Today I got an e-mail from a family member who I have known for over 50 years and to say the least it was not very nice. Apparently I messed up and forwarded a Christmas e-mail to my entire "Friends" list rather than just to my Republican friends. My Bad . . . In response to my goof this particular in-law sent me a NASTY note to tell me in no uncertain terms that she did NOT like what I had sent. There was no greeting, no room for error, no allowance for the fact that I am senile at times and not as perfect as the rest of the world appears to be. HEY, I screwed up and I am very sorry for offending anyone who has different political affiliations from me. But SERIOUSLY . . . you had to get THAT angry over this ???????? Whoa . . . CHILL OUT PEOPLE ! You get something that you don't agree with hit the "f'ing" DELETE button, don't read any further, move on and get over it.
WHERE DOES THIS HATE COME FROM that so many people are feeling for the past three years ?
Our political views are our own and if you don't agree with some one else's ideas you just nod your head, move on and don't discuss politics. That 's what my BFF Sharon and I do. We have been BEST friends for well over 45 years and I love her more than I would love a sister but we are at totally opposite ends of the political spectrum. A few years ago she politely asked me to cease and desist in sending her anything political. I have tried to honor that and I don't love her any less. We can talk about EVERYTHING except politics and that is fine with both of us. Occasionally I make a mistake and she knows that it is not meant to be hurtful it is just me being a ditz and screwing up yet again. I don't hate her because she supports a different political party and she makes the same concession for me.
But not everyone is capable of being like this. The majority of people I have encountered who do not support our present president HATE him with a capital "H". Where does this come from ??? Why such violent reactions to the leader of our country? I get it that you may or may not be happy with who is in charge but if you are on the "loosing" end of an election take a deep breath and wait 4 years and you will have another opportunity to get someone you do like into the Oval Office. I did that with the last president . . . I was very disappointed when President Obama was elected but that's what ELECTIONS are all about. It's the people who are choosing . . . (And don't bother explaining the "Electoral College" . . . the majority of the country who voted chose the candidate they wanted.) I trust in our country to get it right so when you "LOSE" suck it up and move on. WHY are so many people expending SOOOOOOO much energy hating everyone and everything that does not agree with them.
I don't think GOD is very happy with us these days . . . turning against friends and family, being SO adamant that we can't even be civil to others who don't agree with us. That's not what we were put here to do. What happened to love your neighbor ? What happened to giving someone the benefit of the doubt before we attack ?
Maybe our next president will give some serious thought to putting Prozac in the country's drinking water. Take a chill pill folks. Life is way too short to get so worked up.
Think of the example we are setting for our children. All the school shootings and street attacks are happening for a reason. Our kids are picking up on our attitudes and reactions to life. When someone can get so upset and worked up about politics we need to remember that our kids are watching and taking note that it is "perfectly normal" to hate and be vocal about that hate.
What has happened to Forgiveness, Empathy, Patience, Compassion and Acceptance? Remember the AA prayer . . . God give me the strength to accept with serenity the things I can not change
The courage to change the things that I can change
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Friday, December 27, 2019
Monday, December 23, 2019
HOLIDAY RETURNS
Tis the season for gift giving which only leads to standing in the endlessly long RETURN line at your favorite store.
I called my daughter two days ago and when she answered I could tell she was in her car heading somewhere. When I asked where she was going she told me she was going to Kohls and Five Below to return 2 items. (In case you aren't familiar with Five Below it is similar to a Dollar Store but everything in the place costs less than five dollars. It also carries items that are very different from your run of the mill junk store. I always find something out of the ordinary that I just must have because, after all, it only costs five dollars !! ) But because things are so cheap I couldn't imagine why my daughter would bother to travel across town to return something so inexpensive. Being my daughter she knew EXACTLY what I was thinking so she went right into an explanation. Keri had bought something for her daughter and then found a better one somewhere else. She said she was going to drop the cheaper toy in one of the "Toys for Tots" bins but because it was only 5 days before Christmas all the collection bins had been removed from the stores. And so she returned a $5 toy. She did not learn this from her mother who will buy something, decide 2 weeks later that I really don't want it and will then donate it to a charity. I HATE returning things !!!
