"ITS NOT EASY GETTING OLD"

A direct quote from my dearly departed mother in law . . .  "It's not easy getting old". . . To which we would always answer, "it's better than the alternative".   Guess what?  That is not always the case!  That smug, smart-ass remark is not true at all. Dear GOD in Heaven, I don't want to end up like these poor souls here in Chatsworth.
Chatsworth, that's where Ger is residing these days. Three meals a day, a clean bed to sleep in, physical therapy twice a day, all your medicines brought to you so you don't miss a pill, what more could you want?
FREEDOM! The ability to walk, the power to go where you want when you want, the dignity of going to the bathroom ALONE, of showering when you want ALONE, and the removal of pain so you can walk and talk without a care.
All that comes with getting OLD.
These poor souls residing here in the beautiful facility have got to wonder how this happened to them. One minute they were young and vibrant, full of life and suddenly they can't get out of the wheel chair they find themselves in. Why won't their hands stop shaking? Why can't they remember where they are or even who they are? Why is it that when they tell someone they have to go to the bathroom no one comes to their aid? Why do they need help to go to the bathroom? How did they get here? AND WHERE THE HELL IS "HERE" ?
I am up and down these halls all day, getting things for Ger, taking him to and from whatever and there are always little old people sitting in their wheel chairs in the hall ways. They light up when I stop to talk with them. All they want is to be SEEN ! For someone to acknowledge that they do indeed still exist. It must be so horrible to be "alive" but "invisible" to the world. Every day exactly the same as the day before. Friends are all dead, family lives too far away and even if they did live close the aren't with you all the time. They can't be, they are YOUNG and have lives. They will never be old, of course not. Who of us ever thought we would be old, sitting alone, wondering where our life went? How does this happen? I just keep asking myself that question over and over and there is no answer. One minute we were young and the next we are old. OLD, OLD OLD !
Not just the sort of grey hair and wrinkles old, this is the old that precedes death and dying. For sure that is not something we like to think about. Suddenly YOU are THAT person everyone is talking about . . .  You know, that guy whose name is said in hushed tones because HE may be dying. "The poor guy has lung cancer", "She fell and that was the beginning of the end for her", "But he is so young" or "well, he had a good long life". We've all said something like that about that other person but never thought someone would be saying it about us. We all think we are just going to go to sleep some night and not wake up but it doesn't work that way. Getting old and dying is HARD work ! Hell, just the getting old part is tough shit. My Body doesn't do what I want it to do when I want it. It has a mind of its own and that mind is insane!
Grandma Rita was right, "It's not easy getting old."

GIFTS OF ANGELS - GIFTS OF LOVE

I am reduced to a puddeling mass of tears by the words, "I LOVE YOU".  Best Christmas gift ever was just given to me by my first born child. Kyle doesn't go for the warm fuzzies in life. He has an analytical mind and is not comfortable with emotions. But today he was talking to me on the phone and just ever so quietly slipped in, "I love you" as we ended the call. I am now one hot mess knowing that  my boy really doe love me. Not that  I ever think he doesn't love me but we don't throw those words around as easily as I do Keri and Kent. I always felt I did something wrong as a mother raising my first child.  I loved him with all my heart but don't think I showed it as easily as I did with the other two kids. What ever . . . . When Kyle says I love you it is something VERY VERY special !

That is just one of the many Christmas gifts God is giving me this year. It's a different Christmas for sure being alone here in the house, spending days running back and forth to the rehab facility trying to help Ger strengthen. I am slowly learning to accept what IS and stop trying to make things "normal". Right now things are NOT normal. And that is OK. God has my back and is filling my life with so much love and strength from friends and family.

Yesterday my nephew Brian called to say he was in town with his 3 AWESOME children, could they come over?  YES YES YES and the next thing my home was filled with laughter and joy, silliness and fun.  BEST GIFT EVER !!!!   I adore these kids who always make me feel so loved, even when they cheat at the board game we were playing. (That just adds to all the fun!) Thank you my loves for spending the evening with me!

Then there is Mary Lou who just entered my life a week or so back. We had a chair we wanted to get rid of. D-I-L Bridget took pictures, posted it on "Craig's list" and got the ball rolling. Mary Lou called and suddenly I found myself part of this wonderful woman's life and family. She brought her 2 beautiful daughters, dinner for me and a ton of delicious cookies with her to pick up the chair yesterday. Brian helped them load the chair in the car and his kids ate all the cookies !  So many laughs, so much love and Mary Lou will probably be part of my life for years to come.

God does work in mysterious ways.  I see his hand in my life every minute of every day and I THANK GOD for all His love and support.  I asked God to help me through this rough time and boy OH boy has HE come through with HIS love BIG TIME !!!!

A CHRISTMAS BLOG

Sorry folks but I just don't have it in me to write Christmas cards this year. Instead I will bore you with all the family up dates on my blog so you can choose to read this or not.
 I know when those "Christmas Letters" arrive there is a sense of obligation to read them.  After all, the person sending them took the time to gather thoughts and pictures, compile it into a lovely printed page, took time to fold the letters and place them in a Christmas card, addressed the envelopes and paid the USPS to deliver them to your home. I, on the other hand am sitting in the car dealer waiting for my car to be serviced so you are under no obligation I to read this.

2014. . .  Can't believe we are 14 years into this century and still all here to talk about it. I often reflect on the hype at the turn of the century and yet we are all chugging along just as we have in years past. And chugging we are !  Gerry is the poster boy for that. Last January his lung cancer was in remission and we thought he had beat this nasty disease. Then he had a PET scan during the summer that showed the lung cancer was back big time. This put him at a stage 4 cancer level which really knocked the wind out of our sails. We took it in stride but I think both of us were more shaken up by this than we realized at the time. Ger went into the hospital for 5 days for a lung biopsy (he had some complications with the recovery) and is now back on a different chemo regime which includes infusion every 3 weeks and a daily cancer pill. His system tolerates the chemo extremely well and he is responding very well. His side issues of bladder problems seem to have all evened out so he is usually feeling pretty good.  Lots of fatigue and occasional balance problems keep him staying close to home. He is in good spirits and we are always laughing at something he does or fails to do.
I'm taking good care of the old boy and myself. Occasional adventures with friends and weekly sessions with a fantastic therapist keep me going. Grand kids are at the top of my list for staying young at heart and happy.
Kent and family are in Pompano, only about a half hour south of us. The twins are now 9 months old and are hysterical. They are moving around and Grey seems determined to walk while her brother, Wynn seems quite content to just sit and watch her.  What a joy to see these two little ones growing up before our eyes. Big brother Smith is fantastic with them and a huge help for mom and dad. Kent and Kristen are so sleep deprived it's a wonder they can function but both of them are doing a wonderful job of parenting. Two months ago Kristen was out in Texas for a weekend for her sisters wedding. Grey got to go to Aunt Bries wedding but the boys stayed home. A few weeks ago Kent was in San Francisco D.J ing at a club who invited him out to play. A great boost to his ego and a nice break from teaching and parenting. The twins are in day care, Kristen drops them off each morning. Smith is attending pre K at Kent's school so the two of them travel together and bring the twins home with them at the end of the school day. It's hectic and crazy, I don't know how they do it.
Keri and family are doing wonderfully up in Maryland.  Steve's business is exploding! He is an amazing business man, husband and dad. The family is enjoying Keri being a stay at home mom. She is always on the go with helping in Finn's pre school, being class mom for Kaelin's first grade and taking on Kaelin's Daisy Girl Scout troop. There are endless stories of their adventures which they share daily thanks to face time!  There is nothing better than picking up the phone to hears the squeals of delight from Kaelin and Finn. God bless technology !
Kyle and his family are enjoying life in Atlanta. They really seem to be enjoying their big new house which Ger and I finally got to see in May. It was the only trip Ger and I have taken in a long while but well worth the drive. The house is amazing with lots of room for Abby and all her Build a Bears and American girl dolls, Roman and all his video games and the two Guinea pigs.  The kids are doing well in school, both playing basket ball and Abby still involved in Girl Scouts. Bridget is still enjoying working part time and Kyle's travel is limited to the U.S. Both of them are very happy with
their jobs and life back in Atlanta.

And that's it for 2014. We trust God will continue to bless us with the joy of family and friends. The rest is just part of life and we'll take it day by day. Best wishes to all. Health, Happiness and Peace for the holidays and the New Year.
Love, Cath & Ger      

P.S.  As of today, December 19, Ger is in a rehab facility hoping to get stronger before he comes home. This past Sunday I had to call the paramedics to take G to the hospital ER because of extreme weakness and some confusion. They pumped him with bags of fluids but also found that he had an infection some where in his body. He was admitted to the hospital for 5 days of intravenous antibiotics. (At one point he was receiving 5 different antibiotics.) Yesterday he was released to a rehab facility where he will be for a "few" days until he can manage to walk on his own. The place is beautiful so we are "pretending" we are on a cruise ship enjoying 2 meals a day together while he works on regaining his strength. The facility is 10 minutes from home so I can run back and forth with ease.

Bridget, Abby, Kyle & Roman

Wynn, Grandpa & Grey

Kent, Kristen, Grey, Wynn & Smith

Grey & Kristen

Halloween Super Hero twins

My Man Smith

Diva Grey

My little man Finn

Princess Kaelin on her 6th birthday

Silly Sister Kaelin dresses up her brother Finn

Smith on his 4th birthday

Keri & Steve on their 10th anniversary

Roman & "Lady Gaga"

Abby

Kaelin, Keri & Finn

NEW GAME SHOW IDEA

Here I am at 4:30 in the morning coughing my brains out so I can't sleep so I gave up to wander the house.  This is the time of the night when my creative juices are running rampant but I can't DO anything because Husband is sleeping. I decided I'd get up and wrap some Christmas gifts that have to be delivered to the church tonight and that was when the epithany slapped me up side my head!

A GAME SHOW FOR MEN TITLED . . .     "WRAP IT !"    . . .
A man would be selected from the audience to come up on stage. There he would stand behind a table on which were placed a scissor, an empty tape dispenser, a roll of tape still in its packaging and a roll of wrapping paper. He man would start out with the $100 gift. Given an allotted amount of time he would be required to load the tape dispenser, cut the paper to the correct size and then wrap an item. Being the lowest prize amount the item to be wrapped would be fairly simple, such as a shoe box, a box of cereal or some other item with four straight sides. The challenge at this level is of course the TAPE DISPENSER. I have yet to meet a man who could place a new roll of tape into the dispenser without the assistance of a woman. (I know you're out there guys, I just haven't seen it yet. I'm just going by the man I live with so I'm just saying.)
If the contestant completes the challenge in the given amount of time the challenge gets harder. The next item might be a book. It is still fairly easy but there are those 3 sides that aren't really flat. BIG PROBLEM!  Once the book has been conquered the items to be wrapped get increasingly more difficult. Like footballs, roller skates, ping pong paddle, a mug and the most dreaded item of all, a big stuffed teddy bear!
If we really wanted to make it insanely difficult we could switch out the regular wrapping paper with
Foil paper, or cellophane or even the dreaded tissue paper.
I would pay to watch this !
Having it going on in real life at my dining room table is quite another story. God love H but he has got to be THE WORLDS WORST GIFT WRAPPER. He tries so hard but there are more scraps of paper left over after he wraps something because he keeps "trimming" the paper. So much so that he "trims" his paper so much he has to then cut a new piece because the "trimmed" one no longer fits. H wrapped two (2) things for me today in the time it took me to make dinner, put in a load of wash and empty the dishwasher. One was a remote controlled car IN A BOX, the other was a book. He was totally exhausted by this but so very happy he was "helping". And a help he was! He would not have won any prizes on that game show but he did save me the two minutes that it would have taken me to wrap those gifts and he felt good.
On the serious side, there isn't too much H can help with these days. Not that he was ever a winner in that department but he would try. Now a days H is pretty much limited to bringing in the mail. Around here that is HUGE because by the time the mail arrives I am usually up to my elbows in something and looking a mess. Rather than frightening the neighbors by me going out H takes his daily meander down the driveway with an occasional chat with a passing neighbor. He does MUCH better with all that than with gift wrapping.

MY DOIN' DAYS ARE DONE !

Doing takes effort and I am pretty low on that these days. Doing used to be good but then I got old and I don't want to do anything, or anyone for that matter. (Well, if Hugh Jackman were available . . .)
Nah, probably not even then. Ironically it is all this "doing" that has got me so worn out.
There's DOING LAUNDRY, DOING THE SHOPPING, DOING THE HOUSE CLEANING, DOING THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, ETC !  You get the picture.
That simple little phrase "to do" is so loaded with levels and levels of action that are exhausting. Let's take , "I'm going to DO the laundry".  Simple, right?  NOT !  We begin with the gathering of the laundry, which, technically should be a mans job since men were created to be the hunters and when it comes to "gathering " laundry it is in fact a HUNT. Because even though there is the very efficient, dual laundry container ON WHEELS sitting in the closet the laundry never is in it. So simple, thought I, when I bought this container. Two sections, one for whites, one for colors. But then I bought H some underwear in colors. Problem! Will they go in the hot water/white section or in the warm water/color section?  Rather than attempt to process this H chooses to just leave his underwear AROUND. So now we enter the HUNT phase. Most can be found near the laundry container but there could also be some socks under the bed, or in the bathroom or on rare occasions on the floor of the den next to Husbands recliner. Once the hunt for underwear is over the hunt for anything else begins. Towels could be anywhere, pool towels especially have a wanderlust and are often found in the oddest places. Kitchen towels are more home bodies and tend to hang out some where on the counter tops or at least close to them. Husbands handkerchiefs have a life of their own and have been know to travel great distances, turning up in the pool or even a shoe. Gathering laundry can be exhausting and we have several more steps to go.
The actual washing of the clothes is a piece of cake. Stuff it in the washer, add detergent, turn the water on, close the lid and pray the washer will last for at least one more load. As it spins its final rinse and walks across the floor of the laundry room because the load was off balance I now discover there is still "old" laundry in the dryer. That has to come out so the new wet stuff can go in but don't forget to clean the filter on the dryer because the last load had a fleece blanket in it and I now have enough lint to stuff a queen size mattress. Old stuff out, new stuff in and now it's time to sort, fold, iron. I HATE THIS PART ! Sorting laundry is one of the most boring jobs in the world. Pull it out, shake it out, fold it, put it away! UGH !  I never get away with it being that simple. As I walk into the closet to put something in there I see that there are shirts hanging off the shelf, thrown there to be put away another time? I pull them down and realize they need ironing so now I have to drag out the ironing board and iron to stand there pressing the shirts which once I am just about done I realize they have a stain on them and were not needing to be hung up but rather were in need of washing !
This is the point when I put my bathing suit on and go out to sit by the pool and day dream about doing . . .  NOTHING !

"STUFFIES" FOR GROWN - UPS

Have you seen the TV commercials for "Stuffies" ?  They play often on Fox News channel which says something to me but I'm not exactly sure what that message is.  "Stuffies" are large stuffed things, (animals), that have all sorts of pockets and pouches in which your child can stuff their pajamas, blanket, pillow, younger siblings, last nights dinner and the family dog or cat.
Kids are natural "STUFFERS" as any parent who has ever said, "Clean your room", knows. Kids do NOT put things away, they stuff them out of sight. Thus the evolution of "Stuffies". Instead of under the bed or in the pillow case kids now have an official and accepted place to put their stuff.

I WANT A STUFFIE !     I'm thinking I could be on to something here. Picture a LARGE flesh colored stuffie in the shape of a BUTT !  Picture where the opening is on this particular model and then picture stuffing all your S--- into said stuffie when you have guests coming on short notice or are just in a mood to remove the clutter.  Better yet, picture the stuffie that comes with little rag dolls that represent the various members of your family and when one of those family members pisses you off you have a large fist shaped stick that you can use to stuff the doll into the butt! Over and over again !
Or how about a stuffie in the shape of a toilet and you can just stuff anything you are angry with into that toilet stuffie with the handy plunger shaped stick. For a few dollars more this model could be created with an automatic "FLUSH" sound to make the experience even more satisfying.
Say you have some anger issues here that need addressing. You might want the deluxe incinerator stuffie that belches smoke and flames as you stuff all your egg shaped "anger pods" into it. Just write down on a piece of paper whatever it is that is making you nuts, place it inside the pod and ram it into that inferno until your anger subsides.

I think I feel better just envisioning this. The idea is not patented so I'm sure it will be on the market in the near future.

MY OCD THANKSGIVING

Let me start out by saying this Thanksgiving was one of the best ! Family was here, fun was had and there were lots of laughs and great food.  Grand pa was feeling fantastic enjoying the company and attention of Abby and Roman.
Grand ma had a WONDERFUL time even though my OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER kicked up a notch. It seems I have always been Obsessive, as in keeping my room "organized". I'm not saying clean, I'm just saying "organized".  There is a HUGE difference.  It may be a mess but it is MY mess and I can find everything I need.  The compulsive side shows up in my need to do it all my self ! As husband has said for 45 years, I HAVE to be in charge and I HAVE to be right, and I AM bossy. I never gave a name to all this but OCD does seem to fit the picture.
SO . . .  bring in some super efficient and capable young adults in the form of oldest son Kyle and his wonderful wife Bridget, put them in MY KITCHEN and grand ma goes into shock. It took all my will power to just sit back and LET THEM DO !  Dinner was fabulous ! I DID NOTHING !  I sat and watched the parade for the first time in 41 years, I snuggled with Abby, crawled on the floor with Wynn and Grey, chatted with Kristen and Kent, laughed and played with Roman and Smith and just had the most fun ever !  All the while telling myself "LEAVE THE 'KIDS' (Kyle and Bridget) ALONE.  Just because they didn't do the mashed potatoes MY way, the potatoes were fabulous.  The turkey was yummy and there wasn't a TON of left overs that I would have ended up throwing out 3 months from now.  There was the PERFECT amount left over. My hands itched at wanting to be in the kitchen cooking but I FOUGHT IT AND WON !!!
I guess I really do have an obsessive/compulsive disorder after all because it really WAS an internal battle to LET GO !  Go figure someone else can do as good as. IF NOT BETTER than me !! This  may be the beginning of a wonderful discovery.

THANKS KYLE AND BRIDGET FOR ALL YOU DID !!!!!!

I LOVE MY CLEANING LADIES

Angels come in all sizes and shapes, even in the form of a cleaning lady. Thank you Isabelle and Ingy for making my life so much easier and for forcing me to pick up the clutter every two weeks before you arrive. If it wasn't for you my house would be piled high with plastic beer cups, (even though we never drink beer any more but they work great for water too.), odd lone socks strewn everywhere, news papers piled high, and STUFF !  The clutter has a life of its own and if it wasn't for the cleaning ladies the clutter would soon take over the house. I still have some of the Halloween decorations around with no interest in packing them up except that I will need the room for the Christmas decorations.
Today the cleaning ladies arrived while I was out so they not only got to clean my house but they got to keep watch over Ger while I was out. The ladies chased Ger from room to room, but did not realize that was happening. I called Ger twice while I was out and he was in a different room each time I called. He didn't want to be in the way of the ladies so he was trying to find a place where he was out of the way. How come he never does that for me? He never c ares if he is right in the middle of what I'm doing !  But in spite of this the ladies did a fantastic job of cleaning. They even clean the INSIDE of my microwave and toaster oven. I think they may have cleaned my oven but that would take a stick of dynamite and a jack hammer.
The ladies are good and I am thankful I can afford this luxury. I wonder if they put up Christmas lights?

THE POWER OF BATS

Once again I have to make a case for DIVINE INTERVENTION. You will never convince me that GOD does not have a hand in my life. Even if it comes through THE BAT MEN !

Yes, the bats are back and H is in a tizzy. Cancer and all the man is more upset over the fact that there are bats in our belfry, so to speak, than the fact that he can't walk ten steps without falling over.
Several visitors have mentioned that they can hear the bats when sitting on our lanai. Others can smell them, yuck. And still others see them hiding behind the rain gutters. I have failed at all three of these but trusting our friends and family I called THE BAT MEN. This is a company called DPS. They capture and dispose of wildlife that decides to take up residence in places that are not wild. Usually they deal in skunks, opossum, raccoons and fox but they also take care of bats. If you remember from my previous postings about the bat population residing on my house you might recall that bats are a protected species and can not be captured. They have to be evicted and allowed to find a new residence on their own. I purchased two bat houses and called DPS. Mike arrived all happy to see us again. He remembered us from his last visit about a year ago and was very glad to see Ger still alive and kicking. Mike informed us we had a huge colony of bats so he would return later in the week with his partner in crime.
This is where it gets interesting . . .
Mike and Tony arrived one morning to set up the bat evacuation but since Mike loves to talk we first sat down to chat for a while. Ger was still sleeping so the conversation started with Ger's health. Tony knew all about us, having been brought up to speed by Mike. Naturally the conversation came around to religion and thoughts and beliefs about God's intervention with death and dying. Tony told his life story of being a catholic as a child but finding a wonderful church in Florida that has become his and his wife's home. He is a "minister" in his church and Mike is one of the parishioners. These two men are so spiritual and filled with love and support for Ger and I that it can only be explained by knowing the Lord had something to do with bringing these guys into our lives at this time. Two hours later the guys got working on the bats.
Tony and Mike showed up this morning to check the evacuation site and took time to have a prayer circle with me. As Tony prayed for Ger and I , I couldn't help but thank God for all his support during this time. Just when I think I can't do this any more something like this happenes and I am renewed and refreshed.
And to top it all off we went to the oncologist today and she said the Cancer was receding a bit so the chemo is working again.
Thank God !  And thank the bats too !

JUST DRINK THE DAMN WATER

Left the house today at 1:00 and returned home at 5:15. Thirty minutes for travel and radiation treatment, total, twenty minutes for a stop at the deli to get Ger a HOT DOG, because he eats so very nutritiously in order to help himself battle Cancer and then three full hours sitting in chemo waiting for the FLUIDS to drip, drip, drip, drip into Husband's body because he WILL NOT DRINK !
I continue to bang my head on the wall, literally, over the sheer stubbornness of this man. I bring bottles of juice wherever we go . . .   He will not drink!  I hand him bottles of water and he refuses to take them. He gets nasty and sarcastic, he behaves like a spoiled two year of but he will NOT drink the damn fluids.
I really could care less if he chooses to be a stubborn idiot but I loose three hours of my day sitting on a very hard uncomfortable chair watching him sleep in the comfy recliner. I did not plan on staying today. I was going to go to SAMs Club to get gas and groceries but the doctor said she wanted to talk with us so there I sat doing nothing and cursing the entire time.
Now the cursing is becoming more common place with each passing day. I have to go to confession just for the swearing I did last night when H woke me from a single no sleep by falling getting out of bed and crashing into the night table. I had just fallen asleep and woke up with such a start screaming the Lords name in vain!
But I figure after all these years of swearing at H I am bound for Hell anyway so what's a few more curses here and there.
Oh, and then there was the ten minutes of cleaning up the full glass of water that was spilled when H fell. If he would only drink the damn water I wouldn't have anything to clean up !

BUT HOW ARE 'YOU' DOING ?

Thank you all my dear loved ones for asking that question. " but Cathie, how are you doing ?"  Said with love and true concern I really do appreciate your concern for me BUT right about now I want to answer, " How the "F" do you think I'm doing??????"  Husband is fading away right before my eyes. He is aging a year each day. He is cranky, (rightfully so), he is angry, (rightfully so), and he is an all around pain in the ass two year old who needs his "mommy" .  He is dying of Cancer. He falls down A LOT. His self respect has gone to hell in a hand basket and all semblance of dignity and privacy are long gone. He needs help but, Ger being who he is, will not ask for help and gets quite angry when help is offered. He is like a rabid dog biting at his owner's hand. What is he supposed to do when he finds himself on the floor at 2 AM needing to get to the bathroom. His pride kicks in so he gets angry.

I thought that God had given us this trial to make us stronger and bring us closer together but now I'm not so sure. Is He trying to break us down to our very core where we are stripped of all our stupid faults and are laid open to our true spirit? Frightening thought at what I REALLY am once all the veils and shadows are gone.

Who knows?  All I know is I'm doing the best I can, taking care of myself with a class on meditation,  coffee with a friend, therapist, massages and lots of laughter with the grand kids.  Will I survive this in tact?  Of course !   I have lots to live for and if I have survived husband for these past 46 years, what's a little Cancer ?

JUST HOW STUPID AM I ???

As I sit her with my head hanging over the toilet bowl I would say the answer to that question is pretty obvious. REALLY REALLY REALLY STUPID !
Back in my younger days there were a few occasions where I found myself in this very same spot thanks to drinking too much. But as bad as that is at least you have a buzz on so it really doesn't seem all that bad. But now I am older and I don't drink all that much so I haven't been hanging out over the toilet in quite a few years.
And in all those years I have learned that eating too much greasy food when you no longer have a Gaul bladder to help process said food is NOT a good idea.
So where was my brain tonight when I ate that delicious medium rare cheeseburger, those crisp French fries AND the extremely greasy onion rings? What the hell was I doing? What the hell was I thinking? Where was my brain?
GONE . . . . MY BRAIN HAS LEFT THE BUILDING !  If only the rings would leave my stomach.
I can't lie down because EVERYTHING quickly heads up from my stomach. Yet when I sit here hanging out in the bathroom, at almost midnight, nothing wants to vacate the premises. I guess I am doomed to sit here for the night watching old episodes of Walking Dead. If that doesn't make me toss my dinner nothing will. (Kent and Kristen got me hooked on that show. The Zombies are really stupid but I like the show any way. )
All I keep thinking about is how tired I am and the fact that I have to be up at 9 tomorrow.  But there will be no sleeping for quite some time tonight. I've tried all my usual remedies and so far nothing is working. Now I understand why gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. When you are a glutton you wish you were dead!
BURP !

FUN WITH FUNERALS

I don't have. Problem with funerals. Or death or dying . It's a fact of life, no one gets away without experiencing it and you don't know the day or time.  I kind of like that. It's like a good mystery where you just can't figure out the ending and then WHAM it hits you up side your head and you go, "Holy crap, I didn't see that coming."   It's gonna happen whether you like it or not so why worry about it!
At some point we will all, "Lay with the worms", "kick the bucket", get lost, as in "I lost my wife last year".  I always want to ask if they looked for her or just let her stay "lost".  And once we have DEPARTED, dearly or otherwise, we will be mourned, (hopefully) for a short while by those we leave behind. Our family and friends will gather some where, a funeral parlor, some one's home, a place of worship and share stories of the person who has "passed". (This will be one of the few times I "passed " anything. Dying has got to be a lot easier than geometry.) The stories will probably be funny and bring smiles to those who knew the departed. Alcohol should most definitely be served in order to jog the memories. There should be lots of laughter mixed with the sadness of knowing you will not be laughing WITH this person whose life you now celebrate.

And so, with all this in mind Husband and I went to a local funeral home this week and pre-paid our funerals. WE HAD FUN !  It took forever for just the basics so we didn't even get to the fun part of choosing our flowers and music and verses. We just signed a bunch of forms and agreed to pay a lot of money so that our children do not have to do this once we croak. We found out how many children the business associate of the funeral home has, how many grand kids and that her husband is not only a preacher but an AVID Fox News fan. Two and a half hours later we left and went to celebrate over lunch. When relaying our days adventure D-I-L, Kristen she was horrified that we did this without being thrown into a state of depression, Keri was grossed out but relieved and thankful that we had taken care of this, and various other friends and family had differing reactions.

As I explained to all, Hey, we're Irish and there is nothing an Irishman loves more than a good reason to get drunk and party. And funerals are right up there at the top of the list of good reasons to party! So keep this blog in mind and when it is my turn to kick the proverbial bucket be sure you show up to tell stories, laugh and have a good time. You never know when it will be your turn so party while you can.

HAPPY DREAMS

I would very much like to go to bed some night and close my eyes and fall sound asleep with in minutes, Just like Husband !  How lovely it would be to close my eyes and have my brain turn off at the same time.  How lovely it would be not to be laying there for an hour or more planning the next day.
When H got cancer and his chemo brain kicked in I bought a small white board that we stuck on the bedroom wall right across from H's side of the bed. Each night when we go to bed I write on it whatever is on "our schedule" for the next day.  (The joke is OUR schedule since H doesn't have a clue and just goes where ever I go.)  All day today H kept asking me what day today was. And then after finding out it was Monday, (for the umpteenth time), he would tell me he has NOTHING on the calendar for Tuesday.  As I stood at the white board tonight listing ALL the things that were going on tomorrow I realized that the board was actually for me to keep track of the days events.
The fact that the repair man is coming to fix "our" wall oven makes no difference to H. As long as there has been dinner in front of him the past week and a half he could care less the lengths I have gone to to prepare the food.  Having the toaster oven die at the same time as the big oven really did present quite a challenge.
The fact that the cleaning ladies are coming tomorrow only involves H because there is a 2 hour time slot that he has to leave his chair and turn off Fox News. The fact that these two saints will come into our home and clean the mess that we are living in and more importantly disinfect the bathroom comes as no interest to H.  I will kiss their feet and pay them double to enter that bathroom after 2 weeks of H using it !
I will go to bed tonight with the phone next to my bed so I can get the call in the morning telling me what time the repair man will get here. I'll have to call the gate to let them in and then go "pre" clean the kitchen so the men can find the oven. Then it's on to picking up the news papers all around H's chair, getting the dishes out of the sink, putting away all the clothes H has strewn around the bed room and in general get the house cleaned up for the cleaning ladies.

With all this is rattling around in my brain as I get ready for bed it will take me an hour or so to settle down as I mentally add to the "TO DO" list for the morning.  But it really doesn't matter that all this is keeping me awake because I can't sleep anyway thanks to H's  snoring !

THE MISSING LINK

Once again I am referring to Husband. The poor thing!  Once again I sit here in total amazement at the things he says and does and wonder WHAT goes on inside his brain !

We have definitely established the man has a brain. After countless "brain" scans the doctors can see that H does indeed possess something inside his skull other than cotton fluff. It appears to be a functioning "organ" but I really do wonder.

Then this morning it hit me, H is the missing link between cave man and human being. Somewhere along the line of evolution the cave man developed a thinking process and went from eating flesh off a woolly mammoth to processing that flesh, cooking it and using a knife and a fork. I assume it was around this time that "civilized" man started wearing clothes and peeing in a toilet.

Having a husband who seems to be having trouble with all of the above " Civilized" actions I have come to the conclusion that he is indeed the missing link. Seeing how I need an explanation for H's recent bizarre behavior MISSING LINK is as reasonable as any other explanation. THINKING is a key word here. I fail to see any attempt on H's part to separate necessity from frivle. (That which is NOT necessary. This includes sitting in front of Fox News and picking ones nose. Both of which H can do simultaneously to an expert degree.) Necessity includes feeding ones' self, peeing IN a toilet and dressing in CLEAN, dry clothes. We could include shaving every so often so that one does not look like Santa on a binge and brushing teeth at least ONCE a day. (I would prefer both those actions be taken a lot more often but I'll take what I can get!)

