SNARKY

Is that even a word?   SNARKY?   I happen to like the sound of it and it perfectly fits the manner in which I use it . . . . SNIDE,   SMART ASS,   OBNOXIOUS,   SHIT FOR BRAINS.
                                                            S-N-A-R-K-Y !

That, my friends, refers to Husband.  It seems he is feeling better and returning to his old snarky self. I may have to kill him yet!

There really was a lovely hiatus during the cancer treatments when H actually became human.  He was polite, not always in a rush, calm and understanding. Probably because he was drugged most of the time but what ever the reason I LIKED IT !   We would talk like humans and he would even listen.
But with the retreat of the cancer all those nice traits have left the building also. And Husband has returned to being snarky!

Please tell me what difference to the entire world does it make what time I get up in the morning?  Is the world waiting for my input on life threatening issues? Will it matter if I get up at 5AM or 11AM?  I don't think anyone should give a flying F as to what time I choose to join the living. But Snarky does care.  He gets up at his time, goes out to the den and on goes the TV and Fox News. Now whether or not I am among the living that routine is going to happen. If we have a day filled with adventure or a day with absolutely NOTHING to do, the man will be up and in front of the TV. Do I need to be up to serve the lord and master his breakfast?  NO No and no ! There is more food in this house than all of North Korea.  So if I am tired, (and I AM tired!) why the hell can't I sleep without having to endure the next 12 hours filled with SNARK? !  "OH, look who finally decided to get up!",  OH, nice to see you finally get up!, "I thought you were getting up early today!".  And on and on it goes.  I have been counting the Snark today and we are up to a whooping total of 9 smart ass comments from the peanut gallery.  The last comment had me on the verge of a "W T F is wrong with you, you jack ass?" But I have kept my cool and not hit him with any verbal or physical bombs. That is not to say I won't explode before bed time. And H wonders why I let him go to bed ALONE at 9 just to have some peace and quiet to myself.
H was an amusing guy all those years ago when I was dating him.  His wit and sarcasm, (directed at others) was one of the things I liked about him.  He had a quick wit and a sharp tongue but when you have been the recipient of both it gets pretty old pretty quick.  And let me tell you the wit ain't as sharp as it used to be. Even before Chemo Brain the old "quick wit" was dulling rapidly.  Now-a-days it is just plain dull dull dull!

And so Mr. Snark shall remain unspoken to for most of the day until he gets his act together. I think it is getting time for one of our llllloonnnnnngggggggg chats where he stops chatting and just does some listening.  Feel free to send him an email to warn him what's on the horizon for him.  He never reads his emails any way.

P.S.

I'm sitting up tonight waiting to get tired after resting all day and I got thinking about the dream I had while under anesthesia today. I've had several colonoscopys in the past and NEVER have I had any dreams. Over the past couple of decades I have had many surgeries where I have been under anesthesia and never have I dreamed. Was it a new type of anesthesia? A different way of administering the drug? Why did I dream?

 And it was a GOOD dream. I remember lots of people being in a circle, LOTS of color and everyone was dancing to the most amazing music. I remember waking up and thinking I wanted to remember the music more than anything else.

The dream is fading as the day goes on but when I woke up and the recovery room nurse was there  I remember saying to her that I had a dream and how unusual that was . She said people often tell her they were dreaming but can't remember any of it. So  I guess it does happen but how come never before? I dream ALL the time when I sleep so I will tell myself it was nothing odd. But I do wonder . . ..

Oh, and by the way, if "natural gas" were fueling the city of West Palm Beach I could make a fortune  tonight!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'm back from my "procedures" and am still under the influence of anesthesia so who knows what you will get in today's post.  I am feeling REALLY GOOD right now so why waste a good buzz.
All went Super and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience if that is at all possible. The no eating and prep yesterday was so easy I really didn't mind at all.  (Can you believe I only lost a pound and a half?) Cooking dinner for Husband last night was a little tough, smelling food that I would have loved to have eaten, but not impossible.  Drinking 64 ounces of Gatorade got to be a chore just because it was too sweet by about ounce 56 so I switched to water and that worked super. I did miss my show at 8:00 since that was when all the "prep" kicked in but that's O.K. cause I can always watch it on the computer. Last night was fine and today was almost fun. (Are you reading this Bob? Stop worrying about your adventure next week. It will be fine!)

The people at the "Out patient" center are so nice and pleasant I enjoyed chatting with everyone. The bed was comfy, I got to nap and even had some fun dreams while under anesthesia. Husband left me there and waited at home which was better for him and much more relaxing for me. All in all it was 3 hours of rest and relaxation.  AND best of all I have husband waiting on me for the day! I feel like a spaced out princess.
As I was leaving the surgery center today the nurse invited me back any time. I guess I was more entertaining than I realized!