And so today when The Man and I took a ride to visit the infamous Cousin Lu Lu I cringed when she "asked" me to take her to the store to return something. Every time I visit my cousin she will have several things for me to do. The tasks range from taking out the garbage, walking the dog, helping her do something on her computer or take her shopping. I am always rewarded with lunch out at Friendlies or some other local chain eating establishment for which she ALWAYS has a coupon. The adventures are endless and exhausting and usually give me much fodder for my next blog once I stop laughing/crying/muttering to myself. There is never a dull visit !
I thought I had seen it all when it came to the outrageous and ridiculous actions of my dear cousin but today was beyond anything I have experienced in all my years.
TODAY WE RETURNED . . . . . . . . . ICE CREAM. !!!
Yes, I said ice cream . . . melted, partially eaten ice cream .
I know people return all sorts of things but I draw the line at ice cream. In fact pretty much any food item should never be returned unless it has spoiled. There are times when you open a package of meat and it is rotten. Or a container of milk smells awful when you open it at home. It does happen, and at the price of groceries these days you should take it back to either exchange it for a new item or get your money back. But to return food that you have purchased, brought home and EATEN . . . and then decided you did not like how it tastes . . . THAT is not reason to return it !! You bought it, it is yours . . . it is not damaged, it is not spoiled, it is too bad that you don't like how it tastes but you bought it !! If you don't like it give it away or throw it out but do NOT return it to the store. By doing this you are just adding to the rising cost of food. Melted, half eaten ice cream can not be returned to the shelf for another customer to buy. It is being thrown out and the store now has had to refund you a whopping $6. This woman has more money than God but actually took back a half gallon of ice cream because she didn't like it !!!!!!!
When we arrived at cousin Lu's house today you should have seen the look D's and my faces when Lu told us where we were going and why. Dwayne looked at me with the, "You have GOT to be kidding" look on his face and I had all I could do from saying exactly that to my cousin. SERIOUSLY ????? There, sitting on the kitchen table in a brown paper shopping bag was a half gallon of vanilla ice cream. I don't know how long it had been sitting on the table and I don't know how any one could not like vanilla ice cream but return it we did. When we pulled up in front of Publix Dwayne actually got out of the car to go into the store with Lucille. I expected that he would wait in the car because walking with his oxygen is extremely difficult. I looked at him and wondering why he would make this effort to which he answered, " I HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS !"
The girl at the customer service counter did now blink an eye when Lucille handed her the now soggy bag. She glanced in to the bag before placing it in to a large plastic bag and deposited it into a plastic container on the floor. She calmly handed my cousin her precious six dollars and went on to the next customer.
Apparently this is a common occurrence in this oasis of wacky octogenarians.
Dwayne and I will be laughing over this day for months to come.
I called my daughter two days ago and when she answered I could tell she was in her car heading somewhere. When I asked where she was going she told me she was going to Kohls and Five Below to return 2 items. (In case you aren't familiar with Five Below it is similar to a Dollar Store but everything in the place costs less than five dollars. It also carries items that are very different from your run of the mill junk store. I always find something out of the ordinary that I just must have because, after all, it only costs five dollars !! ) But because things are so cheap I couldn't imagine why my daughter would bother to travel across town to return something so inexpensive. Being my daughter she knew EXACTLY what I was thinking so she went right into an explanation. Keri had bought something for her daughter and then found a better one somewhere else. She said she was going to drop the cheaper toy in one of the "Toys for Tots" bins but because it was only 5 days before Christmas all the collection bins had been removed from the stores. And so she returned a $5 toy. She did not learn this from her mother who will buy something, decide 2 weeks later that I really don't want it and will then donate it to a charity. I HATE returning things !!!