And then there is the whole eating thing. I made a chicken roast yesterday that I had bought at Sam's club.  One of those wonderful pre-cooked things that just take minutes to heat.  It was chicken stuffed with artichoke hearts, spinach and cheese.  It was delicious! True to form Husband asked 

"What's in this" and true to form I didn't quite lie, I just omitted mentioning the artichoke hearts. Heaven forbid H should eat anything healthy. It wasn't until one of the kids mentioned artichoke hearts that H did a double take and a good look at his plate. Up to that point he was quite happy eating what was in front of him. He did not mention any odd tastes or textures and was actually enjoying his dinner.   His plate was nearly empty when the horrific word ARTICHOKE was mentioned. At that point H completely stopped eating and refused another bite.

SERIOUSLY ??????  

The man is a neanderthal and I have the "pleasure" of living with him.  Now I know why cave women looked as bad as they did and would travel miles and miles ALONE on the pretense of gathering berries.  I'd rather chance the attack of a rabid saber tooth tiger than put up with this shit !  

WHAT IS THIS GOOEY MESS ? REALLY ?

I'm talking here SALT WATER TAFFY . . .  Who invented this disgusting stuff ?  And WHY ?

I know there is a dentist behind this invention.  Hell, lets make something that will pull out all existing fillings and remain stuck to the teeth long after a person is finished eating it.  Actually, you are never finished with taffy because it stays stuck on and in and between your teeth for months after so you are continuously finding small pieces to chew on long after the initial ingestion.  And those pieces you don't find remain there creating a lovely nesting place for plaque and germs to make new cavities for you.  It's a gold mine for dentists.

And if it wasn't a dentist who created this goo who the hell was the inventor ? I would like to smack him up side his head with a wad of week old taffy.

Every souvenir shop and gift shop in the world sells this stuff.  Thousands of miles from the sea you find SALT WATER taffy. Is someone shipping in gallons of salt water in order to make this stuff?  And who the hell BUYS it ? Have you EVER found a person who says, "OOOOH, SALT WATER TAFFY! I LOVE THAT STUFF MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!"   NO!  I don't think so.  Are the "Taffy-a-holics" like chocoholics ?  NO, Again, I don't think so.  The stuffy is just plain NASTY!  And what about the fact that it comes in "flavors" ?  Sorry to tell you but to me the chocolate tastes like the coffee which tastes like the strawberry. Nasty is Nasty no matter what label you put on the wrapper.

Heaven forbid you don't eat the gunk immediately because once the box is opened the air starts to harden those little tidbits of goo. The longer it remains in the box the stickier and harder it gets.  But before it hardens it goes through the SOFT and gooey stage so that when you try to unwrap the stuff it sticks to the paper, your fingers, your hair, your clothes and all furniture within a 20 foot radius.
If you think giving peanut butter to your dog is hilarious try giving taffy to a toddler.  Best entertainment EVER !

Can you tell I don't like taffy ?  Never did, never will.   Give me some good old fashioned chocolate any day and keep the taffy for sticking photos on your fridge or plugging up holes in cement.

This blog was inspired by my recent trip to MD. The airports ALL sell adorable containers of taffy.  I have never seen anyone buy any but there they are on display. I chuckled to myself when I arrived home to find that Ger's brother had brought Ger a box of SALT WATER TAFFY !  It figures that Husband actually likes this stuff.  Just what he needs !

WORDS OF WISDOM OR NOT

Hey Children of mine . . .  here's a few things I want to share with you, just in case you haven't figured it out for yourselves yet.
The is NO "ME" in marriage. And there is even less "ME" once you have children.  From the minute you said, "I DO" you gave up every ounce of self and became WE, US, TWO, A TEAM, PARTNERS, etc.
Every so often you get the illusion of SELF but that's all it is, an illusion.  No matter what time you make to "Do YOUR thing" you never really are alone.  There is always that other person at home who is going to ask how your day was, did you have a  good time, what did you do today, where were you ???????  You are answering to someone ALL the time. Remember those college days when you were out till dawn and no one cared? That was real freedom, even though you had to make it to that damn 8AM class you still didn't have to answer to anyone.
All the "care" and "concern" from your spouse come under the heading of "LOVE" but it is really just having to share your life with someone else.  That is a good thing at times but it wears pretty thin as the years go by.
And if you haven't given up enough of yourself you then go and have children! Children are AWESOME, don't get me wrong but you now have NO CHANCE of being a person. Once you have a child your life is not your own EVER !  Those long hot baths . . .  GONE !  Talking on the phone to your BFF, NOT HAPPENING !! (This is a tricky one, especially with our wonderful i phones that can go any where with us but are you really telling me that you are enjoying that conversation while driving 2 screaming kids to the park?)  If you answered YES to that question you are doing something really really wrong because once you have children THE KIDS COME FIRST !  ( We are like mommy lions who will kill and eat anyone who gets between us and our child. If someone gets between me and my husband I will probably push him toward them but the kids are a different story. )
I Love when I hear this next generation talking about getting some "TOGETHER" time.  Time away from the children, time to yourselves. NOT !  That is not part of the parent package.  Have Kids, Give up your life.  Yea it sucks but that's the way it works.  These kids don't raise themselves. They don't learn responsibility, morals, good judgement and leadership by themselves. They need you there 24/7 whether you like it or not.  Maybe you will get to go out to dinner once a month, maybe even a movie but for the most part the minute you got pregnant you signed on for the long haul.
AND IT IS A LONG LONG LONG LONG HAUL !    No more ME, just US . . .

And some day when the kids are all grown and raising families of their own and trying to get some "ME" time you can laugh and tell them how tough it really is but how very worth their while if they do it right. There's plenty of time for ME when you die, right now you have a job to do so do it to the very best of your ability.  I did and I am proud of all of you !  Now it's your turn.

A COBE IN MY NODE

I haven't been "sick" in several years. I have been achy and "old" and cranky but I have not had a cold or flu in probably over 10 years. Not since we moved from New York.  Oh wait, I take that back. There was the year we went to Maryland and I caught the flu and had to fly home wearing a surgical mask because I was soooooooooooo sick.  Remember, that was the time we discovered the trick to getting a complete row of seats ALL to yourself!  So, I stand corrected, it has only been a couple of years since I was sick but it seems like ages ago.  And for sure I did not have my Florida friend Carol in my life to heal me with her Jewish Penicillin.

Last weekend we had Smith up here for our fun and fabulous weekend at the zoo.  He was so much fun in spite of the green boogers that appeared every time we went into the pool.  His sinuses did a great job of holding the snot until they got a little pool water in there to flush them out. Green boogers are never good and they spread their nasty little germs through Smiths body and into mine. My poor little man was home all week feeling really down. His parents took him to the doctor when he fell asleep on the couch. You always know there is something REALLY wrong when your 3 year old boy falls asleep on the couch in the middle of the day while watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while his sister and brother scream for their bottles. His doctor said it was just a cold, give him so children's Motrin for the fever and ride it out.  He slept a lot and was feeling up to going to camp on Friday.

Grandma made it through the rather sucky week fighting a cold that I actually thought was allergies so I did NOT take any Zicam and then WHAM, got hit with the full fury of the cold on Saturday when I went to the walk-in and got prescriptions for and ear AND sinus infection.  I have been sleep since.

I feel the need to write about this because my Jewish nurse and several other folks have been SHOCKED(!) to hear that I was "still" sleeping at 12:30 PM today. Considering I was awake half the night coughing it really isn't so amazing.  I know I am the queen of sleep and have been know to sleep till noon on many an occasion but these are extenuating circumstances folks.  I BE SICK !  No fooling!  I am putting on and taking off clothes every 20 minutes depending on whether I am freezing or roasting.  The thermostat hasn't been changed this often since we moved in.  I am taking hot baths to warm up and then standing in front of the freezer to cool back down. What ever this germ is it's a doozy. I'm walking around with a box of tissues to wipe the sweat off my forehead while wrapped in my fuzzy pink robe because I am freezing.