And best of all, when Ger brought me home there was the most beautiful basket of flowers sent from Bridget and Kyle, Roman and Abby.  They are for my birthday on Sunday but the timing today was perfect!   THANKS GUYS !   Love you!

MONDAY OFF

Now if I was a working woman taking Monday off would really be a big deal.  As it is I am just hoping for not having to prepare breakfast or lunch for Husband.  That would be amazing and I am willing to go for a colonoscopy and endoscopy just to get out of that chore.
For those of you who have had the opportunity to experience a colonoscopy, and or endoscopy, you know this event is not one of the top ten happy days of your life. It really isn't that big a deal to have a hose with a camera on it threaded through your intestines or down your throat but the preparations that begin days before are more than anyone cares to endure. The fact that I will get some uninterrupted sleep during the procedures is a perk. Hopefully Husband will feed himself before we leave and after we return so I won't have to look at food until I am ready to return to my regular diet. For the past 2 days I have had to avoid fried food and red meat. That is much more of a chore for me than the avoiding fresh fruits and vegetables. (Probably if I ate more fresh fruit and vegetables I wouldn't need a colonoscopy!) I have managed to exist on chicken and pasta Friday and Saturday but today is the day when I can not eat ANYTHING!  NO FOOD for me is like telling a monkey to stop scratching or telling Husband to empty the dish washer. It just ain't happening!  But I have done well so far and in another hour I get to start drinking !  I've been surviving on Gatorade, NOT THE RED!, for the day. That stuff can be nasty but I has kept me from feeling hungry. Not that I wouldn't be all over a steak if one went by. At 6:00 I get to drink 64 ounces of yellow gator aide mixed with an entire bottle of Miralax. You can only imagine how I am looking forward to that !  But even better is the result of drinking 64 ounces of gator aide mixed with Miralax . . .  let the runs begin! There will be a marathon run back and forth to the potty for the remainder of the evening. I have no hope of watching "Game of Thrones" without interruption as I will be on my own throne for most of the time.
And yet all this is all worth it if only H will allow me some space tomorrow for the test and recovery. Today I have cooked him breakfast and am about to cook dinner for him. Do you know how hard it is to make bacon and eggs and not want to eat some yourself?  And dinner will be even worse . . .  cooking up a hamburger and tater tots without popping some in my mouth will be quite the challenge.
All things considered I am actually looking forward to a couple of hours off tomorrow.

That's pretty sad !

FAMILY TRAITS

It is amazing how certain traits and behavior are found amoung different members of a family. I am often quite happy that I don't have siblings for exactly that reason.
My mother was a wonderful person but brutally honest. She lacked filters and couldn't understand why people would find her offensive. If she thought it, she said it!  If it hurt your feelings, well, that is your problem because she was only stating the obvious or telling the truth. It was a trait that I work very hard at suppressing.
Not so much some others in my extremely small family. I love my cousins. They are the closest thing I have to siblings but there are times when I have to remind myself they are related to my mother.
I called one of my female cousins today, (there are only 4 of us "girls" and 2 "boys".) since I haven't spoken to her in ages. She lost her husband a year or so ago and has been struggling with that and some medical problems. As always she was very happy to hear from me and as always SHE had a lot to talk about. At one point she did ask how Ger was doing and I told her that he was doing great. I also mentioned that he was still having some trouble gaining weight. To which she immediately responded, "Oh, that's not good! I hope there isn't more cancer in him. That wouldn't be good!"
I fought my desire to tell her thanks so much for that brilliant observation and just changed the subject.
I know my mother is rolling around laughing hysterically on her cloud in heaven. Thank goodness she was such a good person and taught me a lot about tolerance. THANKS MOM!

MY GENTLE LITTLE MAN

Come on Grandma!

