MORE ADVENTURES WITH CHEMO BRAIN

I started this blog over a month ago.  As you can see, things are just the same now !

I am sitting here in the waiting room of the cancer doc's building waiting for Ger to have is tri-monthly CT/PET scan.  The man is a mess!  He can not keep dates or times straight in his head and insists on arguing with me when he asks for the date or time of some appointment.  Today's test was at 9:30 AM.  it took about 12 times of asking for the date and time before I thought he had it. WRONG!  At 7:30 this morning G was jumping out of bed. I quietly told him he had another hour to sleep but he insisted he had to get up together ready to go for the CT scan.  Perhaps I should have let him get up an hour early because maybe then he would have gotten his shirt on right side out. I just looked at him as he was going in for the test and realized the shirt is inside out. Never mind the fact that it is the shirt that he slept in.

CHEMO BRAIN       OR     JUST GER       ?          It is hard to tell the difference these days !  I'm not saying H was ever the sharpest pencil in the box but he really is unbelievable these days.

Take tonight for example.  H has asked me several times if I changed the bulb in the light on his side of the bed.   I have told him I have not.     The lamp has a 3 way bulb.  2 of the settings have blown out but the bulb will eventually light if you just keep turning the switch.  Because H turns the switch twice after he turns the light off it now lights as soon a he goes to turn it back on.  So he thinks I fixed it. Tonight he asked me AGAIN if I had changed the bulb. When I told him NO for the fortieth time he decided the cleaning girls must have changed it. (Since they come in the day time and have no reason to turn the light on, thus no way of knowing the lamp doesn't work. Why would they change the bulb? AND more to the point, where would they have gotten a 3 way bulb?  I don't think they carry one around in their cleaning supplies and I know they didn't ask me for one.)

He is also not the brightest bulb in the box!

ANGER EATING

I know why I eat as much as I do. Every time I take a bite it is like smashing H in the head with a frying pan.  The man is driving me nuts once again and I want to find my fluffy pink cloud where nothing he did or said bothered me.
The fluffy pink cloud has turned into a massive HUGE storm cloud that is black as night and spitting lightening. I am going to need to do some serious meditating to get back to my "happy place" without eating everything in the house and then some.
H has been pushing my buttons for a while now and the constant contact is wearing thin.  That hour, three times a week, when H goes to physical therapy just isn't doing anything for me. A friend suggested I send him away for a month to a spa where he would be pampered, fed and given exercise. I told them he got that right here so why bother spending money. And besides, he wouldn't want to go alone! That is the bottom line . . . A L O N E is not in H's vocabulary.  He needs to be with me every second of every minute of every hour of every day.  I am going NUTS !
Do you think you have heard this story before?  It is the same old same old that I whine about all the time.  Just haven't found an answer to it yet.
Our challenge of food for H is continuing to plague me. Tonight we were emptying out the fridge in order to make some room for the weekend. I told H yesterday that tonight was going to be "Left over" night. When I had taken all the containers of left overs out of the fridge tonight the Idiot had the nerve to ask me to cook a hot dog for him.  Hot dogs were not on the menu but Mr. Pissy Pants didn't like swordfish, (he at a huge piece on Wednesday and liked it then), he didn't want pasta and meat sauce AGAIN, (had that for dinner last Monday) and he didn't want some home made soup that he loved last Tuesday!  I wanted to feed him rat poison at that point but instead I cooked 2 hot dogs. Do Hot Dogs have an ounce of nutritional value?????  Not that I know of. But at this point he can shove anything down his throat and I don't give a flying F____ !
I think I am more pissed at myself for letting this man bug me so much. And I do DO all these stupid things to keep him needy. What was I thinking !!
Today I was giving serious thought to ASSISTED LIVING.  Am I too young to sell the house and move into some shit hole just so I don't have to cook, clean, shop, make beds and care for this baby I married?

I'M STILL HERE

Just checking in to let you know I am alive and well.  Seems that time is flying and I don't know where to find time to say hello.  I"m doing a lot more things on my own these days and just can't find time to write to all of you.

