You know that old saying, "We plan, God laughs" ? Well once again I am living proof that I am not in control of my life in any way shape or form. The fact that Kent and Kristen ended up with TWO babies instead of just the one that they had planned on should have reminded me it is futile to make any sort of plans.
By the way, those two babies are just the most adorable things ever! Wynn may be joining his sister at home tomorrow or the next day which should help mom and dad get some rest. Running back and forth to the hospital for feedings is getting old.
But, back to the problem of planning ANYTHING these days. Ger has been doing great so naturally I start thinking we can soon return to "The good old days" of traveling here there and where ever. HA!
Just today Ger and I were having breakfast and I asked him if he thought he would be up to taking a cruise. I started thinking abut a two day, one night cruise to the Bahamas right from West Palm Beach. It's not that expensive and it wouldn't be too taxing on Ger. but as is my way my brain continued to think and by the time we had returned home from breakfast I had my head wrapped around a ten day/two week cruise to the Panama Canal. After all, cruising is so simple, just get on the ship, sit around eating and drinking and see the sights that sail by. PIECE OF CAKE !
Then God hit me up side my head ! He sent Ger an awful rash on his upper leg and even had it bleed a bit so that Ger would notice it and get scared enough to tell me about it. I took one look at this rash and kissed all thoughts of travel GOOD BYE !
This was my reminder that even though husband appears to be OK he is NOT ! I don't think the man has ever looked at himself in the mirror except to shave his face. HOW ???? He could not have noticed this rash is way beyond me. His skin is raw as chop meat and is oozing. Yet he did not know this was there. I am beyond belief that he can be soooooooooo unaware of his own skin. How DOES that happen?
So not only will we not be traveling, because I just never know when something will pop up but I also have lost my one day this week to sleep in. I had plans of covering my head tomorrow morning and not letting the world any where near me till at least noon .
I'll be up at 8 to call for a doctor appointment for Ger. I better call my therapist too.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
SORRY !
Not really, but I did totally have a major melt down and bad as it was I really should not have . . .
What the hell . . . Guess my alter ego just isn't that nice after all. You know that old lady in the nursing home that everyone hates because she curses out everyone . . . Guess who !
Sanity has returned in the form of a three year old , THANK YOU GOD FOR GRAND KIDS!
As you all know by now Smith is a Big Brother as of last Saturday night. His brother, Wynn Callaghan, arrived around 10:30 PM. followed shortly by their sister, Grey Catherine. Babies are a good size but experiencing a bunch of little problems which is keeping them in the NIC unit while mom came home today. Smith was in charge of grand ma and grand pa for the past 4 days and doing an excellent job of keeping us in line. Aside from the forty two excuses for not going to sleep he is the PERFECT little man. Smith is so smart and grown up it is so much fun spending time with him. Smith and his dad had off from school this week for Spring Break so that was the "theme" for our fun times. Smith learned early something my kids didn't discover till they went away to college . . . .SPRING BREAK IS ABOUT GOING AWAY AND HAVING SOME FUN ! Grand ma's house served as party central for Spring Break 2014 complete with drinks in the pool. (Capri Sun counts!)
We played, swam, spent 5 1/2 hours at a "bounce play" place and laughed ourselves silly. There were cupcakes for breakfast and hot dogs &pizza for dinner. Never mind the 4 day marathon of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movie. Smith's sister and brother gave him a bag of goodies, one being an endless DVD of the Ninja Turtles. I was never a fan of these ridiculously ugly creatures but I must say after about the forty fifth time of watching the first three episodes they sort of grow on you. (Every time we sat down to watch the video we HAD to start it from the beginning. I can actually recite the first 15 minutes word for word. But the worst is that I can't get that silly theme song out of my head!)
Smith is now back in his house and grand pa and I are suddenly realizing how quiet our house really is. Which is a very good thing because I plan on sleeping for the next 48 hours. If I don't snore I doubt the bug man will even realize I am still in the bed when he comes by for our monthly spraying.
I am also looking forward to returning to eating healthier. I can't tell you the last time I used my juicer.
What the hell . . . Guess my alter ego just isn't that nice after all. You know that old lady in the nursing home that everyone hates because she curses out everyone . . . Guess who !
Sanity has returned in the form of a three year old , THANK YOU GOD FOR GRAND KIDS!
