BE SURE TO TAKE THE "HUMMOCK" TRAIL

The weather was perfect today,  blue sky, light breeze, balmy temperatures. The only thing to do on a day like this is to take a ride down to Everglades National Park and go on a tour to see some alligators. Shark Valley is the North entrance to this park and the only part of the park that offers a two hour tram tour out into the "Ocean Of Grass" that makes up this most unusual part of Florida. Having guests here from Michigan who have never experienced this classic Florida treat sealed the deal so at nine this morning we packed ourselves into D's car and started the two hour drive south. It's a long ride to look at grass but such a unique experience you just HAVE to do it.

We arrived at Shark Valley just before 11:00, jumped out of the car to buy our tickets for the 11:00 tour, made a quick pit stop and climbed on board the open sided tram that would take us on a big loop around the area.  You are almost always guaranteed to see TONS of alligators up close and personal. We had barely left the parking lot when the guide pointed out 11 baby alligators swimming around in a small pool of water not 5 feet from our tram. The tram stopped for a good look, an opportunity to take pictures and the beginning of a running commentary on the ecology of the Everglades. As you ride along at about 5 miles an hour there are lots and lots of birds and alligators of all sizes and shapes sitting in the water on either side of the road. You are constantly spinning in your seat to see all the creatures being pointed out by the guide who is sitting in the front of the tram next to the driver. This continues for about an hour until the tram reaches the mid point of "The Loop". At this point the driver pulls the tram off the road and every one disembarks to make a pee stop and/or climb the winding spiral ramp to the observation tower that stands at about 50 feet above the ground. From this vantage point the tourist is rewarded with a panoramic view of . . . grass. There is basically NOTHING to see for miles and miles and so for this very reason I made the decision to NOT climb the tower ramp but instead take a walk down the "Hummock Trail".

I have taken this Everglades tour many times before and each time I always climb the tower so when the tour guide said, "Be SURE to take a walk down the Hummock Trail" I decided that is exactly what I would do.

I sent Dale and Rhonda, (our Michigan guests) off toward the bathrooms and the tower climb and I took a left turn off into the canopy of trees that make up the hummock. (A hummock, for those of you who have never been fortunate enough to experience a walk on one, is a raised mound of land standing alone in a flat area. In the case of the Everglades these small islands rise about one foot above the swamp and become a garden for small trees and bushes.)

Now let me stop and tell you that I WAS listening to the tour guide as we drove along heading for the observation tower. She enlightened us all to the eco system of the hummock. She informed us that these areas become a habitat for creatures that live in the Everglades. And then in the VERY next breath she told us to BE SURE to take a walk down a trail that wound around a hummock just below the observation tower. Because I never knew this little trail was there I decided it would be fun to check it out. I told Dale where I was headed and stepped off the sidewalk into the shadowed damp world of . . .  THE hummock. I took about 5 steps in and heard the voice in my head saying," THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!".  I hesitated for a moment thinking about the fact that I was alone on a hill of dirt in the middle of alligator infested water but then decided I needed to push myself "outside the box" and do something that I really was not comfortable with. The trail was narrow and dark with sunlight peeking through the canopy of trees. It was QUIET and really quite beautiful but the water on both sides of the path was a little disconcerting. I heard small splashes here and there and told myself it was probably just turtles because they were small splashes.  I walked about 50 feet in and came to a small wooden bridge crossing the shallow water. I could see fish in the water but no sign of gators. I continued on a little ways and then decided I needed to turn around and head back out to civilization. As I walked back across the bridge I noticed a LARGE DARK SHAPE laying across the path up ahead totally blocking my way off the island.  It was a Freaking BIG alligator that had climbed up onto the trail to lay in a small patch of sunlight. My "road block ' was probably about 10 feet long and a lot bigger than anything I ever wanted to be that close to.  I stood there about 15 feet away from it trying to decide what the hell I was going to do. I found a stick that I banged on the trees around me and started yelling at the beast . . . NOTHING !  The damn thing didn't even blink !  I tried to find some rocks to throw at it but there are no rocks in a swamp. I luckily had my phone with me so I tried calling Dwayne who had stayed on the tram. NO SIGNAL !  (I'm in a freaking swamp!) I moved back to the little bridge and tried again and thankfully got through. The man answered and his first question was, "What do you want me to do?" quickly followed by, "Why did you go in there alone?". Both questions were extremely good ones but not exactly what I wanted to hear at that particular moment. (These comments coming from my "macho" man who has hunted bear in Alaska made me really wonder if all men are morons.)  Just at that moment I heard Dale's voice coming from the path on the other side of the alligator.    THANK GOD !!!!!!  Dale could see the alligator and once we both stoped laughing he told me he had sent his wife off to get one of the rangers to rescue me. Dale and I stood on the trail shouting back and forth while he took some good pictures of the alligator with me in the back ground.  A few minutes later I saw my rescuer Jose, (our tram driver) coming down the trail with a large tree branch in his hand. As he got closer I wondered just what he was going to do with that branch . . . smack the gator in the head? . . . throw it at the gator? . . . OR  (much to my amazement)  he bent down and banged the branch on the ground several times and the monster gator spun around in its spot and slid into the water. Apparently alligators have lousy hearing and sight but they feel vibrations through the ground so by smacking the earth the alligator knew someone was near.