BUT . . .  Now that I have a pot the size of a bathtub filled with home made CHICKEN SOUP I am on the mend.  Yesterday when I spoke to friend Carol she was on her way out to shop for the ingredients for the soup. This morning she called to say she was dropping it off and indeed, 15 minutes later there she was with a huge pot, piping hot, wrapped in a towel. She handed it to Ger and disappeared into the mist!  She is like a Jewish Lone Ranger with her husband, Tonto, driving off down the road.
Ger and I immediately sat down and had a huge mug of soup that is TO DIE FOR ! This is the best chicken soup I have ever tasted, right down to the perfectly formed matzo balls. O M G  !!!!!!

I LOVE HAVING JEWISH FRIENDS !!!  Especially when they are such great friends AND such great cooks !

AS for feeling better, I ate the soup, sat up about an hour watching TV with Ger and went back to sleep for another 4 hours.       TIME FOR MORE SOUP !   I still don't feel good, but I think I'm on my way.

IF THE PHONE IS RINGING IT MUST BE MONDAY

WHY . . .   ??????  Is there that  much "important " stuff that you need to call me at 8 AM on a Monday morning ?  apparently not since I do not need a "free" test of the water in my home, a "free" energy saving inspection of my home or a "free" seminar on saving thousands of dollars by switching to Dish TV !    OK, so the doctor feels the need to let me know we have an appointment at 9:30 AM on WEDNESDAY, (Call me Tuesday afternoon please when I might actually need the reminder!).  Or the Oncologist needs to remind me that we have a Noon appointment tomorrow because in the past two years we have NEVER missed an appointment.  But the "best" is when a Florida friend calls BEFORE TEN.   LADIES LADIES LADIES . . .  .  I have tried to explain to you in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that you NEVER NEVER NEVER call  my house before 10 AM!    WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS ????????????

It has taken me years to establish this rule with people. But they really do not believe me when I say,"DO NOT CALL ME BEFORE 10 AM!"  My New York Friends GET IT !  It took us a while for them to understand but understand they do and totally respect this rule.  Bu then we have been friends forever. They know all my quirks. they love me in spite of who and what I am and accept all of me. Including the aversion I have to talking on the phone in the morning. Sharon knows that all those years that we had young children in school and she was working nights that we never ever called on another in the morning unless we were in total break down mode.  And even then if we woke one another it was always, "Never mind, call me later!"  NOTHING was more important than sleep. And the fact that we would often go weeks or even months without talking was not strange at all.  Jeanne and I still go for a month or more without talking and then just pick up where we left off. And that was before the age of email and text messages.  We just had things to do in our lives and if we needed each other we knew we could just pick up the phone or even pull up at the house, knock on the door in our jammies and pick up where we left off.  THAT is REAL friendship.

Florida friends are different . .  . they are NEW.  There isn't history there to help them understand all my quirks. They may have heard stories but they weren't part of the life that created this person that I am today.  So when they call at 9:45 and are totally shocked at the fact that they have woken me I feel judged. You don't need to tell me what time it is when I say I was asleep. If I choose to sleep till noon that is my business. Saying, "BUT IT'S 9:45!" does not make me feel any better. My answer of, "YES, it's 9:45 and I WAS ASLEEP!" does nothing to change the shock in your voice. I SLEEP when I am tired. YES, I AM FINE, that in answer to your question of, "Are you OK?"   HELLO PEOPLE, did I not explain that you NEVER call my house before 10 ?  And what is with this constant asking me, "When will I see you again?"  How the hell do I know?  Let it go. I may decide to move to the Bahamas tomorrow or I may just not feel like being social. My NY friends ALWAYS leave each other with the words, "I LOVE YOU! WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER SOON!" No pressure, it is understood that we are there for each other and that we will see each other as soon as we can. Florida friends all ask the question, "When will I see you again".  Like I have to take out my appointment calendar and make a date right then and there.  Too much pressure for me thank you. I don't need to add friendship to my calendar.  Do you want to go someplace special once in a while, fine, we can make a date but just to get together to chat, NO !!  Friendship is spontaneous.  I don't want or like to schedule get togethers. Do you have some time to go for coffee? Call me!  BUT NOT BEFORE 10!

I am not angry about this but rather quite amused. People living in Florida are mostly OLD.  They, like myself are pretty set in their way but oddly enough think that their way is THE RIGHT WAY !  Because they are up at 5:30 AM to "enjoy the day" means that I too should be thinking the same way. NOT !!!   I do NOT enjoy the sunrise.  Florida folks like to get up and get moving before the heat of the day. I say, "F" that and just sleep till it is too freaking hot to go out so I can stay in and putter. WE have enough mornings when we HAVE to get up to go to a doctor appointment.  I have just spent the weekend with Smith and am TIRED!

BUT WHY AM I HAVING TO EXPLAIN MYSELF . . .   This is me, don't call before 10 !!

PSYCHOTIC OR NEUROTIC

So just what is the difference between the two?  I guess I could look it up on the internet but then, I am too busy researching the effects of Tylenol and Ibuprofen on infants and children.
I am the first to admit I am totally consumed with worry that some of my grand children are going to die from liver failure. THERE !  I said it out loud and I am glad.
I am the first to admit I am a lunatic and not always capable of thinking clearly when it comes to my grand kids.  I have "disgusted" my children on several occasions because of my lack of self control when it comes to buying gifts for my precious little ones. I have been asked to not talk to my daughter-in-laws concerning the grand kids but rather to direct any questions and concerns to my sons so that I might not upset their wives.  I have tried to keep my mouth shut and not interfere with the up bringing of my grand kids and to all of this I am on board 100%.  I get it!  My mother and mother-in-law both were outspoken women. It runs in my family that the women, cousins, and aunts alike all are very very opinionated. But I try to be aware of my boundaries and I do appreciate and try to respect my children when they remind me of my place.
But this one has me physically ill with worry.  My concern is that any child under the age of one should not be given Tylenol unless the child is running a fever of over 100.  I argue that a three month old baby should not be given Tylenol to soothe them because they may or may not be teething. Never more than one dose a day and never day after day.  How about Tylenol for "growing pains" in a three year old? Every evening for days at a time?
These are the things that I am loosing sleep over.
My therapist and I discussed the fact that I was an over protective mother. I prefer to think I am an over ATTENTIVE mother.  Big difference!  I don't care to live in my children's house, back yard or even in the same state but when I am with them I worry.
My father was an amazing man and never commented on how we raised our children. OR DID HE?
Hate to burst your bubble but when he was alone with me I used to hear about what Papa thought of my children AND my husband. I usually agreed with him but he never mentioned any of this to the kids or Ger.  I don't know if I am my fathers daughter or not.  I am worried about these little ones and just don't know what to do about it. I have talked to the parents and have been blown off as being worried about nothing. But the evidence is there and my gut tells me I have to speak up.
So does that make me neurotic or psychotic ?  I really don't care what you call me as long as you stop  with the Tylenol!

AGAIN !!!!!!! ????

It is getting increasingly difficult to just smile and nod when Husband is in CHEMO BRAIN mode.  I think perhaps there is more to this than chemo and radiation. The man is increasingly forgetful and I fear that one of these times he will go out without me and end up on the big screen on I-95 as the latest Silver Alert. (Yes folks, here in Florida we not only have Amber alerts, we have Silver alerts for those old folks who wander out in their cars and are never seen again.) I am expecting any day to see              

"SILVER ALERT     Silver 2003 Toyota Rav 4     license plate    Florida  # 212 MFA       Last seen at
Mac Donalds  or Chick fil A.   Bald guy driving with a stupid look on his face but killer eye lashes that women swoon over.  75 years old but easily could pass for 80-85.  Probably won't remember his name and won't be able to find his drivers license when asked. Also missing his credit card for the umpteenth time.  If found do not call wife, she really doesn't want him back any time soon."

