I know that God is all knowing and has a plan for us but I sure would like to know what HE was thinking when he put me on this earth and let me have a brain. My assumption is that if you have a brain you are supposed to use it. Apparently that is not the case with a good portion of the human race . . . thus the need for warning labels on coffee cups and rail road tracks. My issue today is that I seem to give the impression to those folks around me that I can not and do not think for myself and can not and am not capable of thinking logically and intelligently. As my friend Jeanne once said, "Do I have the words 'Ass Hole' written across my forehead"?
I know I do not have my doctorate in rocket science or any other field for that matter, only a measly Batchelor of Science degree in education. No Masters degree, no Rhodes scholar, no degree from Harvard or Yale. The only thing I think I have is a little common sense and a pretty good ability at problem solving. Thanks to my dad I can figure out which end of a screw driver turns the screw and I can even figure out most remote controls with a minimum of effort. So when someone in the other room is yelling directions at me as I attempt to reconnect the TV cable that is laying on the floor of a closet I DO get a little pissed. If you are so freaking sure of what is going on get off your ass and DO IT YOURSELF !!
There must be a reason God has given me 2, TWO, men to torment me. Do I need to learn humility? Do I need to learn patience? Do I need to learn to control the urge to throw a shoe at the bane of my existence? Probably ALL of the above but I would also request that if this is the case God really needs to give me more alcohol and/or drugs.
It stands to reason that we human beings are meant to live side by side without killing each other because why else would God have created humans with the ability and desire to propagate. I truly believe we are supposed to be kind to each other and not throw shoes at our partners. So then WHY did God make male and female soooooooooooooo DIFFERENT ? What is the reason behind the male ego? Why do men ALWAYS have to feel they are the alpha being and we silly little females are only put here to cater to their "needs"? A man who is totally capable of cooking his own meals suddenly becomes brain dead and un able to even find the kitchen as soon as a woman is present! But when it is something electronic all of a sudden they become all manly and knowledgable even if they can't figure out how to use the remote. And don't even get me started about the "flip" phone that the man still has.
Please God, please just give me the reason you are testing me so much after all these years. I REALLY am smart and should be able to figure out what message you are trying to send but up till right now I am at a total loss and am just ready to throw in the towel and become the brain dead dip shit that I apparently am viewed as.
Sunday, September 29, 2019
Saturday, September 14, 2019
"PARTY TIME" MICHIGAN STYLE
I do love a good party. Give me just about any reason to celebrate and I'm mixing up the dip and chilling the beer and wine before we even set a date and time. The very BEST parties ever were when I was teaching and we got a "snow day". There is nothing better than waking up to the phone ringing at 5 AM to tell you school is cancelled Well, actually there is one thing better and that was when school was cancelled the night before so we could stay up all night and party.
Even when my kids were growing up and they had a snow day it was cause for a gathering of the neighbors. The snow was NEVER too deep for us to get across the street or down the block to either Jeanne or Sharon's so the kids could get together to play in the snow and the grown-ups had an excuse to drink at 10 in the morning. There was always hot chocolate with marshmallows for the kids and something with "anti freeze" in it for the adults. The day would fly by with occasional forays into the snow with the kids but mostly we just stayed in doors and enjoyed the FREE day.
In the summer when there was no chance of a snow day we would have impromptu lobster parties in someones back yard with all the kids running around like banshees and the parents sitting around the picnic table pigging out on lobster, (or burgers and dogs if our budgets wouldn't allow lobster), and drinking endless amounts of beer. (Or in Sharon's case Bourbon and Jeanne's wine.)
There is still nothing like getting together with my two best friends and killing an entire day laughing.
Today I am in Michigan and as I sit here writing there is a "party" going on out in the kitchen and I am not taking part in it. I AM sitting here in the parlor with a large glass of Jim Beam and Coke while Dwayne and one of his neighbors and the man's son sit around the kitchen table on those lovely naugahyde chairs drinking water and nibbling on chips and bean dip. (I have NEVER served bean dip in my entire life of partying nor will I ever.) This apparently is how Michigan men "party" when waiting for the deer to appear during hunting season. No beer will be served until a deer is shot or until the men give up waiting.
