LAID TO REST

Today the family gathered at OUR LADY QUEEN OF PEACE cemetery in Royal Palm Beach, Fl to have Ger's ashes  placed in our niche in a wall.  It was a beautiful day. Blue blue sky, a lovely breeze and warm sunshine.  Ger would have loved it.
A short ceremony was done by a deacon from a near by church and our family came together to say their final good bye to their dad, grandpa, husband. It bothered me more than I had expected. Having had Ger's ashes here at the house for the past month was sort of comforting. I would talk to him and pat him on "his head" as I walked by.  For the past couple of weeks he was wearing bunny ears to get in the spirit of Easter. So today when we were leaving the house and I went over to pick him up to go I felt like I had to let him go all over again.  I wasn't prepared for that.
But off we all went and in the beauty of the day and the comfort of my children and grand children it was okay. The grand kids loved the cemetery because it was green grass and beautiful gardens.  My children loved it for the same reason, they were all right with leaving their dad's ashes there knowing he was already in a much better place but that they could visit him in this amazing setting any time they wanted.
It was a good day to say good bye.

Kaelin and Grey

THE WALL

Wynn and his daddy Kent

Add caption

Kristen, Wynn & Kent

Add caption

Finn

A MOST EXPENSIVE BUTTON

Years and years ago, when the dinosaurs roamed the earth . . . well, maybe not that long ago, lets say back in 1950, my dad bought himself a new car. It was a beautiful blue Nash Rambler. Odd name for a car that looked like a big blue box but dad loved that car. It was way ahead of its time with automatic transmission, (GASP) a button on the floor that you would tap with your left foot, (since that foot no longer had anything to do since the clutch was gone) to change the headlights from regular to high beam, (DOUBLE GASP)  AND the biggest innovation of all . . . a button on the dash board to turn the car on ! My dad thought he had died and gone to heaven. This car was the cat's meow and then some. You still had to have a key to put into the ignition but then you pushed the button and the Rambler started to hum!

That car served my dad well for over 20 years. It survived my mother's failed attempt to learn to drive. (The neighbors fence died a horrible death.) The car also survived my learning to drive. I couldn't wait to get my license. I would sit in the car in front of our house pretending I was cruising the streets of Queens. I got me through my learners permit and my road test, which I passed on the first try. It survived my discovery that I could "burn rubber" even with an automatic transmission in a car that was by then 17 years old. It was quite the automobile.

And here we are all these years later with our cell phones, iPads, computers and push button cars. The only difference is that my push button car does not have a key. In stead I have a FOB. As long as the fob is anywhere near the car I can open and lock the doors and turn the car on. No more rummaging through my purse to find my car keys. No more putting my keys down some where never to find them again. The fob just stays in my purse and never leaves my side.

BUT . . . What IF . . .  If I loose that  fob I am not going any where. I only have that ONE fob so I have to be very sure it never leaves my sight. Once it is gone I just toss my car away and buy a new one. No! that can't be right. What if I just buy a new fob?

Today I took my car in for servicing at the dealer where I bought it way over in Royal Palm Beach.  I had a great adventure. Cruised down the turnpike and was there in about 15 minutes. Easy Peasy ! The servicing took less than an hour and that was that. Before I left I inquired about purchasing a second key less entry fob. When I came to I asked if I had heard them correctly. OVER $400 !!  For a little thing smaller than a box of gum ????  YEP !  I heard them right ! AND said the service manager if I were to loose the 2 key fobs it would cost me over $600 because then they would have to reprogram the computer in my car.

I did order a new fob which will take one hour to program. Why does it take that long ?  I don't even want to know.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SNORT !

Woke up at 3:30 and here I am 2 hours later still on the computer.  The fact that I slept 14 hours the night before might have something to do with not sleeping tonight. Or was it the chocolate I had for dessert ?  HUM ?

As I was going to bed at midnight I wanted to write but I was so tired I couldn't think about blogging. Guess my brain thought otherwise cause here I am. It's still very dark outside so it could be midnight except I did sleep for 3 hours.  As I was walking around the house with lights on and off I was laughing to myself that I could be as noisy as I wanted. I moved a little furniture and then decided to put an ad on Craig's list to try to sell the electric recliner that the kids bought for Ger for Christmas. It has bad memories attached to it, (in spite of the memory of Ger riding up and down in it for various lengths of time because he couldn't figure out which of the TWO buttons to push!) I want it gone so it is posted on THE LIST and hopefully someone will snatch it up soon.  Now that I got my desk into the den there just isn't any room for the recliner.

I am LOVING the desk move !  I think it looks fabulous ! It really is a beautiful piece of furniture and sitting in front of the windows and under 4 sky lights it is perfect for writing and jigsaw puzzles.  I have a puzzle that is a birds eye view of our section of our community.  Kyle and Bridget gave it to Ger about 3 years ago and we never got to working on it. Just before Ger started his decline he and I got out the puzzle and I put the frame together.  He had good intentions of working on it but it never went any further than the frame. It's still sitting in pieces on a small table but needs to make the move to the desk top where little fingers won't get at it. I had a friend and her husband over for dinner tonight, (corned beef a little late), and the consensus of opinion was the desk looks GREAT !

I'll include some photos for you along with photos of Smith and Kent at the Mets / Marlins baseball game that we went to yesterday right down the block at our minor league stadium. It's SPRING TRAINING in Florida and all the players, (baseball and otherwise) are in town. The crazy Cardinals Fans are insane about their team and on days when the Cardinals are playing you can't get near the stadium. It is quite a spectacle to see thousands of people in red shirts, red shorts, red hats walking around the streets. I don't know what it is about these fans but they are a rare breed. Days when the Marlins are playing you don't see anyone. Poor Marlins.  I have to cheer for them because I am now a Florida resident and they are MY team but when the Mets beat them 12-3 it's very tempting to revert to my New York loyalties.

Best seats in the house

Smith gets a ball

before

after

THE NEW "COMMAND CENTRAL"

COMMAND CENTRAL HAS MOVED.  Let it be noted in the minutes of tonight's meeting!  It has happened and I LOVE it ! That giant old desk in the garage is no longer hiding in the dark where no one can see and appreciate it. I no longer have to go in the garage and sweat bullets until the wall AC unit cools the room down whenever I need to work on files in the desk. I can be in the den in the light of the 4 sky lights and look out the beautiful wall of windows that make up one wall of the den. And all this cost me dinner for 5 and some great conversation while drinking sangria. All that topped off by strawberry short cake and a swim in the pool.
Tell me life isn't good !

I invited Theresa and Annette over with their husbands and Annette's step son and the guys moved the desk out of the garage, around the house and into the den. (Note the AROUND THE HOUSE" part of that sentence?)
When everyone arrived here this afternoon I showed the guys where the monster desk was residing and where I wanted the desk to be moved to. NO PROBLEM said everyone . . .  until Annette said, "WILL IT FIT THROUGH THE DOOR? ? ? ?"     OOPS !      Small door - BIG DESK.            Never thought about that.   I have just been ditzzing along telling myself the desk had once been in the house so therefore it will now return to the house.  That was just an assumption on my part.  I have no idea where the previous owner had the desk. Maybe it has always been in the garage. But it still had to come into the house through a door, right? There being no garage door for a car to come into the room the only doors are the one that goes into the kitchen and the one that goes out to the side yard.

THERE WE ALL STOOD scratching out heads and butts, mouths hanging open looking from one door to the other and back to the desk. (Have I mentioned that the desk is HUGE?)  Finally someone suggested we measure said desk and the doors and sure enough the door to the kitchen was too small for the desk to fit through.   BUT . . .  the guys hefted up the desk, S Q U E E Z E D it through the outside door, came AROUND the house and in the front door.   PHEW !  Thank goodness there were 3 strong guys because that desk took the three of them to haul. Even with all the drawers taken out it still was quite the handful. I had tried to give everyone a drink before the adventure started but they were hesitant to drink at that point. After the adventure EVERYONE had several drinks !  That and some pulled pork, salads and Theresa's home made strawberry short cake made for a great afternoon and evening.

I think Annette and Stan, Theresa and Steve are changing their phone number ASAP so I can't call them ever again but I happen to know where they all live so they won't get away from helping with my home renovation that easily!

THANK YOU THANK YOU Stan, Annette, Joe, Theresa and Steve. You are all terrific and I REALLY appreciate your help !

DOUBLE YAWN !

No matter what time I start for bed it is midnight before I get there. What is with that ?  It  must really be due to my being a night owl !  I had a room mate when I was teaching who couldn't stay awake past 7 PM.  Sandy would head for the couch after dinner and next thing she would be snoring away.  I would wake her at 10 PM and tell her to go to bed but she would always say she was too tired to go to bed and end up sleeping on the couch. (This is the same woman who would be sucking up spiders with the vacuum at 3 AM. )

People often tell me how they fall asleep watching TV at night.  How does that happen ? Well, I guess I know the answer to that, TV is STUPID !  My dad used to tell me all the time that there was, "Nothing good to watch on the TV" and I would try to convince him to watch this or that show that I thought was so entertaining. Now I get it ! Shows that used to seem so great are worse than terrible and now bore me to tears.  Our TV thinks it is broken because it has not been turned on nearly as much as it used to be when H was here. And Fox News ? . . .  Is that still on? Can't tell by me. The world could have ended 3 days ago and I wouldn't know it. If it hadn't been for one of my kids mentioning Daylight Savings time a few weeks back I would still be an hour behind. No time to keep up with all that. I'm too busy staying up at night and running around all day.

