"The Golden Years", "Getting Old Isn't For The Faint Hearted", "If I Knew I Was Going To Live This Long I Would Have Taken Better Care Of Myself", "You're Not Getting Any Younger" . . .
If you are over the age of 40 (?) I'm sure sure you have begun to hear some of these fine cliche's regarding growing older. At 40 you think, "Yeah Yeah I'm not 20 any more, I can't read the labels on cans in the grocery store without holding them three feet away, I must be getting old". But you have NO idea what you are in for. When someone older then you says,"Oh just wait!" you think, "HA, Not Me . . . I'm not going to be like THAT when I get old"
At 50 you start noticing wrinkles and grey hairs that weren't there before. The reason you suddenly notice these things is because you now wear glasses! Your arms could no longer hold those grocery items far enough away to read the label so you gave in and bought a six pack of "cheaters" from Costco just to read the small print. (Not that the print actually became any smaller). Now you have "reading" glasses in every room of the house for those occasions that require seeing anything up close.
Age sixty brings on the realization that your bones hurt when ever it is going to rain. You have suddenly become the family weather forecaster who is consulted before your kids head off to work. "Hey mom, should I bring my umbrella today?" It seems that your body is developing a mind of its own. You no longer have complete control of where or when you have to pee or poop, especially when you are no where near a bathroom. It's like there is a master plan to cause you as much embarrassment and discomfort as is possible. The first thing you do when you enter a store or restaurant is to look around for the restroom, "just in case". Your knees, hips and/or shoulders start to hurt so you now think twice before you head out to that golf or tennis game. You begin to doze off while watching TV after eating dinner at 6:00 instead of 8 or 9 at night. You start "feeling older" even thought you do NOT consider yourself old.
But it is only getting worse . . . Once into your seventies the wrecking ball is really starting to gather speed on that down hill run. Somewhere in the past how ever many years your life has reached the peak of that hill and you are slipping and sliding down the slippery slope on the far side. You are now officially, "Over The Hill" but you don't remember ever even seeing the hill. Another thing you don't remember seeing is the Mack truck that seems to run over you every night while you are sleeping. Every morning is an adventure to see which body part will be in the most pain at any particular moment. There is ALWAYS at least one area of your anatomy that is screaming for attention as you open your eyes and attempt to get out of bed. Of course that problem is easily solved by not being able to sleep. It now seems that even though you were so tired after having gone out at 4:30 for the Early Bird Special at your favorite restaurant only to return home to fall asleep on the couch while watching the 7:00 news when it comes to going to bed you can't sleep. You lie down in bed and your body and brain starts revving up instead of shutting down. For what ever reason that brain that didn't allow you to remember the name of the person you met in Publix now remembers EVERY name of EVERY person you have known since you were three. And it insists that you think about all of them!! No matter that it is now midnight and you are exhausted your brain is insisting you THINK about everything. Meanwhile, your body is insisting that you pay attention to all its parts that have some sort of ache or pain screaming to be addressed. Your brain is like a room full of three year olds all screaming for your attention. "Me Me Me, Look at Me!!!!!" As a result of all this you are in a constant state of exhaustion so that even the simplest of tasks seem too much to address.
And speaking of addressing things, the prospect of writing Christmas Cards and decorating for the holidays has now become so daunting that you start making up excuses for why you will avoid doing both. "The kids are all grown and the holidays are for kids so I don't need to decorate". "Stamps are so expensive who can afford to send Christmas Cards". "Half my friends are dead or can't see so why bother sending cards".
On and on it goes . . . To be continued !
