Today is moving day for the Atlanta Lawlor's. Our son Kyle and his wonderful wife and daughter, Abby, are leaving for England tonight for 2-3 years. Husband and I are here in Atlanta "helping" (I hope) and we will drive them and their 6 suitcases to the airport this evening. I am sooooooo EXCITED for them. Abby is a little unsure of the whole leaving her friends thing but all in all she is very excited about this wonderful new adventure. They have been shipping boxes all week and hopefully everything will be ready for them when they arrive tomorrow morning at Heathrow. Their FLAT is only about 15 minutes from the airport so that won't be a big hassle. They are leaving their cars in the USA and will buy/rent something over there. From what I hear no one drives in England, they all walk. Which is perfect for this family. Kyle and Bridget and Abby are athletes. They play soccer, Gaelic football, and hurling. (Which is different from curling. Hurling is like football, lacrosse and soccer all rolled into one, without the protective gear.) So I think moving to a country that walks will be great for them. Husband and I will die when we go to visit but I am sure we will adapt.
Will we miss them?. . . Sure . . . but we have our hats on and our passports at the ready for when ever they want a visit.
Wish them well for us and please say a prayer that they travel safe and remember to drive on the left side of the road!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Aunt AM's Suitcase(s)
Aunt AM is gone. We took her to the airport and she is now back in NY emptying her suitcases. I've told you how stunning a woman Aunt AM is right? Well in order to look that good ALL the time the woman travels HEAVY ! Husband and I travel light . . . ONE suitcase each, no matter where we are going or for how long. The size of the suitcase does vary but not all that much. My sister-in-law does not know the meaning of TRAVEL LIGHT. Two years ago husband told AM that her suitcase was way too heavy for him to lift in and out of the car. She should GET RID of the BIG suitcase and get 2 smaller ones. (When I say big I mean BIG! It is about the size of a refrigerator.) So the next year when we picked her up at the airport sure enough she had 2 suitcases . . . the BIG one and one possibly an inch smaller than that ! I thought Ger would have a heart attack. Aunt AM defended herself by saying that even though she had 2 bags, they weren't filled to the brim. She was right, until we went shopping. (Have I mentioned her passion, possible addiction, for shopping?) So now we have TWO huge suitcases, filled to overflowing and the next cause for concern (besides husband's pending hernia) is WILL THE SUITCASE(S) WEIGH MORE THAN 50 POUNDS? If they do there is an fee from the airline. So now we are weighing the suitcases by standing on the scale, lifting the bag subtracting our weight from the total. Every trip Aunt AM would go through this performance and worry herself sick that the bag(s) would be too heavy. You and I would realize the simplest way of avoiding this worry would be to: A. Use a smaller bag.
B. Not pack so much
Neither of these seem to be an option for Aunt AM. She packs her entire wardrobe! Well, to be honest since she lives alone in a 3 bedroom house and EVERY closet and dresser are PACKED with clothes it really is only about 1/16 of her clothes that she brings. But that is a LOT !
But back to the weight . . . This year Aunt AM's daughter gave her a luggage scale. Great idea, right? Not Really. Wonderful idea if you are weighing a back pack or a carry on bag because it is a device that you tie onto the handle of your suitcase, lift the suitcase off the floor, wait a second or 2 for the weight to register and there you have it! Your bag weights ____ number of pounds. Wonderful until you try to lift a bag the size of a Volkswagen. Attaching the strap - EASY - lifting the bag -NOT SO EASY -. If you can't lift the bag off the floor with 2 hands how are you supposed to lift it far enough for the scale to register and high enough for you to read said scale?
We did find AM standing ON the bed, bent over trying to pull the bag up off the floor. I can just imagine the doctor in the ER listening to that story of how the 74 year old woman hurt her back/broke her hip.
In the end we took her beach bag out of the suitcase, filled it with shoes (all 7 pair) and a ton of other stuff and she used that as a carry on. Both suitcases weighted in at over 45 pounds so off she flew only to continue shopping for another year, probably in search of a new suitcase that is just as large but weighs less when it is empty.
B. Not pack so much
Neither of these seem to be an option for Aunt AM. She packs her entire wardrobe! Well, to be honest since she lives alone in a 3 bedroom house and EVERY closet and dresser are PACKED with clothes it really is only about 1/16 of her clothes that she brings. But that is a LOT !
But back to the weight . . . This year Aunt AM's daughter gave her a luggage scale. Great idea, right? Not Really. Wonderful idea if you are weighing a back pack or a carry on bag because it is a device that you tie onto the handle of your suitcase, lift the suitcase off the floor, wait a second or 2 for the weight to register and there you have it! Your bag weights ____ number of pounds. Wonderful until you try to lift a bag the size of a Volkswagen. Attaching the strap - EASY - lifting the bag -NOT SO EASY -. If you can't lift the bag off the floor with 2 hands how are you supposed to lift it far enough for the scale to register and high enough for you to read said scale?
We did find AM standing ON the bed, bent over trying to pull the bag up off the floor. I can just imagine the doctor in the ER listening to that story of how the 74 year old woman hurt her back/broke her hip.
In the end we took her beach bag out of the suitcase, filled it with shoes (all 7 pair) and a ton of other stuff and she used that as a carry on. Both suitcases weighted in at over 45 pounds so off she flew only to continue shopping for another year, probably in search of a new suitcase that is just as large but weighs less when it is empty.
Friday, March 26, 2010
OH CRAP !