And so today when The Man and I took a ride to visit the infamous Cousin Lu Lu I cringed when she "asked" me to take her to the store to return something. Every time I visit my cousin she will have several things for me to do. The tasks range from taking out the garbage, walking the dog, helping her do something on her computer or take her shopping. I am always rewarded with lunch out at Friendlies or some other local chain eating establishment for which she ALWAYS has a coupon. The adventures are endless and exhausting and usually give me much fodder for my next blog once I stop laughing/crying/muttering to myself. There is never a dull visit !
I thought I had seen it all when it came to the outrageous and ridiculous actions of my dear cousin but today was beyond anything I have experienced in all my years.
TODAY WE RETURNED . . . . . . . . . ICE CREAM. !!!
Yes, I said ice cream . . . melted, partially eaten ice cream .
I know people return all sorts of things but I draw the line at ice cream. In fact pretty much any food item should never be returned unless it has spoiled. There are times when you open a package of meat and it is rotten. Or a container of milk smells awful when you open it at home. It does happen, and at the price of groceries these days you should take it back to either exchange it for a new item or get your money back. But to return food that you have purchased, brought home and EATEN . . . and then decided you did not like how it tastes . . . THAT is not reason to return it !! You bought it, it is yours . . . it is not damaged, it is not spoiled, it is too bad that you don't like how it tastes but you bought it !! If you don't like it give it away or throw it out but do NOT return it to the store. By doing this you are just adding to the rising cost of food. Melted, half eaten ice cream can not be returned to the shelf for another customer to buy. It is being thrown out and the store now has had to refund you a whopping $6. This woman has more money than God but actually took back a half gallon of ice cream because she didn't like it !!!!!!!
When we arrived at cousin Lu's house today you should have seen the look D's and my faces when Lu told us where we were going and why. Dwayne looked at me with the, "You have GOT to be kidding" look on his face and I had all I could do from saying exactly that to my cousin. SERIOUSLY ????? There, sitting on the kitchen table in a brown paper shopping bag was a half gallon of vanilla ice cream. I don't know how long it had been sitting on the table and I don't know how any one could not like vanilla ice cream but return it we did. When we pulled up in front of Publix Dwayne actually got out of the car to go into the store with Lucille. I expected that he would wait in the car because walking with his oxygen is extremely difficult. I looked at him and wondering why he would make this effort to which he answered, " I HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS !"
The girl at the customer service counter did now blink an eye when Lucille handed her the now soggy bag. She glanced in to the bag before placing it in to a large plastic bag and deposited it into a plastic container on the floor. She calmly handed my cousin her precious six dollars and went on to the next customer.
Apparently this is a common occurrence in this oasis of wacky octogenarians.
Dwayne and I will be laughing over this day for months to come.
Sunday, December 15, 2019
MY FAVORITE WEEK OF THE YEAR
I love this week before Christmas. It is the span of seven days that I have before everything gets really crazy on Christmas Adam and Christmas Eve. (Christmas Adam is the day before Christmas Eve because Adam came before Eve.).
This week is the best because I usually have everything done, cards written and mailed, gifts purchased and wrapped.
This is the week that I will find some time to bake those wonderful Christmas cookies that I will end up eating all by myself. There is Christmas music on the radio in my car and on the stereo in my house. (In spite of the fact that it drives The Man crazy. But since I put up with Hockey, football and country music the entire time I am with him I figure a week or two of Christmas music is the least I can have.) The little tree is up and decorated, the lights are up outside and all is well with my world.
I was driving home from mass this morning at 9 AM and there were very few people on the roads. Early Sunday morning is usually nice and quiet around here so I get to do a lot of thinking as I drive to and from church. For some reason the world was just a little brighter and a lot happier this morning and I got to thinking about how much I enjoy this final full week before the Christmas explosion. This is the week that the excitement and anticipation of this wonderful season is at its peak. It is also the week that many people are in full panic mode and are driving and acting like lunatics but in my own little world life is just beautiful.