There he is . . . Little man Smith. Only two and a half years old but way much older in personality and intelligence.  And in awareness and compassion.
Probably the last thing you would think is that he is gentle. As he drives his motorized motorcycle across the living room and den, careening off walls while chasing the cat the word GENTLE does not come to mind. Neither would you think "gentle" as he scales the bar stool by the kitchen counter to climb up and over to get to the kitchen cabinets to see what treasures he might find. Neither is he gentle when playing MONSTER TRUCKS with grandma and daddy and trucks are flying every which way. But take him for a walk around the block and come across a worm stranded on the sidewalk in the hot Florida sun and this little guy is all over it with gentleness.
There we were, walking along hand in hand when this little voice says, "Grandma, a worm!" And so we stop to check it out. No matter whether the worm is full dead after 3 days baking in the sun so that it is near to petrified, or whether it still has a breath of life in it Smith has to stop and gently pick it up to examine it. The worm then gets a royal funeral or a return to the grass to live another day, depending on what Smith deems necessary. Grand pa's instinct is to step on worms and here is this little 2 year old being so gentle with one of God's creatures.
I remember the year from Hell when I returned to work after my kids were in college. I took a job in a day care center on Long Island and HATED every minute of it. The kids were great, 3 and 4 year olds who were spending most of their lives in the care of strangers. There was one little guy named Connor who was built like Smith. All muscle and brawn but none of the tenderness that my little man has. One day the class and I were taking a nature walk around the building and Connor found a worm. Just as he was ready to jump on it to mash it into the sidewalk I grabbed his arm and stopped him. Right there we had a lesson on all God's creatures, great and small. I remember the look on Connor's face as we talked about how the worm was ALIVE, just like us. And how we cannot hurt things (or people) who were smaller than us. (Connor did have the potential to be a bully) Connor listened and then picked up the worm and put it in the grass.
I figure Connor must be in college by now and I often wonder what sort of young man he has become. Did the "worm talk" stay with him? Who knows. All I know is my little man Smith doesn't need anyone to have a talk with him. His parents are doing a good job and this little guy has some mighty grown up, wonderful traits about him.
I'm proud of my son and his wife for doing such a good job teaching Smith about life as well as ABC's. And I am proud of Smith for taking all this to heart and being such a wonderful little guy.

LA LA LOOPSIE

That is actually the name of a doll . . .  La la LOOPSIE !  I know because I bought one for Kaelin for her birthday. Never heard of it before she told her mom that was what she wanted. And so I did a little Internet research and sure enough there is a doll by this name. Kaelin seemed to like her doll but I have trouble getting past the name. I mean, what happened to CHATTY KATHY and BETSIE WETSIE?  Even Barbie has more of a ring to it than LA LA LOOPSIE!!

In fact, I think I should have coined this name for myself a long time ago. Most days La La LOOPSIE is pretty descriptive of me. My brain gets to going la la LOOPSIE and I am one step this side of a brain dead hippo. Yesterday was one of those days that I was just not functioning and could not get it together for anything. Ger had a doctor appointment and was being totally chemo brain dead. The nurses and doctor all ask him questions which he answers with "I don't know" and then everyone turns to me for the answers, including Ger. Yesterday day I didn't have anything to give them. My brain was totally gone!
Usually I have THE BOOK with all Ger's information in it. His medications and doses. His list of appointments, his weight chart, his blood pressure record. You name it I have it.  Not yesterday! Yesterday I had LA LA LOOPSIE BRAIN which beats chemo brain any day. Chemo brain just makes you dull and stupid. La La brain makes you dull, stupid AND emotional. So not only do I not have answers I also start to cry because I don't have the answers. REALLY!  I mean, how stupid can I get.  Husband just stares at me like I have totally lost my mind and then gives me attitude because I don't have all HIS information which just makes me cry more. And to top it off I read an email from BFF Jeanne that makes me even more weepy.  By the time the doctor came in she took one look at me and gave me a hug! Being a woman she probably knew the symptoms and knew enough to just hug me and move on, knowing I would return to normal eventually.

Today is much better but I still think it is cool they named a doll after me.

Way to go Cath.  And to think they named that silly doll after me.

DID I MENTION . . .

THE CASTLE IN THE LIVING ROOM ?

FLORIDA TORNADOS

The three tornado's blew through this normally quiet neighborhood last week beginning on Good Friday and ending early yesterday morning. The path of destruction was accompanied by high pitched screeching, squealing and occasional moaning. This is a picture of the destruction that was left behind. Most of the turmoil was contained in one room of our home but the remainder of the house and yard were not left unscathed.

SPRING BREAK 2013!
Kaelin, Finley and Smith combined last Saturday to create the "PERFECT STORM" and it will take Grand ma and Grand Pa days to shovel out of the carnage. But I wouldn't change it for the world!

What an awesome week we had with the Maryland Grand Kids visiting with their parents and Kent, Kristen and Smith popping in for the Easter weekend. The kids are FANTASTIC and played and played and played. A great time was had by all. Grandpa is exhausted! Grandma is pooped but glowing. I just love being with these little people.

Here's some photos of the past week to show you the highlights.

Celebrating Finn's second birthday. Presents for Everybody!

Elmo Pinata

AND CAKE !!!

Finn's party was on Saturday before Easter. Smith and his family came to help celebrate.  Then we Celebrated Easter Sunday with an Easter Egg Hunt and church.

 

A TRIP TO THE ZOO

PLAYING IN THE ZOO FOUNTAINS

BATH TIME !

AND A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN KAELIN HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION