EIGHTY IS THE NEW ONE HUNDRED

 I am not aging well.  It is becoming increasingly evident that I will not live to be 100.  Nor do I want to if I have to put up with all the parts of my body deciding they ALL want attention.  NOW !!   Good Grief Charlie Brown, when did I get old ???   But it could be worse.

The other night my cousins husband came over for dinner.  His wife, my cousin passed away last May from congestive heart failure.  They were here in Florida for 2 weeks and she looked terrible.  She was horribly swollen and EVERYONE told her to go the the ER.  But being from my mother's side of the family she did not go.  In fact not only did she not go to the doctor down here she flew home to NY and waited a week before she went to her doctor up there.  She was dead 2 weeks later. (That will NEVER be me because I am at some doctor every other week. In fact my GP is offering me a job because I am there so often.)

Back to "cousin" Ken. (Names have been changed)  My cousin was only 75 when she died.  Her husband just turned 80 and he is NOT a happy camper.   The poor guy told us the story of how his wife died and his adventures as a widower. His first major shocker, (which I can't imagine he didn't know all along), was that his now dead wife was a HORDER.  I knew that just from going to thrift shops with her when ever she was in Florida.  Thrift shops were her idea of Heaven.  We never came home empty handed.  

And so last week when her husband arrived at their condo down here he had to go shopping for a POT to boil water in.   There are at least 5 full sets of dishes in the kitchen cabinets but not a single pot to cook in.  (They NEVER at home when in FL so why she needed all those dishes I will never know.).  At their home in NY Ken said he couldn't believe all the crap that was in the house. (Being a man he never noticed?)  He has spent the past 6 months throwing out 95 percent of the stuff in the house and he says it is still cluttered.  

Once the house "cleaning" was done Ken had time to think.  And he decided he is not happy.  Naturally he misses his wife.  With her gone there is no one to tell him what to do.  What and when to eat. Where to drive and how to get places. There is no one there cooking for him, doing laundry, shopping. The poor guy is LOST and alone.  So what does any single male do in this situation?   He joined a dating site.  (I almost squirted soda out my nose when he told us that.  My Man did an excellent job keeping a straight face. )

Now please do not think that I am looking down on dating sites.  There is someone out there for everyone and these places do their best to help you find that special someone.  BUT . . .  I think there may be an expiration date.  Ken shared with us that he was very honest when he filled out his form.  He is in fairly good health, (although when he walked up our path he was very stooped over.)  He loves to play golf, he is single AND he is 80.    Apparently it is the part about being 80 that is a turn off for anyone under the age of 90.  

I told him he was a hot commodity down here and all he has to do is sit by the pool and the women will flock to him like ants on an Oreo cookie.  He told me he wasn't interested in "those" women.  (Because they are all as old as he is?).  He would rather check out the "babes" on the computer with the high hopes of finding someone to share his life.  I REALLY didn't want to burst his bubble but SERIOUSLY GIRLS, Who in their right mind is going to take on an 80 year old man who has been catered to for the past 50 years ??????????   And he doesn't have millions of dollars !   

The Man and I are still talking about our dinner with Ken . . . I feel for the guy but HOLY COW !!!

A REMINDER

 Every so often we need a reminder of how special we are.   Not bragging or boasting or patting myself on the back for anything but I think we all tend to forget that we ARE special.  Each in our own crazy way. 

I forget that fact often!   Every day starts with our thinking of all the things we have to get done in the next 24 hours.  We get up and jump into the "daily grind". (Well, not so much jump these days but you know what I am saying.).  The day starts, our brains start, our bodies hopefully start, even if they aren't working on all the burners . . . we do start.  And we are off to the rat race of another day.  

Every day brings new adventures and challenges.  Some good, some bad but ALWAYS a challenge.  Taking care of the family, clean the house, shopping, grabbing a mouthful of food as we work our way through the day.  (Usually more than just one mouthful).   Hopefully we take a few moments for ourselves but that is always the last thing we consider.  It's always about the family, friends and home.  