I love the building excitement of wondering if my family will like the gifts I am giving them. I really enjoy shopping for my family and friends because I shop all year long. When I see something that I just KNOW someone will love I have to purchase it and tuck it away till December. I have even gotten very good at "hiding" these items all in one place so that when it's time to wrap and deliver them I actually know where everything is. The joy of giving a gift that you have chosen for a special person in your life is better than any gift I could receive.
I like wrapping gifts . . . Choosing the right paper for each person and decorating the package is great fun.
Yesterday I went down to see my three grand kids in Pompano. I went down early so that their dad could go to his gym and do his work out without having to bring the kids along. Once my son left for the gym I told the kids we were going to Walmart to do some Christmas shopping for their dad. (Mom and dad are divorced and although they are still friends they are both over worked and spread thin juggling three kids between two houses.) The idea of Christmas shopping for their dad really got the kids excited and moving so we were in the store by 9:45 AM. It was perfect ! While we were driving to Walmart I had the three kids brain storming what they wanted to get their dad. Five year old Grey had a pen and paper in the back seat so she was our secretary in charge of writing down our list. I asked them for ideas and the very first thing they wanted to buy their dad was BEER. And we think kids aren't paying attention ! Once we got past that idea they decided they wanted to buy their father SHOES. (I almost drove off the road when they came up with that idea.) You would have to know my fashion conscious son who wouldn't be caught dead in Walmart shoes to really appreciate this. But the kids were adamant about the shoes so that is what we bought. They decided the shoes had to be "fancy" shoes, not sneakers and they had to be black. Did you know you can actually get a fairly nice looking pair of mens shoes for under $25 ? God only knows how comfortable they will be but the kids tested each pair in the store until they found a pair that fit all their criteria. I can not tell you how excited these kids are about this pair of shoes. We had to buy just the right wrapping paper for the shoes along with a tie and some air freshener for my son's car.
We spent an hour and a half running, literally running, around Walmart. We all had such a GREAT time. . . it was the best day ever. Once we got home they immediately had to wrap their gifts, put them all in a huge gift bag and then decorate the bag. The bag now has no less than fifty labels and stickers decorating it but it is their creation so it looks amazing.
As I was driving home yesterday I couldn't stop smiling at what a fun time we had together. I would love to be a fly on the wall on Christmas morning to see my son opening these gifts. I DO have my doubts that the kids will actually be able to make it to Christmas without telling their dad what they bought him. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they had him opening the gifts after school some day this week. But it doesn't matter . . . This is the best week of the year for excitement, love, celebrating and giving.
Have a fantastic week . . . enjoy each day because we will have to wait a whole year until we feel this wonderful again.
This week is the best because I usually have everything done, cards written and mailed, gifts purchased and wrapped.
This is the week that I will find some time to bake those wonderful Christmas cookies that I will end up eating all by myself. There is Christmas music on the radio in my car and on the stereo in my house. (In spite of the fact that it drives The Man crazy. But since I put up with Hockey, football and country music the entire time I am with him I figure a week or two of Christmas music is the least I can have.) The little tree is up and decorated, the lights are up outside and all is well with my world.
I was driving home from mass this morning at 9 AM and there were very few people on the roads. Early Sunday morning is usually nice and quiet around here so I get to do a lot of thinking as I drive to and from church. For some reason the world was just a little brighter and a lot happier this morning and I got to thinking about how much I enjoy this final full week before the Christmas explosion. This is the week that the excitement and anticipation of this wonderful season is at its peak. It is also the week that many people are in full panic mode and are driving and acting like lunatics but in my own little world life is just beautiful.
I love the building excitement of wondering if my family will like the gifts I am giving them. I really enjoy shopping for my family and friends because I shop all year long. When I see something that I just KNOW someone will love I have to purchase it and tuck it away till December. I have even gotten very good at "hiding" these items all in one place so that when it's time to wrap and deliver them I actually know where everything is. The joy of giving a gift that you have chosen for a special person in your life is better than any gift I could receive.
I like wrapping gifts . . . Choosing the right paper for each person and decorating the package is great fun.
