ADD SOME WEIGHT

Although it has been a huge challenge not to gain weight during this virus quarantine I have found a trick to feeling more at peace and less stressed over the possibility that we can all die . . . and the answer is NOT to eat more. It actually has nothing to do with food. Rather it has to do with sleep and the blanket you use on your bed.

A couple of weeks ago before the world became a Petri dish for Coronavirus I was at my daughters home with the grand kids. For what ever reason my grand daughter KK brought out her new blanket to show me. As she handed it to me I was not expecting it to weight a TON !  I almost fell over!  The blanket is super soft and comfy but it has weights in it so that when you put it over yourself in bed it makes you feel secure and calm.

My grand daughter is a mini me of her mom who is a mini me of myself. Anxiety runs rampant in the females of our family . . . something that I didn't know about when I was a stressed out kid/adult. I knew I had trouble dealing with new situations and people but had no idea why or what to do about it. I spent most of my childhood fighting it and compensating by being aggressive and angry.  Fast forward to my daughter's childhood and her anxiety issues that ran from when she was about four years old to the present day. When Keri entered third grade I had reached my limit and FINALLY got my husband to agree to getting some outside counseling for both Keri and myself. That was the BEST move ever !!!  My daughter is amazing thanks to her experiences with her anxieties and learning how to live with them. So it wasn't any surprise to Keri or myself that KK should start exhibiting the exact same issues as her mom and grand ma. Being so much smarter than me my daughter was able to get KK help and has been so proactive in helping her daughter.

Now here comes the interesting part about the blanket. . .  Apparently years ago someone discovered that Autistic children and adults benefitted from being "wrapped" tightly in a "cocoon". This feeling of weight and confinement soothed them. I had seen a movie about this some where along the last couple of years where the individual with Autism actually built themselves a box sort of contraption that they could crawl into when feeling over stressed. From this discovery someone has come up with a weighted blanket that the child can cover themselves with and it calms their anxiety. KK says it does exactly that for her and she uses it every night she she is anxious about going to school the next day.

Fast forward to last night . . . Yesterday I washed the heavy comforter on my bed and I just couldn't get my washer to spin it dry enough to put it into the dryer. I feared that it would burn out the dryer motor since it was so heavy so I took it outside and spread it across two lawn chairs where it sat over night to dry. Not having the comforter on the bed I had to find something to keep us snug last night and I dug out an old thermal blanket that was in the closet. It's very light weight but warm and I figured it would work fine. I woke up at 1 AM feeling restless and agitated. Something was wrong and I just was not comfortable. I flopped around a while and then realized I was missing the weight of my comforter. The blanket was warm but just not HEAVY enough to calm me. I got up and got a heavy throw blanket and put that over myself which was better but I still had a lousy night's sleep. I NEEDED the heavy weight on me to calm myself enough to go into a deep sleep !  I surprised myself at this realization and now understand the weighted blanket that KK has.  There is really something to this.

Next time you're feeling stressed you really have to give this a try.

WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE'S NOTHING TO DO . . . WRITE A BLOG ABOUT NOTHING !!

All I need in life is a comfy chair, my glasses and a Stephen King novel.  It's simple ! Life is good and I'm happy.  I bought myself the newest Stephen King novel back before Christmas as a gift to myself.  This author is so awesome that he manages to publish a novel almost every year timed to come out for the Christmas season. This keeps me happy happy happy. Ever since Husband died I have not been reading that much. Ger and I would lie in bed at night and read for hours before sleep. Once he was gone it just wasn't the same to sit down with a book in the middle of the day and so I just stopped reading. Internet and TV filled the space of books and I didn't have to focus as much as when I read. But now, 5 years later I'm finding I miss taking the time out to sit and get immersed in a good book. So who else would I turn to but my all time favorite author . . . Mr. King.  I would love to know how this man comes up with the stories he writes. I thought my brain was whacked but it is nothing compared to THE King. His latest book is called "The Institute" and I'm already half way through the nearly 600 pages after starting it on Monday.  (I do have a life that requires cleaning, laundry and cooking with time out for Mr. Man who lives here. The fact that D has discovered streaming on TV, which he does not have in Michigan, causes us to spend at least five hours a day/evening watching 'episodes'.) Trying to squeeze out some "alone" time when I can sit and read has been a challenge but thanks to a jig saw puzzle that was given to me a year ago I now have quite a bit of time to read. I dug out the puzzle this past November before D came down here so it was out on the dining room table where he could work on it with me every so often. He was quite happy to let me put together most of the edges and work on getting key parts in the center started. He would wander over every once in a while when he couldn't find hockey or basket ball or football to watch and put in a piece or two. We had to put the puzzle away for the holidays and our series of house guests but now that we are self contained in our humble abode the puzzle is the center of D's day. We had it outside for a while so we could sit on the lanai and enjoy the wonderful Florida days as we sorted through pieces. Today is a bit too warm for this Michigan guy so the puzzle is back inside where the man can work on it in the comfort of AC. (I have had to set the AC at 80 because anything less than that and he is freezing. Normally for me it would be set at 75 but I will leave it at 80 with all the ceiling fans on just to keep him quiet and occupied.)  This puzzle has become such a challenge that the first thing D says when he gets up in the morning is,"I'm going to work on the puzzle today, maybe even finish it." That is not going to happen any time soon because this puzzle is a tough one. It has been an hour now since we finished lunch and I have not heard a word from the man. This is good !!