Did I run into Jose's arms and hug him till he couldn't breathe ?  Nah . . . I was cool and calm and just thanked him profusely. He did make me feel better by telling me I was not the first person to find themselves held hostage by an alligator. He also told me I was lucky he was the driver that day because some of his co-workers would NOT have been brave enough to do what he did.

Jose got a VERY big tip at the end of the tour !!

MOUNT VESUVIUS

These past few weeks I have been thinking of several different blogs to write. I have been composing them in my head at night as I wait for sleep but I just haven't gotten around to taking the time to sit down and commit them to "paper".  I had good intentions of writing one earlier today but since I am having a colonoscopy/endoscopy tomorrow I have been a little busy running the Hundred Yard Dash. (I think if Olympic athletes had to do the prep for colonoscopy just before their races they would probably break all sorts of records.)

 Although the preparation for these tests has vastly improved over the years it still all comes down to the need to empty your body of EVERYTHING so the doctor can see inside your intestines. To do this you are required to begin your "prep" 3 days before the actual test. I personally start a week ahead by eating everything in sight because I know that in 4 days I will have stop eating solid food and in 6 days I will be drinking the equivalent of Lake Superior in order to flush out everything that I have eaten for the past 5 years. The night before a colonoscopy is a brutal and cruel evening that requires the stamina of a water buffalo and the speed of a gazelle. For the entire day before this test you are required to abstain from solid food and consume only clear fluids. By the time 6 PM rolls around you are weak from hunger and eager for this ordeal to be done. BUT it only gets better. At 6:00 you get to start drinking 64 ounces of Gatorade into which an entire bottle of Miralax has been dissolved. Now the fun really begins ! I don't mind Gatorade at all but having to drink 8 ounces every half hour for four hours is not an easy task. Because there is no food in my stomach the gatorade hits like a tsunami in the Philippines and for the next 4 hours the volcano erupts with little or no warning. It is at this point that you move the TV into the bathroom along with your pillow and blanket because you are NOT leaving this room any time soon.

You also need to know that the doctor has failed to tell you in his pre-op instructions that you will need to purchase a few additional things ahead of time besides nasty stuff you are drinking. It is of major importance to be prepared for the eruption because once it starts you better have everything you need within arms reach.  Some helpful items are: 12 rolls of toilet paper, a large economy size package of baby wipes, (preferably the ones that contain soothing lotion), a vat of Vaseline or my personal preference, Bacitracin, to help put out any "friction" fires and last but not least . . .a pair of roller blades to get you to the bathroom in record time.  Also, if you happen to live with someone it  helps to yell, "Out of my way I'm about to BLOW" each time you make that mad dash to the toilet. This keeps any un suspecting persons from getting mowed down in your flight path.

At this point I am trying to focus on the wonderful hour sleep I will get tomorrow while the doctor goes spelunking in my intestines. Add to that the whole afternoon of R&R that you are told to do after the procedure. NO one has to tell me twice to go home and rest . . . I will be so exhausted from running tonights marathon I'll be ready to rest for the remainder of the week.

Kidding aside I do thank God we have these nasty tests because my mom died from Colon Cancer and if putting up with 12 hours of discomfort will keep me healthy I'll do this as often as my doctor says.       Bottoms up !

THE " G G G "

I am a Baby Boomer . . . and proud of it.  I have survived all these years and hopefully have gained some wisdom along with the way.  Being a "BB" I have had the opportunity to co-habitate with the three generations following mine.  The Baby Boomers, (1946-1964) made way for  "Generation X", (1965-1980)  who then handed the reins over to the "Millennials", (1981-1996)  who have managed to stop looking at their cell phones long enough to produce "Generation Z", (1997-present day).  Only God knows what will evolve from that generation but I sure hope it gets better rather than worse.

These broad categories of a whole groups of people really doesn't do justice to the people born during those particular periods of time.  I don't think a 1946 Baby Boomer is the same as a person born in 1964.  It was the boomers of the 40's who made the 60's what they were. (And if you can remember the 60's then you probably weren't there.) I think we need to break down these 20 year generational groupings into sub-categories.  I have no idea how to break down the Baby Boomers and it probably wouldn't matter now any way because half of us can't remember what we had for breakfast never mind our joyful youth. If we had anything to contribute to society it has been pretty much been done and all we are now interested in is retiring to Florida and getting to dinner in time for the Early Bird Special so we can be asleep by eight.  