Ger went for PET scan #5 today.  Don't expect any surprises. It's just part of his maintenance. I think his brain is still in there, although the PET scan won't show any of that empty space.  The man is getting spacier by the day.  Physical therapy has been doing him a lot of good.  He no longer falls over when getting out of the chair and can now sort of walk in a straight line. It had been pretty interesting before, I just never knew where he would end up when he got up out of his chair.
Eating is still an issue with Husband Dear.  He just will not eat anything healthy. So I have resorted to sneaking supplements into his food to try and give him some nutrients. That's not working because they tend to have some fiber to them and he complains that it is like drinking/eating sand. (This is the man who would eat sand if I poured chocolate syrup on it.) Not any more. Now Mr. Picky Pants won't eat anything that contains vitamins or minerals. Hamburgers, french fries and grill cheese are about the most I can get him to ingest. God forbid a piece of fruit enters his world. That is like feeding Ham to a Jewish person.
So I have been spending much of my time back and forth to the health food stores and grocery stores. I have been introduced to Hemp Protein, (Ger won't eat it), Maca powder, (Ger is eating and drinking this because he doesn't know it is there.), and all sorts of interesting vegetables that I never thought would enter my kitchen. Do you know how NASTY kale really is ? Grind it up in a juice with other good stuff and it's not bad. I tried putting some in my salad tonight and thought I had bitten down on a rag soaked in kerosene. Yuck !  The leaves aren't too bad but don't bite the stems. They are NASTY!  Good thing I didn't try putting any of that in Ger's salad.
I''ve taken a few days off from juicing in order to give my stomach and intestines a rest. I am taking out stock in the Scott toilet paper company because I am one of their very best costumers these days.
Between researching recipes for Ger and for Juices I am on the computer half the day.

But I am alive and I will try to get back here a little more often than I have been.
See you soon.

FEELING LIKE RIP VAN WINKLE

I feel like I have fallen asleep and awakened to find my life fast forwarded a bunch of years.  I got a picture today of my little grand daughter Kaelin sitting at her table in her new kindergarten class room. It was MEET AND GREET day at her new school. There she sat, all grown up, looking just like those little people I taught all those millions of years ago. Wasn't Kaelin just born last year? Apparently not! Some how she is five and ready to go to school.

What is happening that time is flashing by so quickly? I know I could sleep my life away but lately I have been up and out earlier and that just seems to be making time go even faster.  It seems like only yesterday I was searching on line to find the Beatles song, "When I'm 64" so I could down load it as my ring tone. Flash forward 4 years and all of a sudden I am 68. I don't think there is a song for that, although I'm sure some of you will come up with some choice selections.

What I'm saying is, time is speeding up.  My years on this earth seemed to drag when I was a child and now I can't keep up with them.  I don't want to take time to watch TV because there isn't enough time. Unless it is to take time to catch up on all those cable shows that I missed while they were on TV. Now with Netflix streaming I have discovered I can catch up on entire seasons in just a matter of hours. Which reminds me, have any of you caught the show, "Orange Is The New Black"?  I had read about it in the paper but never could wrestle the clicker away from H long enough to watch it while it was running in season. Early this week I took some time off and escaped to the bedroom and the computer to see what I could find. Sure enough, there it was, all 13 episodes of season 1.  I have been escaping into the bedroom every chance I got this week and watched the last episode this afternoon. (That's the great thing about retirement and a husband who is glued to Fox News. NO one misses you as long as it isn't meal time.)  So I watched "Orange" and can not wait till 2014 when the next season starts.  NO wonder my life is flashing by, I keep looking forward to next year to watch different shows.

Does anyone know when "Game of Thrones" new season starts?

JUICERS NEED TO COME WITH WARNINGS

HELLOOOOOOOoooooo . . . .   Some where in all the twelve thousand books and recipes for juicing 8 really think it would have been very nice if SOMEONE had taken the time to mention that if you juice beets YOU ARE GOING TO PEE RED !  I thought I had ruptured my spleen or something. Like, maybe a foot note, or a little note in the margin or SOMETHING saying that if you drink fresh beet juice your pee WILL turn red! And not just a mild shade of pink either. We are talking R E D !

My new juicer arrived today and I was excited ! It got here early this morning so breakfast was going to be a big juicy concoction of beets, celery, carrots and apples.  I opened the shipping box and inside was a beautifully gift wrapped package. With a card! HUH? Maybe it's not my juicer. Maybe they shipped me the wrong package. Only one way to find out. Ripping it open while wondering if there was a bride to be somewhere waiting for a gift really didn't make me stop. Sure enough, it was the juicer I had ordered and all the gift card said was, "congratulations".  So I guess somewhere along the way of the ordering I must have checked the box saying this was a gift. O.K. so now I know this is mine I am ready to go. I unpacked the whole thing and I must say it is a work of art. This thing is beautiful! I took it all apart, washed all the pieces and reassembled it with no spare parts left over. Now I am ready to create a fabulous drink. I scrubbed the beets, cut off their tops and bottoms and put hem in "THE CHUTE" . In seconds red juice was splashing out into the pitcher. WOW ! So simple, so fast , I'm on a roll. In went the carrots and apple, a splash of lemon juice and I am ready to feast.