When you eat out at least one meal a day for 2 weeks, have ice cream or gelatto (OMG we have the BEST gelatto shoppe in the world here in PBG) almost every day only to top it off with the very best fish and chips (it is Friday in Lent after all) and a stop at the cupcake shoppe today . . . why would I be surprised with a weight GAIN of one and a half pounds this week? Nope, no surprise here! Disgust in myself that I am totally incapable of making better choices when it comes to food, horror that I can NOT say no to goodies and pity that I am doomed to obesity. BUT . . . it does get me thinking of reasons why it is good for a person to be fat.
1. We chubbs do not get cold in winter. We carry our own insulation.
(Too bad I live in Florida.)
2. We carry our very own seat cushions with us when we go to sporting events.
3. We have a built in tray table for picnics or eating on the couch.
4. No one wants to sit in the middle seat on the plane because we overflow.
5. It is not as painful to get a shot or an IV or give blood. Lots of cushioning.
6. You can be pregnant and people don't know it. (But this also works against
you cause they think you are pregnant when you're not.)
7. It's easy to "be" a turkey for Halloween cause we already have a wattle.
8. If we ever get caught in a hurricane we can just spread our fat "wings" on
our upper arms and fly like a bird.
9. Our thighs rubbing together keep us warm on winter days.
10. It makes it very easy to decide what to wear on any given day. You just
wear what ever happens to fit that day.
Hey, it was a fun 2 weeks with Aunt AM here. We ate way too much and I am now ready to try to get some control over myself once again. We're headed to see Abby in Atlanta before she moves to England for 2-3 years. But that is another blog for another day. Hopefully staying with her healthy, nutrition conscious parents will get husband and I started on eating less and better. I'll talk to you in a few days and let you know how it's going.
1. We chubbs do not get cold in winter. We carry our own insulation.
(Too bad I live in Florida.)
2. We carry our very own seat cushions with us when we go to sporting events.
3. We have a built in tray table for picnics or eating on the couch.
4. No one wants to sit in the middle seat on the plane because we overflow.
5. It is not as painful to get a shot or an IV or give blood. Lots of cushioning.
6. You can be pregnant and people don't know it. (But this also works against
you cause they think you are pregnant when you're not.)
7. It's easy to "be" a turkey for Halloween cause we already have a wattle.
8. If we ever get caught in a hurricane we can just spread our fat "wings" on
our upper arms and fly like a bird.
9. Our thighs rubbing together keep us warm on winter days.
10. It makes it very easy to decide what to wear on any given day. You just
wear what ever happens to fit that day.
Hey, it was a fun 2 weeks with Aunt AM here. We ate way too much and I am now ready to try to get some control over myself once again. We're headed to see Abby in Atlanta before she moves to England for 2-3 years. But that is another blog for another day. Hopefully staying with her healthy, nutrition conscious parents will get husband and I started on eating less and better. I'll talk to you in a few days and let you know how it's going.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Another week
How is it possible that another week has gone by already? I know I am getting older but time is really passing way too quickly. I get up in the morning and think of all the things I want to get done during the day and all of a sudden it is 11 at night and I haven't gotten anything done. Except to gain another pound or 2. (Tomorrow is weigh in day so we won't even think about weight right now.)
I remember when I was a kid I had a friend with whom I made a pact. When the year 2000 arrived Joan and I would meet at Times Square in Manhattan on New Years Day. (If we ever set a time I don't remember) At the time of the pact we were both about 12 years old. In the years following we lost touch completely and I often wondered if she even remembered making the promise to each other. I remember thinking at the time that I would be an ancient 55 years old in the year 2000. I would practically be dead by that age. Who knows if I could even make it to NYC.
Well, that was 10 years ago and even though I remembered that silly agreement I never thought about going. Even if we both had remembered we never would have recognized or even found each other in the middle of Times Square. But it's funny to think how very far away the year 2000 seemed when I was 12. And yet those years flew by. Here I am at almost 65, living a very active life in Florida and finding it impossible to even imagine a time when life will slow down. But I am sure these next how ever many years, (decades?) will fly by even faster than the past.
I guess this all just goes to prove the saying that TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN!
I remember when I was a kid I had a friend with whom I made a pact. When the year 2000 arrived Joan and I would meet at Times Square in Manhattan on New Years Day. (If we ever set a time I don't remember) At the time of the pact we were both about 12 years old. In the years following we lost touch completely and I often wondered if she even remembered making the promise to each other. I remember thinking at the time that I would be an ancient 55 years old in the year 2000. I would practically be dead by that age. Who knows if I could even make it to NYC.
Well, that was 10 years ago and even though I remembered that silly agreement I never thought about going. Even if we both had remembered we never would have recognized or even found each other in the middle of Times Square. But it's funny to think how very far away the year 2000 seemed when I was 12. And yet those years flew by. Here I am at almost 65, living a very active life in Florida and finding it impossible to even imagine a time when life will slow down. But I am sure these next how ever many years, (decades?) will fly by even faster than the past.
I guess this all just goes to prove the saying that TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN!