Aside from puzzles and food our lives are pretty quiet these days of confinement. I'm walking every morning for a half hour or more and liking the quiet time alone. I REALLY miss not going to mass at my church on Sunday . . . Mass on TV is so impersonal but at least we do have that. I wold love it if our community pool would be open but I get the reasoning behind it's closing.  The HIGH point of every day is around 5:00 when we get to walk out to the mail box to see if we got anything other than solicitations for money. (Usually the answer is NO but we keep hoping.) Because my mail is so disappointing I have gone on line to Amazon and sent things to all the grand kids so they will get surprises in the mail to brighten their days. Got to LOVE Amazon !!  Big or little, they will deliver goodies to everyone within days so the kids know grand ma is thinking of them. And I AM helping our economy.  We have to take that into consideration and all do our parts in spending money. If you have trouble doing that never fear because I have spent enough to cover you. Amazon makes it WAY too easy to spend money.

AMERICA SHINES BRIGHT

NO this is not a patriotic blog, although I am very proud of all the people in our country who, as always, rise to the occasion when ever there is a crisis. Whether it is during a national event such as 9/11 or local disasters like hurricanes and floods American's forget their own issues and band together to help their neighbors in need.

During this pandemic we have risen once again to the occasion and most of us are listening and staying self quarantined in order to avoid the spread of this virus. We are not just thinking of what "I" want to do but are thinking about what is best for our nation. It's HARD !  No doubt about that. We are a nation on the go, in our cars every day racing here and there on "important" missions to Starbucks and Dunken Donuts. Costco couldn't survive without the 40 million members shopping seven days a week for things they really don't need but it is a place to go and something to do.

All that changed two weeks ago when some nasty little bugs invaded our country and forced us to remain home in hopes of stoping the virus from wiping out our population.  But with that comes the problem of what to DO every day that I am house bound. There is only so much TV to be watched and once the jigsaw puzzle is done and the books are read WHAT DO WE DO ???

Ladies . . . you know the answer to this don't you . . .  (Guys, you can stop reading right now)
                                                   WE   CLEAN !!!

There is not a woman I know who has not, by now, started cleaning at least one closet, room, cabinet,  or drawer in her house. It's what most of us do when we are bored. (I pity the women who always have a clean and neat house because this becomes more of a challenge to them.) No matter how clean your house is normally there is always that one space that you have been looking at for a while that you really want to get into and clean it out. God Bless the ladies who have attics and basements because they have a gold mine in cleaning possibilities. Maybe they could rent these spaces out to the "clean freak" ladies so they will have something to work on. I personally have never had a problem finding something to clean out. I can walk into a perfectly "clean" room and three hours later I have it torn apart finding things I didn't even know I had. Being held captive in my space I am like a pig in mud wallowing in closets and cabinets that I have been itching to clean out but just didn't have the time. Then there are those journals that I keep for my grand children that haven't been up dated in a year and don't even get me started on photos. Even though most of my photos are on my computer I still need to weed them out and that takes hours.  As for cleaning cleaning, like with a mop and bucket I could was my floors daily and they would still have spots on them.  My kitchen floor needs a washing about three times a day but you know that's not going to happen. I must say I am prepared though because I actually do own a mop, pail, vacuum and dust cloth. (Thank you "Swiffer" company for supplying me will all I need. Love that Swiffer Wet Jet!) Meanwhile I have had a box of swiffer pads for my wet jet since I moved in here 3 years ago. Does that tell you how much I wash floors?

But now we are all forced to stay home.  We are going to come out of this much stronger and cleaner than when it all started. People are out walking their neighborhoods in search of fresh air and something to do.  Believe it or not I took a walk yesterday AND today and ENJOYED it !!!!  Who Knew ????  I met several people and we all held our breath as passed six feet apart. There are people out washing their cars and sitting on their patios waving as you walk by. I'm discovering that my community is much larger than I thought and with this discovery today I found that I was lost. Yes . . . lost in my own community on streets that I never knew existed. I was on the verge of going to Google Maps on my phone when I realized I could cut across some grass, go around the edge of a lake and end up on the road that runs past our community. By the time I finally got home I needed a shower and a nap. Can't wait to see what I'll discover tomorrow.

