SAND AND SEA WHERE WE PEE

Well, Abby was here again so have I got Abby stories for you ! That girl just cracks me up. Maybe it is because she is the first grand child or maybe because she is the oldest girl or maybe because she was an only child for so long that she has such a unique personality but she just tickles me and makes me laugh when ever I am around her. She is my baby bird and I hope she never leaves the nest in my heart. Although sometimes I could push her out head first and then throw a brick on her head!

Kyle, Bridget, Abby and Roman flew down from Atlanta this past weekend to give me a hand getting rid of some things by selling them on line. We used a local web site that uses facebook and did quite well ridding ourselves of the treadmill, my dresser, 2 night tables and lamps from my bedroom, a bunch of toys and outdoor play things. Grand ma raked up the cash and the kids helped clear out a huge space in the house. They even packed up a mess of things for a yard sale that Kristen and her friend are having down by them in 2 weeks. Abby, Roman and Smith put price tags on the items and packaged them into boxes and bags so Kent could load them into the car and bring them down to Pompano on Saturday when they went home. It was a whirl wind weekend in which we accomplished A LOT but also got to the beach three times.

Which brings about the title of today's blog.  After beach trip # 3 which was cut short due to pending thunder storms we made a quick retreat to the house before we got electrocuted. There was only one large rumble of thunder but Bridget said she saw lightening and we weren't going to wait around to see if there would be any more so we hot footed it off the beach and into the car. When we got home Abby headed for my bathroom to shower as she had been doing the previous days. I had noted after her past 2 beach showers there was a growing mound of sand just outside the shower but figured I'd clean it all up once the gang left town. Roman and I headed out to the back yard to bring in any toys that had been left there the previous day by Smith and the twins and I jumped into the pool, (storm be damned!) to rinse off and cool down. Just as I stepped out of the pool Abby popped out of the sliding door from my bedroom in a bit of a panic asking if I had any towels.   (THIS IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN!)  Because I have started packing there is a shortage of everything. Even though I kept out enough towels for the guests we didn't have extras laying around and having just come from 3 days at the beach everything was pretty saturated. Anyway . . .  Roman and I looked at each other with that look of "OH OH  WHAT HAS SHE DONE NOW?"  It seems that I had not put the shower head back in the holder after my shower the previous night so when Abby went to take her shower she stood on tip toe to place the shower head up in the holder but when she turned the water on and walked away the force of the water knocked the shower head off the holder and swung it down spraying water all over the bathroom because Abby had also not closed the shower door when she left the bathroom. She returned to a flooded, sandy bathroom floor.  Her first reaction was a good one.  She shut off the water and started mopping up the floor with the only available things she had. WASHCLOTHS ! By the time I got there we had 10 very soggy wash cloths, a pile of sand washed up against the wall, a sodden bath mat weighing in at about 30 pounds and a swimming pool big enough for a hippo to cool off in.

I've been doing laundry ever since !

THE HORRORS JUST KEEP COMING . . .

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse today happened. This was the ultimate worst thing I have had to struggle through yet. With all the change I am going through and all the challenges I have been faced with I got up today, took my condo rental application over to the new community I hope to be living in and dropped that off along with two checks for deposits.  The girl in the office said she would be in touch soon.  Now I wait.

Rather than wander aimlessly around the neighborhood I chose instead to return home to my house and get into some work clothes and get started on some more packing of my belongings.  I've decided to attack this systematically. Everyone says to just pick a closet or drawer to start with, open the door and start pulling things out. The choice is to either throw each item away or pack it. I have chosen to add option #3 which is to either donate or sell items at a yard sale.