Yesterday I went down to see my three grand kids in Pompano. I went down early so that their dad could go to his gym and do his work out without having to bring the kids along. Once my son left for the gym I told the kids we were going to Walmart to do some Christmas shopping for their dad. (Mom and dad are divorced and although they are still friends they are both over worked and spread thin juggling three kids between two houses.) The idea of Christmas shopping for their dad really got the kids excited and moving so we were in the store by 9:45 AM. It was perfect ! While we were driving to Walmart I had the three kids brain storming what they wanted to get their dad. Five year old Grey had a pen and paper in the back seat so she was our secretary in charge of writing down our list. I asked them for ideas and the very first thing they wanted to buy their dad was BEER. And we think kids aren't paying attention ! Once we got past that idea they decided they wanted to buy their father SHOES. (I almost drove off the road when they came up with that idea.) You would have to know my fashion conscious son who wouldn't be caught dead in Walmart shoes to really appreciate this. But the kids were adamant about the shoes so that is what we bought. They decided the shoes had to be "fancy" shoes, not sneakers and they had to be black. Did you know you can actually get a fairly nice looking pair of mens shoes for under $25 ? God only knows how comfortable they will be but the kids tested each pair in the store until they found a pair that fit all their criteria. I can not tell you how excited these kids are about this pair of shoes. We had to buy just the right wrapping paper for the shoes along with a tie and some air freshener for my son's car.
We spent an hour and a half running, literally running, around Walmart. We all had such a GREAT time. . . it was the best day ever. Once we got home they immediately had to wrap their gifts, put them all in a huge gift bag and then decorate the bag. The bag now has no less than fifty labels and stickers decorating it but it is their creation so it looks amazing.
As I was driving home yesterday I couldn't stop smiling at what a fun time we had together. I would love to be a fly on the wall on Christmas morning to see my son opening these gifts. I DO have my doubts that the kids will actually be able to make it to Christmas without telling their dad what they bought him. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they had him opening the gifts after school some day this week. But it doesn't matter . . . This is the best week of the year for excitement, love, celebrating and giving.
Have a fantastic week . . . enjoy each day because we will have to wait a whole year until we feel this wonderful again.
Saturday, December 14, 2019
RIDING "SHOT GUN" WITH A SNOW BIRD
When my kids were growing up there was always the constant argument over who got to "ride shot gun" , , , meaning who would be the lucky kid to get to sit in the FRONT of the car in the passenger seat rather than being squashed in the back seat with their sibling who never managed to stay on their side of the car. The fact that I drove a 9 passenger van with 3 rows of seats did not matter, someone always wanted the front seat. Considering that this is the most frightening seat in the car I can't imagine why anyone wants to sit there. The driver you supposedly is in control of the car. He or she regulates the speed and the direction of the vehicle and with the help of God it is the drivers responsibility to keep all the passengers safe. When you are a passenger in the back seat your view of the road and surrounding traffic isn't as terrifying or clear as that of the people in the front seat. The driver is the one in control but the front seat passenger is the one riding in the DEATH seat. The person riding shot gun is the one who is most likely to get killed should there be an accident and we don't have a single thing to say about it !
Most of my married life I was the passenger most likely to die . . . Husband had an issue with relinquishing the roll of driver. In the early years of our marriage that was fine with me. I liked having a chauffeur. Once we had kids I had no choice because I was the one reaching over the seat handing out drinks and snacks and organizing the guessing games that helped wile away the hours of driving when we were on vacation. That and the fact that Husband couldn't read a map to save his life. This being pre "map Quest" and GPS travel we were dependent on a huge paper map to get us from point A to point B. And so I sat up front and "handled" everything except physically driving the car. By the end of the day I would have a raging headache because even though I wasn't sitting behind the steering wheel I was watching the road for road signs, gas stations, obstacles in the road and other drivers because Husband had trouble focusing so I was always on high alert. Thankfully we weren't ever in an accident and no one ever got killed. All that being said I must say that any time we drove into Manhattan there is no one I would rather have had driving than Husband. The man knew how to handle city traffic! He could out maneuver any city bus or taxi and was a master of weaving in and out of grid lock without running over anyone.
