ASSUREDLY SO

 So tell me,  how many of you out there have someone in your family who KNOWS EVERYTHING ?  Don't lie, you know you do and you know who they are and you also know how it drives you crazy. They are the person who will answer everyones questions immediately even though they do NOT know the right answer.  They give you an answer with such authority that you think, "OK, I guess they're right."

NOT !!!!!!!  They just like to think they know it all.  They also think they are being helpful in giving you an answer even though it may or may not be the correct answer. 

Today's instance . . .  I am going out to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions because I am feeling like CRAP.  As I walk out the door The Man says, with upmost authority, "Would you stop and pick up some pasties, (pronounced Pass tee),  from Saint Anthony Church." (A pasty is a bland mix of potatoes and puree of beef, possibly with other veggies added in and then baked in a wonderful pastry shell. They have NO seasoning of any kind and are dry as a bone but the folks of the UP LOVE them.  I love the pastry shell but the contents are like eating styrofoam.  Blaugh !  There is a church in Escanaba that does pastie fund raisers 3 times a year. The Man raves about these pasties and can't wait till the sales.  A couple of weeks ago we saw there was a sale coming up so The Man had me place an order for a DOZEN of these nasty things to be picked up on FRIDAY.  "We can freeze them" says The Man.  Oh Joy !  Lucky lucky me!  But he loves them, I tolerate them and I just keep my mouth shut and go along with it. 

Back to today . . .  Today is NOT Friday!  Today is THURSDAY.  The pastie sale begins today and continues tomorrow.  I know our order is for tomorrow and The Man knows our order is for tomorrow but because he knows everything this is what happened. 

The Man's grand daughter is leaving tomorrow and she too loves pasties.  I bought some at the grocery store this morning because the girl wanted to have pasties for dinner tonight.  (We have not sat down to dinner with her all week. She has been out.  She will not be home for dinner tonight but The Man wants her to have the pasties available so she can eat them when ever she is here.  OK, this morning I drive to the grocery store in Manistique while The Man is in rehab and I buy pasties for dinner.  We bring them home at 12:30 and grand daughter and her younger sister are both here. Little sister agrees with me that Pasties are nasty.  Big sister has her pastie for lunch and then she and little sister are heading into town to go to the fair.  Little sister will presumably be dropped at home before big sister returns here some time during the early hours of the morning. And this is where Mr. Knows it all comes in.  

As the girls are leaving The Man says to grand daughter #1, "Would you like some pasties to take back to Detroit with you?"  (A lovely thought but I know what's coming). Naturally, like any young person she says "SURE!"  (Hell, grandpa is buying, she isn't stupid)  The Man then turns to me and says, "On your way home from the pharmacy would you mind stopping by at St. Anthony's and picking up a half dozen pasties?  And while you are there get them to give you our order so we don't have to go tomorrow."          

#1.  Did I mention I feel like crap ?  I just want to get my meds, come home and lie down.   

# 2.  I don't think you can just stop in and buy pasties.  I think you have to order them. BUT, when I ask this question I am told in no uncertain terms, "Of course you can buy them!!!!!"  OK, what do I know. but in my heart I DO know that he is probably just saying this with nothing to back it up. I also know that they will not have our order ready for today because it is NOT FRIDAY !!!!!  I say NOTHING!

#3.  I don't know where the church is.  So I ask.  I am told that St. Anthonys is on such and such a street. "Very Easy to find !"   Meanwhile I seem to remember the text that was sent to me about picking up my order. They made a point of saying pick-up would be at St. Thomas church.  I check my message and sure enough, St. Thomas, NOT St. Anthony.  I get a poo poo from the Man like I am correcting him just to annoy him.  Meanwhile St. Anthony church is all the way on the other side of town and THAT is where he was sending me.  (Did I mention I am feeling like crap?)

Off I go into town, (20 minutes away), get my meds and take one right then and there in the car.  Then I punch St. THOMAS church into my phone and I'm on my way.  Knowing in my heart I will NOT be picking up pasties. Sure enough, I get to the church, walk in and the lady at the table asks if I have put in an order.  I tell her I have an order in for pick up tomorrow, can I get them today?  (Feeling like a total idiot. I hate being that person who thinks "rules" don't apply to them.)  Do you care to guess what the very nice lady told me ?????  "Come back tomorrow" Can I buy 4 pasties today?   "NOPE".  All pasties are preordered.     

As I get back into the car I am already composing this blog in my head.  This is only one of hundreds of examples of The Man KNOWING FOR SURE that something he says is ABSOLUTELY AND POSITIVELY  and MOST ASSUREDLY TRUE. 

To which I say, BULL POOPIES !!!!!

"GRANDPA . . . THE CAR JUST STOPPED"

 God help me but our younger generation is just plain BRAIN DEAD !!!!  Or am I forgetting what it was like to be 21 ?   I don't think so.  I do think that our young people do not have one ounce of common sense. They depend on their phone for EVERYTHING !!!   What's todays weather?  What should I wear? What will I eat for dinner?  Where should I drive?  If Google isn't giving them the answer their five thousand Facebook/twitter/instagram friends will give them the answer.  NO ONE seems to be able to THINK !!!!! FOR THEM SELVES !!!!!!

We are Doomed !!!