MYSTERY SOLVED

This great pandemic of 2020 has brought about thousands of questions . . . Where did it come from? Why did it happen? How do we stop it? What do I do to keep myself healthy?

The one burning question that rises above all the others though, is
                 
                    ?????WHY ARE PEOPLE BUYING UP ALL THE TOILET PAPER ???????

I have solved that mystery !!!!

Think about this . . .  here we are in un chartered territory . . .  Never before have we had to deal with something like this and every where every one is at a loss as to what to do.  We HAVE to stay home .
We can't go out to eat, we can't go out to the movies or the stores, we can't even go to the beach or parks to get away from the house.  We are being held hostage by a stupid little bug, (virus) that is rocking our world.  So here we are . . . day after endless day left with nothing to do but resort to our electronic devices to entertain us. Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and the rest are raking in a fortune while we SIT on our butts and watch a screen, or possibly read a book.  But that is not the worst of it . . . What do we do while we are sitting on our couches and chairs glued to the TV? . . .   WE EAT !!!!!!  It is a primal instinct. Think about the cave men and what they did when they finally sat down in front of a fire, (presumably they had by now discovered fire), after a hard day of hunting and gathering . . . They ATE !!  That water buffalo or wooly mammoth that they had killed that day was now being chewed on as they sat and relaxed.  So it's no wonder that as soon as we sit down anywhere in our home, ( with the exception of the bathroom . . .I hope), we require food to fill our faces.  These endless hours of self isolation are nothing more than a 24 hour opportunity to eat !  And you know that old saying
                                                      "What goes in must come out!"

Well if that's the case all this eating puts us in the bathroom several times a day using up double the amount of TP from when we were out and about and not eating as much. On an average day you would be out of your house a good portion of the day doing what ever and you wouldn't have a sandwich, bag of chips or an ice cream in your hand unless you stopped for lunch. Then when you did take a lunch break it usually included a run to the public rest room where you could use someone else's toilet paper supply.  But NOW . . . we are home 24 hours and getting more and more bored out of our minds as the days go by. Those of us who are fortunate enough to live where it is 80 degrees and sunny most of the time can at least sit outside where the refrigerator is not calling to us as loudly as it does when we are indoors and in close proximity to the goodies hidden within.  It's an effort to get up from the lounge chair, open the door and walk inside so I can usually keep myself from too many trips to the kitchen. But when I'm sitting in front of the TV the fridge calls to me constantly. "Hellooooooooooo Cath,  I'm waiting for you . . . there are some delicious goodies waiting here for you."  And having the will power of a flea you know I'm rummaging in that sucker every twenty minutes to see what else I can find to put in my face.  But that now brings up a new issue . . . just how desperate am I to find something to snack on that I will be reduced to eating that baking chocolate that is laying in the bottom of the vegetable bin? (Do NOT even ask why there is baking chocolate in the vegetable drawer . . .). As the days go on there are less and less choices of items that can be considered "snacks".  (I guarantee you that carrots and celery will NEVER fall into that category!) I am finding snacks that I had bought a year ago for "when my grand kids come over" and I AM eating them.  In these tough times there is no such thing as "Expiration Date". If it doesn't have bugs crawling around in it its fair game to be eaten.

Not only am I eating things that have been here since WWII I am now baking new and more scrumptious goodies.  It's not enough to eat some stale Girl Scout cookies I must now start baking FROM SCRATCH because I can't get to the store to buy a box of cake or brownie mix or a container of slice and bake cookie dough. I am searching the internet, (while eating some left over Halloween candy that I found in a container in the pantry), looking for recipes that require a minimum of eggs because I can not find a store around here that has any eggs. I'm rationing out the half dozen eggs that I have with hopes of not needing them for breakfast. (Right now cereal seems to be just fine if I don't eat all the Frosted Flakes for a snack.) And find the recipes I do !  I now have 24 of the most wonderful vanilla cup cakes made from scratch with home made butter cream icing calling me from the fridge.  I can justify baking them because it occupied about an hour of my time that I would otherwise have spent sitting and eating. It's a win win !

SO if and when this confinement ever ends we will all be 200 pounds heavier. Our only saving grace may be that with the addition of all this food to our daily diet the forty two trips to the bathroom every day will help work off some of those pounds.