Today's adventure was to go to Theresa's house with Annette and watch the movie, HEAVEN IS FOR REAL. I had read the book but now that it is a movie we all watched it and I must say it was better than the book. (Seldom does that happen!)  Then we had home made soup, salad and bread and great conversation.  This is my new Friday Morning get together.  Last week we met at the beach and did grounding exercises, a yoga/meditation sort of thing. ( I was worried it had something to do with lightening!)  I'm really enjoying these women and it's a great way to spend a day.  The afternoon was focused on cleaning off my huge desk in the garage so I can move it into the den. For those of you who have been following this blog for a while you will remember COMMAND CENTRAL. That was Ger's name for when I disappeared at night into the garage where I had my computer set up on this gigantic old wooden desk that came with the house. When I bought my MAC I wanted it to last longer than my PC's ever did so I brought a small desk into the bedroom and set up command central in here. (The garage is not air conditioned and I thing the Florida heat got to my other computer.) Now that Ger is gone I want to show off that awesome old wooden desk so I am having my friends bring their husbands over on Sunday to move the desk for me. (This is hopefully the beginning of cleaning up/out the garage room.) I'm so excited about this move. I just hope that once I bring the monster desk in I like it cause I don't want to have to cook another dinner for 6 as payment for moving it.
But now, if the desk comes in something must GO out. The "new" recliner that the kids bought for Ger is on the list to go.  It's second hand and large and black and not all that comfortable. I don't like sitting in it because it was Husband's chair.  He had such a terrible time trying to figure out which of the TWO (2) buttons to push to get in or out of the chair. I would be sitting in my chair and hear him turning his chair on to move either forward and out or back to lay down. The leather would crackle and creak so I would know he was on the move. After about 5 minutes of constant noise I would finally ask him what he was trying to do. Depending on his response I would tell him which of the TWO (2) buttons he should be pressing. Then he would tell me it was not working. The "damn" chair was no good! The "damn" clicker wasn't working! (Thank God the DAMN dog had died years ago or that would have been irritating H also.)  So as far as I'm concerned the chair is good to go, hopefully to be sold on Craig"s List where Keri found it in the first place. With all these "damn" Senior Citizens down here selling it should be a piece of cake.

Speaking of cake . . . tomorrow is the twin's first birthday party and THERE WLL BE CAKE !

YAWN . . .

I'm ready for sleep ! Got up early today for a doctor appointment for the last of 3 shots in my old arthritic knees. I am supposed to come home and relax for the day and keep icing the knees but last week I didn't do that and I paid for it all week. Today I came straight home, got a bowl of cereal for breakfast and some ice packs and retired to the recliner for the next hour. Ahhhhhhhhhhh !
BUT THEN I remembered I am having a guest for overnight (a girl friend) and the guest bedroom is still not ready ! OH NO !  It took me all day to get that darn room pulled together because I kept stopping to ice my knees and play solitaire on the Ipad. Never knew it could take me 4 hours to make 2 beds !  I think I am becoming the queen of procrastination. But what the hey ! There is no one I have to answer to so I can ditz around all I want ! As usual I got fired up with energy at around 5:30 PM and took a ride to Publix grocery store to stock up with the supplies needed to company. Coffee cake, beer, strawberries. Just the necessities. Then I decided I needed to make a salmon dip and a salad. 3 hours later and a sink full of dishes I'm ready to call it a night except my knees are aching !

THE MESS IS WINNING . . . .

Two steps forward and twelve steps back. That is the progress I am making in trying to reorganize my house.  My dad always cracked us up by saying he "had to get organized". It must be a family thing because I keep saying that to myself and yet am making absolutely no head way at all. (I suppose if I stopped taking a nap every afternoon I could get more done but that just doesn't sound like any fun at all.)

