Yea, Yea, that's the story I give everyone and, in fact, do actually believe myself. SOMETIMES!
I met with my book club ladies this morning and we went over a couple of chapters in the spiritual weight loss book we are working on. When I am with these women I am FIRED UP ! Anything and everything seems possible. God has a plan for our lives. We are not in control, God is . . .
BLAGH . . . BLAGH . . . BLAGH . . . And the horse you rode in on !
One of the passages we read today suggested finding a quiet place to meditate. Sit very quietly, close your eyes, envision a peaceful, quiet setting and just breathe. As you are doing this envision God filling you with love. Isn't that just beautiful? Can't you just feel yourself calming down as you do this?
Every time I closed my eyes and tried to picture this I also pictured the door crashing open and Husband plowing in talking a mile a minute about Fox News or making one of his REALLY annoying noises. Have I told you about the assortment of sounds this man has taken to making? He burps and grunts and HUFFS. I think I have written about the huffing but it is getting louder and more frequent. It is like he can't move without releasing air in a MOST ANNOYING manner. I am about to jump up and punch him in the stomach just to get all the air out of him. Picture a woman in labor doing Lamaze breathing . . . that is H ALL THE FREAKING TIME !!
God has a plan . . . I think his plan is for me to completely loose my mind, be committed to an insane asylum so I can work with the other poor crazy folks. IS THAT YOUR PLAN, GOD ????? FUNNY GUY! REALLY . . .
One of my fellow book club ladies suggested that God has put H in my life as a lesson. She suggested that perhaps I am supposed to learn something from living with him all these years. The only thing I have learned is some really good curse words and finger motions. I am considering taking a class in brewing poison, learning Kung Fu or some weapons training. Beyond those lessons I'm just not getting it!
It is a daily battle here to keep my temper in check and not leap across the room to beat the living crap out of the man. We have all the reasons why H's brain is not functioning as it could/should but there is nothing telling me how to remain calm and carry on. Some days are better than others but recently things are just getting soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard to smile at and ignore.
And if the man makes ONE MORE sarcastic remark about me I am afraid God's plan will involve a one way ticket to the hospital for Husband.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
WAZZZZ ZUP !
Touching base from command central here. Just enjoyed a great day with Smith and his parents. Mommy Kristen is popping like Jiffy Pop even though she is only 3 months along with the twins. She has popped so much in just a week I cannot imagine what she is going to look like at 9 months. Some things are better not thought about.
Because I have my new wheels I was all set to save Kent and Kristen the drive up to our house today. Ger and I left here a little after noon and stopped to buy Ger a burger at Checkers. I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything at that point so I settled for a soda. Off we cruised down to Pompano where we found the boys both sound asleep. Kristen let us in and we sat and chilled for an hour till the men folk got up. Mookie and I FINALLY got our walk in, last week it was raining too hard and the time before that it was too hot to walk any place. Mookie is getting old and I had to talk her into more than just once around the block. The poor thing is 10 or 11 now and has no interest in sniffing or chasing lizards. I think her ears and eyes are failing so walking just isn't as much fun as it used to be. It IS a lot easier for grandma because we now do not have to stop at EVERY tree, shrub and plant. We were both glad to get back and lie on the couch for a while.
Once Smith and Kent joined the living we all left grandpa and Mookie to watch football while the rest of us went up to the pool for a swim. Now that Smith has wheels you would think the trip would take half the time but that is OH SO NOT the case. Evil Knievel took off zig zagging down the street until he noticed a lizard. At that point he would come to a screeching halt, jump out of his car and announce to all of us, "Look at THIS lizard!" After about the eighty second lizard mom and dad were making up lies about what was at the pool that we had to hurry to go see. That little man drove up to the pool, on to the sidewalk and right into the pool area without ever going off the side walk. He drives a thousand times better than Grand Pa ! We all had a lovely swim and then returned to the house to get grand pa so we could go out to dinner. (The trip home took as long because not only did we have to stop to check out the lizards but Smith had to pick some flowers for mom and I to put in our hair.) This kid is too freaking cute !
Next weekend we are all traveling so we won't get a Smith fix. We will be headed to Maine and a Glo and John fix on Frye Island and Smith and family are headed to a wedding with a quick overnight at cousin Finn and Kaelin's house in MD. I bet we will all have lots of stories to tell when we all return.