WAKE UP PEOPLE

So FINALLY the state of California gets something right !  For the past several years I have watched this wonderful state go down hill like a bobsled in the Winter Olympics.  They have gotten NOTHING right in years and when they declared themselves a "Sanctuary State" that was the final straw.  I decided that the entire state population was "drinking the cool-aid" and had totally lost their minds. I have known for years that the "A-List State" housed way too many narcissistic actors who were brain dead when it came to using some common sense but over the last decade it has just bordered on the insane and ridiculous. So when I heard that the governor of the state of California has issued state wide mandatory rules for keeping people at home my faith in human intelligence has been restored.

Now we just have to work on the other 49 states to get it right. Personally I think Florida should shut its borders completely!  And the "Spring Breaker" generation should be shot with blow darts as they arrive here with their nasty germs. What a selfish thing to do . . . travel in this pandemic should be stopped completely. It really is the only way to contain this nasty virus. But I guess that before we close our borders we should really start in our own communities and shut down ALL the Costco's !  Yesterday D and I ordered some food on line and drove to Publix where a worker came out with our groceries and put them directly in the trunk of the car.  When we got home we brought in our 4 bags, unpacked the items, put them away, put the empty grocery bags out side and washed our hands about twenty times in the process.  There were only three Publix supermarkets in our area that provided this service. (In Florida there are at least forty Publix markets in a ten mile radius . . . I kid you not!) It was a great way to shop except that out of the 14 items we ordered Publix had to make substitutions for 9 of them and they had NO eggs or meat.  I think we will survive just fine in spite of this.  On our way to Publix we passed the local Costco and noted that the parking lot was FULL to capacity just like any other Thursday afternoon.

PEOPLE . . .   USE YOUR BRAINS . . . STAY HOME !!!!!!

How stupid can people be ?  There is NO reason to be out and about right now.  This is serious shit and you are gambling with your life and mine.  You may not be afraid that you will get sick but you just might infect someone, who can infect someone, who can infect someone.  We have telephones and computers through which we can do just about anything.  God Bless Amazon and their workers who are working overtime filling orders to keep us going. I know I am doing my part to keep the economy going. You do NOT have to go out to shop. There are a thousand things you can do to keep this virus contained if you would just use your smarts and think about others not just yourself.

WHAT'S NEW IN THE NEWS

Who knew the daily paper could be so entertaining !  I'm not a news watcher or a paper reader. I don't even care for magazine articles so usually I depend on remaining "current" in the news by talking with The Man.  This practice dates all the way back to the 46 years I was married to Ger who was the King of Fox News. D is a close runner up but will occasionally turn on the hunting of fishing channel which is at least a break. It's when the men turn on COPS that I have to exit the room.

During our forced vacation at home TV watching has become a major part of our lives as far as entertainment goes.  Since being with me D has discovered the world of Netflix and Prime.  He never knew streaming existed before he met me. Every night is spent searching for new series to follow or a new movie to watch. It's surprising how much crap is out there and I think we have watched about thirty percent of it. But then there are the series that are so good we actually have to watch them a second time . . . Breaking Bad being a prime example.

But the best part of our "self isolated" days are the mornings when we get to go outside in our jammies with a cup of coffee to get the paper that has been delivered to our door. I only subscribe to our Palm Beach Post when D is in Florida because normally I get up and moving as soon as I get out of bed. (Possibly that is because I am getting out of bed at noon but what ever, I don't normally take time for breakfast.) But when the man is here life runs at a different pace and breakfast coffee and a sweet are required every morning. If I'm going to sit down and have breakfast I might as well do it while catching up on the news.  Although the world news is usually rather dull reading I have discovered that the local news is better than television.  Wednesday brings all the wonderful food articles and advertisements and Thursday has . . .  THE POLICE BLOTTER !!!!   OMG . . . There is nothing better for starting your morning with a good laugh. I realize we live in Flor - I - DUH but I seriously can not believe the things that people do. It is a combination of "Cops" and "Comedy Central" all rolled into a couple of pages worth of insanity. I used to enjoy reading this section of our little local paper when I lived in NY but that couldn't even come close to the stuff that goes on down here.

Once I finish a quick check of world and local news my next favorite stop is the Obituaries.  There is some really interesting reading in that section, seeing how old people were and where they came from. Little did I realize I would hit the Mother Load on Tuesday when I opened the paper and saw that Sherman Leslie Tuppen Jr. had died.  (This obituary was as long as War and Peace but much more entertaining.)  Bud, as he was known to family and friends was a "third generation Floridian".  That being the opening sentence of his obituary I had to read on because NO ONE is born in Florida and stays here for THREE generations.  But that was only the beginning of an ENTIRE page telling about Bud and how his grand parents came to Florida, made their living, had families and moved about the state. This was the MOST entertainment I have had in weeks.  I laughed till I cried at some of the things included in this article and would love to know who it was who wrote it. Some of the highlights were that back in 1893 Bud's grand father and grand mother eloped "on horse to Orlando". The family must have loved horses because Bud's dad owned several horses that were rented out to people who needed them until the horses "got diseased from the heat and were lost". From horses the family went on to owning boats that were used for parties for the well to do. (There are 2 paragraphs detailing some of those trips and naming an actress of the early 1900's who partied with them.)
The article tells of Bud's father and mother's life, when they married and all the jobs they held.
Included in the life of Bud is a paragraph telling how when Bud was 14 he "applied for his learners permit to drive but they made a mistake and gave him his permanent  license".

