@%#&%*$@?&%. I just got off the phone with Cousin Lu. God Bless her! God Help ME !!!!!
The Man and I have returned to Florida and 3 days in I am already wishing it was May so I could be on my way back to Michigan.
It is HOT here and too humid to go outside. That will change soon and it will be feeling more like the Florida I love.
I have a guest bedroom filled with bags that still need to be emptied of "stuff" that I brought back down with us. (I have no idea why I bring all this stuff.) All that crap needs to be put away. My condo is filled with teeny tiny dead bugs and dust so all that needs to be cleaned up. I have made 3 trips to the grocery store and I am still missing a bunch of things. (I make a list, shop from the list and when I get home I find there are ten additional things I forgot to put on the list.). There was a lizard in my shower tonight when I opened the shower door and I have cousin Lu asking me "When are you coming to see me?"
It is this last item that is making me crazy!
My cousin is the QUEEN of guilt. And she's not even Jewish or Irish. She tells me she loves where she is living BUT she still complains about EVERYTHING !! She says the people aren't friendly. I know why! All Cousin Lu talks about is herself so no one wants to listen to the same stories about how wonderful she is. The woman has been spoiled all her life and doesn't have a clue how to get along with people. And so she drives everyone away. Yet I keep coming back. Go figure.
Yesterday my phone rang at 9:00 in the morning. (I have been home 3 days) All summer I have talked to Lu on the phone and every time she asked a minimum of 10 times, "Are you home yet?" And every time I answered that I would be back in time for her birthday, which is October 17. (Her birthday is one of the few things Lu can remember because it is all about her. ). Using her birthday as a focus helped her remember when I would return to Florida. (She can't remember how old she is but she knows she has a birthday coming.) So yesterday when she asked if I was home yet I thought she would be happy to know I was finally in Florida. Silly me !!! No "Oh Good! How was your trip?" . . . That would have been too much for me to expect. Instead I got, "How long have you been home? Why haven't you come to see me?" I told her AGAIN I would see her for her birthday but that wasn't good enough. She used the excuse that she had some papers that I needed to look at RIGHT AWAY !!!! (How I could have done that from Michigan I have no idea but because I was now in Florida I HAD to come right away. I told her I would come by "tomorrow" and we could go through everything then.
And this is where I needed Divine Intervention to keep me from ever seeing this woman again.
"What day is tomorrow?" says Lu. I tell her tomorrow is Thursday. "What day is today?' says cousin Lu. I tell her it is Wednesday, She then asks if I am coming to see her on Wednesday? I tell her "No, I will see you on Thursday" "Oh" says Lu, "Today is Thursday", I tell her NO, I will come TOMORROW, on THURSDAY!" . She says, "OH, today is Thursday?" I respond, "No, today is Wednesday, tomorrow is Thursday". Lu says, "OK, I'll see you on Wednesday" . . . and on and on it went from there. (Reminiscent of "Who's on First" by Abbott and Costello. ) I finally told her I would see here after she had breakfast tomorrow, something she could understand.
Today I went to visit Cousin Lu. I opened her door and she said, "Oh my, you are finally home ! I though you weren't coming home until Wednesday." It continued on down hill from there.