Because I have my new wheels I was all set to save Kent and Kristen the drive up to our house today. Ger and I left here a little after noon and stopped to buy Ger a burger at Checkers. I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything at that point so I settled for a soda. Off we cruised down to Pompano where we found the boys both sound asleep. Kristen let us in and we sat and chilled for an hour till the men folk got up. Mookie and I FINALLY got our walk in, last week it was raining too hard and the time before that it was too hot to walk any place. Mookie is getting old and I had to talk her into more than just once around the block. The poor thing is 10 or 11 now and has no interest in sniffing or chasing lizards. I think her ears and eyes are failing so walking just isn't as much fun as it used to be. It IS a lot easier for grandma because we now do not have to stop at EVERY tree, shrub and plant. We were both glad to get back and lie on the couch for a while.
Once Smith and Kent joined the living we all left grandpa and Mookie to watch football while the rest of us went up to the pool for a swim. Now that Smith has wheels you would think the trip would take half the time but that is OH SO NOT the case. Evil Knievel took off zig zagging down the street until he noticed a lizard. At that point he would come to a screeching halt, jump out of his car and announce to all of us, "Look at THIS lizard!" After about the eighty second lizard mom and dad were making up lies about what was at the pool that we had to hurry to go see. That little man drove up to the pool, on to the sidewalk and right into the pool area without ever going off the side walk. He drives a thousand times better than Grand Pa ! We all had a lovely swim and then returned to the house to get grand pa so we could go out to dinner. (The trip home took as long because not only did we have to stop to check out the lizards but Smith had to pick some flowers for mom and I to put in our hair.) This kid is too freaking cute !
Next weekend we are all traveling so we won't get a Smith fix. We will be headed to Maine and a Glo and John fix on Frye Island and Smith and family are headed to a wedding with a quick overnight at cousin Finn and Kaelin's house in MD. I bet we will all have lots of stories to tell when we all return.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
YESTERDAYS
Yesterday my first born child had a birthday. Since he was born in 1973 I calculate he turned 40 yesterday. That is IMPOSSIBLE !
Wasn't it just yesterday that he was born? All 9 lbs, 15 oz of him. Looking up at me with those HUGE blue eyes wondering what he had gotten himself into. (I was wondering the exact same thing!)
But then, wasn't it just yesterday that we celebrated his first birthday with cake and candles and party?
Or was is just yesterday that he got on that big yellow school bus for the first time and headed off to Kindergarten and the beginning of all those years of school, friends, learning and fun?
I think it was just yesterday that he came home from Junior High all upset after tennis practice that someone had stolen his brand new Swatch Watch that he had just gotten for his birthday.
Or was it high school and the trip to Paris with the French Club, Senior trip to Washington DC or Senior Prom.
And then I know it was just yesterday that we drove him to Fredricksburg, VA and dropped him at Mary Washington College where he blossomed into the man he is today, partly thanks to meeting his wife to be.
All those little jobs he had trying to survive when Bridget was in Grad school. Traveling across the country to go to spend 2 years in Oregon while he went to grad school. Wasn't all that just yesterday?
I know it was just yesterday that my boy's daughter, Abby was born. She can't possibly be 8 years old can she? It was just yesterday that Kyle and his family went to Windsor, England for 3 years. It was just yesterday that Kyle and Bridget and Abby opened their hearts and home to Roman.
NOPE, all that is past . . . It has been forty years since this amazing man was born and brought to us the greatest blessing God could give. I love this child more than life itself and thank God every day for his presence in our lives.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE . . .
Wasn't it just yesterday that he was born? All 9 lbs, 15 oz of him. Looking up at me with those HUGE blue eyes wondering what he had gotten himself into. (I was wondering the exact same thing!)
But then, wasn't it just yesterday that we celebrated his first birthday with cake and candles and party?
Or was is just yesterday that he got on that big yellow school bus for the first time and headed off to Kindergarten and the beginning of all those years of school, friends, learning and fun?
I think it was just yesterday that he came home from Junior High all upset after tennis practice that someone had stolen his brand new Swatch Watch that he had just gotten for his birthday.
Or was it high school and the trip to Paris with the French Club, Senior trip to Washington DC or Senior Prom.
And then I know it was just yesterday that we drove him to Fredricksburg, VA and dropped him at Mary Washington College where he blossomed into the man he is today, partly thanks to meeting his wife to be.
All those little jobs he had trying to survive when Bridget was in Grad school. Traveling across the country to go to spend 2 years in Oregon while he went to grad school. Wasn't all that just yesterday?
I know it was just yesterday that my boy's daughter, Abby was born. She can't possibly be 8 years old can she? It was just yesterday that Kyle and his family went to Windsor, England for 3 years. It was just yesterday that Kyle and Bridget and Abby opened their hearts and home to Roman.