Today's mission was ONCE AGAIN my bedroom. It all started with the closet and wanting to empty Ger's clothes out of the closet so I would have some room to put more of my things. (I have boxes under the beds with clothes I can't fit into and clothes that I only wear on those 2 days a year when the temperature drops below 60.) I thought if I put my too small clothes in the closet where I would see them it might remind me I don't want or need that cookie I am about to stuff in my face. And if I am working in the closet I am the furthest distance from the kitchen. WIN WIN !  So attack the closet was the plan for the past 3 weeks. I have emptied out all of Ger's clothes, taken 90% of them to the outreach program at my church and have emptied off all the shelves and floor space. But when I take one thing off a shelf I need to put it some where else. If it's not going in a bag for the church WHERE is it going to go? And if it IS going in a bag for the church where is that bag going to go until I get it to the church?

I am moving things around here in a way that a champion chess player would admire. King to Bishop three or suitcase to closet one. Moving things from one space to another just makes me have to clean out another space. Right now my 2 bedroom closets are cleaned up and done. The problem is that the bedroom itself looks like a dump truck has emptied a dumpster in my room. The shoe shelves from the closet floor . . .  they are sitting at the bottom of  my bed next to the 3 church bags and my suitcase. The laundry that I did yesterday is still on H's sided of the bed because I couldn't get into the closet to put them away because the floor was covered with the contents of the cabinets under the sinks. (How could I clean the closet and not empty THAT messy space under the sinks.

But I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Too bad I have to stop tomorrow because I am having a friend sleep over and the guest bedroom is in worse shape than my room. I had been putting the twins birthday gifts in the guest room, along with Finn's birthday gifts AND Easter stuff ! All that has to come out of the guest room by tomorrow night and there is no room in my room so that means the mess is overflowing into the dining room. I can't put the stuff in the garage because THAT space is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  filled with crap from emptying the storage unit.

Maybe I will re-rent that storage unit and go live there. At least it will be empty and clean!

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS

Even though it is St. Patrick's Day I feel like Christopher Columbus discovering America.  This month has been a month of discovery for me.  First and foremost I discovered that the "mess" in the house is not caused by Husband. The man has not been here for an entire month and yet the mess continues to spread. It seems that after all these years of blaming the poor man for the clutter it is actually ME causing the piles on the dining room table, kitchen counter and bedroom floor. GO FIGURE ! I swear I thought it was H making the mess. Unless there are leprechauns sneaking into the house while I sleep there is no other explanation!    DAMN !

Discovery number two is that there is nothing that I can do with the bags and bags of medications that I have left from Husband's illness. Some of these cancer pills cost a fortune and yet no one wants them. Isn't there a third world country some where who would be delighted to get this stuff?  I have searched and searched the Internet and no where is there any information on donating medicine. The thought of throwing all this out just kills me. Unfortunately none of it is narcotics or I'd be supplementing my income big time. (Just kidding! . . .  you never know who is reading this.) I have vitamins, supplements of all sorts, stuff for neuropathy, thyroid medicine, pills to make you pee and pill to stop you from peeing. If anyone has any ideas please let me know before I take it all to the sheriff's department. Seems like a huge waste to me!

Another discovery I made is that I can give away all of Ger's clothes without shedding a tear but don't ask me to go through his coin collection without ending up a blubbering mass of snot! What the hell is that about? A bunch of quarters reduced me to tears today like you wouldn't believe. I even had to laugh at myself.

Discovery number four hundred and twenty seven is that I feel like a kid again except this time around I have more smarts and more money. Life has been mighty fine these weeks, even with missing H I am perfectly happy making daily discoveries and discovering all sorts of new things about myself. Like I really don't' HATE mornings as much as I thought, (mornings being anything between the hours of 8 &10),  I actually can take care of myself, I like going out with friends each day and blogging doesn't have to be a pity party on paper.

WHO KNEW ?

HONORING A REQUEST

Nothing profound here folks, just that I have had a request to blog more often so I have promised myself to sit down each night and bore you with the happenings of the day or any other random thoughts that should pop into this brain of mine. When I become so lame and dull that you prefer watching Fox News to reading my blog just blame my cousin Ann who has made this request.

I really should blog more often because it makes me think as opposed to cleaning closets or watching YouTube or surfing the Internet. The endless videos of little kittens and puppies could send any brain to an early death and cleaning out closets just makes me want to curl up and watch kittens and puppies. Hopefully blogging will keep my mind active so that when I am 100 and drooling into my slippers at least my brain will be functioning.