The prompt for this blog was a phone call The Man received from his 21 year old grand daughter who is driving up from lower MI to visit for the week.  Her truck, (that her grandfather gave her 3 years ago), is not worthy of the 300 mile trip. Soooooo, she is using her boyfriends car. Did she think to check the gas gauge before she left Detroit ?  Apparently not because 3 hours ago we got a phone call that she is stuck on the side of the road about 70 miles away from here because her "car just stopped".  When questioned about what happened she said, "I was just driving along talking to my friends (on the phone) when the car started to sputter and then stop".  She was out of gas. . .  And she is pissed at the boyfriend because he didn't fill the tank last night.  

Now I'm thinking back to when I was young and stupid.  (OH YES !  I was STUPID with a capital "S") but in all my adventures I never once ran out of gas.  And if I had I would not have called my parents, or in this case, grandparent.  First of all we knew that if we ran out of gas we were going to have to WALK! There was no Triple A to come fill the tank or jump the battery.  If we had car trouble you just started walking.   Granted I lived in NYC so I probably didn't have to walk far to get to a phone and when I did I called a friend who could come pick me up.  My dad was at work, my mother didn't drive, we didn't have a second car even if she did.  

But it was also a different world.  A 21 year old girl really didn't have to worry about perverts and psychos like we do today but we also knew how to handle ourselves.  

I must say I am VERY proud and surprised with The Man's response to the grand daughter.  He did NOT immediately say he would get in his car and come get her.  I DO think she was expecting that reaction and I admit I thought that is exactly what he would do also.  Maybe because I was sitting across the table when the phone call came in and he had it on speaker he knew I would tell him he was NUTS. For what ever reason he did not go there.  He DID flounder around trying to think of what to do so I got on my phone to see if there was any roadside assistance near by.  (Just about 3 days ago I suggested to The Man that he get his grand daughter a membership to AAA. That way she would be assured of help should she get stuck some where. He ignored me.). I tried to contact my AAA membership to see if they would assist her even though we are not related but I couldn't get through to a real person.  

By now The Man has been on the phone with grand daughter for a good 5 minutes and no one has decided on an action.  I told her to Google "roadside assistance" on her phone and see what comes up.  Then the "discussion" between her and grandpa began on who to call and will they help and where do you think they are . . .  OMG.  JUST FREAKING CALL SOMEONE !!!!!!  Grand pa is 85 miles way and he isn't coming so DO SOMETHING !!!   Since my first suggestion didn't go anywhere I then told The Man to call the local police station and tell them what was going on.  That took grand pa and grand daughter 10 minutes to do but FINALLY one of them made the call.  

This is NOT ROCKET SCIENCE !!!!!!

Of course the cops were great even though grand daughter was all pissy with having to wait 20 minutes.  

She is on the road again.  Grand pa told her to stop and FILL the tank because the cops probably just put in enough gas to get her to a gas station.  We shall see. 

I DON'T WANT TO BE IN CHARGE ANY MORE

All my life I have been "in charge".  Maybe that comes from being an only child and not having anyone else to take charge of things or I was just born with the type "A" personality where I have to be "The Boss" of everyone and everything.  (Basically that translates to being a pain in the ass to everyone around me.). 

As a kid I had to fend for myself if I wanted something.  Mom was busy with grandpas and dad was working. I entertained myself and bossed around most of the neighborhood kids.  It came natural to me to be the one gathering my friends to play stickball or to go roller skating. I organized the play for the day all summer long and none of us were ever bored. I like to think I wasn't pushy or bossy but who knows. At school it was a totally different story. There I was a mouse trying to remain invisible. I got real good at that. But when I was with friends I was comfortable taking charge when no one else wanted the job.

During my marriage Husband always told me I was a "Control Freak".  He didn't want to write the checks, balance the check book, organize the cross country vacations or deal with the daily responsibilities of running a household of 5 people. But he did not like me "taking over" and reminded me of it often. My justification was, "If I don't do it no one will".  And that sort of thinking is how I ended up teaching religious education for our parish, being class mother for all my kids in most of their elementary classes, becoming a Girl Scout leader and taking care of pretty much everything at home. 

STUPID STUPID ME !

Now here I am 78 years old and I am STILL in charge of the lives of several people. How in Heaven's name did that happen ???   How did I end up as the key person dealing with my 93 year old cousin's life? How did I end up living with The Man and monitoring his health? 

I keep telling myself that I am doing God's work.  The Lord has a plan and He has put me here to help these people. God wants Cousin Lucille and The Man to remain on this earth for some reason so He has put me in their lives to keep them alive and functioning. 

FUNNY JOKE GOD !!!!!!

This morning I have spent the last 3 hours dealing with the finances of my cousin. Talking with her financial guy making sure she is financially sound to continue living where she is so she can enjoy her life. In between phone calls there The Man has me helping him work through computer sites and phone calls with doctors and the VA trying to make sure he is getting the medical attention that he needs. Most of this he can handle but he likes to have me right there as he tries to navigate through the computer and phone "Just in Case". . 

As I sit waiting and watching The Man I can't help but wonder how the hell I ended up here and when is it my turn?  When do I get to be taken care of ?  When do I get to shut down my brain and just sit back to let someone take care of me? 

 I get the pity party playing through my brain until I realize I DON'T WANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF !!  I would probably loose my mind if I had nothing to think about and no one to take care of.  I would be bored out of my mind.  The thought of having to be at the mercy of someone else making decisions and controlling my life would be my worst nightmare.  

Because after all, I AM a control freak and need to be in charge !!!