BLAUGH!   It was like drinking dirt . . .  Red dirt, but still dirt.  Maybe I shouldn't have added those green leaves from the beets. But I read somewhere you should do just that.  Maybe it needs more lemon juice?  Maybe it needs fresh ginger? Since I didn't have either of those things I added some club soda which did make it possible to drink but it sure didn't taste like I had hoped.

I think I need to do a little more research and go shopping for a few more ingredients.  I also need to cancel that doctors appointment to check on my bladder and kidneys. It WAS just the beet juice after all.

GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS

I am pretty sure that there is no record of men being beaten to death with pedometers so I plan on being the first. When I am awaiting my trial please have some one call Guiness so they can bet the facts from me and I can be entered into their book.
Maybe I should just go for the record of stupidest wife ever! I mean, I know better than to allow H to try his hand at anything mechanical. Most days I don't even allow him to use the toaster oven, no less a cell phone but now that he is getting physical therapy I thought he might be able to handle a machine as tiny and unassuming as a wrist pedometer. The fact that it is strapped to his wrist gave me some hope that he wouldn't loose it or screw up the settings by sitting on it while in his pocket. Sometimes I can be sooooooooo naive.
It took me two days to undo the damage done by "Mr. I know, I know" when he literally ripped the pedometer from its package. I don't know how he did it but I almost had to send the thing back to the manufacturer to have it reprogrammed. I read the instruction tome about seven times before I finally got the thing back on track. Sure enough it is very simple to use! BUT . . .  It has, pause for a GASP,  4 buttons and that is way beyond the reasoning powers of H. The fact that one of the buttons is for a light has totally added to the confusion. (H's confusion, not mine.) I am beginning to have seizures as a result of the light flashing on and off in the morning as H tries, in vain, to start counting his steps for the day. Meanwhile I am logging miles from running to where ever he has stopped because, "THE DAMN THING ISN'T WORKING" . Do you know how much self control is required to punch a button and not the man?  I know that poor is technologically impaired but this is beyond insane. A chimpanzee could learn to operate this thing easier than H.
And so I shall continue to give daily, hourly instructions while chanting the Serenity Prayer.
I have been told that walking is very good for calming ones nerves. Maybe I can find someone selling a slightly blood spattered pedometer.

NEW GAMES

Hello there fans,  it's time to play some new games that have been created just for you parents and grand parents out there.  You are all familiar with our popular game of, 'WHERE'S MY CAR KEYS" and "DAMN DOG" but after two weeks with grand kids here I have come up with an entirely new batch of fun filled games to play.

We begin today with: WHICH CHAIR DID FINN SIT IN? As you slowly walk around the dining room table and look at each chair I challenge you to find the one chair that the two year old toddler boy sat in to eat his meals. Is it the chair coated with rice crispies and apple sauce or is it the chair with milk and chocolate ice cream smeared on it? Knowing that Kaelin, not Finn, loves chocolate you would get this answer without even blinking. So we will move on to a bit harder game.  WHERE'S THE COVER TO THE PINK MAGIC MARKER?  The fact that all the markers are scattered ALL over the house and garage makes this game even harder. Since most of the markers do not have covers the challenge is even greater and the prizes more rewarding the more covers you can match with the markers.
But should you still think this is too easy lets move on to CUSHION TREASURE HUNT. This game is played on any chair that allows things to slip between, in back of and under the cushions.  I personally have just found things that were hidden there at Christmas 2008. The longer the item has been missing the more points you accumulate. What makes this game such a challenge is that you never know what is down there and if it bites! (For those of you who have met our resident lizard that is living on our lanai you only hope it is not him hiding in the cushions.)
Moving right along to the next game we can now play HOW MANY DIAPERS CAN YOU FIND? This game has two stages, first to find the assorted clean diapers that have been scattered all over the house and yard and the second stage, to find the dirty diapers that are hanging out in various trash cans and/or under beds or in closets. My count for today is two. Thank Heavens they were only wet ones!
After DIAPER SEARCH we move on to WHAT'S THAT STAIN?  Sometimes you can figure this out by focusing in on the area the stain is found in but then again that doesn't always help.  The brownish/green stain in the garage/play room could be; (a.) spinach  (b.) chocolate  (c.) paint or
(d.) poop.  This game is only for the strong of stomach and should not be attempted unless you have a doctors note. It often requires scraping, sniffing or touching. Just remember to NEVER, NEVER TASTE!  WHAT'S THAT STAIN is often accompanied by the game WHAT'S THAT PUDDLE?
(The Puddle game is played while still entertaining the children. The puddles dry up too quickly to play it after the children leave. Once the puddle dries up you then have to play WHAT'S THAT STAIN.)

