Hey Children of mine . . . here's a few things I want to share with you, just in case you haven't figured it out for yourselves yet.
The is NO "ME" in marriage. And there is even less "ME" once you have children. From the minute you said, "I DO" you gave up every ounce of self and became WE, US, TWO, A TEAM, PARTNERS, etc.
Every so often you get the illusion of SELF but that's all it is, an illusion. No matter what time you make to "Do YOUR thing" you never really are alone. There is always that other person at home who is going to ask how your day was, did you have a good time, what did you do today, where were you ??????? You are answering to someone ALL the time. Remember those college days when you were out till dawn and no one cared? That was real freedom, even though you had to make it to that damn 8AM class you still didn't have to answer to anyone.
All the "care" and "concern" from your spouse come under the heading of "LOVE" but it is really just having to share your life with someone else. That is a good thing at times but it wears pretty thin as the years go by.
And if you haven't given up enough of yourself you then go and have children! Children are AWESOME, don't get me wrong but you now have NO CHANCE of being a person. Once you have a child your life is not your own EVER ! Those long hot baths . . . GONE ! Talking on the phone to your BFF, NOT HAPPENING !! (This is a tricky one, especially with our wonderful i phones that can go any where with us but are you really telling me that you are enjoying that conversation while driving 2 screaming kids to the park?) If you answered YES to that question you are doing something really really wrong because once you have children THE KIDS COME FIRST ! ( We are like mommy lions who will kill and eat anyone who gets between us and our child. If someone gets between me and my husband I will probably push him toward them but the kids are a different story. )
I Love when I hear this next generation talking about getting some "TOGETHER" time. Time away from the children, time to yourselves. NOT ! That is not part of the parent package. Have Kids, Give up your life. Yea it sucks but that's the way it works. These kids don't raise themselves. They don't learn responsibility, morals, good judgement and leadership by themselves. They need you there 24/7 whether you like it or not. Maybe you will get to go out to dinner once a month, maybe even a movie but for the most part the minute you got pregnant you signed on for the long haul.
AND IT IS A LONG LONG LONG LONG HAUL ! No more ME, just US . . .
And some day when the kids are all grown and raising families of their own and trying to get some "ME" time you can laugh and tell them how tough it really is but how very worth their while if they do it right. There's plenty of time for ME when you die, right now you have a job to do so do it to the very best of your ability. I did and I am proud of all of you ! Now it's your turn.