This weekend is a special permit weekend for "kids" to hunt deer. Slim. Dwayne's neighbor who is anything but slim, has brought his son over to shoot a deer. Normally on any given afternoon there are all sorts of critters munching on corn and other goodies that D puts out for them every day. There have been afternoons and evenings when there are up to 15 deer standing around between the back of the house and the barn. Tonight there are NONE !! Last night there also were none and I am laughing myself silly at the idea that the deer actually know it is hunting season and so they wait till 2 AM to show up to eat. Last night we went to bed around 10 and there wasn't a single deer to be seen. I got up at 3 AM to pee and there they were, happy as pigs munching away at the corn we had put out the previous afternoon.
I personally don't find this sort of event to be party material but the 3 guys have their chips and dip and seem to be finding enough to chat about to pass the afternoon. It has been two hours now and still not a single animal has shown its nose outside the house. There are a couple of mourning doves sitting up on the roof of the barn and if I'm not mistaken they are laughing at "The boys" in the kitchen.
I was given the option of going over to Slim's house for the afternoon/evening so I wouldn't have to witness the massacre but I chose to hang out here and just chillax with reading and writing. I think I"m having a much better time sitting out here in the comfy chair with my drink.
If by some wild turn of events the deer actually show up I will turn my back to the window and continue to party on my own but I really don't see that happening.
Even when my kids were growing up and they had a snow day it was cause for a gathering of the neighbors. The snow was NEVER too deep for us to get across the street or down the block to either Jeanne or Sharon's so the kids could get together to play in the snow and the grown-ups had an excuse to drink at 10 in the morning. There was always hot chocolate with marshmallows for the kids and something with "anti freeze" in it for the adults. The day would fly by with occasional forays into the snow with the kids but mostly we just stayed in doors and enjoyed the FREE day.
In the summer when there was no chance of a snow day we would have impromptu lobster parties in someones back yard with all the kids running around like banshees and the parents sitting around the picnic table pigging out on lobster, (or burgers and dogs if our budgets wouldn't allow lobster), and drinking endless amounts of beer. (Or in Sharon's case Bourbon and Jeanne's wine.)
There is still nothing like getting together with my two best friends and killing an entire day laughing.
Today I am in Michigan and as I sit here writing there is a "party" going on out in the kitchen and I am not taking part in it. I AM sitting here in the parlor with a large glass of Jim Beam and Coke while Dwayne and one of his neighbors and the man's son sit around the kitchen table on those lovely naugahyde chairs drinking water and nibbling on chips and bean dip. (I have NEVER served bean dip in my entire life of partying nor will I ever.) This apparently is how Michigan men "party" when waiting for the deer to appear during hunting season. No beer will be served until a deer is shot or until the men give up waiting.
This weekend is a special permit weekend for "kids" to hunt deer. Slim. Dwayne's neighbor who is anything but slim, has brought his son over to shoot a deer. Normally on any given afternoon there are all sorts of critters munching on corn and other goodies that D puts out for them every day. There have been afternoons and evenings when there are up to 15 deer standing around between the back of the house and the barn. Tonight there are NONE !! Last night there also were none and I am laughing myself silly at the idea that the deer actually know it is hunting season and so they wait till 2 AM to show up to eat. Last night we went to bed around 10 and there wasn't a single deer to be seen. I got up at 3 AM to pee and there they were, happy as pigs munching away at the corn we had put out the previous afternoon.
I personally don't find this sort of event to be party material but the 3 guys have their chips and dip and seem to be finding enough to chat about to pass the afternoon. It has been two hours now and still not a single animal has shown its nose outside the house. There are a couple of mourning doves sitting up on the roof of the barn and if I'm not mistaken they are laughing at "The boys" in the kitchen.
I was given the option of going over to Slim's house for the afternoon/evening so I wouldn't have to witness the massacre but I chose to hang out here and just chillax with reading and writing. I think I"m having a much better time sitting out here in the comfy chair with my drink.
If by some wild turn of events the deer actually show up I will turn my back to the window and continue to party on my own but I really don't see that happening.