The BIG question is which closet or drawer do I start with ????????   Fool that I am I chose . .. . . . .
                                      THE     JUNK    DRAWER
And this is where the horror began . . .
Everyone has a junk drawer. Don't try to tell me you don't. You may not call it your junk drawer but you know it when you see it. It's that drawer in the kitchen or in your desk or in your night table or in the hall closet that has the scissors and tape and glue stick and tacks and string and batteries and all that other little crappy stuff that just doesn't fit any place else except in that catch all drawer that is lovingly referred to as "THE JUNK DRAWER".   Most junk drawers are just a hot mess of stuff crammed in hodge podge so that often it is impossible to get the drawer open. That's the fun of a junk drawer.  You never know if it will open and you never know what you will find in it. There's always the chance you will impale your self on an exacto knife or a thumb tack or even glue your self to the super glue that your husband left open when he last used it. It"s a black hole of surprises that if you don't clean it out every so often can sometimes take over your kitchen. In spite of the fact that MY junk drawer is very organized compared to most, complete with separate sections for pens, markers, batteries and paperclips it still took me over an hour to clean it out today and pack its contents for moving, garbage and yard sale. I have NO idea what took me so long but I have never in my life seen a junk drawer so clean once I finished.  Nor do I know why I ever had reason to purchase 42 black magic markers, 27 sharpie markers, 53 ball point pens, 64 pencils, 15 erasers and an untold amount of paperclips. From that one junk drawer I managed to produce 3 boxes of item to sell at a yard sale and 2 boxes of things to move to my new home and my new junk drawer where ever that will be.

How strange to picture a new junk drawer in a kitchen that I can't even picture yet. Will the drawer be as large as this one was? Will I have to down size my junk like everything else in my life? If  only I could down size my butt and thighs as easily as my junk drawer I'd really be a happy camper.
       
                                         

NO YOU CAN'T HELP ME PACK !

I get it ! I DO understand ! But seriously friends and family . . .  you can NOT help me pack ! I know you all love me and want to help in some way to make this as easy as possible for me but packing for me or with me just is not the answer.

Consider this scenario . . . My house . . . Total chaos . . . boxes everywhere . . . closet doors open . . . dresser and cabinet drawers open . . . objects spilling out of closets and drawers . . . things  piled on beds and counters and tables and you think you are going to know what to put where ?  HELL, I don't know what to put where !

I've got boxes and bags labeled to go to the veterans. I've got boxes and bags filled and set aside for a yard sale in Pompano and I've got boxes and bags slowly filling up waiting to be moved into my new condo. Then as the "condo" pile gets too large I freak out, tear those boxes open again, re sort that stuff and add some of the condo things to the yard sale and veterans piles. IT IS A NIGHTMARE ! But for some very bizarre reason I'm having a great time !

 I have always loved organizing things. From the time I was a kid I could spend hours emptying a drawer and reorganizing it. My room was always fairly neat and my toys were always taken care of. Guess that explains why I still have the original game of Life from when I was a kid.  Always put the pieces back in their proper spots after playing for hours with my imaginary friends. (Oh the strange things an only child will resort to in order to amuse themselves!)
But I don't need to resort to games these days.  I've got plenty to keep me busy for the next month.

Packing is a solitary sport and I am enjoying every day of it. I only need to convince everyone that I am fine doing this alone and I really can't and don't need anyone to help at this stage of the game. The MOVING stage of this adventure is a totally different story. THAT is when I will need a ton of help and THAT is when I an assure you every single one of my friends and family will be on vacation!

HOME SICK

Has anyone ever died because they had to leave their home ?  I actually feel I am going to die. Or is it that I wish I could die? Or is it that I am feeling so poorly that I want to die? 

I do believe it is ALL of the above !

I have become physically sick over leaving this house. I've got this horrible condition where I can not wear makeup because my eyes continue to leak at arbitrary moments and I can't catch my breath. Water pours down my face and sobs make it hard for me to breathe.  This can occur as I am in the middle of Publix, while driving down the road or even in the middle of chatting with someone at Starbucks. It is most embarrassing but it just catches me unaware at the oddest of times.  Then there are the stomach issues which I will not go into detail on but suffice to say I have emptied several bottles of Pepto Bismol and am working on the bottle of Imodium.  I'm really glad I had gone for my check ups at the gastro intestinal doctor or I would REALLY be concerned with the pains and nasty things going on down there.  Stress can do amazing things to a persons body.

The only thing unaffected by all this is my sleep. But then depression always put me into a stupor where I can sleep days on end like a bear hibernating.  If it wasn't for having to pack up my personal items and rid myself of almost EVERYTHING else I would be in bed under the covers from now until the day I had to move out.  

I don't think this ever occurred to my 2 oldest children when they came up with this brilliant plan to have me move NOW that I just am not ready yet.  I am being ripped from this place and every day is just like tearing a layer of skin off my body.  I cry constantly, I am physically ill over it but keep telling myself it is the RIGHT thing to do.  BUT if it's so right why does it hurt so very very much?