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Trouble With Aunt AM
Let me tell you about my sister-in-law. She is nine and a half years OLDER than me and looks twenty years younger. When I first met AM, over 40 years ago, she was frumpy. She had 4 kids, a husband, a house in the suburbs and a dog. She was over weight, didn't drive, stayed at home to take care of the house and the kids and looked like she was about 50. I was 22, single, looking GOOD, working, partying and dating AM's brother. I thought she was OLD! But some how, as the years passed I married her brother, had 3 kids, became a stay-at-home mom, our rolls reversed. AM's husband died, she learned to drive, got a job, lost a lot of weight, changed her hair color and style, got acrylic nails and found her sense of style. The woman today is amazing and looks even better than that. She has her hair "done" each Saturday. The nails are always beautiful and forget the wardrobe and jewelry. AM only shops off the sale racks and can see a bargain a mile away but manages to find the most stylish and flattering clothes. Her sense of fashion and style amazes me. How she can look so fabulous ALL the time is beyond me. We have travelled together for weeks at a time and the woman looks better and better with each day. I get the shot-at-and-hit look by the second day but my sister-in-law is looking like she just stepped out of the salon. HOW DOES SHE DO THAT ? I have, over the years, tried to copy her style but it just doesn't work for me. I think that 60 pound weight difference and 5 inch height difference must have something to do with it but it sure gets frustrating. The woman NEVER looks messy. I will be in my room primping and working on my outfit only to walk out the door and see AM and know there is just no contest. I might as well put on a potato sack.
The only things that I have going for me is we don't get together too often so people don't get to see the whole night/day, beauty/beast thing that gets going on when we are together. And my suitcase is always a lot lighter than hers.
The only things that I have going for me is we don't get together too often so people don't get to see the whole night/day, beauty/beast thing that gets going on when we are together. And my suitcase is always a lot lighter than hers.
Weigh in
It is Friday morning and I got on the scale. I actually lost 1/2 pound. Not bad considering all that was going on this week. Better a loss than an gain. But now I have to stop and think about what I did that helped me lose this 1/2 pound. HUM, what did I do this week? Well . . . I did cut my toe nails and shave my legs. I guess I must have done something more to warrant a weight loss so I'll just try a little harder this coming week and see what happens.
Does stress cause weight loss ? Nah, I'd be thin as a rail if that was the case. I am so happy to have this dopey blog to vent on. I stress myself out at all possible times. I worry about things that are stupid. I know in my heart I am supposed to "LET GO, LET GOD" handle all things stressful in my life but boy oh boy that is even harder than loosing weight. If only chocolate were a type of Valium I would have it made.
But today's really GREAT news is that the wonderful little grand baby that Kent and Kristen are hatching in August is a BOY ! Is that just the greatest news or what! Kyle and Bridget gave us our first grand child, Abby. Keri gave us Kaelin, who is my baby girl's baby, and now Kent and Kristen will give us our first grand son. Not to dismiss Roman who will hopefully be part of Kyle's family by August.
So after thinking about these wonderful children, who needs chocolate !
Does stress cause weight loss ? Nah, I'd be thin as a rail if that was the case. I am so happy to have this dopey blog to vent on. I stress myself out at all possible times. I worry about things that are stupid. I know in my heart I am supposed to "LET GO, LET GOD" handle all things stressful in my life but boy oh boy that is even harder than loosing weight. If only chocolate were a type of Valium I would have it made.
But today's really GREAT news is that the wonderful little grand baby that Kent and Kristen are hatching in August is a BOY ! Is that just the greatest news or what! Kyle and Bridget gave us our first grand child, Abby. Keri gave us Kaelin, who is my baby girl's baby, and now Kent and Kristen will give us our first grand son. Not to dismiss Roman who will hopefully be part of Kyle's family by August.
So after thinking about these wonderful children, who needs chocolate !
Thursday, March 18, 2010
MOOOOOOOOOOO
OINK OINK , MOO MOO . . . Whatever am I going to do ?
Do I need to say anymore ? It has not been a good week. St. Patrick's day with corned beef and mashed potatoes wasn't too bad. Except I made a loaf of Irish Soda Bread and ate about a quarter of it all by myself. WITH BUTTER ! And as if that wasn't bad enough, our house guest bought a cake for dessert. Which of course I had a nice chunk of. I could kick myself if only I could get my leg up high enough.
The weekend doesn't look any better but I'll keep you posted on my lack of progress. Tomorrow is weigh in day so I'll talk to you then.
Do I need to say anymore ? It has not been a good week. St. Patrick's day with corned beef and mashed potatoes wasn't too bad. Except I made a loaf of Irish Soda Bread and ate about a quarter of it all by myself. WITH BUTTER ! And as if that wasn't bad enough, our house guest bought a cake for dessert. Which of course I had a nice chunk of. I could kick myself if only I could get my leg up high enough.
The weekend doesn't look any better but I'll keep you posted on my lack of progress. Tomorrow is weigh in day so I'll talk to you then.
Monday, March 15, 2010
CAKE !
Everybody likes cake. At least everybody I know likes cake. My grand daughters LOVE cake. As Abby once said while being coaxed into going to a party, "Will there be cake?". This quote will probably follow her through life. She is MY girl!
Now please remember this blog is being written by a person who is on a mission to LOSE weight. HA! As I knew, it was a tough weekend for dieting. Aunt AM arrived Saturday and we went straight from the airport to a restaurant for dinner. I started off GREAT ! Focused on the conversation and the company, ordered and ate a delicious salad, (I do love salad when it is made by someone else), and really enjoyed the meal. Unfortunately we were in one of our favorite spots that just happens to have a TO DIE FOR chocolate cake. OOPS ! How could we possibly let our guest leave without sampling the cake? We only ordered one slice which all 3 of us shared. That is my justification that I didn't do too badly. But I have to tell you that slice of cake is the size of the Matterhorn so I really wasn't that good. But the cake was fabulous and I really, really enjoyed it.