This obituary was GREAT !  Bud should be very proud of who ever wrote it and if the author is available I think they should start writing the screenplay for the movie about Bud's life.

THE "UP" SIDE

The seriousness of this national pandemic is not lost on me.  I can not believe how our lives have changed in the span of a week. I hope all of you out there are taking all the necessary precautions to keep yourselves healthy and safe.      

Personally . . . I am LOVING this forced isolation and can not be enjoying life more. There is NO place to go.  No doctor appointments, no shopping, no babysitting, (although I REALLY do miss that one), and no schedule to follow.  It's like I am on vacation !  I am actually having the opportunity to enjoy living in Florida without the daily burden of life.  I have HOURS and HOURS to do what ever I want to!  It's GREAT !!   Now I don't know if this will wear off in a week or two but right now life is good. The fact that the weather has been absolutely PERFECT is a huge bonus.  Everyday has been sunny, 82 degrees and low humidity.  I mean . . . I'm in Heaven.

Being quarantined is also giving me time to read the paper every day, do my puzzles in the paper and have breakfast, lunch and/or dinner eaten when ever we want outside on the lanai.  We have brought our huge jigsaw puzzle that we've been working on for the past month outside to work on in the sunlight for hours on end.  Life is good.  
 Not running around every day has given D and I a much needed refresher. We have been together for 4 years now and things were getting a little mundane as happens with "old married" folks.  We are discovering all over again why we enjoy each others company whether it is just sitting quietly together or cooking. (Yes, the Man cooks!).

BUT most importantly I am gaining LOTS of material for my blogs.  One such incident came to light yesterday when I gave Dwayne his new St. Patrick's Day tee shirt.  First off let me tell you that the Norwegians of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan DO NOT celebrate St. Patricks Day. . .  EVER !
The man does not have a clue that everyone is Irish on March 17th. In order to get him indoctrinated into the Irish mentality I bought him a black tee shirt with big green letters that say "CHEERS". Being a beer drinker I thought this particular shirt would be perfect for him.  He really liked the shirt and was all ready for the day. Little did he realize that I had actually bought him 2 shirts exactly alike, one was a LARGE and the other was MEDIUM.   In the 4 years that I have known this man he has prided himself in wearing medium tee shirts but over the past year these shirts have been slowly "shrinking" according to him.  The fact that his belly is getting a bit larger does not occur to him . . .
it is the shirts that are shrinking !  Yesterday I gave him the medium shirt and explained that I thought it looked very small to me so I also bought a large shirt just in case.  Holding up the medium shirt to demonstrate just how small it looked he agreed to try on the large one which fit great and was so super comfortable he wore it all day today.  Showing him the medium shirt opened up the discussion of how clothing manufactures are not making clothes the same sizes as they used to. According to The Man medium shirts are much smaller than they used to be. AND the fabrics are not as good as in years past because the shirts ALWAYS shrink in the wash !  
You will be proud of me . . .  I did not fall on the floor laughing hysterically. I just tucked this all away until I could get to my computer and share this with you.

If this pandemic continues I'm sure there will be a daily blog sharing more of this sort of stuff with you.  Until then stay healthy !!!

ENGINEERING DEGREE.

I graduated from college without ever taking a single class in engineering.  I had no interest in this field and was quite content to become a simple minded kindergarten teacher. Little did I realize I would soon join an elite group of engineers who keep the every day life of man kind running smoothly.
                                   Yes . . . I'm talking about WOMEN.

I would bet that 98 % of women are like myself and have never taken a single course in engineering and yet each and every day we accomplish feats of engineering that a man would never attempt.  I base this theory on how my home is "organized" and how I can pretty much put my finger on anything that is needed by The Man.  How often do you find your man standing in front of an open refrigerator or cabinet staring into it for a good five minutes before he asks you where something is? At this point you don't even hesitate to give him detailed directions on how to find the mayonnaise on the left side of the third shelf down just in back of the pickles.  We can do this because we have "engineered"our homes for the maximum capacity and efficiency to keep our daily lives as stress free as possible.
We can cram thirty pounds of food into a pantry the size of a toaster oven. AND we know exactly where everything is in that pantry and what we may be running low on. Some of us may appear to have "cluttered" homes but do not doubt for a single second that we can't locate anything we need.
Not only do we know where everything is we also know WHY that particular item is where it is. The guest towels are on the top shelf in the linen closet because we don't use them as often as our every day towels. It just makes perfect sense !