Generation X on the other hand is the group who are the movers and the shakers in our world right now.  They are the forty somethings who have had enough life experience to know what they do and do not want to accomplish and they are fully vested in reaching their goals.  There is a segment of this generation that I think needs to be singled out. I would like to call the "GGG"  or the GENTLE GIANT GENERATION.
This generation includes my two son's, my daughter, my son-in-law and my daughter-in-law.
These wonderful people are the smartest, kindest, most accomplished group of human beings that I have ever known.  There is not a mean bone in any of them. They share their lives with those less fortunate than themselves, they are in tune with the feelings of the people around them and they are the most patient and loving parents imaginable.  Each of them excels at their chosen professions yet manages to keep their family as their main focus in life.  As a result the GGG is producing some pretty awesome children who hopefully will follow in their parents footsteps and keep the same values in life. And they are not alone. My three VERY best friends all have children who definitely fall into the GGG category.  They all continue amaze and delight their parents with what they are capable of doing and being.

Of course each generation thinks it is the best and can not believe the world will be continue to exist if it is being run by these "kids" who growing up after us.  No one could possibly be as smart as we are especially when the youngsters never listen to the "wonderful" advice we are so willing to impart.
My parents thought my generation was going to be the down fall of man kind, (especially when most of us were high on pot or worse while partying at Woodstock). I guess they had valid concerns but in spite of our short comings here we are at 2020 and the world is still here.

Kudos to my fantastic family and their friends. Keep up the GREAT work you are doing in shaping the world and the future generations and don't despair when you are over worked, under paid, under appreciated and exhausted. Speaking from experience "This too shall pass" and all to soon you will find yourselves sitting on the beach in God's Waiting Room, (Florida), sipping your rum and coke and wondering what will become of the world as you look around at the kids growing up around you.

DE - LIGHTED

Christmas is over . . .  That's always bittersweet to me because I love all the preparation and excitement in December building up to Christmas Day. Shopping, baking, wrapping, planing party menus, gathering with friends and even cleaning the house in anticipation of the Big Day.  Christmas morning arrives with all its joy but by Christmas evening it seems like someone has stuck a pin in a balloon and I start to deflate until I am left lying in a pile of torn wrapping paper and dirty dishes. We have the week between Christmas and New Years to slowly sink back down from our Holiday High and by this weekend after New Years life has pretty much returned to normal . . .  what ever that may be.  Little Christmas, January 6th is tomorrow which means the three wise men have arrived at the manger in Bethlehem and Christmas is officially over.

But wait . . . there is a tree in my living room, Christmas decorations are still strewn about my house and there's a boat load of Christmas cookies sitting on the kitchen counter calling my name.  Christmas is still in attendance big time at my house even though the month of January is full swing and the year has some how become 2020. My brain is done with Christmas but I can't rest until all the decorations are put away and the cookies are eaten.  (I'm having a lot easier time getting rid of the cookies than I am getting rid of the decorations.)

And so this weekend I took a deep breath and started putting Christmas to rest for another year.  This is one of the times that I really LOVE living in a condo. There are a lot less decorations to put away than when I owned a house.  But even still it took all weekend to erase the evidence of the holiday.  I put the last box of decorations into the shed at four this afternoon and by five I had found three things I had missed. Oh Well . . .   that's what closets are for.  The BIG accomplishment of the weekend was the dismantling of the Christmas tree.  Let me say that I do NOT have a full size tree nor is it a real tree. The days of buying a real tree each year just so it could die a slow and painful death in my living room are long gone. Once I moved into a condo the full size tree also became a thing of the past. Condo's are not conducive to LARGE trees sitting in the middle of the room. With that thought in mind I purchased a lovely little 3 foot tree three years ago when I became a condo dweller.  The tree is the perfect size and it came with lights already on it. All I have to do is connect the top to the bottom, plug it in and I have an instant Christmas tree to stand on the living room cabinet. It looks perfect and I have been super happy with it until . . . we plugged it in and NOTHING happened.  What happened to the lights ????????  We checked the plugs, checked the connection, checked as many of the bulbs as we could find and yet nothing happened. My tree was as dark as the inside of the plastic bag I store it in.  Now I don't know about you but to me a Christmas tree HAS to have lights.  I can leave all the ornaments off of it just as long as it has lights.

Luckily I just happened to have a box of tiny colored lights that I had bought the end of last year "just in case". But in our infinite wisdom D and I made an executive decision to take the old set of lights off the tree before adding the new ones. Trouble is the old set that came with the tree were apparently welded on to the branches because we could NOT get those buggers off. And so for what ever reason we decided to CUT the wires of the old lights to try to get as many of them off as possible. Thinking back on it we could/should have left the old lights alone and just added the new set, no one would be the wiser. But cut we did and all was well with the world.

UNTIL . . .  today I was putting the tree away and there were all sorts of pieces of wire hanging off branches so I decided to take the time to get all that old stuff out so we could start fresh next year. Little did I know what a chore that would become. The set of lights were attached to the branches with plastic clips that I had to bend to get open in order to get the wires off the branches. It took me over an hour to DE - LIGHT the tree. I am delighted that it is done because my type "A" personality would not rest knowing there were random wires hanging on my tree. The fact that no one would be able to see them and they were in no way interfering with the ornaments or new set of lights did not matter. I KNEW they were there and would not rest until I had cleaned them off.

And so my tree is de - lighted and I am delighted and all is well with the world until next year when I will have to buy a larger set of lights because the small string I have just isn't enough.