Now we move on to Sunday. A very good day for all in all ways. We went to a baby shower in Ft. Lauderdale for Kristen and Kent, hosted by Kristen's mom and sister. They actually managed to get to FL through the storm that was washing away the East Coast. Lori almost didn't make it but she did get there in time to host a LOVELY party for baby mommy. And what do you have at a baby shower? . . . Right . . .CAKE ! I brought the cake that was very pretty and pretty tasty. (I only had a small piece), BUT . . . OMG . . . one of Kristen's friends brought CUPCAKE POPS ! This girl has started her own business and really has got something going. (I promise I will get her web address for you. You really need to check out these pops.) The cupcake pops are TO DIE FOR !!!!! Absolutely the greatest thing I have enjoyed in quite some time. (Even better than the chocolate cake from the night before.) She has a secret recipe that FORCED me into eating 3 of them and still wanting more. (They were small, compared to a cupcake but filled with sweet, yummy, delicious, wonderful FATTENING goodness.) I do NOT regret eating them, (well, maybe the last one was uncalled for) but my weekend was not as pro diet as I had hoped.
So now we start the week all over again and get serious once more. This week's goal is portion control. I will not eat EVERYTHING that is on my plate just because it is there. And I will try to stop licking the plate when I am done.
Now please remember this blog is being written by a person who is on a mission to LOSE weight. HA! As I knew, it was a tough weekend for dieting. Aunt AM arrived Saturday and we went straight from the airport to a restaurant for dinner. I started off GREAT ! Focused on the conversation and the company, ordered and ate a delicious salad, (I do love salad when it is made by someone else), and really enjoyed the meal. Unfortunately we were in one of our favorite spots that just happens to have a TO DIE FOR chocolate cake. OOPS ! How could we possibly let our guest leave without sampling the cake? We only ordered one slice which all 3 of us shared. That is my justification that I didn't do too badly. But I have to tell you that slice of cake is the size of the Matterhorn so I really wasn't that good. But the cake was fabulous and I really, really enjoyed it.
Now we move on to Sunday. A very good day for all in all ways. We went to a baby shower in Ft. Lauderdale for Kristen and Kent, hosted by Kristen's mom and sister. They actually managed to get to FL through the storm that was washing away the East Coast. Lori almost didn't make it but she did get there in time to host a LOVELY party for baby mommy. And what do you have at a baby shower? . . . Right . . .CAKE ! I brought the cake that was very pretty and pretty tasty. (I only had a small piece), BUT . . . OMG . . . one of Kristen's friends brought CUPCAKE POPS ! This girl has started her own business and really has got something going. (I promise I will get her web address for you. You really need to check out these pops.) The cupcake pops are TO DIE FOR !!!!! Absolutely the greatest thing I have enjoyed in quite some time. (Even better than the chocolate cake from the night before.) She has a secret recipe that FORCED me into eating 3 of them and still wanting more. (They were small, compared to a cupcake but filled with sweet, yummy, delicious, wonderful FATTENING goodness.) I do NOT regret eating them, (well, maybe the last one was uncalled for) but my weekend was not as pro diet as I had hoped.
So now we start the week all over again and get serious once more. This week's goal is portion control. I will not eat EVERYTHING that is on my plate just because it is there. And I will try to stop licking the plate when I am done.
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Journey
It is a lot easier to diet at 3 AM when you are feeling yucky than it is during the day when there is food all around. But I did get up this morning (the second time at around 9), and immediately thought of the blog I had written in the very wee hours. I am still committed to this journey but it sure isn't as great an idea now as it was then.
The day went well enough and just having the thought in my head that I am now accountable to you gave me reason to stop and think before shoving food into my face. I had a Curves shake for breakfast, 1/2 a tuna sub for lunch and some salmon and spinach with a little mashed potato for dinner. Desert was a delicious HUGE orange that I had bought a bag of about 3 weeks ago and have only eaten 2 or 3. The fruit always looks so good in the store and then I bring it home and it becomes fruit fly bait. When I buy bananas, thinking I am going to eat healthy, I end up making banana bread as they are just ready to rot completely. I just don't think I have the hang of this diet thing. But I have got myself thinking and that is a huge step.
I did skip the English muffin at breakfast and got a Jimmy Johns' sub to share with Ger for lunch. Kristen loves JJ but I just don't get them. The subs are small (reason for choosing it today) and there really isn't that much in them. I got a tuna sub today that was more sprouts, (aka. grass), cucumbers, lettuce and very little tuna. But when I stop and think about it, if I am trying to lose some of this excess blubber than Jimmy Johns is a good choice. More veggies, less carbs and protein. HUM, I may have hit upon some thing here. See, I am doing better already, thanks to you.
I refuse to give my starting weight. It is obscene. Let's just say I weighed in this morning at XXX.X and next Friday morning I will weigh in again and see if we have a minus to report. I have to warn you, my sister-in-law is arriving from Long Island tomorrow and I know we will be eating out and making bigger meals "because we have company". What difference that should make is not clear but that is the excuse that is always used.
I don't plan on talking with you at 3 AM this morning so I'll say good night for now and hope I do even a little better tomorrow.
Goal for Saturday, 3/13 . . . If we go out to dinner, order a salad for my meal. I think we are planning on going to Quarterdeck and they have a wonderful PECAN CRUSTED CHICKEN salad. It is delish !! I better get to bed, I'm making myself hungry.
The day went well enough and just having the thought in my head that I am now accountable to you gave me reason to stop and think before shoving food into my face. I had a Curves shake for breakfast, 1/2 a tuna sub for lunch and some salmon and spinach with a little mashed potato for dinner. Desert was a delicious HUGE orange that I had bought a bag of about 3 weeks ago and have only eaten 2 or 3. The fruit always looks so good in the store and then I bring it home and it becomes fruit fly bait. When I buy bananas, thinking I am going to eat healthy, I end up making banana bread as they are just ready to rot completely. I just don't think I have the hang of this diet thing. But I have got myself thinking and that is a huge step.