Enter The Man who has no idea of,   well,   petty much anything.  Over the past week I have pondered the "thought process" of the opposite sex only to discover once again that there IS NO thought process. Habit and impulse are the two motivating factors in the world of men. If he has made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich once in his life time he will continue to make that sandwich EXACTLY the same way for the next 90 years.  If any portion of this action is changed by someone The Man is lost.  God forbid you toast the bread or purchase apricot jelly instead of grape the world comes to a screeching halt until things return to "normal".

Consider this weeks chili recipe . . . Don't get me wrong . . . I LOVE a man who cooks but a little flexibility really could be helpful.  It all started with the shopping list.  Canned DICED tomatoes, not minced. sliced, or whole tomatoes are required even though I had a can of crushed tomatoes already in the pantry they could NOT be used. We HAD to go to the store to get diced tomatoes. Also required was SWEET onion, (not yellow onion . . . can you tell the difference when cooked in a pot of chili?), and other assorted ingredients that were not already here in my home. I DID have frozen hamburgers but we had to have chop meat. (Is an hamburger not just chop meat formed into a patty?), a can of tomato sauce, (not tomato paste or a JAR of tomato sauce), and RED kidney beans.
Once all the ingredients were gathered it was time to chop and sauté. The Man needed TWO separate fry pans, one to brown the meat and one to brown the onion. . . . ??????????  Engineering 101 states that an efficient cook use as little cookware as possible. Cook, combine and simmer EVERYTHING in just one pan. And naturally The Man had to ask me WHERE the fry pans were. (He has been living here for six months for the past four years and still doesn't know where I keep the pots and pans.)  The chili was good but really not as good as you would have thought considering all the EXACT ingredients we needed. I've made chili for years and it NEVER contains the same ingredients. It us always made from what ever I happen to have in the fridge and pantry at that particular time. Sometimes I use left over spaghetti sauce and what ever type of canned beans I happen to have on hand. And it ALWAYS tastes just great to me!

The second thing that's been going on here that challenges my finely engineered home has to do with the bath mat in our master bath. Our master bath has a walk in shower with sliding glass doors. There is a "towel" bar on the outside of the shower door which I use to hang a decorative bath mat. This bath mat is white with a lovely dark grayish blue design on it. It is a small, thin mat.
ON THE FLOOR there is a LARGE dark grey, soft, fuzzy bath mat. This mat stays on the floor between the two sinks and when I take a shower I slide it with my foot over to the shower. The Man seems to find this to be too challenging because EVERY time he takes a shower he puts the decorative mat on the floor for when he exits the shower and then LEAVES it there. I get that he has not grasped the logic of using a fuzzy mat that is ALREADY ON the floor but at least hang up the other mat after you use it.  

I guess he never took an engineering course either.

NOT SO AMUSING

I hear there is a new amusement park getting ready to open in the United States.
It's called "Bernie World" and will feature FREE parking, FREE admission, FREE rides and attractions and FREE refreshments.

Some of the rides included in the park will be "Cash Mountain", "Run Amuck Railroad", "It's a Jungle Out There Cruise", "Pirates of Capitol Hill", "I Must Be From Space Mountain",  " What Are You Drinking in Your Teacup?", "Twenty Thousand Leagues From Reality", and "Bernie's Bats in the Belfry Castle".

The mascot of the park will be Ima Snowflake and her Seven Henchmen . . .  Daffy, Dingbat, Dopey, Dummy, Dippy, Ditzy and Doofus.  They will constantly roam the park making sure everyone is happy.

Concession stands will offer a variety of food including "Bull Shit Burgers" and "Crock of Lies Soup" with side orders of 'Freaky, Flakey French Fries". There will be only one liquid refreshment offered in the park but it will come in several flavors so that everyone who "Drinks the Cool aid" will enjoy a flavor they like.

Unfortunately Bernie world will only remain open for two days at which time it will run out of money for the energy bills and wages for the workers who actually run the park.

I believe at this point the property will be purchased by China.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YOU DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE" ?

In this day and age it is tough not to "get the message".  It's not like in years gone by when someone had to throw a rock at your head to let you know they waned you to listen up. People no longer send up smoke signals or wrap notes around the foot of a bird when they have something to tell you. Thank goodness because in all those instances there is a really good chance you will not get the message because the wood for the fire is too wet to ignite or your carrier pigeon is the one pigeon in the coop who happens to have no sense of direction and ends up in Canada instead of Florida.