As you all know by now Smith is a Big Brother as of last Saturday night. His brother, Wynn Callaghan, arrived around 10:30 PM. followed shortly by their sister, Grey Catherine. Babies are a good size but experiencing a bunch of little problems which is keeping them in the NIC unit while mom came home today. Smith was in charge of grand ma and grand pa for the past 4 days and doing an excellent job of keeping us in line. Aside from the forty two excuses for not going to sleep he is the PERFECT little man. Smith is so smart and grown up it is so much fun spending time with him. Smith and his dad had off from school this week for Spring Break so that was the "theme" for our fun times. Smith learned early something my kids didn't discover till they went away to college . . . .SPRING BREAK IS ABOUT GOING AWAY AND HAVING SOME FUN ! Grand ma's house served as party central for Spring Break 2014 complete with drinks in the pool. (Capri Sun counts!)
We played, swam, spent 5 1/2 hours at a "bounce play" place and laughed ourselves silly. There were cupcakes for breakfast and hot dogs &pizza for dinner. Never mind the 4 day marathon of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movie. Smith's sister and brother gave him a bag of goodies, one being an endless DVD of the Ninja Turtles. I was never a fan of these ridiculously ugly creatures but I must say after about the forty fifth time of watching the first three episodes they sort of grow on you. (Every time we sat down to watch the video we HAD to start it from the beginning. I can actually recite the first 15 minutes word for word. But the worst is that I can't get that silly theme song out of my head!)
Smith is now back in his house and grand pa and I are suddenly realizing how quiet our house really is. Which is a very good thing because I plan on sleeping for the next 48 hours. If I don't snore I doubt the bug man will even realize I am still in the bed when he comes by for our monthly spraying.
I am also looking forward to returning to eating healthier. I can't tell you the last time I used my juicer.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
FUCK A FUCKING DUCK
Can I say that on the Internet? Who gives a shit, I'm saying it and I mean it !
This blog is to be read rapidly and insanely because that is how it is being written.
Backing up, I went to the cardiologist AGAIN today to talk with him about something he said last week when I was there for my semi annual visit. His report was good for my echo cardiogram but when he looked at my EKG he said it was "normal" for me but if someone were to look at it they would ask me if I had had a heart attack. Apparently my EKG is that of someone who has had a heart attack. I didn't think much of that when I was at the doctor but over the weekend it has played with my head and by Saturday morning at 5 AM I was deciding that I was HAVING a heart attack. (But did nothing about it except have a MAJOR MAJOR meltdown later in the day because my blender broke. Cried for an hour and slept for 2. Nothing wrong here folks!)
So now I am totally and completely convinced that I am on deaths door and although I would welcome death I still don't want to die. (Makes all the sense in the world . . . I know . . . ) Monday I go to see a new therapist, HALLELUJAH LORD ! She confirms that I am indeed crazy and need to come back often and soon. (Appointment next week) I confirm that I probably did not have a heart attack but need to talk with my doctor to ask just what he meant when he discussed my EKG last week.
THEN I WENT SHOPPING ! I figured if I was going to die I would go out enjoying myself. Even though Sams Club is NOT really that much fun I did kill 2 hours and a bunch of money. The kids clothes gets me every time and with twins on the way any week now I'm buying diapers by the truck load. Those damn things cost a fortune. It's paper and plastic that is going to get filled with pee and poop but they cost more than a new car. (Which by the way I am loving my "NEW" car. It may only be a Toyota Rav 4 but to me it is better than a Rolls Royce. And prettier too!)
Today I went back to the cardiologist and he put my mind at ease although we decided to have a stress test done next week just to make sure the old ticker isn't playing tricks on me. This doctor is adorable and I love going to see him. My brain felt better even if my body doesn't. I think maybe STRESS is at the bottom of my feeling like crap but why ever would I have reason to feel stressed!
PAUSE FOR 20 MINUTES OF MANIACAL LAUGHTER . . . . . .
Back to reality, I brought H with me to the doctor today. I was feeling kindly to the old boy after seeing the shrink yesterday so I invited H to come along and then we would go out to lunch. (Something we haven't done in a long while. Like writing my blog.) After lunch we stopped at Walmart to purchase a new blender to replace the one that I smashed to pieces after it refused to work on Saturday. (Never never get on my dark side. It is not a nice place to be. RIP blender). We then returned home and I changed into my gardening clothes and went out front to work on some plants. This is the first time in many many months that I have had the desire to do ANYTHING. I have been frozen in time and unable to function except to do what needs to be done. I am at the point of having NO clean underwear because I haven't done laundry. The fridge is a mess with old food. The sink is filled with dirty dishes, there are all the things I bought at Sam's Club sitting in the kitchen and dining room, the lanai has not been swept or washed off in weeks, counter tops are filled to overflowing with papers and crap, bills are piled on my desk waiting to be paid and I CAN NOT get myself moving to do any of it. So tonight when I was feeling a sense of ambition I couldn't wait to get outside to garden.