I did skip the English muffin at breakfast and got a Jimmy Johns' sub to share with Ger for lunch. Kristen loves JJ but I just don't get them. The subs are small (reason for choosing it today) and there really isn't that much in them. I got a tuna sub today that was more sprouts, (aka. grass), cucumbers, lettuce and very little tuna. But when I stop and think about it, if I am trying to lose some of this excess blubber than Jimmy Johns is a good choice. More veggies, less carbs and protein. HUM, I may have hit upon some thing here. See, I am doing better already, thanks to you.
I refuse to give my starting weight. It is obscene. Let's just say I weighed in this morning at XXX.X and next Friday morning I will weigh in again and see if we have a minus to report. I have to warn you, my sister-in-law is arriving from Long Island tomorrow and I know we will be eating out and making bigger meals "because we have company". What difference that should make is not clear but that is the excuse that is always used.
I don't plan on talking with you at 3 AM this morning so I'll say good night for now and hope I do even a little better tomorrow.
Goal for Saturday, 3/13 . . . If we go out to dinner, order a salad for my meal. I think we are planning on going to Quarterdeck and they have a wonderful PECAN CRUSTED CHICKEN salad. It is delish !! I better get to bed, I'm making myself hungry.
Obesity
I AM OBESE . I am not fat, fluffy, over weight, porky, chubby, full figured, vertically challenged. I AM OBESE.
I realized that at 3 AM things often look most bleak but perhaps they also are the truest because there is nothing else to distract us. I am awake and so disgusted with myself that I am turning to my blog as a means of help. I ate too much for dinner (and breakfast and lunch for the past 50 years) and am now paying the price. Once again I ask myself "How stupid can I be?". But enough with the name calling. Let's take all I have learned over the past years and start putting some of this to use with your help. If I do this now I can't talk myself out of it and I have witnesses that I am now accountable to. (Even though I know there are only about 2 of you who read this, that is enough.)
I have always been larger than normal. Or at least I have always thought I was fat. But on the other hand I always thought I looked good. In my dreams I am a "normal" person. I live my life as a "normal" person but I am OBESE. We are talking a good 65 pounds over a healthy weight. My cardiologist has told me to lose weight, my GP has told me to lose weight. I know I NEED to lose weight and yet I continue to eat too much and make poor food choices. I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds over the years. Gain 20, lose 15. Gain 30, lose 20. Amazing how I can focus on the weight I have lost and not the weight I have gained. When I start to see the pounds creeping back on I delude myself with the lies that it is only 5 pounds and I can lose them real quick. But I never do lose them. Those 5 stick around and bring in another 5 to keep them company. Next thing they are inviting 10 more pounds to join the fun and before I know it I AM OBESE.
UGH . . . I hate that word! But I think I need to keep saying it to myself to make myself understand that this is a serious problem and I am not just a LITTLE over weight. I am one of the umpteen million Americans who is OBESE. I play the games, like looking around and finding someone who is fatter than me. (It is getting harder to play because all of a sudden I am the one that everyone else is using as the "fatter than me" person.) I look in the mirror and I DON'T see an OBESE person. I see me. Same old me. A bigger version but it is still me. It's like the problem I had with my computer this past week. Some how or other I enlarged the entire screen to 200%. Everything was hanging off the page. It was all the same old stuff but BIGGER! Well, that's me when I look in the mirror. It's still me but I am bigger. But bigger also brings a lot of baggage with it. BIGGER IS NOT BETTER !!!
My baggage is a bad back, aches in my hips and knees, all sorts of gastric distress, (which is why I am up at 3 AM), my feet hurt, my shoulders and neck hurt. Nothing in my closet fits me and worst of all I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE GRAND KIDS.
SO . . . I am throwing down the gauntlet! It's food or life ! I need to make the decision that food is only fuel for my body. It is not a reward or a comfort. Food is a means to an healthy body, not the path to an early death. I LOVE to eat. I enjoy flavors, textures, smells. All that goes along with good food. But I don't know when to stop or when to say NO in the first place. Just because food is there I know I don't HAVE to eat. I need to conquer the "I WANTS", the cravings and the mindless eating that I do because the food is there.
Are you ready to do this with me ? It is a battle and I know I am not alone but this is MY battle. We all do things for our own reasons and I need to figure out mine. That is a problem I have always had . . . I need to know WHY. But maybe that is the first step for me right now. Never mind the why, Let's just get to the doing.
Today's goal . . . ADD one piece of fruit to my diet and SUBTRACT a carb. Sounds pretty easy. Let's see how this goes.
I realized that at 3 AM things often look most bleak but perhaps they also are the truest because there is nothing else to distract us. I am awake and so disgusted with myself that I am turning to my blog as a means of help. I ate too much for dinner (and breakfast and lunch for the past 50 years) and am now paying the price. Once again I ask myself "How stupid can I be?". But enough with the name calling. Let's take all I have learned over the past years and start putting some of this to use with your help. If I do this now I can't talk myself out of it and I have witnesses that I am now accountable to. (Even though I know there are only about 2 of you who read this, that is enough.)