NOPE, all that is past . . . It has been forty years since this amazing man was born and brought to us the greatest blessing God could give. I love this child more than life itself and thank God every day for his presence in our lives.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE . . .
Monday, September 16, 2013
STARTING TO LOOK ALIKE !
I have heard that the longer you live with a person the more you start to look like them. I will have to shave my head and lose 40 more pounds to look like husband but after spending a fabulous four days with my buddy Sharon I have decided she and I are starting to look alike!
It does help that we are dressing alike but I am seeing more and more similarities as the years go by. If I could just get her to stop shrinking we would be twins. Then if I could get her to move to Florida we could spend even more time together and look alike even more. (I don't think that is going to happen though.)
We do have a plan that when the husbands leave us because we have totally become bitches, or when we kill the husbands because we have totally gotten sick of being bitches, we are moving into my house and splitting the chores and costs. We are including friend Jeanne in this plan as she has more to bring to the partnership than both Sharon and I combined. Jeanne is younger, she cooks, cleans, drives and is way smarter than us so she can handle the finances. We figure between the 3 of us we would have it made for a relaxing, comfortable life without the aggravation of husbands. None of us have figured what the husbands bring to our lives that makes our lives better. Living with your best friends just seems the natural choice to a happier way of living. Sharon is a nurse so she can handle all the medical issues. Jeanne has creativity and a big car so she can keep us entertained. I'm not sure what I am bringing to this plan except I have the house with a pool so I guess that's my roll.
We can dream!
We do have a plan that when the husbands leave us because we have totally become bitches, or when we kill the husbands because we have totally gotten sick of being bitches, we are moving into my house and splitting the chores and costs. We are including friend Jeanne in this plan as she has more to bring to the partnership than both Sharon and I combined. Jeanne is younger, she cooks, cleans, drives and is way smarter than us so she can handle the finances. We figure between the 3 of us we would have it made for a relaxing, comfortable life without the aggravation of husbands. None of us have figured what the husbands bring to our lives that makes our lives better. Living with your best friends just seems the natural choice to a happier way of living. Sharon is a nurse so she can handle all the medical issues. Jeanne has creativity and a big car so she can keep us entertained. I'm not sure what I am bringing to this plan except I have the house with a pool so I guess that's my roll.
We can dream!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
BFF TIME
This past week was AWESOME ! Sharon was here and we had a ball doing NOTHING ! We sat, we talked, we went out to eat, we talked, we swam in the pool, (once the rain stopped), and we talked.
IT WAS GREAT !! (By the way, if anyone needs rain just call me and I will book my BFF to come visit you. She is guaranteed to bring rain for at least half the time she is with you!)
The thing about really really good friends is that you just pick up where you left off. Things are so comfortable you can just talk and talk and talk and never run out of things to chat about. What makes a best friend is the ease of chatter and the lack of judgement. Husbands have that tendency to try to fix things, as in ME. If he would spend as much time fixing the running toilet tank in the guest bathroom as he tries to correct me I would be a happy person. But since I must sadly say that I did NOT marry my best friend H just doesn't make me as happy as my good friends do.
A good friend knows who you really are and doesn't hold that against you. A good friend listens without offering a solution or advice. A best friend will let you go on and on about something stupid and not tell you that you are being stupid. They just listen without judging or trying to change you. And on those occasions that you are being REALLY stupid they will suggest that perhaps you could look at something differently or approach the problem from a different direction. But no matter what, they are always there for you.
Sharon came down to check on me this week. She was in the hospital earlier this summer for heart problems, but she came down to check on ME . . . That's what a good friend does. I think I proved to her that I am doing OK. But considering what a great time I had I think I may fake some mental problems so she will visit me again before too long.
IT WAS GREAT !! (By the way, if anyone needs rain just call me and I will book my BFF to come visit you. She is guaranteed to bring rain for at least half the time she is with you!)
The thing about really really good friends is that you just pick up where you left off. Things are so comfortable you can just talk and talk and talk and never run out of things to chat about. What makes a best friend is the ease of chatter and the lack of judgement. Husbands have that tendency to try to fix things, as in ME. If he would spend as much time fixing the running toilet tank in the guest bathroom as he tries to correct me I would be a happy person. But since I must sadly say that I did NOT marry my best friend H just doesn't make me as happy as my good friends do.