And finally we can all play "HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE GRAND MA TO RETURN TO NORMAL?"  This is actually a trick game because Grand Ma was never normal to start with so you can't win no matter what you say!
(And you do realize that with all my poking fun I would not trade these visits for the world. I had the best time ever and can't wait till our next visit!)

DID ANYONE GET THE LICENSE PLATE OF THAT STEAM ROLLER?

Shot at and hit!     Run Over and left for dead!   Beat with an ugly stick!   All three are good descriptions of how Ger and I are feeling right about now.  Add to that TERRIBLY SAD AND LONESOME and you have a good picture of what we are feeling after the departure of Keri, Steve, Kaelin and Finn.

I have just spent THE BEST 16 days of my life with the loves of my life.  ALL the grand kids were here with us at some point or another and it was SUPER FANTASTIC WONDERFUL.  (Also exhausting!)

Keri and family were here the longest. Kyle and Family came down so they could see all the cousins and Kent and Family made several trips up from Pompano Beach to join in the fun.  There was coming and going every day and poor Grand Pa is still spinning trying to get his chemo brain wrapped around it all.

Bridget and the kids, Abby and Roman, arrived first and spent a week in their condo. Kyle flew down mid week to have a few days with the cousins. They were a huge help when Kaelin and Finn were here.  Those big cousins sure do a great job babysitting so Grand ma could take care of grand pa.  Keri, Steve and Kaelin and Finn arrived on Monday and got to spend some quality time with Abby and Roman in the pool and at the beach.  Kyle arrived on Wednesday and Keri and Steve left on Thursday for 5 days at the Gorge at George, Washington. (That would be the state of Washington, as in the other side of the country for a PHISH concert.)  We had a ball with Kaelin and Finn for the 5 days living under Grand ma's rules and having chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream for breakfast every morning. We also swam in our PJ's, and watched movie after movie while eating pop corn and ice cream. (But don't tell mom and dad!)  Cousins Ann and her husband Kurt were also in town so there were lots and lots of balloon animals "popping" around the house.  My fish with bubbles was the crowning accomplishment of the week.  Kurt and Ann even came down to Smith's third birthday party in Pompano Beach so the kids at the party could enjoy Kurt's balloon creations. (I don't think the 3 year olds appreciated Kurt's skills as much as the older kids and adults did. The man is talented!!!!!)

Kyle and gang returned to Atlanta to close on a NEW house, start packing up their old house and get ready for school starting this coming Monday.  Just a few things going on in their lives!

Keri and Steve returned from an amazing time at their concert filled with stories and pictures. There was some talk about moving to Seattle because it is sooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful but I don't think Kaelin would let them get that far from Grand ma and Grand Pa. Once they returned we all rested for a day and then it was off to Orlando for a visit to Mickey and Minnie. Grand Pa came along for the ride and for the character breakfast on Thursday but he let us go to the Magic Kingdom without him on Friday. Good thing too because it was a marathon day from 8:30 AM to 9:15 PM. No nap for Finn but he and Kaelin were troopers and there wasn't a single melt down during the day on the part of the kids. Mom, dad and Grand ma had several melt downs but the kids did great!  IT WAS HOT!  IT WAS CROWDED! But we lucked out on everything.  We walked right on to "It's a small world", had a fast pass to walk right on to "Ariel's under sea adventure", Keri and Steve fast passed right on to "Space Mountain" while the kids and I had a ball riding the silly "WEB WAY" People mover in Future Land.  Kaelin rode the "Barnstormer" roller coaster with her dad while Finn and mom and I played on the new splash pad in the new Fantasy Land.  We visited Mickie, Minnie, Daisy and Donald, Goofy and the PRINCESSES!  Finn hugged all of them while staring up in their faces in total awe.

All of us have been hanging out for the past 4 days just trying to settle back down. Lots of jumping in the pool and a last trip to the ocean yesterday. It was the PERFECT ocean day, light breeze, no waves and crystal clear water. The ocean was 80 degrees and the sky was blue blue blue.

And now every one is gone. Grand Pa is asleep in his chair with Fox news on the TV.  I don't know where to start with shoveling out the house and am not in any hurry what so ever.  I just booked and hour and a half massage for tomorrow with a chiropractor visit after. Between that and sleeping for days all is well with the world.

I can't wait for the next visit !!!!!

Balloon creations by Kurt, Roman and Abby

Kaelin, Ariel and Finn under the sea

Abby and Bridget

Roman waiting for dinner out

Smith's birthday pinata

Good Birthday cupcake

Space Needle, Seattle

Keri and Steve in Washington 

Kurt's creation for Grand ma

Breakfast with Donald

Arriving at Disney World

Finn on "It's a Small World" ride

It's MINNIE !

Is that REALLY you Mickey ?

A WONDERFUL TIME FOR ALL