally sit and wonder what we are doing with our lives. The CHRISTMAS LETTER fills in everyone on the year past while making everyone think we are normal and doing well. Those people who call or email on a regular basis already know all that is happening, the good, the bad and the crazy. The "once a year folks" get the jazzed up version where we brag about the kids and never mention that we bailed 2 of them out of jail or are raising our 12 grand kids and 18 dogs while living in a rented double wide in Arkansas. . . . Just kidding! Fortunately we have a fantastic family that provides us with much to brag about. But you know as well as I do that you will get at least one letter from a friend or relative that is so embellished that you check the return address and signature just to make sure it is from the person you thought. We have had several occasions at family gatherings to compare notes on various family members Christmas Letters. If we were to compare them to popular authors we would range from Isaac Asimov to Danielle Steel. The fiction is quite entertaining. Not that the letter's aren't based on fact, they just get so filled with "science fiction" and "fluff" that our relatives are hardly recognizable. We end up thinking . . . "Didn't we just see 'so and so' ? They weren't living in a 12 bedroom mansion were they? Wasn't their son the one with the 6 tattoos and police ankle bracelet? Is he really going to Yale? They didn't mention their daughter working at the strip club did they?" HUM . . . maybe I am just jealous that some of the friends and family are better writers than I am. I will never complain about getting Christmas letters, if they are kept under 8 pages, please. And I always figure you can toss them in the garbage if you're not interested or share them with your friends if they give you a laugh.
So get writing and send out the news on what you and your family are up to. We really are interested and appreciate the time you put into writing those letters. A year has flown by and a lot can happen in that time. Share with us and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers for another year.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy . . BURP . . . Thanksgiving !

How was your holiday ? With family ? Friends ? Did you eat too much ?

How is it I can spend an entire month "dieting" and blow it all in one single day? AHHHH, but what a day! All the planning and anticipation that goes into the holidays is what makes this time of the year so great. We drove up to Atlanta last week to spend the weekend with Abby because she and her parents were going to Chicago for Thanksgiving. Kyle and Bridget were out all day on Saturday so Abby and I spent the afternoon making stuffing, cranberry jello and chocolate cream pie. Abby is quite the cook for a 4 and a half year old. I will admit that at one point the kitchen floor was covered with mini marshmallows and Abby was covered with chocolate but other than that we did quite well. On Sunday we all sat down to an Atlanta Thanksgiving dinner. We left there on Monday and drove home to start getting ready for the Florida Thanksgiving. Tuesday was shopping and cleaning, Wednesday was cooking and baking and Thursday was EATING !!!!! Kent and Kristen and Mookie the dog drove up on Thanksgiving day and we feasted for the entire afternoon and evening. Some of us ate so much that she had to take some stomach pills before bed. Good thing I had something for Kristen. The poor girl was positively green. We decided it was the 3 helpings of turkey dinner at 2, some beer before and after dinner. Wine with dinner, almost an entire pan of Kristen's famous 7 LAYER BARS, (that are so good we have to beat Kent with a stick to get him to share), a hot turkey sandwich at 7 and cheese cake before bed. But a couple of Pepsid Complete worked their magic and we all had a great night.
This morning Mookie let us all sleep till 9. A real treat for Kent and Kristen because usually their 2 cats have them up at 6 AM. After a walk for Mookie there were bagels with cream cheese and Mimosas! YUMMMMMMMY. But we walked it all off when we went shopping at Ross' and Home Depot. One problem, shopping made us hungry so we had to go to Jimmy John's for subs topped off with smoothies at the Tropical Smoothie cafe!
AND I WONDER WHY I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT !
AH, but revenge is mine . . . I sent Kent and Kristen home with a bag leftovers and ALL the mashed potatoes and the few remaining 7 Layer Bars. (I think Kent would have beat me if I had tried to keep them.)
So now we diet again! Back to Curves on Monday. Get out the cottage cheese and salad. Christmas is only 4 weeks away and as bad (or good) as Thanksgiving is, Christmas means :

CHRISTMAS COOKIES ! (I am hopeless!)

Widows

So, I'm sitting in church this evening waiting for mass to start and instead of praying I got looking around at all my fellow parishioners. We attend mass at the Cathedral of St. Ignatious Loyola in Palm Beach Gardens. We are the main church in the diocese of Palm Beach County. I mention this fact only to give you an idea of the financial level of the congregation. (We go to this church because it is the closest to our house, not for any other reason. We are the poor folk.)
But I digress . . . So, I'm looking around at ALL the senior citizens in the church and it occurs to me I can tell who is a widow and who is a widower. It's really quite simple. There are any number of women in the church who are dressed in most expensive clothes and jewelry. Their hair is perfectly arranged (and colored, not too many purple or blue), their nails are manicured, their makeup is stunning and they are all smiling. These are the WIDOWS. The remainder of the females in the church are dressed in what ever had the least wrinkles and/or still fit our ever expanding thighs. Our hair is hand raked in the car on the way to mass and makeup, if any is limited to a smear of lipstick. We have the latest plastic or rag purse that we bought for $5 at the flea market and our shoes are vintage 1987 because they still fit. The bags under our eyes can be seen across a football field and we can't stop yawning throughout the entire mass.
On the other hand we have the WIDOWERS. These are the men who have on sandals with 2 different color socks. Their pants are stained and baggy and come no where near to matching the wrinkled, stained plaid shirt that they are wearing. They all desperately need a hair cut and don't have a clue that the mustard from their hot dog at lunch is still smeared across their chin. The remaining men in the church are the married men who put the widowers to shame with their smart outfits and polished shoes. Their hair is trimmed and they are wearing expensive watches and eye glasses. They look well rested and at peace with the world.
I have hopes that some day I too will have the opportunity to be the good looking 80 year old with the gold jewelry but I fear Ger will "win" and get to be the sloppy old guy with the pants that are falling off his butt and the hair in his ears. After all, he has been practicing since he retired.