Friday, September 13, 2019
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER
Boy am I spoiled !!!
Today we drove 2 hours to go for a doctor's appointment for Dwayne. NEVER in my entire life have I ever driven that far to see a doctor. Not even to see a specialist ! And this is common practice up here for these folks living in the U.P. of Michigan.
Dwayne's GP doctor who sees him when there is an "emergency" is about a half hour away in the next town.
When D goes to the VA for his regular check ups he drives an hour to get to that hospital where all his doctor's offices are located.
BUT . . . Even the VA does not have specialists so when Dwayne needs to see a cardiologist or a pulmonologist he has to drive at least 2 hours to Green Bay, WI. And even then they don't have all the technology needed for certain issues so D will have to drive 4 hours to Madison, WI.
We left the house this morning at 7:30 AM to get to Green Bay by 9:30 AM. It is a 2 hour drive but Green Bay is on Central Time so they are an hour behind Gladston, MI where D lives. It took us about two and a half hours to get there because most of the way is country roads rather than highways. It was pouring rain this morning with fog coming off Lake Michigan. Because it was early we had to pay extra attention to the possibility of a deer running out in front of us which one did do.
Coming home was much easier because the rain had stopped and the sun was out. We even stopped for lunch at a local cafe in Menomonee, MI just over the Wisconsin border. We finally got home at 4:45 this afternoon. It was a NINE and HALF hour day to go see one doctor. Don't ever complain about waiting a half hour in a doctor's waiting room. That beats driving to another state!
This is really country living up here. Back in Florida I feel horribly put out if I have to drive more than 5 miles to see any sort of doctor or to have major surgery, The only thing that is "right around the corner" up here is a field of corn or a barn full of cows.
Today we drove 2 hours to go for a doctor's appointment for Dwayne. NEVER in my entire life have I ever driven that far to see a doctor. Not even to see a specialist ! And this is common practice up here for these folks living in the U.P. of Michigan.
Dwayne's GP doctor who sees him when there is an "emergency" is about a half hour away in the next town.
When D goes to the VA for his regular check ups he drives an hour to get to that hospital where all his doctor's offices are located.
BUT . . . Even the VA does not have specialists so when Dwayne needs to see a cardiologist or a pulmonologist he has to drive at least 2 hours to Green Bay, WI. And even then they don't have all the technology needed for certain issues so D will have to drive 4 hours to Madison, WI.
We left the house this morning at 7:30 AM to get to Green Bay by 9:30 AM. It is a 2 hour drive but Green Bay is on Central Time so they are an hour behind Gladston, MI where D lives. It took us about two and a half hours to get there because most of the way is country roads rather than highways. It was pouring rain this morning with fog coming off Lake Michigan. Because it was early we had to pay extra attention to the possibility of a deer running out in front of us which one did do.
Coming home was much easier because the rain had stopped and the sun was out. We even stopped for lunch at a local cafe in Menomonee, MI just over the Wisconsin border. We finally got home at 4:45 this afternoon. It was a NINE and HALF hour day to go see one doctor. Don't ever complain about waiting a half hour in a doctor's waiting room. That beats driving to another state!
This is really country living up here. Back in Florida I feel horribly put out if I have to drive more than 5 miles to see any sort of doctor or to have major surgery, The only thing that is "right around the corner" up here is a field of corn or a barn full of cows.
THE COMFY CHAIR
No matter who's house you go in to there will always be at least one Comfy Chair that is the favorite spot for that homeowner. It's usually in the living room facing the TV but it could be in a bedroom or den, sun room or porch. In the case of Dwayne's house my comfy chair is out in the beautiful parlor room. The chair is a big old dark green or blue, (I really can't tell), leather chair that has probably been in this room for ages. It faces a big glass sliding door that overlooks the back of the house. I love this room and this chair and try to relax out here as often as possible without making Dwayne feel like I am ignoring him. The room is at the far end of the house and is always kept closed off with beautiful French doors. When I am out here there is no sound or distraction and because it is kept closed up it is always cool even when D has the heat turned up to 90 in the rest of the house.