I have always been larger than normal. Or at least I have always thought I was fat. But on the other hand I always thought I looked good. In my dreams I am a "normal" person. I live my life as a "normal" person but I am OBESE. We are talking a good 65 pounds over a healthy weight. My cardiologist has told me to lose weight, my GP has told me to lose weight. I know I NEED to lose weight and yet I continue to eat too much and make poor food choices. I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds over the years. Gain 20, lose 15. Gain 30, lose 20. Amazing how I can focus on the weight I have lost and not the weight I have gained. When I start to see the pounds creeping back on I delude myself with the lies that it is only 5 pounds and I can lose them real quick. But I never do lose them. Those 5 stick around and bring in another 5 to keep them company. Next thing they are inviting 10 more pounds to join the fun and before I know it I AM OBESE.
UGH . . . I hate that word! But I think I need to keep saying it to myself to make myself understand that this is a serious problem and I am not just a LITTLE over weight. I am one of the umpteen million Americans who is OBESE. I play the games, like looking around and finding someone who is fatter than me. (It is getting harder to play because all of a sudden I am the one that everyone else is using as the "fatter than me" person.) I look in the mirror and I DON'T see an OBESE person. I see me. Same old me. A bigger version but it is still me. It's like the problem I had with my computer this past week. Some how or other I enlarged the entire screen to 200%. Everything was hanging off the page. It was all the same old stuff but BIGGER! Well, that's me when I look in the mirror. It's still me but I am bigger. But bigger also brings a lot of baggage with it. BIGGER IS NOT BETTER !!!
My baggage is a bad back, aches in my hips and knees, all sorts of gastric distress, (which is why I am up at 3 AM), my feet hurt, my shoulders and neck hurt. Nothing in my closet fits me and worst of all I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE GRAND KIDS.
SO . . . I am throwing down the gauntlet! It's food or life ! I need to make the decision that food is only fuel for my body. It is not a reward or a comfort. Food is a means to an healthy body, not the path to an early death. I LOVE to eat. I enjoy flavors, textures, smells. All that goes along with good food. But I don't know when to stop or when to say NO in the first place. Just because food is there I know I don't HAVE to eat. I need to conquer the "I WANTS", the cravings and the mindless eating that I do because the food is there.
Are you ready to do this with me ? It is a battle and I know I am not alone but this is MY battle. We all do things for our own reasons and I need to figure out mine. That is a problem I have always had . . . I need to know WHY. But maybe that is the first step for me right now. Never mind the why, Let's just get to the doing.
Today's goal . . . ADD one piece of fruit to my diet and SUBTRACT a carb. Sounds pretty easy. Let's see how this goes.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Rediscovering An Old Friend
The pool pump woke me this morning. If you have children you'll know what I am talking about when I say I am "tuned in" to the sounds of the house. I woke up hearing the pool pump go on but not sounding "right". So there I was at 8 unGodly 30 this morning out side playing around with pool filters. Once that was taken care of I have the WHOLE day ahead of me. I realize that I sleep late to avoid just this prospect. But here I was, up and facing a ton of things to do. I NEVER have NOTHING to do. I am one of those people who can ALWAYS find something to keep me busy. Probably because I don't want to have time to think, I do way too much of that as it is. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo here I am, where to begin. And then it hit me, STOP, take a few minutes to sit outside and read something spiritual, up lifting, meaningful. My friend Sharon always starts her day with reading the Bible. I know I'm not ready for that so I went to the next best thing . . . the book "SIMPLE ABUNDANCE . . . A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It was the Bible for all of us young mothers back in the 70's & 80's. If you didn't have a friend who gave you this book as a gift with the inscription,"Read this, it will change your life", then you didn't have a really, really true friend. And now here I am, resurrecting this wonderful book and thinking it is time to share it with my daughters (in-law).
SIMPLE ABUNDANCE is a most wonderful journey of self. The author wrote about me and all the thoughts and anguish I was going through as a wife and mother. It was the first time that I realized I was not alone in my unhappiness. Here was a woman who was thinking and SAYING the exact same things that I was feeling. I wasn't alone and there was hope. This book got me through some rough times before I realized there was therapy. And now I have rediscovered it. It has been sitting on my bedroom night table for 5 years. For what ever reason I picked it up this morning and am ready to renew my self. The book is not religious but it is most definitely SPIRITUAL. If you have never read this book go out and get a copy today. It is like a work book where you read one entry a day and reflect on those thoughts for the day. Each month brings you to another SIMPLE PRINCIPLE of your life. They include gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. As the author states at the end of the forward, (which is a MUST READ), "Reading books changes lives". This one will not disappoint you.
And for those of you who are curious, my friend Jeanne gave me my copy of SIMPLE ABUNDANCE, with this inscription
"Dear Cathie, A neighbor by chance, but a treasured friend by choice. Wishing you all the blessings you deserve. Love, Jeanne"
SIMPLE ABUNDANCE is a most wonderful journey of self. The author wrote about me and all the thoughts and anguish I was going through as a wife and mother. It was the first time that I realized I was not alone in my unhappiness. Here was a woman who was thinking and SAYING the exact same things that I was feeling. I wasn't alone and there was hope. This book got me through some rough times before I realized there was therapy. And now I have rediscovered it. It has been sitting on my bedroom night table for 5 years. For what ever reason I picked it up this morning and am ready to renew my self. The book is not religious but it is most definitely SPIRITUAL. If you have never read this book go out and get a copy today. It is like a work book where you read one entry a day and reflect on those thoughts for the day. Each month brings you to another SIMPLE PRINCIPLE of your life. They include gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. As the author states at the end of the forward, (which is a MUST READ), "Reading books changes lives". This one will not disappoint you.