I had asked Ger to do a few things for me but none of them had gotten done. What's new? Out I went and happy was I. I ripped up an entire garbage can of plants. I cut and pulled and got out the saw and took down some major shit. IT FELT GOOD ! Then H came out and it all came crashing down.
No reason for me to crash, the man just walked out to see what I was doing. Then some new neighbors came along and we talked. I invited them in to see our house. I INVITED THEM IN TO SEE OUR HOUSE !!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING ????????
I gave them the speech about just coming back from Sam's Club so excuse the mess . . . . . HA HA HA HA HA HA HA They were very polite but left rather quickly and I don't think we will EVER see them again. My house is a WRECK. AND I DIDN'T CARE !!
GOD ALMIGHTY I NEED HELP !
This blog is to be read rapidly and insanely because that is how it is being written.
Backing up, I went to the cardiologist AGAIN today to talk with him about something he said last week when I was there for my semi annual visit. His report was good for my echo cardiogram but when he looked at my EKG he said it was "normal" for me but if someone were to look at it they would ask me if I had had a heart attack. Apparently my EKG is that of someone who has had a heart attack. I didn't think much of that when I was at the doctor but over the weekend it has played with my head and by Saturday morning at 5 AM I was deciding that I was HAVING a heart attack. (But did nothing about it except have a MAJOR MAJOR meltdown later in the day because my blender broke. Cried for an hour and slept for 2. Nothing wrong here folks!)
So now I am totally and completely convinced that I am on deaths door and although I would welcome death I still don't want to die. (Makes all the sense in the world . . . I know . . . ) Monday I go to see a new therapist, HALLELUJAH LORD ! She confirms that I am indeed crazy and need to come back often and soon. (Appointment next week) I confirm that I probably did not have a heart attack but need to talk with my doctor to ask just what he meant when he discussed my EKG last week.
THEN I WENT SHOPPING ! I figured if I was going to die I would go out enjoying myself. Even though Sams Club is NOT really that much fun I did kill 2 hours and a bunch of money. The kids clothes gets me every time and with twins on the way any week now I'm buying diapers by the truck load. Those damn things cost a fortune. It's paper and plastic that is going to get filled with pee and poop but they cost more than a new car. (Which by the way I am loving my "NEW" car. It may only be a Toyota Rav 4 but to me it is better than a Rolls Royce. And prettier too!)
Today I went back to the cardiologist and he put my mind at ease although we decided to have a stress test done next week just to make sure the old ticker isn't playing tricks on me. This doctor is adorable and I love going to see him. My brain felt better even if my body doesn't. I think maybe STRESS is at the bottom of my feeling like crap but why ever would I have reason to feel stressed!
PAUSE FOR 20 MINUTES OF MANIACAL LAUGHTER . . . . . .
Back to reality, I brought H with me to the doctor today. I was feeling kindly to the old boy after seeing the shrink yesterday so I invited H to come along and then we would go out to lunch. (Something we haven't done in a long while. Like writing my blog.) After lunch we stopped at Walmart to purchase a new blender to replace the one that I smashed to pieces after it refused to work on Saturday. (Never never get on my dark side. It is not a nice place to be. RIP blender). We then returned home and I changed into my gardening clothes and went out front to work on some plants. This is the first time in many many months that I have had the desire to do ANYTHING. I have been frozen in time and unable to function except to do what needs to be done. I am at the point of having NO clean underwear because I haven't done laundry. The fridge is a mess with old food. The sink is filled with dirty dishes, there are all the things I bought at Sam's Club sitting in the kitchen and dining room, the lanai has not been swept or washed off in weeks, counter tops are filled to overflowing with papers and crap, bills are piled on my desk waiting to be paid and I CAN NOT get myself moving to do any of it. So tonight when I was feeling a sense of ambition I couldn't wait to get outside to garden.
I had asked Ger to do a few things for me but none of them had gotten done. What's new? Out I went and happy was I. I ripped up an entire garbage can of plants. I cut and pulled and got out the saw and took down some major shit. IT FELT GOOD ! Then H came out and it all came crashing down.
No reason for me to crash, the man just walked out to see what I was doing. Then some new neighbors came along and we talked. I invited them in to see our house. I INVITED THEM IN TO SEE OUR HOUSE !!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING ????????
I gave them the speech about just coming back from Sam's Club so excuse the mess . . . . . HA HA HA HA HA HA HA They were very polite but left rather quickly and I don't think we will EVER see them again. My house is a WRECK. AND I DIDN'T CARE !!
GOD ALMIGHTY I NEED HELP !
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