Once again H has lost his credit card and has waited 3-4 days to mention the fact. What am I going to do with this man?  I rarely let him out alone and yet he manages on those few occasions to loose anything not directly attached to his body. He has often been found wandering around the parking lot looking for his car. Then once having found his car he cannot figure out where he left his keys! this latest loss of credit card is really pissing me off.  Not only does H not know where he left his card, he has NO idea of where he has been ! The man can not remember anything for more than a second. Forget what ever he did 4 days ago. I have been searching for the credit card since he mentioned it's absence. Trying to get H to remember what he did the ONE time he was out without me is like toilet training an elephant. We know that H went to the gym last Friday. He did stop to buy himself some food but can't remember if he was at Dunkin Donuts or Mac Donalds. There are no empty cups or wrappers in the car to give me a clue. The only thing we have to go on is that his CVS card is also missing. My theory is that he returned some medicine to CVS and left his cards there. I called the store and they swear they have no cards there. I will stop in tomorrow and speak to someone who may take the time to actually search. Then I'll stop at both food places and possibly even the gym.  After that I guess it's a call to the bank to get a new card . . . AGAIN !  

Do you think it's time to take his card away ?

BABIES

Here are some pictures from this past weekend of those cute little guys I was writing about yesterday.  They're on their way up to spend the night here.  In the words of Miss Kaelin, "I SO ESCITED!"

Grey in her Lady bug outfit

Kent and Wynn

Kristen and Grey

Big brother Smith checks out his Ninja Turtle pancake

TWINS ARE THE BOMB

Literally . . . THE BOMB . . .  As in nuclear blast ! These two little angels of nine weeks old are blowing apart their parents world. Kent and Kristen are hanging on by their toe nails and Smith just keeps wondering "What the . . ." !  (I do believe Smith may have picked that up from his parents who are saying "What the . . ."  every time Wynn or Grey start to cry. ) And these are GOOD BABIES !
Just the logistics of trying to sooth two screaming babies at the same time is impossible.  It cannot be done no matter how you try.  Kristen is doing an amazing job feeding the two of them at the same time. She gets one set up propped up on pillows and one in her arms and then gets the bottle in one mouth being held by her foot while the other is held by her remaining free hand.  Oh if only we were an octopus.  We have seen a lot of the family and are getting some first hand experience at the shear madness that is twins.
The little guys are starting to develop their own personalities. Grey is a diva already and just demands the attention. Wynn is taking after men in the family remaining quiet and thoughtful. They are both smiling, is it gas or a true smile?  I know Grey is smiling because she is making her parents nuts and that's what us women do. Big brother Smith thinks these two noisy additions to the family are pretty cute and he is getting braver by the day. At first he wanted no part of these two squirmy, noisy things who disrupted his world but now he is hugging them and helping mom and dad by getting blankets and pacifiers when the twins need them. Smith is even able to blot out the night time hysteria that signals feeding time at the zoo.
Hopefully things are settling down into a bit of a routine and mom and dad will soon return to the land of the living but right now they are prime candidates for the cast of THE WALKING DEAD.
Funny how before the twins were born Kent and Kristen got watching back episodes of that show and were totally hooked on it.  Who knew they them selves would soon be zombies?

WHAT THE FEATHERS

We had Smith here with us for the weekend. We were trying to give mom and dad a little extra time to sleep since Wynn and Grey are really busting everyone's chops. We picked Smith up on Friday afternoon and he stayed till this afternoon. A FANTASTIC time was had by all.  There were some poop issues that even the apple juice didn't fix but that's a whole other story.

Every time we see Smith we never know what to expect. For some time there SCOOBY DOO was all we focused on. Then dinosaurs entered Smiths world and that was the main topic of videos books and  play. But all that has taken a back seat to . . . .  TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES !
What my son was thinking when he introduced his almost four year old to the world of kicking, fighting, rambunctious turtles is beyond me but Smith now lives and breathes the four stupid turtles. Leonardo, (the blue masked turtle) is his favorite and fondly referred to as Leo . Then there is Donny, short for Donatello, Raffie, short for Raphael, and last but not least Mikey, short for Michelangelo.
We played turtles all weekend. We even made a sewer, (yes, you read that right) to house the turtles. (I had a new bed delivered this past week which came in 6 very large cardboard boxes. When taped end to end it was the perfect sewer for Smith to play in. He was quite upset when mom and dad told him it would not fit in the car so he could not bring it home. Now I get to store this monstrosity till smith's next visit.)

But getting back to the influence of turtles on an almost four year old . . . The first time I heard my grand son exclaim "WHAT THE . . . ." I wasn't sure I heard him right but then five minutes later he once again said, "WHAT THE . . . " and I knew I had indeed heard him correctly.  He never put the "F" bomb at the end of his exclamation but I expected it every time. Smith seemed quite comfortable in using this expression, even to the point of occasionally saying, "WHAT THE FEATHERS". I thought at first that he had picked this up from some bigger kids at school, or maybe mom or dad. I even went back through my memory to think if I had said this on occasion but really had no idea where this adorable kid came up with this.  Think no further grandma, it seems the Ninja Turtles use this expression so if it's good enough for Leo and "The Guys" it's good enough for Smith!

And as we all know from reading Grand ma's blog, it is apparently good enough for Grand ma.

What next?

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY

I'm not writing this to make you jealous but I have GOT to tell you about this day today.
The past week has been HOT down here. Summer time hot !  Temperatures near 90, sun and clouds and humidity that is usually only around in the dead of summer.  That was O.K. with us because most of the snow birds have left town, the roads, stores and restaurants are so much less crowded so hot and humid doesn't bother me at all.
Then yesterday the summer type monsoon rain came late in the day and nearly drowned us on our way to mass. During mass the rain was pounding on the roof of the church it sounded like elephants stampeding across the heavens. But with the heavy rain came a drop in temperature so that by this morning it was in the very low 70's and cooler outside than in the house. That prompted me to open am the windows and doors to air out the smoke from last nights dinner. (Suffice to say I wasn't paying attention to the toaster oven and the potatoes that were in it. )
Ger and I had breakfast on the lanai and because it was such a beautiful day we didn't move far from there for the whole day.  Mid afternoon found us sitting under the awning in the back yard. The pool has reached 89 degrees so I took a swim and life just doesn't get any better than this!

I hear all of you telling yourselves Spring is finally coming up North. It really has stopped snowing, finally. The weather is changing for the better and where you live is just as good as Florida.

Sorry folks,  after a day like today there is no place else on this Earth that I would want to be.  I DO live in Paradise and I just don't know why you are all still living where you are.

Have a great week !

BEST BIRTHDAY IN A LONG TIME

Nine years ago I turned 60 and was pissing and moaning (ME? Piss and moan? I know you can't believe that . HA!) that I was having this big birthday and no one would even notice or do anything special for "poor" me.  My therapist of the time told me to stop wining and plan something for myself if I wanted to celebrate. And so I found myself with husband sailing across the carribean drinking rum punch for breakfast and having a fantastic birthday.

Today was almost as good !

I slept late and got up all excited about working in my Japanese garden on the lanai.  Long story but when Jeanne and Frank were here this winter Jeanne had the brainstorm that I could transform my garden half of the lanai into a serene Japanese garden. The thought has stayed with me these past 4 months and thanks to husband the project got started a couple of days ago. My brain has been on full alert thinking about what I could do with the space and I have been on my hands and knees swearing up a storm working on moving rocks and rearranging plants.  I have decided this would have been a lot easier to do ten years ago when we first bought the house but I am really enjoying the physical labor. As of today I have gone through half a bottle of Aleve and its worth every one.
But back to the birthday . . .    I was up and working, took a couple of time outs for a few swims in the pool and then had to stop to get ready for dinner out. We met Ger's cousin Andy and his wife Rita at Guanabanas and had a fantastic dinner in the jungle. (It's a unique restaurant where all the seating is outside amidst the tropical trees and plants, situated right on the river o there is no "bad" table. I had a house specialty drink called a "Cat 5" for the hurricanes down here and it did blow me away! Dinner of blackened cobia and corn pudding was to die for and the no collate crunch cake for dessert wast bad either.
I talked to all the kids and grand kids ths evening, got gifts from Aunt Ann Marie, (chocolate covered strawberries, oh my!), Kyle, Kaelin,(a hand made ceramic something that I will cherish even if I don't know exactly what it is), beautiful flowers from Kristen and Kent, and gifts from Friends Jeanne, Sharon and Carol.  I even had a phone call from niece Jeanne Marie.  Into to mention all the birthday wishes on Facebook !