And for those of you who are curious, my friend Jeanne gave me my copy of SIMPLE ABUNDANCE, with this inscription
"Dear Cathie, A neighbor by chance, but a treasured friend by choice. Wishing you all the blessings you deserve. Love, Jeanne"
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Birthdays
I told you yesterday that I would be back and here I am . . . Even though the Oscars are about to start I have birthdays on my mind and wanted to let you know what amazing gift I was giving myself this year. Remember when you were a kid and your birthday was coming? (It was "coming" from the day after this year's birthday.) We were always in anticipation of OUR BIRTHDAY! It was better than Christmas for sure because it was, (in the famous words of my daughter on her wedding day) . . . ALL ABOUT ME ! A birthday IS about YOU . . . not Baby Jesus, not your mom, dad, sister, brother . . . IT IS ABOUT YOU ! This is your day to shine. It is the day you were born and became the center of the universe. At least that is how it always felt to me until I was forced to grow up. There were those momentous birthdays like turning 5. That one was awesome. All of a sudden you were a BIG kid. At 5 you got to go to school, you learned how to read and add numbers together. Big time ! 12 was a cool birthday because it meant I wasn't a little kid any more. High school was on the horizon (as horrid as that turned out to be, who knew?), and I was growing up. Then came SWEET 16 with all the day dreams of a maturing teenager, (That was good for a laugh!) and a drivers permit besides! Age 18 was really great because now I'm in college and at that time the drinking age was 18! This was a big milestone which brought freedom and booze. (Just doesn't get much better that that.) Turning 21 meant officially becoming an adult, voting, working, paying taxes. It sounded a lot better at the time. The last big birthday number for me was 25. All of a sudden the fun and games were over and life became WORK. Not to say life isn't fun anymore but after 25 I felt that I was starting the slow roll down hill. The next 4 decades went by with wonderful things going on but that wonder of A BIRTHDAY just was never there ever again.
When I was turning 60 I happened to be in counseling (again) and was moaning about having another birthday, turning 60, "poor me" piss, piss, piss, moan, moan, moan. I groaned how husband wouldn't even do anything "special" for my birthday. He would do some last minute shopping at CVS or Sams Club and that would be that. The counselor suggested I plan something for myself . . . "I CAN DO THAT ?" was my response. So on my 60th birthday I was sailing along on a big catamaran off the island of St. Marten with a glass of rum punch in my hand. (Husband was with me) It was a memorable birthday and I am so glad I did it!
So now we come to this year's BD. This is the official "SENIOR CITIZEN" birthday where I proudly become part of the Medicare system. (If it still exists). Yep, I will be 65 years old the end of April. And to give myself the best gift I could think of I am in search of . . . (TA DA . . . a little drum roll please . . .)
A CLEANING PERSON !! I have decided I can travel when and where I want but when I am home I no longer want to spend my days cleaning !!!!!!! UGH, YUCK, and GROSS ! 40 some odd years of cleaning bathrooms and floors and I am done. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !
Now I just have to find someone. Any hints ?
When I was turning 60 I happened to be in counseling (again) and was moaning about having another birthday, turning 60, "poor me" piss, piss, piss, moan, moan, moan. I groaned how husband wouldn't even do anything "special" for my birthday. He would do some last minute shopping at CVS or Sams Club and that would be that. The counselor suggested I plan something for myself . . . "I CAN DO THAT ?" was my response. So on my 60th birthday I was sailing along on a big catamaran off the island of St. Marten with a glass of rum punch in my hand. (Husband was with me) It was a memorable birthday and I am so glad I did it!
So now we come to this year's BD. This is the official "SENIOR CITIZEN" birthday where I proudly become part of the Medicare system. (If it still exists). Yep, I will be 65 years old the end of April. And to give myself the best gift I could think of I am in search of . . . (TA DA . . . a little drum roll please . . .)
A CLEANING PERSON !! I have decided I can travel when and where I want but when I am home I no longer want to spend my days cleaning !!!!!!! UGH, YUCK, and GROSS ! 40 some odd years of cleaning bathrooms and floors and I am done. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !
Now I just have to find someone. Any hints ?
Saturday, March 6, 2010
It's Pixie Day !
Do you have pixies at your house ? You don't know ? Let me enlighten you. If you can answer yes to some or all of these questions then you surely do have Pixies.
1. Does you husband think you do NOTHING around the house?
2. Does your husband never wonder why he ALWAYS has clean clothes in his dresser?
3. Does your husband never wonder how his shirts get laundered AND ironed?
4. Does your husband never give a thought to where the food in the house comes from and who changes it from that Styrofoam/ saran wrapped thing that is in the fridge to the tasty treat placed before him at dinner time?
5. Does your husband EVER give a thought to the clean bathroom, kitchen (if he knows where that is), living room, bedroom?
6. Does your husband ever wonder where the chips, beer, soda, ice cream come from when he is watching his football game?
Are you getting the picture yet ? Yep ! It's the PIXIES ! We must have these magical little people who appear in the middle of the night to do all these things. Can't explain it any other way.
Well today is Pixie day and I am supposed to be cleaning but I just needed a moment with my music and computer to share some of my thoughts with you. Hope your pixies are having a great time at your house today. I'd rather be out side in the yard but those poor little pixies just needed some major help today. They haven't been doing much these last few weeks (who am I kidding, MONTHS) so today is "suck it up day" when the pixies and I get cleaning.
Tomorrow I'll tell you about my great birthday gift ! Till then . . . get out the rubber gloves and get working.
1. Does you husband think you do NOTHING around the house?
2. Does your husband never wonder why he ALWAYS has clean clothes in his dresser?
3. Does your husband never wonder how his shirts get laundered AND ironed?
4. Does your husband never give a thought to where the food in the house comes from and who changes it from that Styrofoam/ saran wrapped thing that is in the fridge to the tasty treat placed before him at dinner time?