Lucky for us we live in such a technological world that our phones bring us an average of four thousand messages a minute. If you are lucky enough to have a signal on your phone to alert you of an incoming message you can be bombarded by a cacophony of sound every few seconds. My text message alert happens to be a whistle . . . WHOO HOO !  It's such a joy when someone sends me a group text so that not only will my phone whistle at me when the original message comes in but it will then keep alerting me when each and every one of the three hundred people in the group message respond. I came out of the shower the other night to find Dwayne with a pillow over his head trying to stop the noise caused by one of my friends sending out pictures of her little grandson to her entire contact list. The next twenty minutes were filled with "Adorable", " How Sweet", "Precious" messages from all over the country, (possibly the world), as the entire population of Guam responded to baby pictures. Having not left my phone in silent mode each message was signaled by a LOUD "Whoo Hoo" that could pierce the ear of Helen Keller. No wonder D took cover !

Unfortunately God does not have a "Whoo Hoo" to signal when HE has a message for me which He often does. The reason I get so many celestial messages is because I have so many many questions. Me, being me, often miss the answer to my questions and God then has to resend the message over and over until I do get it.  This past month has been a particularly busy time for God and I must say he has done a stellar job getting back to me when I have asked for answers. In the case of a particular extended family issue that I have struggled with for over five years God finally made it abundantly clear what HE wanted me to do. A couple of weeks ago I once again was asking for guidance and I guess God had had enough so for the next three weeks EVERY sermon and reading during mass had the EXACT same message for me. I mean the answer to my prayers was spelled out over and over again so I really did get that message. FINALLY !  (I'm sure God had given me the same answer the first time I asked for help but I just wasn't seeing or hearing it. Talk about throwing a brick through my window . . . I hear you now God!)

Last week I needed some Heavenly help regarding my shoulder surgery that was scheduled for tomorrow. I've been plagued by deteriorating shoulder joint that is painful and restricting. I have had to adapt my life style to compensate for the limited movement and discomfort. Nine months ago I finally decided it was time to see an orthopedic doctor but didn't know who to go to.  My initial thought was to see if my knee doctor would recommend someone because my knee doc was AMAZING and I would trust her to send me to someone as good as herself. But then I got lazy and just called a doctor I had seen a couple of years ago about my hand. She is listed as, "shoulder to hand" specialist and I did like her so that's where I went. She did x-rays and had me do an MRI which resulted in scheduling surgery for early January of this year. That's about when God started sending me messages. Things started popping up that caused me to reschedule the surgery until March. Now as it was getting down to crunch time I had to return to the surgeon who then sent me for all sorts of pre-op testing. The first road block was when I arrived for the visit with my surgeon she wasn't there. Who ever had rescheduled me from January booked me an appointment on a day when the doctor was in surgery. Time is now passing and the window of opportunity for all the required tests is slowly closing. I returned a couple of days later to try again and was left waiting TWO hours in the exam room for an 8:45 AM appointment. This was bad enough but I had made an other appointment with my GP for more required testing and that appointment was at 11:00. I saw the surgeon for all of three minutes and raced out to my next doctor. Once there I was told I had to have blood work done AND a chest x-ray. That meant having to make two additional appointments at two different locations. I am now thirteen days away from surgery and counting. Next came the phone call from the hospital where the surgery would be done telling me I had to make an appointment with them to come in to register and have a MSRA test. I ALSO needed to make an appointment to take their two hour Pre-Op CLASS that would inform me of what exactly would happen once I entered their doors on the day of my surgery. (Like I have never been in a hospital for surgery before!) I made all these appointments and went for my hospital registration meeting which took forever. At this point I am starting to wonder if God is trying to tell me something. I really started to get the message when I got the call from my surgeons office a nine days before surgery informing me I had tested positive for the MSRA virus and would have to treat it with five days of antibiotic before I could have surgery and then only after being RE tested to make sure it was gone. (All that at least got me out of the 2 hour class which I was able to take on line. I finished it in under ten minutes!)  I started the medicine on Tuesday and finished on Saturday but could not be retested until Monday because the lab is not open on Sunday. When I called my surgeons office on Friday to confirm the testing plan for 7 AM Monday morning the assured me the lab request had been sent in and if I had this done FIRST THING IN THE MORNNG they would have the results in 48 hours which would still barely allow me to have the surgery scheduled for 49 hours from then. Now I am REALLY starting to wonder if I am on the right path with all this so I start asking God for a sign telling me if I should or should not go ahead with the surgery. There was no divine intervention at mass this weekend so I took that as a "go ahead" from God.              UNTIL . . .
Monday morning I am up at 6AM and out the door by 6:30 without waking Dwayne. I arrived at the hospital at 6:45, the lab opens at seven but NO ONE has any orders from my doctor to do the test !   The poor girl behind the desk at the hospital went through all her files, she checked the fax machine, checked with her associates and there was NOTHING from my surgeons office which would not be open for another TWO hours.   GOD HAD SENT ME MY MESSAGE !  I was so calm, thanked the girl and returned home to read the paper until D woke up at 8:00. (I think he was more upset about the whole thing than I was.)  I really felt as if I now knew what I was supposed to do, When I called the surgeons office later that morning to cancel surgery and all future contact with their office the girl asked me to share my reason for that decision. I was super calm when I explained to them how poorly they had handled the whole experience and all the things they had done wrong.