Dwayne's favorite chair is the total opposite of mine. His chair sits in the kitchen at the square metal kitchen table. It faces the kitchen stove so he can watch all that transpires in his tiny kitchen space. (NOTHING ever transpires in the kitchen!) When sitting on this 1950's style metal frame and red plastic cushioned chair D can see the TV on the wall to his left and he can view all the wild life that visit his yard outside the glass doors to his right. When I get up in the morning the man is sitting on HIS CHAIR with a cup of coffee watching the Bald Eagles landing on the barn or next to the pond. As soon as we stop doing what ever running for the day D sets himself down in his chair with a can of beer to watch all the deer that visit his yard until it is time for bed. (With all the drinking of coffee and beer that goes on in this chair it should be a potty chair.) This part of the house is rather small with a bathroom, tiny kitchen and 2 bedrooms. There is a dining room space between the kitchen and my parlor but that is filled with furniture that is never used. Dwayne's comfy chair really does date back to the 50's and it probably has seen it's share of butts. I am told by D's grand daughter who lived here for a couple of years back around 2004 that Dwayne and his wife never left the kitchen table in the evenings. Sitting at the table watching TV was a nightly ritual. They NEVER sat in this lovely parlor in this comfy chair. This parlor room also houses a big matching leather couch that looks to be in great shape until you sit on it. As soon as you start to sit you find yourself sinking down to about three inches off the floor. Apparently the springs or cushions are so worn down that there is no support at all. Which is something I find hard to imagine since no one ever comes out into this room except me.
Back in Florida I have my electric recliner that I guess I would consider my Florida comfy chair even though it really isn't that great but because it reclines and vibrates all at the touch of a button it fits the criteria for comfort.
I suppose comfort is all in the eyes of the beholder. I find the kitchen chairs in Michigan to be total and complete torture if I sit on them for more than about 20 minutes but D lives in his chair and seems to have no trouble staying there for hours on end. And he doesn't have half the padding that I do.
Dwayne's favorite chair is the total opposite of mine. His chair sits in the kitchen at the square metal kitchen table. It faces the kitchen stove so he can watch all that transpires in his tiny kitchen space. (NOTHING ever transpires in the kitchen!) When sitting on this 1950's style metal frame and red plastic cushioned chair D can see the TV on the wall to his left and he can view all the wild life that visit his yard outside the glass doors to his right. When I get up in the morning the man is sitting on HIS CHAIR with a cup of coffee watching the Bald Eagles landing on the barn or next to the pond. As soon as we stop doing what ever running for the day D sets himself down in his chair with a can of beer to watch all the deer that visit his yard until it is time for bed. (With all the drinking of coffee and beer that goes on in this chair it should be a potty chair.) This part of the house is rather small with a bathroom, tiny kitchen and 2 bedrooms. There is a dining room space between the kitchen and my parlor but that is filled with furniture that is never used. Dwayne's comfy chair really does date back to the 50's and it probably has seen it's share of butts. I am told by D's grand daughter who lived here for a couple of years back around 2004 that Dwayne and his wife never left the kitchen table in the evenings. Sitting at the table watching TV was a nightly ritual. They NEVER sat in this lovely parlor in this comfy chair. This parlor room also houses a big matching leather couch that looks to be in great shape until you sit on it. As soon as you start to sit you find yourself sinking down to about three inches off the floor. Apparently the springs or cushions are so worn down that there is no support at all. Which is something I find hard to imagine since no one ever comes out into this room except me.
Back in Florida I have my electric recliner that I guess I would consider my Florida comfy chair even though it really isn't that great but because it reclines and vibrates all at the touch of a button it fits the criteria for comfort.
I suppose comfort is all in the eyes of the beholder. I find the kitchen chairs in Michigan to be total and complete torture if I sit on them for more than about 20 minutes but D lives in his chair and seems to have no trouble staying there for hours on end. And he doesn't have half the padding that I do.
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
HAS ANY ONE HERE SEEN DORIAN ?
Missing . . . one category 5 hurricane . . . last seen hanging out over The Bahamas. If you should find Dorian please give it "the finger" for me.