I THINK I STILL LIVE HERE

At least I thought I still owned this house. And yet this has been such a nightmare  maybe I have totally lost my mind and have been locked away in the state mental asylum to spend my few remaining years in a  padded cell. I'm probably sitting in a dank corner some where drooling into my bowl of gruel imagining myself writing this blog. If this is the case would you please notify my doctors that they need to up the dosage on my meds.

The reason for my confusion is that when Sharon (BFF from NY who is here to help me retain my sanity during this horrific span of my life. Not even Gerry's death came close to this house sale nonsense!) and I came back from our day of escaping reality today I collected the last two days accumulation of mail. ( I dread bringing in the mail these days. It never contains anything good.) There was the normal pile of advertisements, mass cards looking for donations and other general crap but first and foremost on the very top of the pile was a LARGE manila envelope from a reverse mortgage company addressed to MY ADDRESS but NOT to my name. Instead it was addressed to the person who is the prospective buyer of my house.

This person is in contract to buy my house and is ALREADY having mail sent to MY address???????
And the joke is it is an application for a reverse mortgage !!   WHY THE F - - -  didn't I apply for one of those so I could have stayed in my house ???  Did no one think of that when they were rushing to get me to sell the house ????????  

So here I sit, SCHMUCK of the year, still no place to move into because quite honestly I just can't imagine where I want to live and now I'm collecting mail for the prospective owners of my house.
Gee, it just keeps getting better and better !

Any body got a bridge I can jump off of?

DEEP IN "DO" "DO" 'S

Why do people feel they have to make "suggestions" or even be so bold as to TELL you what you NEED to do when you are in a position of making changes in your life ? All this "helpful" input from friends and family is putting me right over the edge and straight on to a complete and total spiral into a mental collapse.

 EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR ME .

The phrase, "You know what you should do!" is offered way too often by way too many people for way too many reasons. I know everyone means well but it really gets tiring. After hearing the same suggestion from the same person for a week and a half you would think they would get the hint that perhaps I am not going to take their suggestion so maybe they should STOP giving that advice? But sadly NO, they just continue giving the same sad advice as if I hadn't heard it ever before and I would suddenly think it extremely wise and profound.  Isn't that something like the description of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

Then we have the helpful Harry's who think their advice is so excellent I should drop everything and try their suggestion immediately. They will tell me something at 10AM on a Tuesday morning and then call me at 3 that same afternoon to see how their suggestion worked out. I have not even gotten out of the bedroom at that point never mind made it to the telephone or out of the house to follow through with what ever our conversation was about that morning. When I tell them this they are SHOCKED that I have not followed through with the forty three steps involved in what ever we discussed.  I work at a turtles pace, sometimes a dead turtles pace when my friends expect me to be racing along like the energizer bunny on speed.  I'm met with disbelief and dismay that I haven't raced out to tackle this problem immediately.

Right now I am being met with the wide-eyed blank stares of amazement when asked where I am moving to and I reply, "I HAVE NO IDEA.".  Just because the house is sold and I go to closing in about 6 weeks and haven't a clue where I will be moving to doesn't seem to worry me.  But those folks around me are in panic mode. Talk about getting a load of, "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO"'S, this is a field day of suggestions from everyone.  I figure I can always get a storage unit for the beds and boxes.  (The new owners are keeping all other furniture.) I've got my car and a bunch of friends with empty condo's that I have the keys for. And I can always take off to travel to  parts unknown.  I'm not worried in the least.  And one thing I DO know is,  anything I DO DO is going to be done because I want to DO it not because some one tells me to DO it.    So friends . .  .
Please keep your DO DO to yourself and let me figure this out on my own. I'll call if and when I need you because I DO know you love me and you're there for me but somethings I just have to work through on my own.

ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US

And how do I know that ???????  

My Cuckoo clock died !

After all that is going on in my life right now the damn clock that Gerry and I bought on our honeymoon in Austria and brought all the way back to the USA 67 years ago decides to DIE this week ! Well ! The damn world might the "F" as well end tonight because this is just the topping on the cake ! You have GOT to be kidding me ! SERIOUSLY ?  I've been winding the damn thing twice a day for 67 years and it decides to die THIS week ?  Somebody is playing with me. And I know exactly who it is. And he is doing a fine job of messing with my head and making a fine mess of my brains and spirit but I'm praying over time, double time and FULL TIME that I get through this house sale and future home hunt without loosing my mind or shaving my head! (Brittany Spears here I come. I totally can identify with that girl. My hair is getting shorter by the day. some people eat when under stress. I cut my hair.)