Fast forward to the twenty first century and my meeting the Man from Michigan. This man is an excellent driver. Maybe because he was driving tractors and cars since he was about 8 and then spent years flying a helicopter there is no problem with his focus, sense of direction or knowledge of the mechanics of a car.
UNTIL he comes to Florida. As soon as we cross the Florida state line the man turns into . . .
SNOW BIRD. !!!!
I know I have written about this breed of creature that invades our state each winter but the longer I am with The Man the more he is picking up the characteristics of his fellow seasonal visitors.
Perhaps it's because these visitors are coming from the frozen North they are so distracted by the warm sunshine and the green foliage that they can not see fit to drive faster than ten miles an hour.
Or maybe their brains just haven't thawed out yet. What ever the reason it is driving me NUTS and it isn't even January.
It's the same for anyone driving in their home town. You know the roads, you know which lane will end at the next light. You know the intersections that require a higher degree of focus and you know the quickest route to all your favorite spots. You also know just how much over the speed limit you can push it before you are in danger of getting a ticket. It's your town and when you are out and about on a mission you DO NOT want some grey haired senior citizen from Quebec drifting back and forth across 3 lanes of traffic at a speed that would make a turtle look like a rocket.
But even worse than having to drive behind one of these visitors finding myself in the passenger seat of a Snow Bird is quickly becoming my worst nightmare. The Man insists on driving when we go out together. The fact that I know the roads, know where we are going and just how long it will take us to get there makes no difference. Instead I sit there next to The Man clutching my seat to keep me from screaming and grabbing the wheel. We leave our community driving at a whopping seven miles an hour. The speed limit in here is 25 . . . we don't even come close to going that fast. The squirrels running on the grass are going faster than us. When we get out on the main roads we travel at 30 miles an hour . . . in the 45 MPH zone. Heaven forbid we even get close to the speed limit. So we crawl along while all my fellow Floridians whip around us muttering about the "Snow Bird" with the Michigan plates. I want to wave a sign at them saying, "I KNOW how you feel. I"m being held captive!" As we creep along I now have to give a running commentary about which lane we need to be in and just how far ahead it is before we will be turning. What is it about, "You need to be in the LEFT lane", that you don't understand ??? I will suggest getting over to the left while we are still a half mile away from the turn and even though at that particular moment there is NO one in the left lane the man does not move. It isn't until we are 50 feet from the corner that he decides he needs to get over. Naturally when he makes the decision to change lanes there is now a line of twenty cars on our left so we come to an almost complete stop in our lane until he can squeeze over. All this is done with much muttering about these damn Florida drivers who don't give you an inch. If only he could hear what they are saying about us ! I know EXACTLY what they are saying because I have said it a thousand times!
FREAKING SNOW BIRDS !!!!!!!!
As P.S. here I would just like to tell all the snow birds that no matter how much they don't like how we drive down here it IS our town and you are invading OUR space. We are NOT going to change how we drive for 12 months a year just because you are here. We do drive fast on Rt. 95 and the turnpike because if we are on those roads it's because we have someplace to be so get the HELL out of the fast lanes if you insist on doing the speed limit. If I choose to speed that is my choice and I will deal with the speeding ticket should I get one. You are causing a much more dangerous situation by puttering alone at 65 miles an hour in the far left lane. You may think you are making a statement by being mr. "Safe" driver but in fact you are an accident waiting to happen.