Once again I am sooooooooooooooooooo pissed at our media coverage of this hurricane. YES, it was a big one and IF it did actually hit us head on we needed to be prepared BUT . . . TEN DAYS of hysteria preceding the actual "arrival" of nothing set off the entire population of the East Coast of Florida into a raging frenzy. As always the stores were emptied out by last Thursday, you could not get gas for your car last week and people were driving even worse than they usually drive down here because "A STORM WAS COMING AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!",
I know I have written about this over and over but it REALLY REALLY REALLY pisses me off. For God's sake report the news but do it in a manner that does not cause panic. I don't need to hear about the last 300 hurricanes that have come this way. I don't want to hear about how I MUST fill my tub with water and fill my cabinets with food. I, and I am sure ALL the residents of this state, can live on what is in my fridge and pantry for the next 2 years without having to race to Publix to buy even more supplies. But that is exactly what the TV is telling us to do. They are causing people to freak out and not think rationally.
But maybe I am giving too much credit to the mentality of the rest of the state. We are talking about
Flor-i- DUH !!!!!
As for this past week, my house has never been this clean because I did not have enough gas in my car to go anywhere because the gas stations were emptied out last Wednesday . . . THAT WAS A WEEK AGO ! And even if I did have gas in my car I was constantly being told there was a Hurricane coming !!! Every day for ONE FULL WEEK I was being told the Hurricane was coming THAT NIGHT or THAT DAY or BY 8 AM TOMORROW. It was GOING to hit South Florida's east coast FOR SURE !!! NO CHANCE it can turn !!!!! Well guess what . . . Yesterday I sat in my daughter's driveway having a few drinks as the kids played in the street with a bunch of the neighborhood kids. Every hour or so a small shower would pass through and the kids would continue playing in the rain when we adults stood in the garage and waited the 2 minutes for the showers to stop so we could resume our party. There was NO wind, NO hurricane force gales and nothing else that even vaguely resembled a hurricane.
To all my friends who texted and called I say thank you for believing the weather reports but don't you worry about us down here, It's all just a big media lie to sell gas and groceries.
Once again I am sooooooooooooooooooo pissed at our media coverage of this hurricane. YES, it was a big one and IF it did actually hit us head on we needed to be prepared BUT . . . TEN DAYS of hysteria preceding the actual "arrival" of nothing set off the entire population of the East Coast of Florida into a raging frenzy. As always the stores were emptied out by last Thursday, you could not get gas for your car last week and people were driving even worse than they usually drive down here because "A STORM WAS COMING AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!",
I know I have written about this over and over but it REALLY REALLY REALLY pisses me off. For God's sake report the news but do it in a manner that does not cause panic. I don't need to hear about the last 300 hurricanes that have come this way. I don't want to hear about how I MUST fill my tub with water and fill my cabinets with food. I, and I am sure ALL the residents of this state, can live on what is in my fridge and pantry for the next 2 years without having to race to Publix to buy even more supplies. But that is exactly what the TV is telling us to do. They are causing people to freak out and not think rationally.
But maybe I am giving too much credit to the mentality of the rest of the state. We are talking about
Flor-i- DUH !!!!!
As for this past week, my house has never been this clean because I did not have enough gas in my car to go anywhere because the gas stations were emptied out last Wednesday . . . THAT WAS A WEEK AGO ! And even if I did have gas in my car I was constantly being told there was a Hurricane coming !!! Every day for ONE FULL WEEK I was being told the Hurricane was coming THAT NIGHT or THAT DAY or BY 8 AM TOMORROW. It was GOING to hit South Florida's east coast FOR SURE !!! NO CHANCE it can turn !!!!! Well guess what . . . Yesterday I sat in my daughter's driveway having a few drinks as the kids played in the street with a bunch of the neighborhood kids. Every hour or so a small shower would pass through and the kids would continue playing in the rain when we adults stood in the garage and waited the 2 minutes for the showers to stop so we could resume our party. There was NO wind, NO hurricane force gales and nothing else that even vaguely resembled a hurricane.
To all my friends who texted and called I say thank you for believing the weather reports but don't you worry about us down here, It's all just a big media lie to sell gas and groceries.
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