There is part of me that feels that if the world would end that would be an easy out to my house hunting dilemma.  There are the signs pointing in that direction. Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton for President certainly do make us hope for an early end to civilization.  Global warming is a sign that the end is near.  The fact that "The Donald" has almost gotten the presidential nomination is another sign that civilization has lost it's mind so must be near it's end.

And the final sign that the end of the world has got to be just around the corner . . .

This is my second blog in 2 days !   What is the world coming to ?

MY GARAGE SMELLS LIKE A HORSE

YES !  I said H-O-R-S-E not house.  My garage smells like a horse.  Not a barn.  Not a cow.  A HORSE !  And don't ask how I know what a horse smells like, I just do ! And that is how my garage smells this morning, or I should say, this afternoon.  So I guess it is official . . . I have lost my mind!

I was up early today and took out the garbage and the recycling from the garage and the room DID NOT smell like any barn yard animals at 9:00 this morning. Either that or my nose had not woken up enough to be working efficiently enough to send any messages to my brain that there were any odd or unusual smells emanating from the regions of this particular area of my home.  I was in and out of that space several times and at no time did it occur to me that there was a horse in my garage. It wasn't until just a few minutes ago that I walked out into the garage to bring in the recycle bins that it hit me like a bale of hay that there was indeed a horse or ten in my garage. The smell is so strong it almost knocked me over. It did stop me in my tracks though and make me wonder if I was having a stroke. I did lift both arms and was able to smile so I figured that was a good sign so I guess that wasn't the answer.      FREAKY !!!!!

The only other answer is I must have a brain tumor !  Either that or there IS a horse hiding in my garage.  Perhaps I have a mouse with a huge ego and he thinks he is a horse?  I am about to go back into the garage and see if the smell is still there or if perhaps the horse has come out of hiding. I told you this house sale would be the end of me. If you don't hear from me in a week or so better send someone to check the garage. I may be out there having a tea party with a horse and a mouse and a bunch of other imaginary creatures.

THOUGHTS ON SELLING YOUR HOME (HOUSE)i

  Step 1.    DON'T !

No matter what anyone suggests, hints at, mentions, brings up in a passing conversation or gently "brings to your attention"  . . .  DON'T DO IT !  

This is the HELL beyond all Hells, the pits of dispair and the depths of . . . . Well, you get the idea.  It sucks big time !  When your kids decide it is " What's best for you" and the bottom financial line is you just don't have the cash flow that you used to so you KNOW it has to happen sooner rather than later it all makes sense but sense is the very LAST thing that you want to hear about right about now. It's still all too soon and all too raw and all way too painful to let go of and the thoughts of moving ANY place else is a totally impossible thought to wrap my brain around.

Then there are the GOD AWFUL actual logistics of selling your home. (And remember, this IS my HOME, not just a random 4 walls house. It is MY HOME for the past 12 wonderful years. Gerry died here and his spirit is still here with me.)  Now I have Ms high pressure real estate agent trotting through in her high heels every couple of hours bring through hoards of prospective buyers who are discussing how they will tear down this and rip up that and the other parts of my home.  Each time someone else comes through I have to leave my home and evaporate into thin air.   At the moment I am sitting in Starbucks enjoying an herbal berry tea that is quite delicious, enjoying the free wifi, tunes and AC.  Life is good thanks to Starbucks.  (Their chairs are so much more comfy than a booth at mc Donald's but the people aren't nearly as interesting.) But is annoying to have to clear everything off all the counters and furniture to make the house look like no one lives there every time some one is coming in.  I have so much stuffed in closets I can't find a thing.

THEN . . .  we have the issue of where will I go ?????  To which I have NO FREAKING ANSWER !
One day I want a condo in North Palm Beach, (which maybe I could just about afford). Then I think I should go further north cause it is cheaper and move into a trailer. They have more room than a condo but it is further away from Kent and Kristen and the kids.  The price is right and the taxes are lower so it would be smarter.  The smartest would be to go to Century Village in West Palm Beach, a 55 and over community, gated, very cheap, right off the turnpike, BUT ...............

Maybe it's time to just stop thinking and just do what I'm "supposed" to do.    Maybe my kids do know what's best.

Maybe I'll let the take over writing this blog since they're so damn smart !