Most of my married life I was the passenger most likely to die . . . Husband had an issue with relinquishing the roll of driver. In the early years of our marriage that was fine with me. I liked having a chauffeur. Once we had kids I had no choice because I was the one reaching over the seat handing out drinks and snacks and organizing the guessing games that helped wile away the hours of driving when we were on vacation. That and the fact that Husband couldn't read a map to save his life. This being pre "map Quest" and GPS travel we were dependent on a huge paper map to get us from point A to point B. And so I sat up front and "handled" everything except physically driving the car. By the end of the day I would have a raging headache because even though I wasn't sitting behind the steering wheel I was watching the road for road signs, gas stations, obstacles in the road and other drivers because Husband had trouble focusing so I was always on high alert. Thankfully we weren't ever in an accident and no one ever got killed. All that being said I must say that any time we drove into Manhattan there is no one I would rather have had driving than Husband. The man knew how to handle city traffic! He could out maneuver any city bus or taxi and was a master of weaving in and out of grid lock without running over anyone.
Fast forward to the twenty first century and my meeting the Man from Michigan. This man is an excellent driver. Maybe because he was driving tractors and cars since he was about 8 and then spent years flying a helicopter there is no problem with his focus, sense of direction or knowledge of the mechanics of a car.
UNTIL he comes to Florida. As soon as we cross the Florida state line the man turns into . . .
SNOW BIRD. !!!!
I know I have written about this breed of creature that invades our state each winter but the longer I am with The Man the more he is picking up the characteristics of his fellow seasonal visitors.
Perhaps it's because these visitors are coming from the frozen North they are so distracted by the warm sunshine and the green foliage that they can not see fit to drive faster than ten miles an hour.
Or maybe their brains just haven't thawed out yet. What ever the reason it is driving me NUTS and it isn't even January.
It's the same for anyone driving in their home town. You know the roads, you know which lane will end at the next light. You know the intersections that require a higher degree of focus and you know the quickest route to all your favorite spots. You also know just how much over the speed limit you can push it before you are in danger of getting a ticket. It's your town and when you are out and about on a mission you DO NOT want some grey haired senior citizen from Quebec drifting back and forth across 3 lanes of traffic at a speed that would make a turtle look like a rocket.
But even worse than having to drive behind one of these visitors finding myself in the passenger seat of a Snow Bird is quickly becoming my worst nightmare. The Man insists on driving when we go out together. The fact that I know the roads, know where we are going and just how long it will take us to get there makes no difference. Instead I sit there next to The Man clutching my seat to keep me from screaming and grabbing the wheel. We leave our community driving at a whopping seven miles an hour. The speed limit in here is 25 . . . we don't even come close to going that fast. The squirrels running on the grass are going faster than us. When we get out on the main roads we travel at 30 miles an hour . . . in the 45 MPH zone. Heaven forbid we even get close to the speed limit. So we crawl along while all my fellow Floridians whip around us muttering about the "Snow Bird" with the Michigan plates. I want to wave a sign at them saying, "I KNOW how you feel. I"m being held captive!" As we creep along I now have to give a running commentary about which lane we need to be in and just how far ahead it is before we will be turning. What is it about, "You need to be in the LEFT lane", that you don't understand ??? I will suggest getting over to the left while we are still a half mile away from the turn and even though at that particular moment there is NO one in the left lane the man does not move. It isn't until we are 50 feet from the corner that he decides he needs to get over. Naturally when he makes the decision to change lanes there is now a line of twenty cars on our left so we come to an almost complete stop in our lane until he can squeeze over. All this is done with much muttering about these damn Florida drivers who don't give you an inch. If only he could hear what they are saying about us ! I know EXACTLY what they are saying because I have said it a thousand times!
FREAKING SNOW BIRDS !!!!!!!!
As P.S. here I would just like to tell all the snow birds that no matter how much they don't like how we drive down here it IS our town and you are invading OUR space. We are NOT going to change how we drive for 12 months a year just because you are here. We do drive fast on Rt. 95 and the turnpike because if we are on those roads it's because we have someplace to be so get the HELL out of the fast lanes if you insist on doing the speed limit. If I choose to speed that is my choice and I will deal with the speeding ticket should I get one. You are causing a much more dangerous situation by puttering alone at 65 miles an hour in the far left lane. You may think you are making a statement by being mr. "Safe" driver but in fact you are an accident waiting to happen.
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