5. Does your husband EVER give a thought to the clean bathroom, kitchen (if he knows where that is), living room, bedroom?
6. Does your husband ever wonder where the chips, beer, soda, ice cream come from when he is watching his football game?
Are you getting the picture yet ? Yep ! It's the PIXIES ! We must have these magical little people who appear in the middle of the night to do all these things. Can't explain it any other way.
Well today is Pixie day and I am supposed to be cleaning but I just needed a moment with my music and computer to share some of my thoughts with you. Hope your pixies are having a great time at your house today. I'd rather be out side in the yard but those poor little pixies just needed some major help today. They haven't been doing much these last few weeks (who am I kidding, MONTHS) so today is "suck it up day" when the pixies and I get cleaning.
Tomorrow I'll tell you about my great birthday gift ! Till then . . . get out the rubber gloves and get working.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I'm Still Alive
Were you thinking that I was in the ER with food poisoning and couldn't write? Nope! last night's dinner turned out GREAT! Well, it was pretty good. I think if I make this recipe again I will do even better, having learned a few tricks along the way. And Yes, I will try this again. It was really quite tasty. The pork was a little over done, (I just can't get past that trichinosis thing), but the flavors were wonderful. Ger thought it tasted too much of Olives but I think that was the capers that I only added when I was cooking because I didn't have them ahead of time. The sauce/marinade was a combination of Olive oil, red wine vinegar, prunes, olives, capers (if you buy them), basil, thyme and garlic. All smothering the meat for 24 hours ahead of cooking. Then it was brown the meat, add some dry white wine to make a wonderful sauce and roast the whole thing for about 20 minutes. The recipe suggested serving this over POLENTA. I have never heard of polenta and I am sorry to say I wish I never had found it in the store. It is like Cream of Wheat or Grits and it is WONDERFUL !! Oh Good ! Something else to add to my diet that I can pig out on. The recipe suggested mixing the polenta with some butter and Parmesan cheese. All I can say is OMG !
But it wasn't all fun and games and taste overload. There were a few low points to this culinary adventure. First I tried to brown the meat in my corning wear roasting pan. NOT ! You know the pan, the one that says "Do not use on stove top"! OOPS ! So after that cracked in half (thank goodness the roast was not in it yet, just olive oil . . . all over the HOT stove . . .), I figured I'd use my wonderful big metal roasting pan. Browned the meat, added the marinade and put it in the oven. Took it out of the oven, put it on the stove and then took off the oven mitts. Proceeded to turn around and grab the handle of the pan to move it over. BURN !! So there was a slight 1/2 hour delay to soak my hand in ice water and snap some aloe off the plants in the back yard. (Fingers are fine today . . . Aloe is amazing) But the ULTIMATE insult to this whole adventure in the kitchen was when I was cleaning up and got a SPLINTER from the wooden spoon ! That is just too much. I think I'll wait a while before I try any more gourmet dinners. At least, the ones I try to make at home. Calling for reservations is much much simpler.
But it wasn't all fun and games and taste overload. There were a few low points to this culinary adventure. First I tried to brown the meat in my corning wear roasting pan. NOT ! You know the pan, the one that says "Do not use on stove top"! OOPS ! So after that cracked in half (thank goodness the roast was not in it yet, just olive oil . . . all over the HOT stove . . .), I figured I'd use my wonderful big metal roasting pan. Browned the meat, added the marinade and put it in the oven. Took it out of the oven, put it on the stove and then took off the oven mitts. Proceeded to turn around and grab the handle of the pan to move it over. BURN !! So there was a slight 1/2 hour delay to soak my hand in ice water and snap some aloe off the plants in the back yard. (Fingers are fine today . . . Aloe is amazing) But the ULTIMATE insult to this whole adventure in the kitchen was when I was cleaning up and got a SPLINTER from the wooden spoon ! That is just too much. I think I'll wait a while before I try any more gourmet dinners. At least, the ones I try to make at home. Calling for reservations is much much simpler.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Cooking Up Something New
And I do mean food ! Did you see the movie "Julie/Julia" ? I have seen it twice, once with the girls and once with the husband. It is cute and enjoyable, (nothing that I would normally watch twice but husband was curious), and both times it has renewed my passion for GOOD food, EXOTIC food, DIFFERENT food. Well the other day I was skimming a magazine in the Dr.'s waiting room and came upon a recipe for a tender pork tenderloin. I really like pork but over the years I have only found one way to prepare it so that it is moist AND tender. (I first had to get over my childhood thinking that pork HAD to be cooked to shoe leather to keep from getting trichinosis). And now here is a recipe, staring me in the face with DELICIOUS looking pictures and ingredients that I already had at home. (almost all) Just then the nurse called me in to the exam room and I took the magazine with me, like I was in the middle of an article. After the initial check in she left me alone to wait for the Dr. I felt like a thief in the night but tore that recipe out and stuck it in my bag before anyone caught me. (I could have left and gone searching for the magazine but this was too good a recipe to possibly miss.)
It has taken me several weeks since the theft to get up my courage and find the time to try this masterpiece. As I write it is simmering in the oven and the smells coming out of the kitchen are to die for. Can it possibly taste as good as I have imagined? I'll let you know tomorrow if I am not dieing of food poisoning.
It has taken me several weeks since the theft to get up my courage and find the time to try this masterpiece. As I write it is simmering in the oven and the smells coming out of the kitchen are to die for. Can it possibly taste as good as I have imagined? I'll let you know tomorrow if I am not dieing of food poisoning.
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