Daughters

I never wanted to have a daughter. My mom and I were always at odds and fought like cats and dogs. So I figured all moms and daughters acted that way. My first child was a boy and for 4 years Kyle was just an adorable and fantastic little guy. (He is still awesome) Life was perfect. Then I got pregnant again and wondered if I could possibly luck out a second time and have another "perfect" kid. In those days there was no such thing as sonograms so the sex of the baby was always a surprise. I went into labor, and the next thing I knew I was staring into the eyes of the most beautiful little baby girl in the world. Keri was all of 15 minutes old when she looked into my eyes and we had an instant connection. All my fears left and I knew we would be the best of friends forever. Even when my third child, Kent, was born I don't remember the instant connection that happened with Kerrin. (Ger says it must have been the drugs) I adore my sons but there is something about a daughter that can't compare. We had a lot of tough times with Keri and her anxieties but she is the most amazing young woman. I came to think that I was lucky to have only had one daughter because I couldn't possibly feel this way about another girl.
And then my sons got married . . . As amazing as these boys of mine are they have found the perfect partners. Their wives, my daughter-in-laws, bring out the absolute best in my sons. And they never blame me for all their husbands faults. We just laugh and chalk it up to the fact that they are men and take after their father.
I couldn't love these girls more if I had given birth to them. These 3 young women in our family are just wonderful. They bring joy and love into the world each and every day. Each of them has chosen a different path in life and each of them excels in what they do. I have been blessed !
I got thinking about this because of Kristen's blog. She is the sweetest thing and deserves better from her family. I know how lucky Kent is to have her as his wife and I know he understands how blessed he is to have found her.
Her birthday is on Sunday and I wish for her a full life of joy, happiness, love, health and babies of her own that she will love as much as we love her.
To my beautiful Bridget, Kyle's wife and Abby's mom. You are amazing and have given this family the a precious gift. You have given Kyle the gift of love which has opened his world. We adore you and are in awe of you and Kyle. You are the most wonderful parents and I see God's Blessings in each of you.
And to my own daughter, Keri . . . the best thing I can wish for you is that you and your daughter have the same relationship that you and I have. Kaelin knows how wonderful you are. I see that in the way the two of you light up when you see each other. Steve is a fantastic dad but mother's and daughters have that special bond that is the greatest blessing of all.
Thank you God for blessing Ger and I all these wonderful young people in our lives. I love you all.

Revelation

I was just puttering around the house with my music on and it occurred to me I AM ONE STEP AWAY FORM BECOMING A COUNTRY WESTERN SONG WRITER ! Think about it . . . all country songs are based on moaning and groaning about problems.
What is my blog based on? PISSING AND MOANING AND GROANING!
So next time you decide to read my crap, make sure to put some music on first.
Do you think I'll go platinum or gold ?

Moods

Well good evening. . . Where have I been? Sure wish someone could answer that for me cause I have no idea what I have been doing that has pulled me away from writing. (If you can call this writing. I call it therapy.) I have been traveling but that was weeks ago. I have been cleaning, but that was VERY short lived. I have been eating and sleeping and, well, just plain living. You know the routine, shopping for food, putting away food, cooking food, putting away leftover food. I lead such an exciting life. (Actually I really do!) And through all this I have gone from HAPPY, to tired, to angry, to lazy, to energized, to "who cares" or as I usually say"Who gives a shit" or a "flying 'F'" depending on how bad a day it is. And that is all in the span of about twenty minutes. So you can only imagine what an entire day is like, no less a week. As a result of this I have decided I am BiPolar to the Nth degree. Now please don't take offense, I am not mocking the disorder. What I am saying is that there are a lot of unfortunate people out there suffering from this problem. They are diagnoised, put on different meds and hopefully can lead "normal" lives. Then there are the rest of us who, although not diagnosed with any disorder, are just a up and down with their moods. Blame the hormones, blame the fact that we are female, blame diet, lack of exercise, stress, you name it, we have it. The fact remains that I am as volitle as a capsule of nitro glycerine and my husband just doesn't know how to handle me. Hell, I don't know how to handle me. I think the old lable of MANIC DEPRESSION really says more than bi-polar. Some times I feel really WOOPIE good. Other times I feel REALLY depressed. But I guess that term is too politically incorect and gives one the feeling of being a maniac which is one step this side of nuts.
But politically correct or not, I AM NUTS ! Some days it is a good nuts and some days don't even look my way. I wonder about people like my husband who are ALWAYS just sooooooooooo mellow. Is he for real? I mean, I'm on drugs and I drink and I still can't be mellow all the time. What is with him? Boring !!!! So even though I am swinging through my moods like a monkey through the jungle, I am NEVER bored. Every day is an adventure cause every day I get to wake up and be totally surprised at how I am feeling. Just God help those who live with me!