I HOPE THEY GOT THE MESSAGE !

NOW WHAT ??????????

I feel like this is my life right about now . . . every day bringing a new adventure that causes me to say . . .  REALLY ???????????         NOW WHAT ???????????????

I know we all have lives that present us with this question on a daily basis but HOURLY ?  Even I find that to be a little extreme.   Thank God none of the "Now What" questions are earth shattering, mind blowing or life threatening but they do give me reason to shake my head in wonder.

First and foremost in this daily assault of my mental health, (which we all know is fragile at best), is
THE MAN .   By now you should have come to the realization that I have a problem with men in general.  Mostly my problem is that they exist.  I know God created us from their rib but I think that is about the only thing that the two sexes have in common.  It is a sick joke on us women that I know gives God endless hours of amusement.  What I can't figure is how all my best friends when I was a kid growing up in Queens, NY were boys. I never liked playing dolls with the cruel and evil girls in my neighborhood, (they were older than me and took great joy in tormenting me), but I would spend hours on end riding bikes and playing ball with all the boys. I don't know when all this changed but I think it had something to do with getting married and being put in a "submissive" roll. That whole, "Yes Dear" thing just doesn't float my boat.

But once again I digress from the topic of "Now What ?"  I think this is one of the funniest photos I have seen in ages. This winter has been a series of days/hours where I am asking myself this exact question.  Dwayne running back and forth to doctors and hospitals on a weekly basis trying to get solutions for his COPD has resulted in a daily/weekly question of NOW WHAT?  ( A hearty dose of some common sense might help but that does not seem to be an option here.) Trying to find time to do anything for myself when there is a constant distraction of house guests makes me question NOW WHAT?  ( If one more person from up North calls to see if I'm 'going to be around' I am going to explode.) My almost daily introduction of one medical issue after another ranging from minor to HOLY CRAP makes me wonder NOW WHAT?  I was supposed to have shoulder replacement surgery back in January, giving myself the winter to recover so I'd be ready to head to Alaska in June. Thanks to a series of wasted and futile trips to the Miami VA for The Man I rescheduled my surgery till March. (What's another 3 months of pain ?) Now the surgery is scheduled for this coming Wednesday but that may not happen because in the course of all the pre-op testing I have tested positive for the MRSA virus. (At least it's not Coronavirus!) I'm now treating that issue but won't know if my surgery can happen on Wednesday until I get retested for MRSA on Monday, with the results not coming in until late Tuesday.  Talk about last minute planning !   If there is a delay in the surgery that backs up all the "summer" plans which at this point I could care less about. I'm secretly hoping for a month long coma to give my mind and body a chance to get a GOOD rest.  I am so desperate for some quality sleep and alone time that I scheduled a colonoscopy/endoscopy a year earlier than necessary. It was WONDERFUL !  Good sleep, people waiting on me . . . Hell Yes!

Winter NEEDS to be over and ALL the visitors from up North NEED to vacate my space and give me some space.  I'm on total overload here and am not handling it well.  I can't seem to function at all. In addition to loosing my mind I have also lost a set of my car keys and several gift cards that I received for Christmas. EVERYTHING I touch turns to shit, dinners are burned and the house looks like ground zero after the apocalypse. The Florida cockroaches, AKA Palmetto bugs,  are dancing in glee because I am providing a feast for them on my kitchen floor.  I finally had my cleaning lady come here this past week and when she finished she left me a sympathy note.

I think I need to stop asking NOW WHAT? because obviously God IS listening and just adding on more and more until I stop asking. Instead I think I will find myself a coconut, put the lime into it and add a quart of rum. With that done I will go out onto the lanai and sit beneath this following sign and just dare anyone to enter my space.

                                                 (DO NOT DISTURB)
                                                         
                      ALREADY DISTURBED . . . PROCEED WITH CAUTION !