A good friend knows who you really are and doesn't hold that against you. A good friend listens without offering a solution or advice. A best friend will let you go on and on about something stupid and not tell you that you are being stupid. They just listen without judging or trying to change you. And on those occasions that you are being REALLY stupid they will suggest that perhaps you could look at something differently or approach the problem from a different direction. But no matter what, they are always there for you.
Sharon came down to check on me this week. She was in the hospital earlier this summer for heart problems, but she came down to check on ME . . . That's what a good friend does. I think I proved to her that I am doing OK. But considering what a great time I had I think I may fake some mental problems so she will visit me again before too long.
Friday, September 6, 2013
LATE NIGHT NEWS
Each night when I go to bed I say my prayers for the day and then I get thinking about my next blog. I get all sorts of great ideas popping into my head. Unfortunately the lights are out and H is snoring so the opportunity to write anything down just isn't happening. By morning my brain is blank and the blog is the last thing I am thinking about. Until that night when I have "shower epiphanies". I do some of my very best thinking in the shower and when I am half asleep. I have some "soap crayons" that I bought for the grand kids when they take baths here. I am moving them into the shower so I can write my ideas on the walls of the shower for the next day when I have time to write. But then, with the light of day the ideas would probably seem pretty stupid and I wouldn't write any way.
I have a problem with writing during the day. H is awake . . . and it is hard to write when some one is asking a bunch of really STUPID questions like, "what are you doing?". That is my all time favorite. I am sitting at the computer with a blank page in front of me typing like crazy. WHAT THE F--- DO YOU THINK I AM DOING ? I usually reply with some snarky remark like, "I'm baking a cake" or "I'm riding a bike". That only stops the questions for a minute or two. Then we get into the "What's for lunch" or "Are you going to eat soon?" which translates into FEED ME ! Sort of like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors. H has actually told me this evening that I am ALWAYS at the computer. I figure if my choices are staring at FOX NEWS all day or doing something on the computer my Mac will always win ! He just doesn't get it.
From what I hear my youngest son is just like his father. JUST DOESN'T GET IT ! "Get What?" you may ask. IT ! Get that wife has not been put on this earth just to be at your beck and call. Wife is a thinking, (that is not a good thing in H's mind"), breathing being who has things that SHE wants and needs to do. Our lives are not devoted to just making you happy. HELL NO ! And when was the last time YOU did anything to try to make us happy. Things like take out the garbage, empty or fill the dish washer, make the bed, walk the dog, cook dinner and on and on it goes. Nope, they just don't get it!
I am supposed to be calmer these days thanks to my new out look on life, Serenity Prayer and all but sometimes I just want to forget the prayer asking God for serenity, courage and wisdom and just ask for a BIG FREAKING BASE BALL BAT to smash the living shit out of this man.
So how did I get here from having shower epiphanies to wanting to beat H to pieces? This is just the natural order of thought when I allow my fingers and brain to run free and think and write what ever comes to mind.
I guess I should have taken a shower before I started typing.
I have a problem with writing during the day. H is awake . . . and it is hard to write when some one is asking a bunch of really STUPID questions like, "what are you doing?". That is my all time favorite. I am sitting at the computer with a blank page in front of me typing like crazy. WHAT THE F--- DO YOU THINK I AM DOING ? I usually reply with some snarky remark like, "I'm baking a cake" or "I'm riding a bike". That only stops the questions for a minute or two. Then we get into the "What's for lunch" or "Are you going to eat soon?" which translates into FEED ME ! Sort of like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors. H has actually told me this evening that I am ALWAYS at the computer. I figure if my choices are staring at FOX NEWS all day or doing something on the computer my Mac will always win ! He just doesn't get it.
From what I hear my youngest son is just like his father. JUST DOESN'T GET IT ! "Get What?" you may ask. IT ! Get that wife has not been put on this earth just to be at your beck and call. Wife is a thinking, (that is not a good thing in H's mind"), breathing being who has things that SHE wants and needs to do. Our lives are not devoted to just making you happy. HELL NO ! And when was the last time YOU did anything to try to make us happy. Things like take out the garbage, empty or fill the dish washer, make the bed, walk the dog, cook dinner and on and on it goes. Nope, they just don't get it!
I am supposed to be calmer these days thanks to my new out look on life, Serenity Prayer and all but sometimes I just want to forget the prayer asking God for serenity, courage and wisdom and just ask for a BIG FREAKING BASE BALL BAT to smash the living shit out of this man.
So how did I get here from having shower epiphanies to wanting to beat H to pieces? This is just the natural order of thought when I allow my fingers and brain to run free and think and write what ever comes to mind.
I guess I should have taken a shower before I started typing.
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