(Of course when you get to be a certain age much of your time is spent "taking care of yourself" but not in the way we would like.  For me taking care of myself would involve a deserted island in the Caribbean complete with a good book and lots of snacks and drinks. That never happens.  The reality of "taking care of ourselves" involves lots and lots of doctor visits.  There is always something going wrong with this old body. Like a 1945 Ford my parts always need repairing and replacing.)

All of this "living" wears us down physically and mentally.   And when I get worn down I forget I am not alone in all of this.  My response to life is to withdraw and climb inside my head. THAT is NOT a good place to be. As the sign by my computer says, "Don't walk a mile in my shoes. Take five seconds inside my head and it will freak you out!"    

It was a wonderful holiday this year but I was exhausted !  January 2 found me ready to die.  My body was hurting and I was feeling lousy.  Even though I slept for almost 12 hours I just couldn't gain any energy.  My stomach was a mess, (thank you Christmas cookies and a truck load of chocolate) My body ached in places I didn't know I had, (Thank you cold and damp weather), and I had a cough and trouble breathing. I was convinced I was ready to croak!   In my head I was running through the list of cancers, viruses, ulcers and any number of other ailments that I KNEW I had contracted.   A visit to my doctor told me otherwise but I still wasn't convinced I was going to make it through the week.  Because I lost my appetite I knew for sure I was heading for being 6 feet under in a matter of days.  

And then I went to play mini golf with a wonderful friend. Theresa is patient with this old lady and she humors me often.  She had stopped by one afternoon and as she was leaving she suggested we go play miniature golf the next day.  And we did !!!!!  We had a great time, laughing the entire time. Just the medicine I needed.  Not a single ache or pain the entire time.  I only started feeling crappy as I approached my home.  That tells you a lot. 

BUT this morning I felt good when I woke up.  (The prednisone the Dr. prescribed is working) I started cleaning out the guest bedroom and I came across a box of greeting cards that people had sent me for birthdays and other occasions.  I decided to go through the box to see just what I had saved.  

It was a reminder !!!!!!!   As I sat here reading these cards from wonderful people in my life it reminded me I am not alone in this journey. But more importantly I am LOVED.  Notes that Mr. Man had written in birthday cards to me reminded me how blessed I am to have this man in my life.   Notes from family reminded me how precious my children and grand children always are. And my friends !!!  WOW !!  

All this is a reminder !  A reminder that I really needed right about now.  Why did I decided to take time to sit and go through these cards today?   Why did I even keep these cards all these years ???  

Why do I forget how Blessed I am ?????? 

CANNOLI FOR COMMUNION

 I always love how my parish decorates the church and alter at Christmas time.  My Florida parish is fairly large, the church is fairly new and it is ALWAYS decorated beautifully. My Michigan church is under major renovation which will hopefully be completed by the end of this month,  During the major construction on the 100+ year old building all the masses are being held in the church basement. It is a small parish so the decorations this year were minimal but lovely.  (I can watch mass in MI on my computer so I was able to attend their Christmas service.). 

When I had returned to Florida this year the pastor of my Florida Church, St. Patrick, commented on the fact that it would be quite a challenge this year to get the church decorated for Christmas. Because Christmas was on a Monday the church would/could not be decorated until after the 11:15 mass on Sunday.  At that time they would have exactly THREE hours to get everything set for the 4:00 Christmas vigil mass.  That is quite a challenge for a church of our size. But sure enough . . . they did it!

                                                  . . .  EXCEPT , , ,

When I walked into church on Christmas morning I felt like I was attending an Italian festival. Flash backs of San Gennaro Italian festival in Little Italy, NYC flashed through my head. From the top of the ceiling at the back of the alter all the way down to the floor the wall was draped in red, white and green fabric.  I expected Christopher Columbus to be on the alter saying mass and instead of the host at communion we would be served Chianti and Cannolis. 

 There were lovely Christmas trees with twinkling white lights, the life size manger scene at the foot of the alter and beautiful green garlands sparkling with lights hanging on the side walls of the alter.  But front and center, larger that life was the Italian flag !!!!   

I came to realize later that the "white" bunting was actually "gold" but the color was so light that it appeared to be white.  I couldn't focus on anything else.  

True to form mass was lovely, our pastor gave a wonderful homily, the choir was accompanied by trumpets and drums but it still felt like I was in Italy.