PIZZA OR PROZAC

 This morning I was a half a gulp away from downing a whole bottle of Prozac, if I had had any. (Luckily I did not.). I was walking the thin line of sanity when The Man said three magic words that saved the day and his and my life.  What he said was, "PIZZA FOR DINNER?"  

Back up to August of this year . . .  I was in Michigan enjoying the most wonderful, relaxing summer of my life.  No worries, no cares, no Cousin Lu.  Just The Man and myself doing what ever we wanted with the occasional doctor appointment thrown in just to keep us on our toes.  In the midst of this idyllic halcyon summer I get a phone call from my cousin in Florida.  I've written about her before, she is 91, (God Love Her), and the bane of my existence.  I have the dubious distinction of being her only relative living in the state of Florida so she relies on me when ever there is a problem.  We have managed to co exist for many years without me killing her but she does "push the envelope" every chance she gets.  Thankfully or not we live an hour apart.  This is good because it keeps her from expecting me to be at her beck and call on a daily basis and it is bad because when she does need me I have to travel an hour up and back to see her.  (Luckily I love to drive.)

So when I got the phone call up in Michigan from Cousin Lu in Florida I knew there was a problem.  She was beside herself because she had a leak in her house and the place was a mess.  To quote her, "I NEED YOU HERE !  WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME???? "   I explained that I was NOT coming home any time soon so she would have to manage this crisis on her own.  (For those of you who are thinking I am cold and callused let me explain that I can not just up and leave The Man on his own. With his COPD he needs someone around all the time in case he has breathing issues. That and the fact that I have been telling Cousin Lu for 2 years she needs to sell her house and move into someplace where she will be safer than living in a big house on her own.) But Cousin Lu "wasn't ready yet" so she stayed in her home bringing in a constant stream of "aides" who quickly learn just what a demanding person she is and then move on.  Cousin Lu has 2 step children and 2 grown step grand children who never "step" up to do anything for her.  She thinks they are wonderful because they call her every once in a while and send her flowers on her birthday.  The thought to call one of them in a crisis never enters Lu's mind.  

Between neighbors and cousin Lu's most current aide the leak was fixed, a new plumbing system was installed and the water damage was taken care of.  What was not done was repair work on her walls and floors where pipes were accessed and carpets were torn up.   Fast forward to my return to Florida in October and a trip to see Cousin Lu shortly after my return.  Her home is torn apart and is a mess.  She is confused and exhausted and in need of someone to step in and take charge.   Hello ME !!  Trying to get straight the chain of events and repair people was like pulling teeth from a chicken.  It just wasn't happening.  She had a nephew from NJ who came to visit and God Bless him and his wife they were able to make some sense of the mess of events and who did what. The end product of all this chaos is that Cousin Lu now says she is ready to sell her house and move into an adult community where there will be someone around 24/7 to help her.  

I visited my cousin last Sunday and we had a long discussion about this idea of moving her someplace SAFE.  Forget the house, just get her settled and safe and then we can work on the rest.  She was in agreement with all this and even wants to move someplace close to me.  (Again a double edged sword, close is easier for me travel wise but it will also make her want me to be with her more and more.) with her in agreement I have spent the bulk of this week researching independent living facilities, making appointments and visiting the places.  It is exhausting but kind of fun looking at these places. It will make it easier for my kids when they want to put me away somewhere.  Probably sooner than later. 

This morning, while I was juggling Lucille phone calls and appointments at the various adult homes The Man asked what I was thinking for dinner tonight.      WRONG THING TO SAY . . .  which he apparently realized as soon as the words left his mouth.  So the next thing he said was those 3 wonderful words,    "Pizza for Dinner ?"   I went from Mr. Vesuvius erupting to calm, cool and collected.   What a guy !!!

This afternoon I visited a wonderful place that I think Cousin Lu would love.  It is p scale and lovely situated right on the intercostal waterway and within her price range.  All the ladies that I met were dressed up and looking like my cousin, hair and nails done, looking good.    I loved it and I really do think she will also.  All we have to do is get her there to look at it.  When I called her tonight she told me she can't go see it this weekend, she is too busy. She has to get her hair done.   So if and when I do get her down here to see the place I only hope they will still have a room available because I am NOT doing this for another 12 weeks until The Princess decides she can make it.

RAPID RESPONDERS

It's always good to know that when you have a problem or are in trouble there is someone close by who will quickly be there when you call.  I can personally attest to the rapid response of our local EMT's after my visit to the ER last Thanksgiving when I had double pneumonia.  The EMT team was at my door in less than 10 minutes after The Man called 911.  These young men and women were great !   I also know that when my cousin fell in her driveway this past weekend and her little dog barked its head off until a neighbor thought to come out and see what the dog was barking at, the rapid response of her local fire station was excellent.  I am very happy to know that I live somewhere that provides me with such good emergency services. 

But it seems that I and my fellow south Floridians are not the only ones who require Rapid Responders. In fact there was an article in todays Palm Beach Post that addressed this other group of residents of our lovely sunshine state. . . The Python snakes.  

If you have been keeping up on South Florida news over the past couple of years you probably have seen many stories about the invasive species of Python snakes that are taking over the Everglades.  Some where in the not so distant past some well meaning idiot bought themselves a snake for a pet and when it got too large to keep in an aquarium or their bathtub, (because you know there is someone out there with a snake living in their bathtub),  the well meaning idiot thought, "I'll just take Waldo, (or what ever the snakes name was), out into the Everglades and let it go.  With a fond farewell and a hearty "live long and prosper" the snake slithered off into the wet, marshy swamp.  

Now had the idiot who bought the snake given any thought to the fact that pythons can live an average of 30 years and grow to a length of 30 feet and are NOT native to Florida, perhaps the idiot would have found a better way to rid himself of the very foolish choice of pets. But then again, being an idiot, (because who else would want to spend money on a snake for a pet), he or she never gave a second thought to what they were doing.   

Bottom line is that Florida Everglades is becoming over run with python snakes.  Because they are not native to the area they have no natural enemies who can keep their population under control. Instead they slither through the swamp eating everything and anything they find which is pretty much any other living creature.  Even the alligators are in jeopardy. Poor little alligators!   The state has set up python hunting seasons and python round ups where monetary rewards are given to the person who brings in the largest snake dead or alive, (preferably dead). But what happens when it is "off season" for pythons and one is spotted sunning itself on a small patch of dry(ish) ground?  What do you do?  Who do you call?  (No, Not Ghostbusters!) . . . why you call the RAPID RESPONDER UNIT !

Yes, Florida has a rapid responder unit just for the purpose of catching unsuspecting pythons.  THAT is what the article in todays paper was all about.  It seems that a renegade python has found its way north of the Everglades and is taking up residence in a nature preserve in North Palm Beach County. The snake was spotted over the weekend so a call went out immediately to the rapid response unit whose job it is to find the elusive creature, capture it and do God knows what with it. (Maybe our government can put it on a bus and ship it to Kansas or where ever with all the other illegal immigrants.) Only problem is that the rapid response unit can only get into the swamp by helicopter or airboat and by the time they were able to deploy either of those means of transportation the sneaky little snake had slithered away.  To quote the paper, "It was several hours until the team was able to get to where the snake was spotted".  

I think the team needs to find a different name because RAPID response unit just doesn't seem to apply here.  

 I wonder if the python was having a heart attack would the rapid responders get to it any faster?