Fantastic day !         Thanks everyone !

EASTER LAUNDRY

For as many Easter baskets and Easter eggs we have here the pile of towels and sheets over shadows all. How I can be doing 5 loads of laundry a day since Monday and still have a pile the size of Mt. Everest ? Given the fact that my dryer is taking 2 cycles to actually produce DRY clothes this is a Herculean task. But I wouldn't trade it for the world !

Easter week was, in the words of miss Kaelin, age 6, "THE BEST WEEK EVER !"  Kaelin was heard to say this several times during the week she and her family were here and I have to agree with her.
We started the party the Sunday before Easter when Kaelin, Finn and parents arrived at the air port with Grandma so excited I could nearly contain myself. We proceeded to have a great week of pampering, beach, pool, eating, a tea party for the girls, a visit to the Easter bunny at the mall and fun fun fun ! On Good Friday Kent drove up with the twins and Smith so that Smith could spend the weekend at Grand ma's with his cousins. Finn was more excited than a puppy with a squeaky toy. Finn and Smith ran and played with Kaelin joining in.  We went to an Easter Egg Hunt at a neighborhood church on Saturday and all the kids and grown-ups had a wonderful time. Well done CHURCH OF THE LIVING OAKS! Best Easter Egg Hunt EVER ! (Once again, quoting Kaelin!)  WE colored eggs with shaving cream and food coloring and that was more fun than any egg dying I have ever done. We also all wet our pants when Grand pa took the colored shaving cream and smeared it all over his face. Not that he looked THAT funny but the panic of realizing it would stain his face green cracked us all up! Well done grand pa. That green ear was hardly noticeable at Easter Sunday mass !

Sad to say everyone left Sunday afternoon and left grand ma and grand pa in a state of exhaustion and shear joy. It was a FANTASTIC week.    Lets do it again . . . . NEXT YEAR !

"this is  fun"

Finn racing Smith

Which way did he go?

Shaving cream egg coloring

Pssst Wynn,  these people are nuts !

Pink and yellow nails !

Tea Parties require hats.

Ready for the hunt

Silly Smith

Grand pa and Grey

SLEEPING WITH A TOASTER OVEN

It has officially been one full year since H took his last chemo treatment.  And that's how long the doctor said it would take for the poisons to leave H's body so he would finally start feeling GOOD again. And that is exactly what is happening. H is feeling better than he has in two years! And I am so happy for him.
BUT . . .
with recovery has come some changes in H. The whole chemo brain thing is what it is.  I have days when I have so many brain farts I don't know if I'm coming or going. So we will give H some latitude with the brain. But this whole FREEZING thing is another story.  H is always cold.  Thank GOD we live in south Florida, especially after this past winter of snow and ice all over the country, except for us. But the man is still cold. I will have the AC in the car cranking because we are sitting in a toaster oven on wheels and H is putting on sweaters. Forget the AC in the house, if I put it at 75 the poor guy is huddled under blankets while wearing a snow hat and gloves.  I'm dying here.  My body temp is about that of a baked potato just out of the oven. I used to wear a sweater all winter in NY instead of a coat. The sweater was my winter coat because I was always so hot. I always swore I could NEVER live in Florida. Yet here I am.
Our bedroom is at the end of the AC duct line and so it is usually the warmest room in the house. I take three cold showers a night to remain cool enough to sleep while H is huddled under sheets, blanket and comforter,  IN JULY !  If I try to turn on the ceiling fan to get some air to cool off with H begins to shiver.  I have found that if I wait till he falls asleep at 9:30 by the time I go to bed at midnight I can very quietly click the fan chain three quick pulls and get the fan on low before H catches me. He can't understand why he is so cold when he wakes up in the morning even though he has ALL the covers pulled on top of him.  Maybe tha bald head makes him cold. I'll have to knit him a stocking cap.
The man sits in the 80 degree sun drinking hot tea while I am in the pool pouring ice tea over my head.  It's jus crazy here.  Hot and cold don't mix but there is ONE up side to all this.  Because H is always so cold he doesn't eat all the ice cream.  All the more for me!
Thanks chemo !

WHY I DON'T ASK FOR HELP AND WHY I SHOULD BE ON PROZAC

Today was one of those days that reminded me why I don't usually ask for help with things around the house.  I learned long ago that if something needed doing I should do it.  Husband used to work 2 jobs so if the grass was growing up over the front door I would go out and mow it.   If the car was sounding like it had a family of squirrels living under the hood I took it to the repair shop.  That was just how it worked.
Then H retired and he suddenly felt he would and could help me with EVERYTHING, whether I wanted the help or not.   For 35 years I moved the furniture, put up the Christmas lights and made the beds without any help. Now suddenly I can't go shopping alone.  
I have made concessions and "asked" for help making the bed, emptying or filling the dish washer or even on occasion having help grocery shopping.  All of the above cause me a great deal of anxiety even though I tell myself the sheets don't need to be all the way on the bed, it really is a help to have H take the dishes out of the dish washer only to leave them all over the kitchen counter and so what if I asked him to buy bread and he comes home with pizza.  I have learned to "LET IT GO" and accept what I get.
But today brought home the reasons I WOULD RATHER DO IT MYSELF !  
Having been in a grand Funk for the past several months I have done nothing around here. I have not been motivated to clean, organize or throw out anything. It was all mental but I just could NOT get moving. The birth of the twins seems to have broken the funk and I am now fired  up to kick some ass around here as far as cleaning goes.  Having Kaelin and Finn arriving this weekend adds to my energy so I have been attacking the back yard, lanai and the dreaded GARAGE PLAY ROOM.   For the past several months the garage has become a pit of despair. Everything I couldn't face has been thrown into that room. 
This morning I was fired up and first headed to the back yard to get out the inflatable slide.  Ger had said he would blow it up but that means nothing.  He went to the gym and I took advantage of the alone time to really attack the yard.  By the time he came home he must have felt he had to help because out he came. I tried to tell him to go rest a while but he insisted he help. He got the extension cord, the little pump and sat down to inflate the slide.  I can't even begin to tell you what went on from that point but suffice to say the slide is still not blown up. I think it has a hole in it and if I leave it over night it just may wind up in the garbage tomorrow. Husband exhausted himself sitting in the chair holding the pump so when I left at 3:00 to meet a friend he finally came inside to nap.
I came home recharged after a delish Starbucks chai tea and decided to attack the garage. I figured H was sitting quietly watching Fox News I just might get something done. I cleaned off the shelves holding all the cleaning and house hold products and found 6 bottles of long dead tonic water. I had just pulled them off the shelf when you know who arrived in the door way saying those dreaded 3 words, "CAN I HELP?"  You know what I wanted to say but instead I handed him a bottle of tonic and asked him to empty it and the 5 others into the kitchen sink and put the empty bottles into the recycle bin.  SIMPLE you say ???   It is a matter of walking 6 steps to the sink, pouring out the liquid, walking 6 steps back to the garage door and dropping the EMPTY bottles into the bin.   I don't know how or what H was doing but as he dumped the bottles into the bin he also poured tonic all over the garage floor and into the bin. Seriously, I REALLY REALLY do NOT know how he could "empty" bottles and yet pour that much liquid all over the garage.  In case you didn't know, Tonic Water is sticky when it hits the floor.  
The garage is not clean yet because I had to stop what I was doing to mop the garage and kitchen floor.

I'm so glad I have a "HELPER" !      Where's the freaking Prozac ????????