Speaking of my brain, I have got to tell you my brain has never felt so good! I am so at peace I am sleeping through the night without crazy dreams or waking 5 times to pee. I wake up between 8 & 9 and actually GET UP ! No more sleeping till 10 or 2, I am up and ready for any adventures that come my way. (Closet cleaning included!)  Yesterday, Sunday, I took the day off since I had been out and about every day last week. I puttered for a bit but really had no ambition to do anything productive. After my third nap I decided to turn on the TV and see what movies I could find. I spent the afternoon watching old movies and wrapping the twins first birthday gifts and Finn's 4th birthday gifts. I think I was tired from driving to Kent & Kristen's on Saturday and going to the Ft. Lauderdale St. Patrick's day parade. Smith had a ball collecting necklaces and candy that was thrown from the floats. Grey bounced her bottom off for 2 hours grinning from ear to ear at all the noise and excitement and Wynn hid his head and cried the first hour until he got used to the loud noises. The parade lasted 2 hours and had everything you could imagine in it including 2 huge camels !  First parade I have ever seen with camels! It was a fabulous day for a parade, sunny, hot but not too hot with a beautiful cool ocean breeze. FANTASTIC !

KAELIN & FINN BEFORE RETURNING HOME 4 WEEKS AGO

IRISH EYES ARE SMILING

GREY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE WE ARE

SMITH AND WYNN

AND I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BLOG AGAIN !

Since Husband passed away almost a month ago I have had no reason to blog.  Blogging was my vent for all the frustration that H caused me.  He was just being himself and I was being my self and never the roads shall meet.  At least that's how it felt at times.  When things got particularly crazy in my head I would turn to the computer, spew all my insanity on to the page and go on with my life.  Leaving you all wondering what was wrong with me!
And then Husband died ! No more confrontation in my life, no more anxiety, no more stress. Seriously. I am so at peace that I have nothing to write about!
Until today . . .
I have projects that are just waiting for me to get to them.  A life time of things I have put off in order to entertain H, travel, cook, clean, laundry, shop etc.  Now it's just me and if I don't feel like eating, I DON'T !  If the laundry has to wait for a week, who cares ! I have straightened up the house but if those dust bunnies want to play under my bed, have at it !  Now it is MY time to do what I want when I want.  And that's exactly what I am doing.  Out a lot, puttering a lot, watching movies, playing on the computer.  But there are those "projects" sitting silently waiting for my attention. Today I decided to attack my closet. Does anyone ever see my closet ? NO. Does it matter if all my shoes are neatly in a row? NO. But it is bugging me!  I WANT to get in there and tear out EVERYTHING, sort through the "fits" and "doesn't fit" clothes, purge myself of shoes I haven't worn in years and toss out junk ! First on the agenda was to rid myself of Ger's shoes and mine. My church has a wonderful ministry to care for the homeless. They feed them every Monday and collect clothing to distribute. Kaelin, Finn, Keri and I took bags of Ger's clothes to the church right after G died but there is still a bunch of stuff here. No one here wants their dad's shoes so I got a big cardboard box and started pulling out shoes.  THE MAN HAD MORE SHOES THAN ME !!  Who knew ???  Shoes stuffed in, under, around the closet totaling 11 pairs of shoes and sneakers! There should be some happy folks in West Palm Beach next week! (I only contributed 2 pair of shoes.) So now the shoes are gone and I can get rid of the shoe shelves that we had bought and placed in under the clothes. 4 shoe shelves moved out of the closet makes my closet look a hundred times bigger. But in back of the shelves are brackets screwed into the wall. Now I want to get rid of the brackets! Out to the garage I go knowing full well this is not a good idea. (The garage being the MAJOR project in my life that may take me the rest of my life to do.) I need a screw driver to get these brackets off the wall. I have bought Husband several electric screw drivers over our many years of marriage but I don't think he has ever used any of them. But now I want one . . .where to look, where to look. The logical place is the tool cabinets, (which I also bought for H with hopes he would organize the tools. HA HA HA HA HA !) An hour later I had organized the top drawer, wall containers and found 2 electric screw drivers, both of which were D E A D !! Naturally ! I picked up the small one only to find it was disgustingly sticky! The rubber, (plastic?) handle had weathered with the humidity and broken down to a horrid sticky mess. Luckily I knew where the "goo gone" was and was able to clean it up in a jiffy. Then I found the power pack, (once again something I had put away long ago for just such an occasion.) and plugged the thing in. That's when the smoke started billowing out of it . . .  As I suspected it was only the goo gone heating up so once I wiped it down again it did stop smoking. (But just in case I put the screw driver in a metal pan in the middle of the floor in the event it was going to blow up or catch fire.)
Now it is 4 hours since I first started the simple task of taking shoes out of the closet. They are still in the box in the closet and I am too tired to do much else. And besides,  it was a good opportunity to get back to blogging. No wonder I have projects !!